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Windows Operating Systems Family History

Posted: February 10, 2003
Win 1.0

1985 - Windows 1.0

Microsoft tries to duplicate the success of the C-64's GEOS with Windows 1.0
Intel 286 users now have a spiffy calculator AND reversi!

1987 - General Protection Fault

1990 - Windows 3.1

Microsoft's first reliable and stable GUI. Does a very good job of duplicating the look and feel of the Macintosh operating system. Brings Microsoft's OS strongly into the middle 1980s. Mouse now available with some IBM clones. Mouse and modem save precious CPU interupts by sharing the same one.

1993 - Windows NT 3.1

Microsoft re-writes VMS and calls it New Technology. Not nearly as stable as VMS, but much prettier. First true Blue Screen of Death. Freedom from 8.3 filenames declaired.

1996 - Windows 95 / Window NT 4.0

Microsoft releases Windows '95. Windows NT 4.0 steals the last few interface differences between NT and MacOS. Apple vows never to make another interface upgarade. Windows nowships with a complimentary version of the Concepts Virus.

1999 - Windows 98

Microsoft release Window's '98. People not sure why they are upgrading. In other news: Linux gaining popularity.

2000 - Windows CeMeNT

Microsoft realease Windows CeMeNT. A gritty combination of 3 OSs in one rock solid pakage.

2001 - Windows 2000

Microsoft realease Windows 2000. Microsoft re-writes Windows NT. Not as stable as NT, not any prettier either. Stomps on dead husk of Y2K bug.

Win XP

2002 - Windows XP

With the neglected MacOS lagging far behind in innovation Microsoft surges ahead by releasing an OS with no device drivers. In other news: Apple quickly re-writes Unix and calls it New Technology. Not as solid as Unix, but much prettier. OSX capitalizes on the no driver trend.

Predictions For The Future

2006 - Windows 2005

Microsoft releases Windows 2005. Microsoft plants Windows flag on the moon.

2008 - Windows Retro

Windows Retro with CGA and EGA graphics. The Start Menu contains only Excel 1.0 and Cyan-Magenta-Yellow-Black Tetris. The triumphant return of General Protection Faults. Special Retro Intel boxes now ship with no sound card - can only produce CNTL-G bell.

Win 20X6

20X7 - Windows 20X6

(Pronounced Windows 20-X-D-6) Stinko Man K Edition. In other news: Apple re-writes Windows and calls it New Technology. Not as stable as Windows, but much prettier.

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