TO: Team Owners

Fore!
Ah, the Katatonics. A team mirroring its name. They've completely lost voluntary control of their destiny, much as a person would if they caught their foot in the seat belt strap as they backed their way out of a Ford Explorer, ultimately getting smacked on their backside (by the cement). They now rest aimlessly in 7^th place, a mere 1.75 points better than Cesar. Take another drink of beer, Kevin, and .. "HEY WAIT! NOT THAT BEER! THAT'S CESAR'S!".

Lying There, Like Brian Wilson Did
Like a bunch of bare naked ladies, this is the week that team owners wished they had a million dollars for new players. Sheila lead this group of under performing owners as a result of an untimely off week for both Emmitt Smith and Karim -Adul Jabbar. Fortunately for her, both replacement players at least showed up on the stat sheets before her team was skyhooked off the stage with a paltry 535 point week. Rikki-Tiki Barber actually got a TD, to boot.

Bumbles Bounce!
Cesar's team benefited like a golfer getting a timely bounce into the fairway off of a spectator's head (Steve Young?), which happened to be cleverly lined up on the left side of the rough. Kurt Warner (who?), playing for the Lambs, came on like a Nittany Lion with 4 TDs. This enabled Cesar to overcome poor performances by Terrell Owens and Robert Smith (again) to score near the 1,000 point mark. Perhaps the biggest faux pas of the season occurred this week as the Gazelles elected to go with the hot hand of Brad Johnson instead of staying at home in Peyton's Place. Kiss goodbye that season high 1,225 point week and the season lead for top QB score. Oopsy.

It's as easy as an A,B,C-Note
The lead has officially changed. In fact, it very much appears like last year's final week. Robert (the Rose Horse) Wolk and his Galloping Gazelles leads Bruce by 16 points as both scored over 1,000 this week. Thus far, there have been five 1,000 point weeks by four owners. Einar brings up the rear as Jake continues to try to unclog his sewer line in the bowels of Tecumseh. Is it time to bench Terrell Davis in favor of Ron Rivers?

Even Stephen
Barry FINALLY played Stephen Davis. Just in time to get the last bit of milk (206 point week) from that cow. Now if he can only figure out which kicker to play. Looks like you can finally ask Mike, who scored 110 at that position (which would have been 160 had Peterson made that 30 yarder �). Negative scoring at the kicker position is a real problem.

Guts!
We are in the heart of the season now. The first three weeks are gone and NFL and EFL teams are starting to show their true colors. For details, check out the Week 3 Score Sheet. Don't forget to double check your score. Ciao, baby.