Put
On Your Dancing Shoes...
Put
On Your Dancing Shoes...
...and get ready to bust a move!
Congratulations! You've made it to the fun part-Dancing!! Now remember, during the Eighteenth Century, formal balls were one of the main places where a young lady could increase her chances for a successful marriage through demonstration of her social graces. At a formal ball, dance floor etiquette was obligatory in order for a woman to appear her best.
Now, you're at the ball, looking absolutely fabulous might we add, and all of a sudden, Mr. Wrong approaches you. He compliments your attire, asks after your family, and then….HE ASKS YOU TO DANCE! Oh, no!-this is not a man whom you want to be seen with on the dance floor!! What are you supposed to do in such a predicament? (click below on the letter of the answer you deem most appropriate)
A. Politely refuse, telling him you are not well versed in the steps for this particular dance.
B. Tell him to take a hike! Why should you be seen with such a buffoon?
Now that you know how to handle yourself when approached by a less desirous man, let's assume that you have finally been asked to dance by Mr. Right. Upon approaching the dance floor, there is another issue you must deal with: posture. Keep in mind that the way in which you carry yourself onto the dance floor says a lot about who you are and how you feel about yourself. Here are your options:
A. Approach the dance floor carrying yourself rather carelessly.
B. Approach the dance floor in an extremely forward position. In other words, you chest is prominent and your chin is high in the air.
C. Approach the dance floor with your head erect and your body upright, without affectation and boldness.
D. Approach the dance floor in a stooping position, unwilling to make eye contact with anyone unless specifically addressed.
So now that you know how to carry yourself onto the dance floor, what do you do when you get there? Do you…
A.
Grab hold of Mr. Right's hand and wait for the
music.
B. Pull him close to you and say "I'm so glad to be dancing with such a hunk!"
C. Perform a curtsy.
Okay, now that you are set with the proper dance partner, posture, and beginning rituals, you should consider what type of dance in which you would want to engage with Mr. Right. Keep in mind, you are not an extraordinarily skilled dancer. You know the steps of the general dances, but you always get nervous in front of a large audience and tend to fumble the more intricate steps. With these considerations in mind, do you want to...
A. Dance a Minuet with Mr. Right
B. Dance a more common Country Dance with Mr. Right
C. Don't dance at all. You wouldn't want to embarrass yourself in front of your partner as well as all of the company.
D. Wait for the Macarena
Now, we understand that you chose Mr. Right based on his social status, appearance, and reputation, but how do you know that he's really the one when you're at the ball? The answer to that question is simple--pay attention to HIS dance etiquette. Let's look at Jane Austen's Emma, for example. In chapter 38 of the novel, all of the guests are having a wonderful time dancing at the ball, except Harriet, who is sitting in the corner alone. When it is brought to Mr. Elton's attention that Harriet does not have a dance partner, Mr. Elton replies that "[his] dancing days are over" and abruptly exits (Austen 271). When Mr. Knightley, on the other hand, spies Harriet alone at the table, he immediately "lead[s] [her] to the set" (Austen 271). At eighteenth-century formal balls, it was considered inappropriate for a man who was not already engaged in a dance to allow a woman to remain without a dancing partner. Therefore, while Mr. Elton's actions are considered an "unpardonable rudeness," Mr. Knightley's behavior earns the esteem of all of the company, especially Emma and Harriet (Austen 273). This specific scene in Emma not only reflects some of the desired etiquette of the time, but it also proves, through Mr. Elton's and Mr. Knightley's actions, what it takes to be Mr. Right.
Well, you must be congratulated on a job well done. You made it through accepting a dance with a partner, carrying yourself with dignity to the dance floor, performing the formal ball rituals, and choosing the dance most suitable for your abilities. Here are just a few more things you should know about eighteenth- century formal balls before you move on to the next part of your quest.
First, remember to be on time. If the ball begins at six, you do not want to make a late appearance. Such careless actions not only cause you to miss the first dances, but also to lose Mr. Right to other dance partners in the room.
Second, considering you are not a skilled Minuet dancer, you may want to attempt to engage in conversation while the Minuet dances take place. If you are occupied with conversation when a man desires to dance with you, he will be forced to come back later when your attention is toward the dance floor (Hilton 287). Make sure to use your discretion in these particular situations, though. If you remain in conversation for too long, you risk not having a dance partner when you finally want to approach the dance floor. Well, the evening has finally come to a close, and you must be wondering….are you going to live
This could be you at the end of the evening...
or
You Are Correct!
Good girl!! If a man invites you to dance and you do not wish to, the best option is to first resist politely. If he persists in his invitation, though, you are "obliged to dance [with him], even at the expense of making an utter fool of yourself" (Hilton 288). Also keep in mind that if you choose to resist his invitation and he accepts this refusal, you are then prevented from dancing with another man for the remainder of the evening. This could be a problem if Mr. Right were to later ask you to dance…(Hilton 288).
Try Again!
Remember, you are a lady attempting to appeal to Mr. Right. By humiliating Mr. Wrong, you are hurting your own self-image--not to mention Mr. Wrong's feelings (Hilton 288).
Try Again!
If you carry yourself carelessly, the guests in the room will regard you indifferently. For a girl who is attempting to impress Mr. Right, an indifferent appearance not only means that you will not be noticed, but it will lessen your chances of endearing the man of your dreams (Rameau 31).
Try Again!
If you hold yourself too far forward, you will be deemed pretentious. Now remember, while confidence is a good quality, a woman who appears self-absorbed will intimidate and repel the men in the room (Rameau 31).
You Are Correct!
You're on a roll! Of course you want to carry yourself upright and with the least amount of pretension as possible. If you accomplish this, you are guaranteed to be regarded as a fine lady by all--especially Mr. Right (Rameau 31)!
Try Again!
If you stoop and avoid eye contact, the guests will assume you are "dreamy or shy", and no man desires a woman who seems unsure of herself (Rameau 31). So head up, honey! Look em' all in the eye and let em' know that you think you're a knockout!!
Try Again!
An eighteenth-century lady does not want to be grabbing anything, especially if it belongs to a man.
Try Again!
First, "hunk" was probably not even a word used during the Eighteenth Century. Second, keep your feelings and emotions to yourself. A woman should be reserved and proper. If she is too forward with her emotions, a man could mistaken her for a person of difficulty and desperation.
You Are Correct!
When you arrive on the dance floor, your dance partner will bow, and you, in return, will curtsy. According to the Dance Master, a perfect and proper curtsy at the time required that a "lady turn her legs outward and bend, then straighten her knees while lowering and raising her gaze" (Hilton 276). She and her partner then make an honor to the selected "King" of the ball (Hilton 283). After this, the lady places her "left hand in [her partner's] while looking at him, [and] then they both face the Presence [of the party] and bow" (Hilton 283). Once these rituals are accomplished, all you must do is wait for the music, and begin dancing on your partner's lead.
Try Again!
Although the Minuet is an extremely popular dance of the Eighteenth Century, it is considered more a work of art rather than a source of social entertainment. Only a few couples perform the Minuet. Such a couple is surrounded by the rest of the company in a circle, admired, and applauded at the end (Rust 60). Therefore, since you are not extremely adept at dancing, the Minuet is probably a dance you should steer clear of. Not only are the steps intricate, but it is also the type of dance that places you at the center of attention. While such attention would be beneficial for a skilled dancer, this type of situation can prove extremely embarrassing for a person who tends to get nervous in front of an audience.
You Are Correct!
Country Dances are the second most popular dances of this time, and the most common. While this type of dance has specific rules and requirements in order to be performed to perfection, its steps are more relaxed than those of the Minuet, and the dance usually involves several more couples. For example, in a Country Dance, about thirty or forty couples place themselves opposite to one another and begin a figure on the dance floor (Rust 61). The easier step and the more populated dance floor make a dance such as this the better choice for a girl of your abilities.
Try Again!
No matter how much confidence you may lack in your dancing abilities, dancing is a necessity at a formal ball. If you refuse to dance the entire evening, the guests will severely question your character and your ability to survive in a social setting(Hilton 288). Therefore, even though you my be apprehensive, try to choose one of the easier dancers and make the most of it!
Try Again!
If you are waiting for this dance, be prepared to remain on the dance floor for a couple hundred years---it's just a little bit ahead of your time, sweetie.