Ambercon 2000 Quotes

Slot 1

"Brand New World" by Chris Kindred

It is a golden age. Your kingdom sits at the center of the universe. Your city is the one true city. You are the princes and princesses of the universe. Your father is king of the perfect realm. Your home is Amber. Your father is Brand. This is not a "Dark Amber/Brand won and is mean to us" game.

Cast of Characters

Children of Brand (in order of birth)
Rick Garman:Kira
Keith Cripe:Nicholas, Crown Prince
Jim Groves:Gawain
Dana Bayer:Kerr
Jeremy Zimmerman:Kartikeya
Andy Blija:Jeff

"And those weren't pretty 18 years." -- GM
"I had to walk uphill in the snow both ways to the castle!" -- Rick Garman

"Sorry, I've been substitute teaching for 3rd graders. Raised hands freak me out." -- GM to ?

"Your father's Brand, your mother's Dara, and you just now decided to get therapy?" -- GM to ?

"Bleys used to think it was cute. 'Oh, look, there's Kira and her army.'" -- GM to ?

"(Kira's) just someone no one talks about. Except for when she attacks." -- Andy to ?

"I'm not waking up in Castle Julian." -- Brand to ?, describing why he watches his family

"We do it because we're big and they're really, really small." -- Andy Blija to ?, explaining the same

"All Fiona said is, 'Yeah, it's a curse. Deal with it.'" -- GM to ?, about the attacks of the "Green Knight"

"Hijinx ensued, Corwin got his eyes burned out." -- GM to ?, describing the events of the Corwin books

"I have another companion." -- Nicholas, on learning that Kerr views him as a mentor
"I believe the correct term is 'hanger on.'" -- GM

"So, wait. If you're Cindy, and you're Jan, then you're..." -- Dana Bayer
"Sam the butcher." -- Jim Groves

"I'm taking San loss..." -- GM
"Hey, that's the quote of the session." -- Dana Bayer

"We're not the Brady Bunch, we're the Brandy Bunch." -- Andy Blija to the group

"Well, except (Kerr). But we don't talk about (Kerr)." -- Andy Blija to Dana Bayer

"You look like a bright man." -- Julian to Kartikeya
"Must be poor lighting." -- Andy Blija

"Care to stare at it? Make psychic contact? Poke your finger at it?" -- GM to Kartikeya, trying to tempt him

"He has the neutrality and geniality of Gérard, and the sinister cunning of Caine. He is 'Gawain.'" -- Jim Groves to ?, in a tragic word play accident

"I keep my abilities deeply hidden." -- Kerr
"Your abilities are 'Hide,' 'Flee,' and 'Squeal Like a Girl.'" -- GM

"What Kartikeya lacks in skill he makes up for with enthusiasm." -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"Wow, he must be very happy." -- Andy Blija

"How odd. I seem to be very popular all of a sudden." -- Julian
"That is odd..." -- Kartikeya

"I'm hoping it's not Flora, but I don't know for certain." -- Julian
"There's only one way to find out." -- Kartikeya
"Remind me to talk to your father about promoting you as a tactician." -- Julian

"You are one with the migraine you are having." -- GM to Jeff, after he tries looking at a Shadow storm with a Pattern lens

"Does it respond to hails?" -- Kartikeya, on seeing a shadowy figure on the other side
"Are you opening hailing frequencies?" -- GM

"Echoes of Thunder" by George Gitari and Rachel Holmberg

Like another king, it took ten long years for Random to return from the war. Since his return, only a single year has passed in Amber. The politics of Amber are a seething cauldron, because while many "Golden Circle Shadows" remain loyal, many more are full of strife, seeking to extend their power during the High King's absence. Some cultures do not consider a treaty with Oberon as valid now that he is dead, and the re-negotiations seem endless. Most of the Family are gathered around and working to maintain Amber's dominance in Shadow. A Royal Jubilee to celebrate the coronation of King Random and to honor the dead of the Patternfall war. Four days and four nights of ritual, feast, and sport. Many treaties were signed, some wars - declared and covert - were begun, and two unlucky Shadow princes died. "A colossal waste of time, but we managed to get a little work done," quoth the King.

Cast of Characters

Sasha Burdick:?
Chris ?:?

"I'm on the floor between David and your father." -- Chris to Sasha Burdick

"Can we please get off of Smurfette?" -- Chris to the group

"Would you like to know who killed him first?" -- GM George to the group

"Kiss Me, Fi!" by Matthew Richardson

Taming of the Shrew, Take Two. King Random has set upon a plan to rid himself of his most meddlesome sister. Using Florimel's engagement to Despil and some rather archaic marriage laws in Amber, Random has declared that Fiona must marry first if traditions are to be honored. Thus is Fiona shipped off to Sawallways, and Mandor is called upon to woo the King's shrewish sister. But there are doubts in Sawall; is Fiona the victim, or is this a play within a play?

Cast of Characters

Lucas Amodio:Julian
Kris Fazzari:Flora
Carrie Fish:Fiona
Patrick Franklin:Merlin
Sean Frost:Corwin
Wendi Strang-Frost:Dara
Jarrod Van Kirk:Mandor
Scott Whitney:Despil

"What's the matter, Mandor, afraid of a little competition?" -- Despil to Mandor
"Mandor's always afraid when one of the people at the wedding is prettier than him." -- GM

"Generally in my games, if you don't have the power, you don't know jack about it." -- GM to the group
"Oooh, that means I know a whole lot about nothing." -- Sean Frost

"That won't make (me) happy, especially after talking to Despil and getting nowhere." -- Dara to Mandor
"What do you mean nowhere? I told you everything I know!" -- Despil
"And it was nothing useful." -- Dara

"Certain items keep not getting packed. Potions, spell books..." -- GM to Fiona
"Castration shears..." -- Sean Frost
"Hey!" -- Mandor

"It's Chaosian tradition that the bachelor party involves a hunt." -- Random to Corwin
"Don't worry, we'll give you a head start." -- Despil to Mandor

"(Flora) has a lot of stuff. She's bringing a lot of clothing." -- GM to Julian
"I'm getting married!" -- Flora
"And a lot of books." -- GM to Julian
"I'm getting married!" -- Flora

"What color do you prefer?" -- GM
"Pink." -- Mandor

"I didn't beat (Jurt) enough as a child, did I?" -- Dara to the group

"For some reason, the Amberites have been delayed." -- GM to the Chaosites
"Dara looks innocent." -- Wendi Strang-Frost
"Dara can't!" -- GM

"We're giving you the flower of our womanhood. Oh wait, that's just (Despil)." -- Corwin
"But what did you get for Mandor?" -- Despil
"I get the thorn." -- Mandor

"I am your manservant." -- Pipskintinkle
"Take in the cow." -- Corwin
"He looks to Fiona." -- GM

"Then you see (Dara), like a flower in the field. A surly, frowning flower, but still..." -- GM to Corwin

"(Jurt) looks innocent." -- GM
"He can't! He got that from Dara." -- Scott Whitney

"The shrubbery hates me too!" -- Corwin to the group, after being attacked by the hedge maze

"If (Corwin and Belissa) face each other in honorable combat..." -- Kira to Flora
"I can't win in honorable combat!" -- Corwin

"We're chasing what?" -- Corwin
"A fire angel. You know, a large winged demon with a sword of flame." -- Chaosite hunter
"You don't have deer?" -- Corwin

"I have my ego to protect me." -- Corwin
"That's a small shield." -- GM
"No, it's a pretty big one." -- Corwin
"It just shatters easily." -- Wendi Strang-Frost

"The earth begins to shake." -- GM
"That doesn't happen without a woman, usually." -- Corwin

"I hate Chaos." -- Corwin to the group, multiple times

"Oh, that's phallic." -- Sean Frost
"Well, that's Mandor." -- GM
"This is the man with large, floating balls, after all." -- Kris Fazzari

"Couldn't we have played whist?" -- Corwin to the group, while facing the monster

"Mark and Jesse's Thursday Game: Chronicles of Narnia, Chapter I" by Mark MacKinnon and Jesse Scoble

From the Lantern Waste, up-river, west of Beaverdam, to the shores of Cair Paravel stretch the lands of Narnia. Come, you sons of Adam and daughters of Eve, revel in the glory of that place which is so much more Real than our own world, and discover the truth of the old stories for yourselves.

"Look well on that which no eyes will ever see again," said the Queen. "Such was Charn, that great city, the city of the King of Kings, the wonder of the world, perhaps of all worlds.... It is silent now. But I have stood here when the whole air was full of the noises of Charn; the trampling of feet, the creaking of wheels, the cracking of the whips and the groaning of slaves, the thunder of chariots, and the sacrificial drums beating in the temples. I have stood here (but that was near the end) when the roar of battle went up from every street and the river of Charn ran red." She paused and added, "All in one moment one woman blotted it out forever."

"Who?" said Digory in a faint voice....

"I," said the Queen. "I, Jadis, the last Queen, but the Queen of the World."

Cast of Characters

Seth Blumberg:Socrates
Valerie Kessler:Sophie
Cal Rea:Rupert
Paul Vlamis:Mouse
Jim ?:Bee-Bee

"(Aslan) is not going to fit into a Pokéball." -- Socrates to ?

"We can have bananas in a temperate environment?" -- Socrates
"Hey, we can grow a log cabin - of course we can have bananas!" -- Sophie

"Percy's in the fire! Percy's in the fire!" -- Mouse
"You see a winged horse, and on the winged horse you see Percy and Bertie and Rupert." -- GM
"Oh. Percy's not in the fire." -- Mouse

"The most parsimonious thing we could do is to have Beauregard take a drop of his strength potion..." -- Socrates
OK, first of all, my name's NOT Beauregard. It's Bee-Bee. And second of all, what's parsimonious?" -- Bee-Bee

"I sit on my throne and play with my tool." -- Rupert to ?

"NO! Tourbots!" by Sarah Kindred

Munden's bar is where it matter what it may happen to be. Please be moderately familiar with the Grimjack canon. Any PC, any system, any time, pending GM veto. Absolutely! NO!!!!! Tourbots!

Cast of Characters

Simone Cooper:The Badger
John Davies:Frank Cornelius
Joe Fillipini:Kyle?
Sol Foster:?
Jack Gulick:Kwan Lock?
Terry O'Brien:E-man
John Schippers:Dr. Shade

"Do you know secrets man was not meant to know?" -- NPC tempting Dr. Shade
"I do!!!!!!" -- The Badger
"I can help you forget them." -- Frank Cornelius

"I've forgotten more things than you'll ever forget." -- Frank Cornelius to ?

"Aren't you the famous Mr. Spooky? My childhood hero?" -- The Badger to Dr. Shade

"I'm the eternal straight man." -- Dr. Shade to ?

"A demon invasion sounds bad. I mean, that would affect animals and baby ducks and stuff." -- The Badger to ?

"Is that a Freudian deal? Where you sell your soul to Freud?" -- The Badger to ?

"I've been to Hell, and it's not like Wisconsin." -- Dr. Shade to ?

"I'd rather be in Hell than Wisconsin." -- Dr. Shade to ?, a few moments later

"Take him out." -- Frank Cornelius
"If you're so worried, why don't you take him out?" -- Kyle
"I'm smoking." -- Frank Cornelius

"I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to the voices in my head." -- Frank Cornelius
"You have those too?" -- Kyle

"And then you just accept everything, because it's not as weird as what's in your head." -- Frank Cornelius to ?

"Did you find the flying chrome pig zone? It's the best! Smells like bacon!" -- The Badger to ?

"You're not supposed to say that!" -- The Badger
"I'll just think it out loud." -- Frank Cornelius

"Because I know I'd litter in suburbia." -- Dr. Shade to ?

"If you move, I'll destroy the (Manx) cat!" -- The Badger
"Then it's a Manx Standoff." -- Frank Cornelius

"I've got eyebrow insurance." -- Kyle to the group, after blowing his off
"His premiums are really high." -- Jack Gulick

"Oh, no no no no no no no. It's not that easy." -- GM to ?

"He turns you into a toad." -- GM to Dr. Shade
"Run like a bastard for the no-magic zone!" -- Frank Cornelius

"Assuming that it's not a terminate and stay resident toad spell." -- GM to ?

"Where do you live?" -- GM
"It's hard to describe." -- Dr. Shade
"The Shady Zone." -- Sol Foster

"You actually understood what happened? In character, I mean?" -- Sol Foster
"I'm pretending I do." -- John Schippers

"Storm Chasers" by Nicole Amendolara and Paul Weimer

It's six months after the Patternfall War. Random and Vialle have been installed as King and Queen of the Eternal City. The feasting and dancing has finally died down, returning life to its pendulum of daily existence. Most of the Elder Amberites have left for Shadow Realms, while some of the Third Generation, newly returned from Shadow for the coronation, take up residence in Amber for a little while. All was well, in the bright lands of Amber. And then it began to rain, and rain, and rain...

Cast of Characters

Anne Devlin?:?
R.F. McCaughey?:?
Bridgette ?:?

"I've been to the bottom of the Abyss and back." -- Bridgette ?
"Again?!" -- Ray ? and Anne ?

Slot 2

"Amber Victrix" by Cathy Klessig

Special session, to kick off Phase II of the campaign. "The universe is back; now what?" It's a game about what happens right after the Patternfall War.

Cast of Characters

Andy ?:?

"It's magic of a strange and orderly kind that you've never tasted before." -- GM to ?
"It's as if you were eating rice, and the grains were all lined up." -- Andy ?

"Most people don't like being called 'it,' but I think it's very interesting that you're willing to make the pronounic adventure." -- GM to ?

"Chaos High: Class Reunion" by Joe Filippini

Join us for the first annual reunion of the Chaos High Class of Zer-Beta '786. Dust off your old yearbooks and be sure to practice the old Alma Mater!

Cast of Characters

Randy Cox?:Rez
Jeremy Zimmerman:Adair
Jeff ?:Candor of Jesby
Shawn ?:Shady
Terry O'Brien:Morgaine

"As I put it in the other room, Morgaine was the queen of the prom, Adair was the queen at the prom." -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"Especially since they both showed up wearing the same dress." -- Terry O'Brien

"Don't do that! It might be contagious." -- a demon servant to Adair, after Adair pokes a finger at a the blobby form of an ex-classmate

"I see you brought a date. Does he have a key?" -- Morgaine
"Yes, but I left it at home. He's all wound up for the evening." -- Adair

"Can you help me with my date?" -- Candor
"Sorry, she's not my type." -- Adair

"That's not a good color on you." -- Candor (who has started to hallucinate) to Shady
"Sweety, I've been saying that all night." -- Adair

"Morgaine, you're at ground zero. What are you doing?" -- GM to Morgaine

"Rude? You're trying to kill me! That's rude!" -- Luke, King of Kashfa, to ?

"But where does she keep her sword?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman, after Candor's hallucinations have made Morgaine appear to be naked
"She has a lot of muscle control." -- GM
"Ow." -- Jeremy Zimmerman

"You're not going to shapeshift me, you Chaos bitch!" -- Luke to ?, rapidly losing it

(The duel of the bitches.)
"While you're stunning as always, you might consider a dress." -- Candor
"What's wrong with the dress I'm wearing?" -- Morgaine
"Do you want a list?" -- Adair
"Only if I'm in the mood for something a bit more butch." -- Morgaine
"Dear, anything would be an improvement." -- Adair
"Really, this coming from someone in pastel blue. That was out a few years ago." -- Morgaine

"Look at him, man. Does he look like Bullwinkle to you?" -- Candor to ?

"You were always my favorite teacher." -- Morgaine
"And you were definitely one of my more...memorable students." -- Teacher

"Who's the well dressed gentleman who keeps coasting by with the one-liners?" -- Teacher, referring to Adair
"Oh, he's no one memorable." -- Morgaine

"Different strokes for different folks. Me, I prefer mobility, mainly because I'm important." -- Suhuy to ?

"Halloween" by Deb Atwood and Jennifer Jackson

"Halloween" in the tradition of "The Breakfast Club." In honor of the newest arrivals in Amber, Flora plans a "come as you aren't" Masque on All Hallow's Eve...surely this has to be better than detention? Except perhaps for those disturbing rumors of whispers in the dark.... Remember the rules, and never, ever go to the basement....

Cast of Characters

J.P. Brannan:Quinlan, son of Flora
Michael Denewith:Mark, son of Random
Kris Fazzari:Bridget, daughter of Brand
Alex Karls:Arigail, son of Finndo
Valerie Kessler:Shira, daughter of Marian (an Amber noble) and an unknown Royal
Sarah Kindred:Matthew, son of Flora
Blake Moorcroft:Cameron, one of Caine's men
Bonnie Roe:Taja, daughter of an unknown Royal
Brian Stanley:Chastity, daughter of Brand
Jennifer Stanley:Isabelle, daughter of Benedict

"Oh, come on, I walked the Pattern high! Random's gonna be proud of me!" -- Mark to GM

"(The party's) come as you aren't, so I'm not high." -- Mark to the group

"My costume is that I'm eight feet tall and made of cream cheese." -- Quinlan to the group

"If you've had the pleasure of seeing the Brittany Spears video, that's what Chastity looks like." -- Brian Stanley
"Pleasure is kind of a loose term here." -- Sarah Kindred
"So is Chastity." -- Kris Fazzari

"Damn, (Alyx) beat me to (the drinks)." -- Mark to the group
"That's OK, you share a brain, you share the inebriation." -- Kris Fazzari

"Let me know if anything interesting happens. I'll expect a full report in the morning." -- Caine
"Yes sir." <pause, while Caine leaves> "Asshole." -- Cameron

"You know, if all of the elders leave, this could turn into a pretty fun party." -- Mark to the group

"We didn't set fire to Bleys. We set fire near Bleys." -- Shira to ?

"Chastity's been getting around rather less than you'd expect." -- Brian Stanley
"Ran out of condoms, huh?" -- Kris Fazzari

"Pick a location for stabbing pain." -- GM Deb to GM Jenn
"I don't know what that's about, but it doesn't sound good." -- Valerie Kessler

"I'm not listening, I'm not listening, I'm not listening..." -- Kris Fazzari, ducking in and out of the room
"You see three bodies." -- GM Deb to the players in the room
"Oh, I caught that!" -- Kris Fazzari

"Everything looks fine, except a drumstick has been skewered through (Corwin's) jugular." -- GM Deb
"What kind of drumstick?" -- Quinlan
"It's just a drumstick drumstick." -- GM Deb
"But a regular drumstick or a poultry drumstick?" -- Shira
"Is Random the suspect, or is Gérard?" -- Quinlan

"The party's dead." -- GM Deb
"That has a new connotation, you realize." -- Cameron

"Florimel smiles sweetly." -- GM Deb
"Even with the color drained from her face." -- J.P. Brannan
"Which really lends itself to the street-rat thing." -- Blake Moorcroft
"Florimel as Eponine. That's just disturbing." -- Valerie Kessler

"For the observant, I have Greyswandir strapped to my back under my jacket." -- Shira to the group
"Well, there's another dead one." -- Bridget

"Nobody got a message saying, 'Never leave your body,' did they?" -- Mark to the group

"Come with us if you want to live." -- Matthew
"I'm living quite well right now, thank you." -- Lance, the rather naked
"Not for long, if you don't come through. Bring a sheet." -- Matthew

"What's going on?" -- Sebastian, Julian's son
"We're having a little problem." -- Matthew
"OK..." -- Sebastian
"Consider yourself temporarily in charge of Arden." -- Matthew

"As for Fiona and Mom, well, they knew the risks, and I like my brain on the inside of my head." -- Matthew to the group

"Is (Flora's) body more than five feet away from me?" -- Quinlan
"Yes. It would be bad if the body suddenly turned into a bunch of butterflies." -- GM Deb

"I'm going to walk (the weird looking Pattern)." -- Shira
"No you're not." -- Bridget
"We don't think Benedict's fragile mental state can handle (someone going up in flames) right now, and we have to protect him." -- Chastity

"It's a group Brand call." -- GM ?
"This is the one time everybody wants to talk to Brand." -- Blake Moorcroft

"If this follows standard horror movie procedure, we should see a manifestation of the evil thing soon." -- Bridget
"And people pay to see these things? For entertainment?" -- Shira

"(Cameron) is Caine's trusted man? OK, we should still kill him." -- Brian Stanley to the group

"So the shapeshifting killer is in the room, we think. He's a shapeshifter, he could be the door." -- Bridget to the group

"Group teleport to Gérard's location." -- Quinlan
"Are you taking everybody? Including the limp Benedict and the naked lady?" -- GM Deb

"First we get the group amoeba teleports, then the group Benedict feel-good hug, then the group beat-the-bad-guy-up, and now the conga line through Matthew's brian." -- Blake Moorcroft
"You know, the family that plays together, stays together." -- Sarah Kindred

"I'm holding Samuel's little astral hand." -- Matthew to GM Deb
"Don't do that, the GM's being dramatic." -- GM Jenn
"Not anymore." -- Blake Moorcroft

"Where are the prisoners?" -- Cameron
"There is a pile of ash where the Chaosian was." -- GM Deb

"And in an unusual display of emotion, Benedict envelops Samuel in a hug." -- GM Deb
"Awwwwww!" -- everyone

"Hey, if Pops is dead, do I get his stuff?" -- Mark to the group

"Hey, stabbing people through a Trump contact is a family tradition." -- Sarah Kindred to the group
"Not yet it isn't." -- GM Deb

"Heroes of Fightin' Magic" by Mark Phoenix Gibbs

The EVENTS of the first 5 novels proceeded as written. Motivations, conversations, and fine detail may differ.

You wouldn't have a clue about the second series. You weren't in Amber for it. You see, you were all born in the years following the Patternfall war. Some time within the first two years of your life, long before you have any concrete recollection of events, your parent gave you into Benedict's care.

That's right, you were ALL raised by Benedict. He didn't insist on you all becoming "combat monsters," although his demeanor probably encouraged you more in that regard than you might have done in another environment. You were raised as one big family. He trained each of you to work independently, and as a team. In Magic, Pattern (those of you with it have had one BRIEF visit back to Amber at some point, talk to me), Trump (Benedict? Trump? Who knew?), and he even stood by and watched impassively (or perhaps with some MINOR disapproval) as you were instructed in the very basic abilities of shapeshifting.... Oddly enough, you never saw the same tutor more then once....

He's told you all about your parents, though. Their Noble Deeds, and Valiant Efforts in Defending Amber. The Glory of their Battles, the Gleam of Honor in their eyes, the Ring of Truth in their Voices. Frankly, you didn't think folks could be as wonderful as he made them out to be. Of course, they ARE Amberites.... Just like HE is, right?

He cares for you all, and has never failed to be there when you TRULY needed him. More recently, though.... He's seemed a though looking forward to something.

Today, he told you what.

Cast of Characters


"I want to try an experiment. Nikki, can I have a drop or two of your blood?" -- Jonathan to Nikki
<pause while Nikki gives him the blood>
"OK, I get out my summoning equipment." -- Jonathan to GM

"The compass is pointing to a skeleton in the castle." -- GM
"Does it look like anybody in particular?" -- Azaphel

"Oh dear...dre." -- Roland to ?

"So you're looting the bodies then?" -- GM
"Benedict didn't teach me any morals." -- Jonathan

"Oh...oh...I just had the nastiest thought, but you wouldn't like it, so I won't say it." -- Jonathan
"Did you say that out loud?" -- Cecil

"Maybe you push it open!" -- Jade to the group, after the number one character in strength unsuccessfully tries to pull a door open

"Can I use you for just a moment?" -- Azaphel to Nikki

"I collapse in the middle of the Pattern." -- Nikki
"Is there room for that?" -- Azaphel
"Well, Merlin did make love in the middle of the Pattern." -- GM
"Good, I'm petite, I can do that." -- Nikki

"A Night in the Forest" by John Davies

Ah, the halcyon days of childhood. When the trees seemed to stretch up to touch the sky and the summers were endless. These are your days now when as a child you have nary a care in the world, the machinations of adults are irrelevant and life is simply for fun. You are so excited; Uncle Julian has suddenly announced that he is taking you on a camping trip into Forest Arden. This will be a Great Adventure. But why do your parents seem so worried these days and why are they so anxious that you go on this camping trip? This is a game for the young children of Amber, aged between eight and twelve years old.

Cast of Characters

Steve Ainsworth:Vostag, son of Flora
Sol Foster:Herne, son of Gérard
Chris Kindred:Oliver, son of Caine
Jill Pritts:Adela, daughter of Random and Vialle
Jenn Woelke:Rhiannon, daughter of Julian

"Okay, Blimp Boy." -- GM
"Dread Pirate Blimp Boy, to you." -- Oliver

"Dad's coming back. I mean, everytime Mom wanted him to take out the trash, he faked his own death." -- Oliver to ?

"There is no truth to the rumor that when it's nap time, (Oliver) fakes his own death." -- Chris Kindred to the group

"The Unicorn only comes out if you're good girls and boys." -- Julian to the children

"You see two blood-red eyes on the edge of the clearing." -- GM
"I get out my lacrosse net." -- Verance

"Did you turn the fire off?" -- Sol Foster to ?

"There are going to be no monsters." -- Julian
"I thought this was supposed to be a fun camping trip!" -- Vostag

"I've got incriminating drawings of you..." -- Oliver to ?

"We'll never have these problems once I get the blimp." -- Oliver to ?, musing on life when he grows up.

"This is why Chaos lost the war. They trained to fight children. They never expected Benedict and Bleys." -- Oliver to ?

Slot 3

"A Common Disaster" by Deb Atwood

The Pattern is dimmed and Shadow becomes dreams walk during the day? "A Common Disaster" continues...

Cast of Characters

Robert Bergeron:Gabriel, son of Corwin
Andy Blija:Ben, parentage unknown
Keith Cripe:Hawk, son of Gérard
Bridgette Ruggles:Rhiannon, daughter of Julian
Brian Stanley:Brendon, son of Deirdre
Jennifer Stanley:Izzy, protégé of Dworkin

"We've had other problems." -- Rhiannon
"Like what?" -- Gabriel
"Standing." -- Rhiannon

"Random, it's your brothers and some assholes." -- Gabriel to Random

"There's this tickly feeling on the back of my neck and it feels sort of Dworkiny." -- Izzy to ?

"You broke Dworkin?!" -- Random to Rhiannon

"Start from the beginning." -- Random
"Which one?" -- Rhiannon
"Start with the thing you shouldn't have done." -- Random
"Which one?" -- Rhiannon

"Long story that ended with me married." -- Random's summary of Corwin's walking Rebma's Pattern

"I'm going to get dressed so I'm not doing this naked." -- Gabriel to ?

"I'm so glad Brendon isn't there to hear that Rhiannon's in charge of all reality." -- Brian

"And as Rhiannon walks the Pattern, cursing in about 20 different languages, non-stop the entire route..." -- ?

"Rhiannon curses the One True Curse of which all others are but Shadow." -- Brian to ?

(Passing through the Final Veil...those last three steps...)
"Step one" -- GM
"I curse Random." -- Rhiannon
"Step two" -- GM
"I curse Gabriel." -- Rhiannon
"Step three" -- GM
"I curse Corwin." -- Rhiannon

"A Different Road to Amber" by Erick Wujcik

What if your character were clearly different, clearly something "Amberish," but knew only Shadow Earth? What if your character were then given Roger Zelazny's Amber books? What if you discovered that Zelazny had an "informant?" What if Corwin actually told Zelazny about Amber? One last thing.... What if your character found a letter from Corwin to Zelazny? A letter where Corwin complains about all the things that Zelazny got wrong? Your character will be one of your own design, born and raised here on Earth, at least eighty years of age.

"I step over the lines of the flaming Pattern." -- ?
"That's gonna be painful." -- ?
"Yeah, well, I'll burn my crotch if need be." -- ?
"Wow, you're one gutsy Amberite." -- ?
"Should've worn your asbestos underwear." -- ?

"Einherjar" by Sean Frost

King Random has finally cashed in his chips, and without having declared his heir. Sound like a throne war? Don't be misled. This is a horror story like Agatha Christie would not have written, or a mystery that George Romero wouldn't direct. Don't bring a character you're fond of...

Cast of Characters

Kris Fazzari:Garth, son of Julian
Guy Gascoigne-Piggford:Marcus, son of Bleys
Sarah Kindred:Gunther, son of Oberon
Ray Laura:Collin, son of Caine
Matthew Richardson:Midas, son of Mirelle
Jarrod Van Kirk:Sebastian, son of Benedict

"If there's any time Martin would like to see his father, I think it would be now." -- Vialle to Midas
"Yeah, when he's dead." -- Kris Fazzari

"Hate, spite and envy, these are the emotions of Garth and Julian." -- GM
"That's not quite true." -- Kris Fazzari
"You forgot resentment." -- Ray Laura

"Hello Benedict, have you been well?" -- Gunther
<Benedict glances at his missing arm>
"More or less." -- Benedict

"Benedict's always looking for extra hands." -- GM to the group

"Well, it's a body." -- Bleys to the remaining group, after sticking his fingers into Random's supposed ashes and licking them
"I don't want to know how he's sure of that." -- Garth to Julian

"Looks like ashes, tastes like Random." -- Kris Fazzari to the group

"I guess I'll listen to the current gossip." -- Garth
"Most of it has to do with Bleys eating Random right now." -- GM

"I think that now the family is together." -- Marcus to Vialle
"If by together you mean in one place." -- Ray Laura

"If this is one of Sean's typical games, we won't know how hosed we are until it's too late to run." -- Kris Fazzari
"I've outdone myself this time. There's nowhere to run." -- GM

"I've been around my relatives, I feel the need to kill something." -- Garth to GM

"I drift up to Random's room. Actually, not so much drift as go there quickly." -- Marcus to GM

"What we seem to have here is a localized failure to expire." -- Bleys to Garth

"I like my horse far more than I like Bleys." -- Garth to the group
"That's fair." -- Guy Gascoigne-Piggford

"So we'll be having starving, undead predators wandering around." -- Garth to Julian
"At least they'll be weak with hunger." -- Sarah Kindred
"Now you know how zombies become skeletons." -- Guy Gascoigne-Piggford

"So, what are you going to do with the dumb fuckwit?" -- GM to Marcus, referring to Martin
"Only one punishment fits that crime. The throne." -- Matthew Richardson

"Yeah, Bleys is fixing himself." -- GM to Marcus
"Oh, if only that were true." -- Kris Fazzari

"I have undead bats battering at my window. Can I come through?" -- Midas to Benedict

"There is a difference between punishment and vengeance." -- Marcus
"Yes, vengeance is much more satisfying." -- Garth

"The Great Game" by Scott Acker

High Adventure in the Amber Steam Age. You had been stationed at a key position in our supply lines during the invasion of Chaos. Too young and inexperienced to be used at the front, you cooled your heels taking care of an important but unsatisfying task. After the storm that ripped through reality after Patternfall many things were well, different. Imagine an Amber where technology is powered by steam engines, where people are civilized to one another, where dragons, magick and faerie races coexist with technological marvels, where dastardly villains and criminal masterminds plot to take over the one true world, and where the decent folk of the family thwart their every move. You are knee deep in this place from the moment you arrive. What has happened to the backstabbing, conniving people you knew and loved?

Cast of Characters

Simone Cooper:Daniel, son of Random
Randy Cox:Nichodemus, son of Fiona
Jeremy Zimmerman:Tobias, son of Flora
Chris ?:Malachi, son of Caine
Rachel ?:Orinda, daughter of Caine
Robert ?:Kendrict, mystery child
Terry O'Brien:Brigid, daughter of Fiona

"You wouldn't believe all the ways Benedict sent troops out. 'Get on the dingy!'" -- GM to ?

"(These are) the guys people take orders from." -- Rachel ? to ?, elaborating on the naval titles of Orinda and Malachi

"I thought the great Googly Moogly was the lord of the doohickies." -- Rachel ?, on Tobias' self-proclaimed title
"Damn, I've been caught!" -- Tobias

"When they're not cranky they're wearing a tux and are snotty." -- Simone Cooper to ?, commenting on surgeons

"He comes across as fairly...yeah, benign." -- GM to ?, regarding Tobias (?)

"Were there any other Shadows around here, or are we...unmoored?" -- Simone Cooper
"Yes, there are, but I don't know that you'd want to be there." -- GM
"Daniel doesn't know that this is the place to be." -- Simone Cooper

"I start digging holes to bury the dead." -- Kendrict to GM
"And here we have a perfectly fine ocean nearby." -- Rachel ?

"Sleep. You can sleep. Maybe then (Brigid) wouldn't be such a bitch." -- Simone Cooper to Terry O'Brien

"The war is over." -- Officer
"Did we win?" -- Orinda

"Were we able to get everyone on board?" -- Chris ?
"All the people in suitcases." -- Simone Cooper

"We're riding in a ship called the Shadow Storm?" -- Randy Cox
"Yes, but it survived!" -- Chris ?

"God bless bureaucracy!" -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"I'm going to have to kill you for that." -- Simone Cooper

"It would be dramatically appropriate right now for Daniel to yell from below decks, 'Does anyone have my pants?'" -- Simone Cooper to the group, as Caine is having a snit fit about everyone's uniforms

"Clothing's not something you want to fuck around with." -- GM to ?

"Amber! With rivets!" -- GM to ?

"What happened to your pants?" -- Tobias
"If I knew, I wouldn't be looking for them." -- Daniel

"You know, I'm not wearing the appropriate pants." -- Daniel to Caine

"My paperwork, and my 'I love you, Daddy' card." -- Orinda to ?, describing her delivery to Caine

"Oh, I'm sure they'd accept your word, Daddy." -- Orinda to Caine, trying to get out of quarantine

"What's this us, kemosabe?" -- Rachel ? to ?, whipping out an old standby

"Fetching, attractive, yet somehow previously absent." -- Simone Cooper to ?, on the addition of cannons in Amber

"Isn't this what we fought for? To come back here?" -- Orinda
"We're not 'back here,' we're back here!" -- Daniel

"This isn't Amber, this is pod-people Amber." -- Daniel to ?, starting a long ugly joke

"He's one of the rabble?" -- Orinda
"You're a pod!" -- Daniel

"Is it glove puppet Eric? Or normal Eric?" -- Daniel to ?

"This pod thing is starting to look more appealing." -- Simone Cooper to ?

"Or maybe this is the pathetic Pattern that any asshole can walk." <looks at Kendrict> "No offense." -- Daniel to the group, after Kendrict walked the new Pattern

"Are you a pod?" -- Tobias
"Oh, good God, no!" -- Malachi (in distinctly British tones)
"Oh, god, he's a pod." -- Tobias
"And we're here to seed you." -- Chris ?
"Ewww..." -- Rachel ?

"I'm listening, I'm just not hearing anything I want to hear." -- Daniel to ?

"We were wondering if you had a brief, comprehensible-to-non-big-enormous-headed types explanation." -- Daniel to Dworkin

"Is there some sort of litmus test? Do we all pee in a cup? How do you know we're not a threat anymore?" -- Daniel to ?

"You're some Shadow! They fucking duped me!" -- Random (we think) to Daniel, in the other room

"It features much less pods, but otherwise it's the same." -- Simone Cooper to ?

"But did I forget to mention my father is a homicidal maniac?" -- Daniel to ?

"They will bring us coffee." -- GM, about room service
"For free?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"I have guilted them into it before." -- GM

"Wakey, wakey, pod!" -- Simone Cooper to Rachel ?, as she stumbles in late

"'Escaping with the rebels' is not proper channels." -- Rachel ? to Chris ?

"I revoke your pod status!" -- Rachel ? to Chris ?

"Are there elf men?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"Well, they are fairies." -- Rachel ?

"Let's shoot straight with each other. Do you believe it?" -- Martin
"Apparently if I walk the Pattern I will. Of course, if I take the blue one..." -- Daniel, debating whether or not to walk the Pattern and get new memories

"Sorry, Black Duke sounds kind of ominous..." -- Chris ? to ?, regarding Julian's title

"How can you safely emasculate each other if there is no jazz?" -- Simone Cooper to ?

"Go on, get in touch with your inner changeling." -- Rachel ? to Terry O'Brien, about Brigid

"Do you realize (Orinda) has a bow on (her) ass?" - Simone Cooper to Rachel ?

"(Malachi) may have been crushed by falling debris." -- Simone Cooper
"That's right..." -- Rachel ?
"...we should look on the bright side." -- Simone Cooper and Rachel ?

"It's a Schroedinger Martin. He's trapped in a box with Caine." -- Simone Cooper

"I'll do the stiff upper lip thing." -- Malachi, after a pistol is fired right next to his head
"It's a shame about the pants, though." -- Daniel

"I heard you might get pinned tonight." -- Fiona to Kendrict
"I thought that happened to 16-year-old girls in the back of cars." -- Chris ?

"It's in Daniel's hands now." -- Caine to Orinda
"She blinks three times to show how much hope she has for that." -- Rachel ?

"I look at Martin. 'Don't fuck this up. I' mad.'" -- Daniel to GM, losing steam

"Coincidentally, Brand, inventor of the mechanical Q-Tip." -- Daniel to ?

"He's coming back. Now he's our asshole." -- Simone Cooper to ?, with a sentimental note in her voice

"Fiona's hot. I mean for a sister..." -- Random to ?
"He adds quickly." -- Simone Cooper

"There is death. There is betrayal. But it was civilized death and betrayal." -- Chris ? to ?, contrasting the two Ambers

"Let's do it. You challenge him to a duel. I'll hit him with bowfire from the balcony." -- Malachi to ?

"We'll just have to find things by groping about in the dark. That's how we've done things so far." -- Malachi to ?

"If I can't return to the world I am from, I can at least help the world I'm in." -- Brigid to ?
"Or at least destroy the one you're in." -- Rachel ?

"Do you know what that is?!" -- Caine, indicating the blunt, iron tipped arrow
"No, but I know it's not going to shoot very straight, which is why we need someone who's really good." -- Malachi

"Go, go Gambit Daniel!" -- Rachel ? to the group, as Daniel uses playing cards for a magic spell

"Perfection's Price" by Cathy Klessig

It is a truism in Amber that you can find anything in Shadow that you can imagine. But this means that you can never find anything perfect: your own mental limitations ensure it. Or perhaps perfection simply does not exist, being one of those abstractions we cannot define. Either way, it's out of reach. By definition, of course.

Cast of Characters

?:Princess Dianore

"He has a face of stone, that moves." -- GM
"Is that not normal?" -- Ben

"I've never seen a stone ride a fence so well." -- Princess Dianore to ?, about Bloch

"There's something weird about this guy...besides the obvious." -- GM to ?, about Bloch

"There Is No Amber Sector, Troubleshooter" by Jack Gulick and Ian Ng

A rush of cold mist glides past you as the sound of hydraulics releases you from what you know to be a prison of some sort. The room that receives you is white and sterile with blue trim. Nearby another figure emerges from a capsule similar to the one you just exited. Not another moment for thought is allowed when a booming disembodied voice welcomes you: "Bruce-B-ANR-1 and Gérard-B-RMN-1, report to I-F6 HQ for your assignment. Service to the Computer makes you happy. Happiness is mandatory. Are you happy, Troubleshooter?"

Cast of Characters


"The Emergency Troubleshooter Transport Device is really just a simple electromagnetic catapult." -- GM Jack to ?

"You forgot to dot the 'i'" -- Violet clearance troubleshooter
"I'm not cleared for the i." -- BRUCE-B-ANR-1

"MAND-O-RRR-7. Is that an authorized clone number?" -- ?

"You never walk up and scare someone with a gun." -- MAND-O-RRR-2
"Especially not yourself. You know how you'd react." -- MAND-O-RRR-3

"The Wizard in the Attic" by Paul Weimer

It is fifty years after Patternfall, a Patternfall somewhat different than the one you are familiar with. The Ultimate Enemy, she who would have destroyed and remade the universe in her own image, was the incredibly evil and dangerous Princess Fiona. Sadly, her far more noble brother Bleys sacrificed his own life, at the end, to stop her there at the edge of the Abyss, in the only way possible, by knocking her, and himself, into the Abyss. This left only Brand as the last of the three redheaded children of Oberon. Somewhat kooky, but, still, Amber's most powerful sorcerer, he is a popular and important figure in the Castle, however eccentric he might be. Remember the time he magically painted the outside walls of the Castle red and green for the Winter Solstice Festival? Now, in the peace of King Random's reign, Prince Brand, the wizard of Castle Amber, has been acting even more unusual and dare we say, unstable, than usual recently. Is he going mad? Or is some enemy to blame? What exactly is going wrong with the Wizard in the Attic?

Cast of Characters

Matt Sullivan:Festive

"I'm a jester, I'm not a fool." -- Festive to ?, when asked if he wants to enter Brand's laboratory

"Yes, dear sister. The vagaries of time and space are, as" -- Scipio to ?

Slot 4

"Empire of the Gleaming Banner-Trump Tempest" by R.F. McCaughey

Dramatic Events in Darrheabarr move on. Power shifts in the Imperial Palace. Agents of Amber have been seen in the streets of the Sunwashed City. Important people have gone missing. Trump Artists are being drowned. The Chaosian ambassador arrives to invite a select group of Imperials to the Courts of Chaos for King Merlin's wedding. Then a strange message arrives from Chaos that may put the Empire and Chaos at War!

Cast of Characters

?:Advocate Rhaki
?:Lord Suzzare

"Humility is not something I myself practice, but is something I encourage in others." -- Lord Suzzare to Advocate Rhaki

"Gen Con ShadowKnight Campaign" by Erick Wujcik

The original Shadow Knight Campaign, originally started way back when at Gen Con.

Cast of Characters

Phil Brady:Holden
John English:Percival
Erik Florentz:Rhodry
Dave Lyon:Seiji
Karen Moreno:Teal

"The amount of Shadowstorm energy required to destroy one Shadow will be defined as one Dworkin." -- Holden, Rhodry and Seiji
"Definition noted." -- Construct
"Now, how big is the Shadowstorm that's coming?" -- Holden, Rhodry and Seiji
"Ten to the nineteen hundred and twelfth (10^1912) power Dworkins." -- Construct

"Ill Met in Amber" by Chris Kindred

This is the city: a hotbed of intrigue, magic, swashbuckling adventure, and intrigue. It's a good place to live. And an easy place to die. A game of swashbuckling noir.

Cast of Characters

Keith Cripe:Hawk, Captain of the City Guard
Andy Dawson:Harrek, thug-for-hire
Sol Foster:Sean O'Donovan, Captain in the Royal Navy
Jennifer Jackson:Elyssa Darcy, the jeweler of which all other jewelers are Shadow
Michael Kucharski:Nicholas van Alikki, farm boy a la D'Artagnan
Blake Moorcroft:Morgan DeChastellan, Cardinal of the Church of the Unicorn
Michael Schloss:Dane, Captain of the City Guard
Scott Whitney:Maximillian Feldane, seventh son of a seventh son
Jeremy Zimmerman:Sir Reginald "Reggie" Bayle

"So, (Sean's) the honorable captain. (He's) like Kermit the Frog in Muppet Island." -- John Davies to Sol Foster

"Mind if we sacrifice fudge to the Tiki?" -- Sol Foster
"Fudge for the Tiki! Fudge of the Tiki!" -- Blake Moorcroft

"We figured it said 'Free Rebma' so it was even better." -- John Davies
"Typically it's just 'Cheap Rebma.'" -- Scott Whitney

"How horrifyingly domestic." -- Scott Whitney to the group, watching Jennifer Jackson cross-stitch a bib

"I don't mind if you sit in my lap, but you still can't see my character sheet." -- Scott Whitney to Jennifer Jackson

"His name's Dane, but his other name is Hamlet." -- Blake Moorcroft, punning horribly about Michael Schloss' character
*GROAN* -- everyone
"Omlet, Pans of Denmark!" -- Scott Whitney, quoting the Karamozov Brothers

"I'm not a farm boy! I'm a swordsman!" -- Michael Kucharski, speaking as Nicholas
"No, he's the Dread Pirate Roberts." -- Scott Whitney
"I'M THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS!" -- Michael Kucharski
"Oh, I get it. He's a pathological liar." -- Scott Whitney

"As you who read the e-mail know, some ambassadors are coming to town." -- GM
"Yes, and all the references to intrigue have been replaced by wenching." -- Scott Whitney

"I don't mean to scare you, but the same person has top rank in Strength and Endurance." -- GM
"Victory is mine!" -- Scott Whitney
"No! It's the person who bought no powers." -- Blake Moorcroft, indicating Jennifer Jackson
"Are you kidding? She bought 100 points of Good Stuff!" -- Scott Whitney

"So are you expecting a kid, or is this for a friend?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman, asking Jennifer Jackson about the bib
"Actually, I have one upstairs. We can bring it down here and share." -- Jennifer Jackson, responding to a different question

"Before I torture Sol..."
"While I torture Sol..."
"...while you're doing that, I'll torture Sol."
"I'm going to go back and torture Sol..."
    -- GM, repeatedly throughout the first five minutes of play

"Hey, don't make fun of little Nicky Alikki!" -- Scott Whitney to ?

"I'm top ranked in Stuff, too, right?" -- Scott Whitney
"Yes." -- GM
"VENGENCE IS MINE!" -- Scott Whitney
"I thought it was 'victory?'" -- Sol Foster
"It was." -- Scott Whitney

"Sol, I paid 10 points to have (the GM) give you 10 Bad Stuff." -- Scott Whitney to Sol Foster

"Swashbuckling-noir, comedy nightly, dark humor on Wednesdays." -- GM
"I thought this was the gay game..." -- Michael Kucharski
"Oh, crap. I'm in the wrong game!" -- Jeremy Zimmerman (switching to Adair mode)
"And here you took exalted wenching. Boy are you going to look stupid." -- Scott Whitney

"You've been gratuitously redecorated by Flora." -- Scott Whitney to Sol Foster
"You've been Floradated!" -- Blake Moorcroft

"I've got Weird Stuff..." -- Sol Foster to ?

"Actually, your place is as clean as it would be if your servants actually showed up." -- GM
"I should hire these thieves!" -- Sean

"You're not noticing anything missing. In fact, you have more stuff than before. You now have throw pillows." -- GM to Sean

"Redecorating with intent." -- Scott Whitney to ?

"I'll set a trap! I'll mess up the house and hide in a closet!" -- Sean to the group

"Why wasn't the lawn taken care of?" -- Sol Foster
"Because these are interior decorators." -- Michael Schloss

"The usual bills, 'You may already be an Amberite'..." -- GM to Sean, describing his mail

"You know his dryer is full of socks." -- Andy Dawson
"And none of them match." -- Scott Whitney

"'People are going around redecorating. Solve it.'
'It's annoying Flora.'"
    -- GM to ?, paraphrasing Random

"Best Chinese laundry in all of Shadow. One point personal Shadow. It's Flora's." -- GM to ?

"This takes a while because he's as slow as a glacier." -- GM to ?, regarding a doddering servant at the castle
"He sold down from Human Rank." -- Sol Foster
"He needed the points to buy Advanced Muttering." -- Scott Whitney

"You people..." -- Jennifer Jackson
"Hey, what about those of us who aren't people?" -- Scott Whitney

"I have to keep my wits about me. I might get throw-pillowed." -- Scott Whitney to ?

"Incest pays in Amber." -- Andy Dawson
"If you get caught, it pays with interest." -- Scott Whitney

"Being the Captain of the Guard of the seamy side of town..." -- GM to Hawk
"'re sound asleep and well bribed." -- Scott Whitney

"Three at once!" -- Michael Kucharski, on (Nicholas') plans to duel tonight
"I thought it was three back to back..." -- Sol Foster
"I want to get it done as soon as possible." -- Michael Kucharski

"You know, there were throw pillow size swatches cut out of his clothes, and all his hair was gone." -- Andy Dawson to ?, about a murder

"Sorry, no one wanted to play the forensic pathologist." -- GM
"Scully, after everything you've seen, how can you doubt the existence of the Courts of Chaos?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman

"All in the same area?" -- Keith, asking about the murders
"All in the suck side of town." -- GM

"You know, your character's Celtic. What your people know as throw pillows, others know as severed heads." -- Andy Dawson to ?

"You've got an infestation of Aztecs!" -- Sol Foster
"Just get a spray for them. They'll be gone in about a week." -- Scott Whitney

"And now I eat the Unicorn! That's my Dworkin moment for the evening." -- GM to ?

"It's half empty! It's half full! It's twice as large as it needs to be!" -- Scott Whitney to ?

"He actually needs a pillowmancer." -- Andy Dawson to ?

<Maximillian bows to the Unicorn Church Cardinal, using his index finger as a horn>
"If only that was quotable." -- Jeremy Zimmerman

"There's not a drop of liquor in his house. You've been robbed by prohibitionist redecorators." -- GM to Sean

"Sol, hold the GM like a hostage." -- Scott Whitney to Sol Foster

"They buy most of their wine from us." -- Reggie Bayle
"Theirs must be awful..." -- Dane

"So, do you want to go somewhere later?" -- the entirety of Reginald's first eight attempts at luring off Elyssa after the party

"Didn't you have a girlfriend a week ago?" -- Elyssa
"But that was a whole week ago..." -- Reggie
"Why don't you have her now?" -- Elyssa
"She caught me in bed with someone else." -- Reggie

"I think we ought to know each other better." -- Reggie, still trying to lure off Elyssa
"But I know you Reggie." -- Elyssa
"I mean religiously." -- Reggie
"But I'm not religious..." -- Elyssa
"Neither am I." -- Reggie, smiling

"Care to go out for dinner tomorrow night?" -- Maximillian, after Reggie's failed attempts
"Sure." -- Elyssa

"What was the name of Bloody Thom's before Thom was killed?" -- GM
<various suggestions are made>
"Bloody Sol's! No, wait! Three-eyed Sol's!" -- GM, answering his own question
"Recurring jokes! Gotta love 'em." -- Scott Whitney

"So, you've hired the farm boy to investigate the heinous crime?" -- GM to ?
"It's an absurd crime. Why change the trend now?" -- Scott Whitney
"I guess they need to do some pillow talk." -- Andy Dawson

"No, no. It's bureaucrats. It will be red tape at 30 yards." -- Scott Whitney to ?

"The yard's a crime scene because they didn't mow the lawn? What?!" -- Scott Whitney to ?

"I'm presuming the house is still there?" -- Maximillian
"Actually, I have a funny story about that." -- GM

"My overstuffed chair has had it's head bit off and it's heart torn out. There's stuffing everywhere!" -- Maximillian to ?

"Go check my sofa. See if my throw pillows are missing." -- Maximillian to GM, after discovering a large quantity of imported booze in his home

"Send a servant over to Captain O'Donovan, let him know he misplaced his alcohol in my pantry." -- Maximillian to GM

"Miss Covington's School for Girls" by Carol Dodd

Cast of Characters

Michele Spainhour:?
Rae Williams:Fidelity

"Who will I piss off if I do this?" -- Fidelity
"Everybody." -- Thomas
<Fidelity steps on the Pattern>

"Fidelity has ticked off a lot of people at Covington today." -- Rae Williams
"How much can we pay her to do it all the time?" -- Michele Spainhour

"Sins of the Father" by Chris Salzer

The children of House Barimen have washed ashore on the lands once known as Amber. A desolate wasteland with few survivors. Will their heritage haunt them, bringing even further strife upon House Barimen? Does one forsake the past for the future or find their future within the past?

"You can tell Benedict is concentrating - his eyebrow is raised." -- ?

"You see Benedict's leg." -- GM
"Is it attached to anything?" -- ?

"We're rebuilding Amber..." -- ?
"One freaky fairy cottage at a time!" -- GM

"The Swayvill Letters" by Simone Cooper

Action/adventure plus accidental human sacrifice, lace doilies, and frog fear. Put on your hip waders and come on down! This game was written by Jason Durall.

Cast of Characters

Steve Ainsworth:Thorne
Rain Donaldson:Darnitt
Kris Fazzari:Kala
Joe Filippini:Nergal
Darrell Hischke:Whisper
Ian Ng:Cryer
Matthew Richardson:Konradin

"Why be mediocre in one thing when you could be bad in many things?" -- Rain Donaldson to the group

"Are you a speaking frog?" -- GM to Darnitt

"The large group of frogs following (Whisper) are trying to be inconspicuous." -- Darnitt to GM

"That wouldn't look suspicious, an old man with a bag of frogs." -- Matthew Richardson to the group

"So I'll keep a bag of frogs with me." -- Thorne to GM

"The mating cry of Abyss-flying gulls sounds a lot like dogs barking." -- GM to Cryer

"We shall buy demons at the mall." -- Whisper to the other demons

"What is a bag lady?" -- Kala
"It is a woman with a shopping cart that she pushes around." -- Whisper
"So this shopping cart enables the bag lady to remain invisible?" -- Kala
"No, her status falls so low that no one will see her." -- Whisper
"Could we hide her in (Merlin's) apartment?" -- Konradin

"Is the crow making cooing noises?" -- Kala
"Don't pervert the crow." -- GM

"I'm going to take a pack of dogs and a frog, and follow the agent of Order." -- Thorne to GM

"We should leave a message on his answering machine. 'Merlin Sawall, your roommate is an agent of Order, cease and desist immediately.'" -- Konradin
"I don't think that would count as following the anonymous and subtle part of our instructions." -- Kala
"Well, we'd be following the anonymous part." -- Konradin

"(A skunk) is not one of the more common forms." -- Nergal
"Perhaps you can carry me and I will become a snake." -- Darnitt

"It's actually quite hard to get killed in this city during the day. In the end you have to abandon Bob to a mild beating." -- GM to Whisper

"No, I think there will be someone else who will be suspected of Bob's death." -- GM
"Like who? The person who several people saw killing him on the street?" -- Whisper and Kala

"If we let Merlin get killed, we're going to be in so much trouble." -- Nergal
"Quick, take over Merlin's body. It will be years before they find out." -- Konradin

"So Merlin's apartment has exploded and now is filling with wildlife?" -- Kris Fazzari
"Yes, because everyone knows that in order to attract wildlife, you have to blow up your apartment." -- GM

"What are you going to shift into?" -- GM
"A rat." -- Cryer
"You're already a rat, so this will be easy." -- GM
"This is a dangerous rat." -- Cryer

"We leave big holes behind, but we are subtle." -- Cryer
"Hey, the holes weren't our fault." -- Darnitt

"Are you friends of Merlin?" -- Julia Barnes
"Well, we admire Merlin from afar." -- Konradin
"Like snipers." -- Julia Barnes

"Welcome to the Greenwood" by John Schleick and Crew

Somewhere in New England there is a private hospital. Within this private hospital there is a special ward. Within this special ward the insane are kept. The insane kept here all share a particular delusion. This particular delusion is the belief in a mythical realm. This mythical realm is called...Amber.

Cast of Characters

?:Bill Roth
?:John Doe (Osric)

"No! You're not supposed to eat it! If you turn it into a dish, you can pick up Chaos radio stations." -- Bill Roth to John Doe (Osric)

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to whistle my banana at him." -- Bill Roth to ?

Slot 5

"Ancient Amber" by Michael Kucharski

Steve Ainsworth:Thorne, son of ?
Chris Kindred:Brennan, son of ?
Chris Maxom:Derrick, son of ?
Mark Wizynajtys:Roland, son of ?
Jenn Woelke:Gwendolyn, daughter of Oberon

"(Roland) has advanced fashion imprint." -- Chris Kindred to ?

[...discussing Roland]
"You stuff things..." -- Steve Ainsworth
"Shirts." -- Chris Maxom

"After the wedding, you'll be introduced to your new kingdom. We will, of course, have to populate it." -- Oberon, on the night before his wedding to Julinar
"I hope you don't mean you and I...." -- Gwendolyn

"(The GM) can't get the order of succession right on the floor - much less in the game..." -- ?

"Oh come on, can't I think?" -- Chris Maxom
"No - you're Gwendolyn." -- Jenn Woelke

"Stop being so brow-beaten." -- Jenn Woelke
"No, I refuse." -- Mark Wizynajtys

"I am expecting to go to war (with Chaos) within a week." -- Oberon to ?
"That will only be 10 more game years." -- Steve Ainsworth

"Is it long enough? Well, now it is..." -- Thorne to ?, speaking of his staff/sword/dagger

"You've got a boyfriend." -- Brennan
"No, I don't. I have a tool." -- Gwendolyn
"How's that different?" -- Brennan

"And the Children Shall Lead" by Jack Kessler and Karen Groves

Cast of Characters

Deb Atwood:Amery, daughter of Caine
J.P. Brannan:Meghan, daughter of Caine
Felicia Olson:Gabrielle
Scott Olson:Boran of Hendrake
Brian Stanley:Brendon of Bearn, son of Bleys and Fiona
Scott Whitney:Michael, son of Caine

"It's dead. At least that's what my mother said. She's dead too." -- Gabrielle to ?

"I'm the ditzy half of Amery's brain." -- Felicia Olson
"That's scary. That implies Amery has some sense." -- Deb Atwood

"The Pattern's dead and it has a sense of humor." -- Amery to ?

"So when you say 'icky', you mean Caine?!" -- GM Karen to Felicia Olson

"He's dead." -- GM Karen
"This actually sort of bothers me, even if he did try to take my head off once." -- Amery

"You want to go hug Random." -- GM Jack to Boran

"That's the thing. We weren't supposed to be toys." -- The Things that Bind

"If she asks, we're out talking to clothing." -- GM Jack to ?

"What is it about Fiona's body that makes everyone want to wear it?" -- Deb Atwood to ?

"We're learning too much. It's time to leave." -- Brendon to ?

"Yes." <Pause> "What was the question?" -- Michael to ?

"Blaze of Glory 4" by Sol Foster

Bleys' private Shadow is a playground of swashbuckling adventure. Now a mad inventor must be reined in before he tips the balance of power.

Cast of Characters

Anne Devlin:Marian Ravenwood
Kris Fazzari:Lorianne, AKA "The Pirate Queen"
Joe Filippini:Otto Fromm
Sean Frost:Rámon
R.F. McCaughey:Yves St. Laurant-Seaway
Jill Pritts:Bridget O'Malley
Andy Ransom:Lewis Mercer, AKA "The Spider"
Cal Rea:Philippe
Matthew Richardson:Maggie O'Donnell, AKA "The Flying Nun"
Wendi Strang-Frost:Eddie
Jeff Trumitch:Westley, AKA "The Dread Pirate Roberts"
Liz Trumitch:Jayne Green, AKA "Plain Jayne"
Bill Gulstad:Cyrano Savinien Hercule de Bergerac
Cal Westray:Amos Hunter

"You don't realize how serious this mission is for Philippe. Not only is his arch-enemy involved, but there's a potential monopoly of all the world's wine!" -- Philippe to the group

"Can I have the high chair?" -- Sean Frost
"That's appropriate." -- Anne Devlin

"Philippe is a good stuff character. How can you tell? He's always covered in petro-chemicals, carrying alcohol, working with aviation fuel and carrying a cigar, and he's still alive." -- Cal Rea to the group

"Sir, you are good for only one thing, and that's taking your clothes off so that I may set them aflame." -- Jayne to Philippe

"I do not send my men into battle without me, like some people do." -- Jayne
"She doesn't bring her men out of battle like most people do, either." -- Westley

"The small, small land of Bergerac." -- GM
"Which must be free!" -- Cyrano
"It is free!" -- Philippe

"I am not just any fool. I am Rámon." -- Rámon to the group

"Somehow, I motivate men to give their lives." -- Jayne to the group

"There is one woman here who can outdrink me now. That is the one woman I must pursue." -- Philippe to the group

"I know I'm good at something, I just can't remember what." -- Rámon to the group

"We could practice (using the crew launcher) with cows (instead of Rámon)." -- Maggie
"Why would you waste such an intelligent creature?" -- GM

"I'm still working on piloting the sub, but I've learned how to close the hatch." -- Eddie to the group

"What would we do with the submarine on dry land?" -- Lorianne
"We'll roll it downhill over the enemy troops." -- Jayne

"So we're going to have a sail-powered, rail-based submarine?" -- Kris Fazzari
"Eddie and Philippe are bonding." -- Wendi Strang-Frost

"This flying, it's not right, it's not for men." -- Rámon
"Then you should have no problem." -- Jayne

"I can do underwater work, what do you want me to do?" -- Maggie
"Go to the bottom and watch to make sure we don't drop any important tools." -- Eddie

"I suppose even Rámon cannot miss something as large as Europe." -- Cyrano
"I don't know, he managed to lose the Spanish Main." -- Marian

"Aren't there any horses on board?" -- Jayne
"No!" -- Lorianne
"Oh, OK, I'll just stand on Rámon." -- Jayne

"You should name your sub after the first man who stole your heart." -- Philippe
"I will name it the 'Philippe.'" -- Eddie
"That explains why she has so much trouble keeping it up." -- Sean Frost

"I will give the Spider 'Dominique.' I tell him to take good care of her." -- Philippe to GM, referring to one of his planes
"Of course he will, it's his way out when the mission fails." -- Kris Fazzari

"I know what a good pair of breasts look like, so I can embellish (Jayne's image on the sub)." -- Bridget to the group

"And we miss the assault because we can't find a train." -- Sean Frost to the group

"But Rámon's deepest disappointment will be that when he is disguised as himself, no one recognizes him." -- Cyrano to the group

"Crappy beaches." -- Philippe, in a thick French accent
"Crappy bitches?" -- Bridget
"No, crappy beaches, the place where the land comes to the shore." -- Philippe

"Jayne wanted to board the first car, kick everyone else off, then unhook all the other cars." -- Kris Fazzari
"That's more subtle than her usual plans." -- Liz Trumitch

"We could disguise the train as a bucolic French countryside." -- Philippe to the group

"Why do you have a nun on board?" -- French official
"She's trying to save our souls." -- Lorianne
"John, confession, john, confession." -- Wendi Strang-Frost
"Bless me father for I have sinned, it has been 45 minutes since my last confession." -- Anne Devlin

"You see a man uncoupling the train cars." -- GM
"I jump on him. This is going to hurt." -- Rámon

"When in doubt, throw a Spaniard at him." -- Sean Frost to the group

"So, what would happen in that situation?" -- GM
"(Rámon and the man) both fall under the wheels and go splat." -- Jeff Trumitch
"That would be a win-win situation." -- Bill Gulstad

"I have a 30 disguise, I can look better than you." -- Rámon to Lorianne
"I doubt that." -- Westley
"You have not seen me in a dress." -- Rámon
"It would be hard to pick you out with the beard." -- Westley
"In France? Yes!" -- Rámon

"Rámon, you're starting to lose your grip." -- GM
"I lost that many years ago." -- Rámon

"I can't believe we should have listened to Jayne. Who knew?" -- Rámon to the group

"I grab Rámon and yank the front half of him up, so if he has to lose something it will be his legs." -- Jayne to GM

"Otto is the master of disguise, he is the essence of a Frenchman." -- GM to the group
"Oh, is that what that smell is?" -- R.F. McCaughey

"We strap the glider on the nun and launch her." -- Eddie to GM

"I become a whirlwind of unfashionable black death." -- Westley to the group

"Next time, I won't wear the nun costume." -- Maggie to the group
"It's the flying nun." -- Kris Fazzari and Sean Frost, in unison
"I think you just got your nickname." -- Cal Rea

"Maybe demolitions and medical should be two new skills." -- Cal Rea
"Yes, yes they should." -- Jeff Trumitch

"So we have a stretched and squished Rámon." -- GM
"And a sore but excited flying nun." -- Matthew Richardson

"I don't understand this decision you're giving (the prisoners). Join us or die. It's the same thing." -- Rámon to Jayne

"We can take the bodies on the train." -- Jayne
"I hope this trip doesn't last too long." -- Cyrano

"We've got them right where we want them." -- R.F. McCaughey
"We're in between them." -- Sean Frost
"We have surrounded ourselves." -- R.F. McCaughey

"They killed an innocent train." -- Rámon to the group

"Fifteen minutes is enough time to shuck a nun...costume." -- Matthew Richardson
"You've gotta drop that habit." -- Jeff Trumitch

"We all know that Spain is smaller than it boasts of being." -- Cyrano
"That is a vicious lie!" -- Rámon

"I'd rather fall to my death than drown." -- Otto to the group

"(Maggie's) a Jayne's Shark wannabe." -- Wendi Strang-Frost
"No, she's who Jayne's Sharks want to be." -- Cal Rea

"I think my favorite moment was when Rámon was holding the train cars together." -- Kris Fazzari
"It had to be Rámon. He's a master at coupling." -- Sean Frost

"Philippe, the land-torpedo, has exploded." -- Cal Rea to the group

"What you do not realize is that I am Rámon, disguised as an Englishman." -- Yves to the Spaniard, Rámon's enemy

"It's not worth it, his wife was not very good." -- Rámon to Yves

"You killed my enemy. Now I have to kill you." -- Rámon to Yves

"We're inside the Zeppelin. Don't set it on fire!" -- Philippe
"We don't know that." -- Lorianne
"I have good stuff!" -- Philippe

"I can't even take (my enemy) badly burned." -- Rámon to GM

"The Construct Wants YOU!!!" by Blake Moorcroft

Good Morning Citizen. This is your 5:00 a.m. automatic wake up call. Are we all productive and happy citizens of Begma Habitat, doing your utmost to protect Begma Habitat from the evil Amber Patternites that would destroy your friend, the Construct? That's good. It must be just a coincidence that you look like one of the hated arch-enemies. And that you're thinking treasonous thoughts of destroying the Construct. Must have been those six bottle of Bouncy Bubble Beverage you consumed last night...

Cast of Characters


"I just shot a superweapon. We're going to have to do more tests!" -- Caine to ?

"I can last for hours and hours. That's why I need high endurance." -- Flora to ?

"We can put Flora out front when we shoot. We know she comes back." -- Deirdre to ?

"There is much in you to be exploited." -- Tech to Flora
"I've always thought so!" -- Corwin

"If I knew what was going on, would I be here?!?" -- Flora to Corwin

"A Ghost of a Chance" by Rae Williams

"I've heard that tune somewhere before, but I can't remember when. Was it on some other friendly shore? Did I hear it on the wind? Was it written in the stars above? I think I heard it from someone I love, but I never heard it sound so sweet before." A mystery.

"He's trying to burn rubber, and the rubber's melted." -- GM to ?, describing a 90-year-old city resident

Slot 6

"Five Sides to Every Story" by R.F. McCaughey

Mystery and missing information dominate this puzzle. Why is everything in Castle Amber so quiet? Why have you woken in a room you can't recognize? Where is everyone? Why can't you remember? In fact, who the hell are you? Roleplay from scratch a must. Can you start with nothing and come out all right?

Cast of Characters

Nicole Amendolara:Rinaldo
Val Conder:Bleys
Rick Garman:Vialle
Bonnie Roe:Random
Paul Weimer:Fiona

"Remind me. I want to kill Aspirin Man later!" -- Random to Vialle

"This is why Bleys is a bad stuff character." -- Nicole Amendolara to the group, after Bleys' head has been smashed into the wall a third time

"Warm, comforting Fiona? Now that's a contradiction." -- Paul Weimer to ?

"You're Fiona. You're pissed." -- GM to ?

"The Friend of the Lonely and the Laughing Stranger" by John Davies

There are strange goings-on at the Greenwood Private Hospital. "Book yourself in for a rest," said your family. "You need it," they said, and then booked you in against your will. Now they won't let you out. "For your own good," say your family; "dangerously mad," whisper the staff when they look at you. Well, at least the food is good. But strange things are going on here. Who is the mysterious Mr. Corey recently booked in? And who is this "Friend of Lonely" that the staff whisper about? And more importantly, who is the Laughing Stranger you see in your dreams? A tale of Amber insanity.

Cast of Characters

Anne Delekta:Jeannie (mad architect)
Sean Frost:Ollie (mad writer)

"I am an architect. Architects do not rub sticks together to make fire." -- Jeannie to ?, on why she can't light her cigarette in Arden

"Are you still a yes-man?" -- Jeannie
"Nope." -- Ollie
"Do you have a light?" -- Jeannie (hopefully)
"Nope." -- Ollie

"Are there any particular names that you're eating?" -- GM to ?

"Does interrogation involve a pair of clean pants?" -- Ollie to Julian

"This would be the important part I'm missing by not being in the room." -- Wendi Strang-Frost to the group

"Seven for a Secret" by Sarah Kindred

"No fratricide will ever take the throne!" -- Oberon

"There had been a few others also, of whom I had heard, long before us, who had not survived." -- Corwin

"Please continue your story without benefit of footnotes..." -- Benedict

Cast of Characters

Dana Bayer:Cassandra Adair, Oberon's first wife, Lady of House Adair
Rain Donaldson:Gwenhwefyr, Oberon's first mistress
Kris Fazzari:Catlin, third daughter of Oberon and Cassandra
Joe Filippini:Findlay, only son of Oberon and Jenna (Oberon's second mistress)
Patrick Franklin:Benedict, first son of Oberon and Cymnea
Roy Grutchfield:Cymnea Shaedac, Oberon's second wife
Chris Kindred:Caithness, first daughter of Oberon and Cassandra
Jill Pritts:Cynric Barimen Adair, second daughter of Oberon and Cassandra, heir to House Adair
Andy Ransom:Samuel of Chaos, Caithness' husband

"Oh, you're the spooky one." -- Roy Grutchfield
"We prefer the term 'fey.'" -- Jill Pritts

"Do I get along badly with my father?" -- Cynric
"No worse than you do with your mother." -- GM

"Who cast the cards?" -- Cynric
"Dworkin." -- Speaker to the Serpent
"That's a name you don't hear very often around Chaos. And when you do, it's usually followed by someone spitting." -- Kris Fazzari

"You know, other children dream of candy canes for Christmas. Cassandra's children dream of orphanages." -- GM to the group

"It's not like Cassandra ever did anything like (what Cymnea did)." -- Chris Kindred, sarcastically
"Oh no..." -- everyone
"I never got caught." -- Cassandra

The king was keeping the royal seal in his jock strap for a while." -- GM
"Figuring it was the only place (Cassandra) wouldn't look." -- Chris Kindred
"How do you think Cait got conceived?" -- GM

"I also promise to look after your daughters as if they were my own." -- Cymnea to Cassandra
"Oh man! I've already got one psycho mom!" -- Caithness

"I would rather be jousting with the Serpent of Chaos than be at this party." -- Caithness to the group

"Mom figures she can introduce us to some psycho hellbeast, and as long as he has status and power, that will be OK." -- Catlin
"Well, that's what her father did to her." -- Caithness

"Are (Cymnea and Cassandra) bitch fighting while we're leaving?" -- Catlin
"No, they actually seem to be getting along." -- GM
"Oh, we are so dead." -- Catlin

"We like spunky Benedict!" -- Chris Kindred to the group

"House Adair is the house of pleasure, bliss and joy." -- GM
"Well, (Cassandra) brings those to everyone she leaves." -- Rain Donaldson

"Shadowship Galactica" by Brian Stanley

Fleeing from the Chaosian tyranny, the last Shadowship, Galactica, leads a rag-tag fugitive fleet on a lonely quest...a shining Shadow known as Earth!

Cast of Characters

Rob Bergeron:Meredith

"This is like non-lethal piracy!" -- Blade
"Well where's the fun in that?" -- Meredith

Slot 7

"And the Sun Never Set" by John Schippers

After a string of improbable coincidences (if you believe in such a thing) led you to the metropolis of London, this invitation was delivered with nary an explanation to your hotel suite.

Dear (Sir or Madam),

We at Club Bruidhen would be honoured by your presence at an intimate dinner reception on the evening of this coming Saturday. We trust that you will find our invitation not overly presumptuous, as our establishment is open only to those of the oldest families and deemed reputable amongst this discriminating clientele. We trust that any guests you wish to bring will present their calling cards three days previous so that we may make suitable arrangements.

Your Servant,
James Govannon-Smythe. Proprietor.

Cast of Characters

John Schleick:Adam, son of the Archangel Michael

"You never know what these people are going to do." -- GM to ?

"Can I take back my moment of greatest regret? Because this might be it!" -- Adam to the Archangel Michael

"But wait! I don't understand! What happened to Armageddon?" -- one GM to the other

"Gen Con Amber Campaign" by Erick Wujcik

Cast of Characters

Paul Deckert:Adrian
Carol Dodd:Bronwyn
Rob Justice:Argentus
Chuck Knakal:Herdan
Terry O'Brien:Damarian
Michele Spainhour:Eleanor

"This is kind of a bizarre relationship for you - you're not seeing any downside to this." -- GM to Damarian, describing Damarian's new girlfriend

"Honor Thy Mother and Father" by Mike Denewith and Ben Ekdahl

Cast of Characters

Deb Atwood:Krystol
Andy Blija:Jacob, King of Asylum
Edwin Voskamp:Aaron
Scott Whitney:Ashley, Queen of Tir-na Nog'th
Jeremy Zimmerman:Ian, King of Thermofyr

"Just because he's willing to sleep with someone as a favor, doesn't mean he's easy. Any Amberite would do that." -- Chris to ?

"Okay, you have a dead Pattern light-bulb. What are you doing?" -- Scott Whitney to ?

"Weren't there two of you?" -- Scott Whitney
"Yeah, but we joined back together." -- Chris

"I'm spoon feeding Raven(?)." -- Chris
"To what?" -- Scott Whitney

"Who are you?" -- Krystol
"I'm Pug." -- Pug
"Besides that." -- Krystol
"I'm the most powerful being in the Universe." -- Pug
"Krystol looks doubtful." -- Deb Atwood
"Jacob doesn't." -- Andy Blija

"Don't we want to put the titans back before we put the Pattern over the hole?" -- Aaron to ?

"Works for me." -- Chris
"Yes, it would work on you. We need it to work on the titans." -- Scott Whitney

"My brother joined the Borg." -- Chris to ?

"Well practiced. No results." -- GM Ben to ?, on breeding in Thermofyr

"Dad can resurrect the dead. I was wondering how we managed to survive childhood." -- Scott Whitney to ?

"Does it constitute irony to be talked down to by you?" -- Ian to Christian

"You had a litter? Man, she must hate you." -- Andy Blija to ?
"Number 5. Fuck you. Number 6. Fuck you..." -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"...number 7. Oh, wait, that's how this got started." -- Deb Atwood

"If you see me, touch me, taste me, smell me..." -- Krystol, threateningly
"Wow, you're turning me on!" -- Pug

"Waking up the Phoenix is a whole new term for it." -- Deb Atwood to ?, alluding to the Phoenix's ability to imbue virility

"We used to have a nice view of the Abyss. Then they went and built a condo right between us. We even asked Death to build it off to the side. It was the least he could do since I came up with this plan." -- Jacob to ?

"You are the Collective. For about five minutes." -- GM Ben to ?

"I find it interesting that it takes as long to reincarnate as to microwave something." -- Andy Blija to ?

"You're all little pink people to me." -- The Phoenix to ?

"Masks of the Elders" by Brian Stanley

Millennia have passed since the Shattering. The Elders are remembered only vaguely as a pantheon of jealous gods. Amber's glory is lost. But if you open your mind and heart, the mysteries and powers of the multiverse await rediscovery.

Cast of Characters

Marvin Allen:John Weigher
Lucas Amodio:Capt. Neldramu, Lord Bela
Michelle Dawson:Paul Crier
Valerie Kessler:Constance Weaver
Jennifer Stanley:Elizabeth Healer
Michael Trout:Jamie

"So, it's one big happy Shadow. Except you wouldn't call it that, because you don't know about that, so it's a world." -- GM to ?

*snicker* "Bleys is a horse." -- Valerie Kessler to the group, upon reading the mythology sheet

"So when will the Amber back-stabbing begin? When we find our god?" -- Michelle Dawson to ?

"Anyone who's at all religious knows that goddesses with scrolls are generally Llewella." -- GM to ?

"You're waking up (from a strange dream) and it's dawn now. Just to clarify." -- GM
"I still go back to sleep." -- Constance and Jamie, in unison

"I'm going to hold off on going nuts until lunch." -- Neldramu to ?

"I've got stuff I've gotta do! Can't Llewella wait?" -- Elizabeth to ?

"Street rats tend to hide." -- John to ?

"Are you walking on the horse?" -- Paul
"I can't do that. I'm not an acrobat. Yet." -- Neldramu

"You're going to think this is very strange, but..." -- Elizabeth
"You think you saw Llewella." -- Paul and Constance, in unison

"There's no trouble here, right?" -- Elizabeth
"Not yet." -- Constance
"Trouble could be arranged." -- GM

"Since we all seem to share the same delusion, I'm going to assume it's not the second option and I'm not going mad." -- Neldramu
"I'm fond of that conclusion. Although I'm not sure about the alternative." -- Constance

"Religious persecution and social outcast, unless you can prove that you're divinely touched." -- Neldramu, on the consequences of climbing Mount Kolvir
"Oh, we're touched all right." -- Constance

"Mountains of Madness" by Kristen Gibbs

A year since Brand's death, and he still has no grave marker. His name has been blotted out of the history - but not the memory - of those still living. Now, out of the depths of Abyss there arises something that threatens both Amberite and Chaosian alike, something that could only result from Brand's Blood Curse.

Cast of Characters

Paul Burdick:?
Sasha Burdick:?
Joe Filipini:Brother Simon
Bill Gulstad:?
Wendi Strang-Frost:Vivian

"I shapeshift into a horse." -- Brother Simon
"I am so not riding you!" -- Vivian

"Can we hell-slither?" -- ?

"It's not good to be a small fish in a big pond." -- ?
"The operative word is fish." -- a Rebman

"The Pallid Mask" by Matthew Richardson

Sequel to "The King in Yellow" from AC8. A dark cloud settled over Amber following the conclusion of the Patternfall War, and in time it was discovered that the source of this gloom was Sand, Queen of Tir-na Nog'th. She killed King Random and nearly destroyed all of Amber, but in the end she was defeated. The Pattern was restored and Martin assumed the throne, but the gloom has not departed Amber. Coral, who repaired the Pattern, has become increasingly irrational and has recently been confined to a windowless tower in Castle Amber. King Martin seems distracted of late, as if he were hearing some unseen voices. And the Jewel has not been seen for some time.

Cast of Characters

J.P. Brannan:Lauren, secret daughter of Caine, assistant to Lord Henden, the "Lady in Waiting"
Andy Dawson:Merlin, son of Corwin and Dara, the "Foreign Prince"
Patrick Franklin:Rinaldo, son of Brand and Jasra, the "Charming Newcomer"
Sean Frost:Dmitrii, son of Florimel, the "Subtle Scholar"
Ian Ng:Llydia, daughter of Llewella, the "Quiet Sorceress"
Jarrod Van Kirk:Edward, son of Gérard, the "Scion of the Pattern"

"(The Pallid Mask) is a giant Bioré." -- Sean Frost
"Oh my God! It's the One True Blackhead." -- Ian Ng
"They should not let us play in the same game together." -- Sean Frost

"What shall we do about the two moons?" -- Lord Henden to the group
"We shall send someone up there and put a shroud over one of them." -- Ian Ng

"Whose brat are you?" -- Edward
"My father was a sailor in the Royal Navy." -- Lauren
"And your mother?" -- Edward
"Was also a sailor in the Royal Navy." -- Sean Frost and Ian Ng

"I killed a zombie. It's in my bathtub right now." -- Lauren
"Can it wait?" -- Dmitrii

"You feel your Pattern lens begin to flicker." -- GM to Edward
"That's because your Pattern is bathroom tile." -- Ian Ng

"Logrus-on-a-rope." -- J.P. Brannan
"Don't bend down in the shower." -- Sean Frost

"We wet ourselves." -- Sean Frost
"Ah! True Amberites." -- Jarrod Van Kirk

"Byahkhee suck." -- Kris Fazzari
"No! They rend!" -- Sean Frost

"...and then I'm going to draw my dagger and scream like a bitch." -- Dmitrii to GM

"(Llydia) will never be able to piss without me again." -- Dmitrii to the group

"The sun wouldn't have risen on Day 4. That would have been a sign to hurry." -- GM
"Like that wasn't obvious already." -- Andy Dawson

"Wait. The serving girl had a higher warfare than Rinaldo?" -- J.P. Brannan
"With his pants around his ankles? Yeah!" -- Sean Frost

"Past Demons" by Matthew London

Five strangers are invited to a party by a mysterious host in an eerie old house that looms deep in the heart of a forbidding forest. Their reward is a million dollars each. All they have to do is stay alive. It's going to be a long night. Terror awaits in the remake of the 1999 Rayser-Sharpe Classic "Past Daemons."

Cast of Characters

?:Bridgette Comfry, telephone psychic
?:Jeff Langdon, professional skeptic
?:Joe the auto-mechanic

"Y'know, I bet that place is wired all up with cameras." -- Bridgette
"For a million dollars, I'll piss in every corner of the house." -- Joe

"Damn, that was a good pair of vice grips." -- Jeff to ?, after a gate nearly squashes him

"Would anybody like to know how he died?" -- GM, referring to the dismembered lower half of a body
"It must've been a suicide." -- ?

"You killed my great-grandmother!" -- Aaron to Joe
"She was a writing mass of snakes. What's your problem?" -- Bridgette

"Submission" by John Davies

It is the End.

The castle crumbles. The King must be reborn but Temptation is King. Why are you here? How much will you submit? Temptation leads to submission leads to pain leads to salvation. So says the King. Will you believe? How far will you go to forestall the End?

A dark tale of Amber Gothic. Recommended for the broad-minded.

Cast of Characters

Brian Heacox:Simone
Sarah Kindred:Connla
Jill Pritts:Fayne
?:Sorrowful in Spite

"Are Happiness and Joy here?" -- Simone
"Happiness and Joy?" *Laughs uproariously* "You are so sweet." -- Sorrowful in Spite
"Bitterness and Sarcasm, however, are in residence." -- Ilisandra

"I think we're trapped in a metaphor." -- Connla
"Wrapped in a simile." -- Oswald

"Are you crying?" -- Fayne
"Not yet." -- Simone

"She's quite attractive for her early forties, if you ignore the gaping hole in her face." -- GM to ?

"What is the Void?" -- Ilisandra
"The absence of everything. No thoughts. No sleep. No pretty dresses. Nothing." -- Oswald

"Are you going to keep touching things until you're dead?" -- Oswald
"Probably." -- Ilisandra

"Lather, Rinse, Repeat." -- Connla to ?

"Are you crying yet?" -- Connla
"Have been." -- Simone

"When the towers are rocking, don't come a-knocking." -- Connla to ?

Remaining quotes from this game have been censored by order of the chair, except one:

"Any time the High Priest of the Tiki censors quotes from an S&M game he's running, you know something has gone dangerously, dangerously right." -- Chris Kindred, walking through the room near wrap-up.

Post Slot 7

"Amber TVMA" by Duane Spencer

Cast of Characters

J.P. Brannan:Meghan, daughter of Brand and Jasra
Heidi King:Ariel, daughter of Fiona
Matthew London:Mythew, son of Gérard
Ian Ng:Macallan, son of Fiona
Krishna Stolpin:Nikki, daughter of Corwin
Scott Whitney:Alex, son of Fiona

"There is a strange smell in the air, and no, it's not that." -- GM
"They're going at it so hard, they're setting the lubricant on fire." -- Scott Whitney

"Do you smoke after sex? Only if I start dry!" -- Scott Whitney to to the group

"'Prospectus' is Latin for open your mouth and close your eyes." -- Scott Whitney to ?

"I really screwed the pooch..." *Arf!* "Sorry, I meant we made love." -- Scott Whitney to ?

Slot 8

"And One Ring to Bind Them" by Chris Salzer

Now that some Artifacts have Broken Dworkin Imprint and others have initiated into the Ultimate Artifact known as the Jewel of Judgment, what is do be done? The Crucible wishes the One Ring destroyed and Legend has it that this may only happen in the forge in which it was created. The cockroaches are ready for another adventure and Dworkin is still in search of his missing Hump. Dworkin only has one question in his mind...why is Wednesday called hump day when most people get laid on the weekend?

Cast of Characters

Mike Denewith:Roget the Book
Marc Phoenix Gibbs:Ferrets
Steve McNellis:Crystal
Peter Whale:Sark the Airship
?:Flora's Accessories

"Cockroach units trained in anti-rat tactics, with little flaming toothpicks, and other cockroaches standing by with little thimbles full of sand..." -- GM to the group, describing the carnage as the massed cockroaches of Amber wipe out the rats on Sark the Airship

"I can't stand these filthy bastards..." -- Ard the cockroach to ?, throwing two dead rats off Sark the Airship

"Run high, run silent." -- tagline for Sark the Airship in psychic barrier mode

"If only humans had antenna." -- Benny the cockroach to ?

"Ah, more players.... This has been too much like a real game, we need to achieve 'Critical Ludicrous Mass'." -- GM to ?

"I sent Roger back to Amber on a secret mission. Can someone go sweep up the pile of dust outside of the port cargo hold, which is now off-limits. You have been warned." -- Sark to the airship crew, speaking as Bleys

"Artifacts don't kill Elders, happy fun balls kill Elders." -- GM to the group

"Repel boarders. Just assist the cockroaches and ferrets, don't directly engage." -- Sark to the airship crew, speaking as Bleys

"Ard (the cockroach) is busy loading the cannons." -- GM to ?

"I'm buying Amber Devotee - Horde Quantity.... Board me now, you bastards!" -- Sark to the group

"Can you Trump something flaming down onto that?" -- Flora's Accessories to ?, looking down on a guano-covered Chaos army

"I've got dwarves on the ship. I dunno what they're gonna put in the bilge pumps, but it's got to be good...I've got to reload. Beans for everybody!" -- Sark to ?

"When someone asks if you'll be a good master, you say YES!" -- Kriedegan (Communications Ferret) to ?

"The cockroaches are getting a tan." -- Crystal to ?

"Incremental factors above warp speed." -- Flora's Accessories
"But that takes too long to spell." -- Brolenteen (Sorcery Ferret)
"If it's a good spell, it's worth spelling." -- Roget

"I knew that would demoralize them." -- Benny the Cockroach
"You're just saying that." -- Crystal
"He pulls out his diary and shows you the entry from yesterday: 'I suspect we'll manage to destroy a majority of the tower, demoralizing the defenders'." -- Benny the Cockroach's player

"Delwin actually did blood curse us, didn't he?" -- Nedanillor (Scout Ferret)
"He didn't have a happy fun ball shoved in HIS mouth." -- Roget

"Benny didn't bring any happy fun balls along. Even with his warfare, they're unpredictable." -- GM
"That's because Benny doesn't understand happiness." -- Roget

"Is that a bookmark, or are you just happy to see me?" -- a spell book from the Keep of the Four Worlds, speaking to Roget

"Cross and Double-Cross" by Kristen Gibbs and Guy Gascoigne-Piggford

Murder, most foul. That much is obvious. What isn't obvious is who did it - or why. Certain family members have been consulted with; the King thus begins the questioning of the suspects. Can you puzzle it out in time to stop another killing...or do you need to lead the investigation astray, and away from your own plans? An Amber whodunit with a dark edge.

Cast of Characters

Jill Pritts:Flora
Matthew Richardson:Random
Jarrod Van Kirk:Bleys
?:Chaosian student

"I seem to remember you kneeling to that mutant one-horned goat." -- Random to Caine

"Random, did you kill Fiona?" -- Benedict
"No, I didn't do it, piss off." -- Random

"Don't Eat the Snow in Arden" by Sol Foster
(AKA "Sinatra Must Die!")

It's winter in Amber, and you're bored. Surely the eternal realm offers something fun to do? Skiing on Kolvir? Hellhounds on ice? This game is completely player-driven, with no plot whatsoever. You have been warned. Relax, roleplay, use your imagination, have fun.

Cast of Characters

Anne Devlin:Owen
Tim Groves:Peter Lawford
William Gulstad:Roger
R.F. McCaughey:Doromay
Scott Whitney:Alex

"At last, I'm living off the taxpayers!" -- Peter to ?

"Hey, you know, it's Flora - just agree." -- Scott Whitney to ?

"It's Amber. We don't have trapdoor spiders, we have ice palace spiders." -- Alex to ?

"Do people in Amber..." *sniff* "You know what I mean." -- Peter to ?

"I always imagined Gérard as a pull-my-finger type." -- William Gulstad to ?

"I did it my way. I hate that song." -- Peter to ?

"We have to make sure his entrance is sufficiently lovely." -- Alex
"Bleys has put out the sun!" -- Doromay

"If Flora sings, "My Heart Belongs to Daddy," I'm leaving." -- Doromay to ?

"Oh, he's from Shadow Earth. That explains a lot." -- Alex to ?

"You can feel the Force moving through you." -- Alex
"Wow, those are the droids I'm looking for!" -- Roger

"I get out my Trump of Fiona." -- Alex to GM
"We're moving up to nuclear weapons." -- R.F. McCaughey
"I've got a Fiona, and I'm not afraid to use it." -- Scott Whitney

"This is going to be a psychic musical battle!" -- Peter to ?

"Alex, is this part of the entertainment?" -- Owen
"It is now." -- Alex

"What was the theme of 'Don't Eat the Snow in Arden?'" -- Tim Groves
"Sinatra must die!" -- Anne Devlin

"They're not afraid to club you with their otherwise useless guns." -- GM to ?

"Moominriders of Ghenesh" by Sarah Kindred

Preference given to returning players from "Hot Potato" (AC 8). Join the Barimen Bunch in next week's episode, where you'll hear Benedict say, "But I don't want to sit next to Grampa! He smells!"

Cast of Characters

Rob Bergeron:Dybele
Paul Burdick:Benedict
Sasha Burdick:Fiona
Darrell Butler:Julian
Kris Fazzari:Random
Patrick Franklin:Clarissa
Darrell Hischke:Corwin
Michael Schloss:Flora
Jeremy Zimmerman:Oberon

"I have a Darrell...Hirshky here." -- GM, reading the list of players
"That's him down there. He's my other brother Darrell." -- Darrell Butler

"If you have Amber rank in conjuration, you can conjure Corwin's pants into the back seat." -- GM to the group

"I forgot about Random." -- GM
"Everybody does." -- Random

"No peeking under the table. There are things going on that you are not meant to see." -- GM to the group

"I have never, ever started a game out with a puppet show." -- Rob Bergeron to the group

"Fiona, you sense a disturbance in the force." -- GM to Fiona
"And it's not that Random has raided your underwear drawer again." -- Kris Fazzari

"This is the crown of Amber?" -- Oberon, looking at a tiny ladies hat
"Yes, it's the hat of the Serpent." -- GM

"Is Nell your dog, your horse, or your girlfriend?" -- GM
"Yes." -- Julian

"There is a deer in front of you. It does not look particularly lifelike. It's rolling towards you on tiny wheels." -- GM to Julian

"Yes, yes, I'm sticky." -- GM to the group

"Benedict, what are you doing with yourself? Never mind, don't answer that." -- GM to Benedict

"For those of you around the castle, you see Benedict stiffen." -- GM
"Now wait a minute." -- Benedict
"Sorry, didn't mean to. I almost said, 'Snaps erect.'" -- GM

"Do not taunt happy fun Benedict." -- Kris Fazzari to the group

"The off taste in the universe grows stronger and stronger..." -- GM to Dybele
"You're not supposed to swallow it." -- Paul Burdick
"Good girls swallow." -- Rob Bergeron

"You feel something hit you in the back of the knees. It's an astral shmoo." -- GM
"I punt it." -- Dybele

"Now Oberon, what are you doing, other than sitting there and sucking on your pencil?" -- GM to Oberon
"Now that's limber." -- Rob Bergeron
"Or well endowed." -- Paul Burdick

"Uh-oh, the puppets are coming out." -- Kris Fazzari
"I didn't know the dragon was gay." -- GM

"Corwin changed his mind. It happens a lot." -- GM to the group
"Too bad he never gets a better one." -- Random

"Wow, I am lopsided." -- Michael Schloss, looking at his impromptu breasts
"You're suffering from BRT." -- GM
"BRT?" -- Michael Schloss
"Big Right Tit." -- GM

"I cast my spell of binding on (the Moominrider)." -- Flora to GM
"You were going to use that on your date, but oh well." -- Patrick Franklin

"Is the shmoo evil?" -- Fiona
"Well, pretty much everyone you know is self-involved. Define evil." -- GM
"Is it naughty?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman

"(Dybele) looks even more beautiful in her astral body than her real one, probably because her astral body doesn't have stretch marks." -- GM to Oberon

"I go to Julian's closet." -- Corwin
"Yeah, that's where you got the blow-up deer in the first place." -- GM

"I go back to my body." -- Dybele
"Oberon's waiting for you." -- GM
"That's right, he is." -- Dybele
"And you no longer have any clothes on." -- Kris Fazzari
"I hope you don't mind, I started without you." -- Oberon

"Is the yellow dye lemony-fresh?" -- Julian
"Lemony is not the right word." -- Corwin
"Neither is fresh." -- GM

"I ran into this thing, and it didn't like your hovel here." -- Dybele
"Was it a one-eyed snake?" -- Oberon

"All right, you've got a man chained to a rock..." -- GM to Flora

"You're not allowed to kill any of my family...except maybe Random." -- Flora to the Moominrider

"(The Moominrider) shudders and clenches his hands on the rock. You've seen this before, but it didn't usually involve the vomit." -- GM to Flora

"Oh Clarissa? Explain it all." -- GM to Clarissa

"You get the feeling that someone is looking over your shoulder. You think it's your mother." -- GM to Fiona
"She's used to that." -- Clarissa

"Are you leaving the bar with the woman?" -- GM
"Oh yes, because I'm young and stupid." -- Random

"I've got a room..." -- Random to the woman who's been coming on to him
"There's a knife at your throat." -- GM
"Fuck! I knew you were gay." -- Random to the woman

"How many guards watch the castle entrance?" -- woman with the knife
"Fuck if I know, they always let me in." -- Random

"She didn't hit anything vital, but she nicked your vocal cords. Until you regenerate, you're going to have to talk by burping." -- GM
"Oh, I can do that." -- Random

"So you want to roll between her legs?" -- GM
"Yes. Not quite in the way I intended earlier, but..." -- Random

"Batteries don't work in Amber." -- GM
"Who needs batteries if you have the Logrus? It has tendrils." -- Kris Fazzari
"Is that why the Logrus smells?" -- Patrick Franklin

"I suddenly feel a need to get my stiff self back to my room." -- Benedict to GM

"You just can't get upset about (losing the hat) right now. You have this incredible sense of well-being." -- GM
"That post-nookie glow?" -- Oberon

"(Flora) is in the stable." -- GM to Fiona
"That's not unusual for Flora." -- Kris Fazzari

"There's a dead man chained to a rock, and another one with a sword stuck through him." -- GM to Fiona
"Just another night with Florimel." -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"Three out of five dates with Florimel end in death." -- Darrell Butler

"I'm not going down on a shmoo, I'm going down with a shmoo." -- Benedict to GM

"Is that a man on your shoulder?" -- Benedict
"What do I look like?!" -- Random
"It's hard to focus on Random. He's got this shapely rear-end next to his head." -- GM to Benedict

"You know, Random can always ride your back like a surfboard." -- GM
"Ride me Random!" -- Benedict

"You notice there's a note on the nightstand where a servant left it for you, which you'd know if you ever slept in your own bed." -- GM to Benedict

"I have a halter I keep in my room." -- Benedict to GM
"Benedict, stay out of my closet." -- Julian

"What do expect me to do about it? I'm chained to my bed and I don't have my hat!" -- Oberon to Julian

"Julian is straddling Oberon and sawing his chain off." -- Oberon to GM

"It's been a while." -- Lintra
"From what I remember, I'll get more action from the dead chick." -- Benedict

"(Oberon) and Julian seem to be pretty busy on the bed there, so I'm just going to leave." -- Dybele to GM

"(Fiona's) lovely, she's even better than Nell." -- GM, speaking for Julian
"Does Nell have red hair?" -- Rob Bergeron
"Nell is his horse." -- Kris Fazzari

"Benedict, do you know anything about people attacking Amber?" -- Oberon
"Yes." -- Benedict

"There's about 100,000 riders over the hill waiting to attack." -- Benedict
"Oh. Go take care of them." -- Oberon
"Working on it." -- Benedict

"I need the shmoo, the dead body, and Lintra, but not necessarily in that order." -- Benedict to GM

"I'll tame the dead girl, autopsy the Hellmaid and get busy with the shmoo.'ll autopsy the dead girl, get busy with the Hellmaid and tame the Shmoo." -- Benedict to GM

"Someone is taking all of the energy used to empower Tir and using it to open a giant gate." -- GM to Corwin
"I've gotta learn that one." -- Fiona

"...unless you know how to destroy the Pattern, which you don't, because that hasn't happened yet." -- GM to Corwin

"(Corwin) told me everything." -- Fiona
"OK, now did you tell Corwin anything?" -- GM
"Of course not, this is Fiona." -- Corwin

"What are you doing?" -- Clarissa
"I'm using myself." -- Dybele
"That happens all the time." -- Clarissa

"OK, you're right where your tomb is going to be in about 500 years." -- GM to Corwin

"I'm in Benedict's quarters. I don't think I want my climax to happen there." -- Random to GM

"The Taming of the Shmoos." -- Paul Burdick to the group

"Would you like to come up here and take a look at this army from a better vantage point?" -- Corwin
"I don't know, I've got a shmoo around my leg." -- Benedict

"It's a hole to another reality." -- GM
"I know all about those." -- Oberon
"Yeah, I've been with a Hellmaid too." -- Benedict

"It's Hong Kong action Amber. Except (Benedict) is flying a shmoo." -- GM to the group

"There's Benedict, alone and mighty...except for the rest of his family...holding the pass to Arden." -- GM to the group

"A one-eyed snake emerges from the portal, and looks at Benedict." -- GM
"Hey, I told you not to get involved." -- Serpent
"I took you once before, don't get cocky." -- Benedict

"Mystical energy begins to crackle over Oberon's head." -- GM
"I'm moving away from Oberon." -- Random

"My Word" by Scott Acker

You are on a camping trip into the Shadows at the edge of forest Arden. Everything goes well until you run into a freaky "storm." This scenario is designed to be lighthearted fun. Just a little serious near the end. You are children (6 to 12).

Cast of Characters

Lucas Amodio:Feldon, son of Random and Vialle
Joe Filippini:Brigit, daughter of Fiona
Carrie Fish:Rebecca, daughter of Flora
Roy Grutchfield:James, son of Eric
Valerie Kessler:Melusine, daughter of Bleys
Andy North:Aaron, son of Flora
Linda Voskamp:Ithy, daughter of Random

"They require (Aaron) to wear that little symbol of the Unicorn at all times." -- Andy North
"Like a collar." -- Carrie Fish
"Like a chain." -- Andy North

"Julian's scary!" -- Melusine
"But he's got dogs. Have you ever seen the dogs?" -- Brigit
"They're scary, too." -- Melusine

"How long is this trip? How many Sundays is that? I'm sold." -- Aaron
"You'll be expected to conduct services." -- GM
*moan* -- Aaron

"(The Elders) never lie. But sometimes you discover that you really didn't understand what they said." -- GM to ?

"Part of the list was to bring pants. Do the girls ignore that?" -- GM
"I have pants. They're under my skirt, and they have ruffles." -- Melusine

"I look through the book and see what prayers I'm supposed to say before we leave." -- Aaron
"Those are optional." -- GM
"I've learned that 'optional' means 'yes.'" -- Aaron

"What happened to your eye, Mister?" -- Brigit
<one-eyed man gestures to his throat>
"You ate it?" -- Brigit

"You shouldn't laugh at James. He's..." <in a whisper> "...not very smart." -- Brigit to ?
"I look around to see if Mommy's watching." -- Brigit to GM

"OK. Where's my chopsticks?" -- Rebecca to ?, regarding the raw fish being handed to her

"Do we have to take (the tent) down?" -- Melusine
"No. You can stay here." -- Julian, as he starts walking off

"Discipline is so much easier when you can't hardly move." -- GM to ?

"Please, Great Unicorn, get us the hell out of here!" -- Aaron to ?

"Neat! Look at the things under the skin!" -- Brigit
"Good. You can do mine." -- Melusine

"Why do we have to have BOYS?" -- Melusine
"I'd be happy to leave." -- Julian
"You're not a boy. You're Uncle Julian." -- Melusine
"Thank you." -- Julian

"Hey, James, you awake?" -- Feldon
"No." -- James

"You're supposed to sleep in the tent." -- Aaron
"It's damp down there." -- James
"But you're supposed to sleep in the tent." -- Aaron

"This isn't so bad." -- Rebecca, regarding the landscape after the Shadow storm
"We're safe here." -- Ithy
"It's pretty, but it's not supposed to be there." -- Melusine

"The water's good. Why are there three suns?" -- GM to ?

"I don't think we're in Arden anymore." -- Brigit
"I coulda told you that." -- Ithy
"Well, why didn't you?" -- Brigit
"Nobody asked." -- Ithy

"I don't know how to shoot a bow, but the hatchet's pretty self-explanatory." -- Aaron to ?

"You hear a low, very slow growl." -- GM
"I say some words I heard my dad say once. When Mommy wasn't around." -- Feldon
"Wow, those are pretty good." -- Aaron

"Brigit wake up. There's a growly thing." -- Melusine
"What kind of growly thing?" -- Brigit
"We don't know." -- Melusine
"Does it have big teeth?" -- Brigit
"Probably." -- Melusine
"And claws?" -- Brigit
"Probably." -- Melusine
"I'm not responding to that." -- Feldon

"Hey, would you like your pack back? It's getting heavy." -- James to Rebecca, immediately after the monster attack

"I killed a monster! I gotta clean my pants, but I killed a monster!" -- Feldon to ?

"We've made the connection that a wall you can't see is probably magic." -- Melusine
"So we're not scared anymore. Of that." -- Brigit

"The redhead spawn are bonding." -- Valerie Kessler
"Ooooooooh." -- Carrie Fish

"So we have a bunch of rugrats walking a foreign Pattern, (James) eating everything he finds.... Julian is gonna kill us all." -- Valerie Kessler to the group

"If (Aaron) gets in trouble again, he's gonna be in there so long that he'll end up being a priest." -- Rebecca to ?

"This is really ooky." -- Aaron
"As long as you're using a technical term." -- Feldon

"Mommy says to get power, you have to make a sacrifice." -- Brigit
"Mommy shouldn't talk to you every day." -- GM

"You're supposed to fill in here. One is a name, and one is a word." -- Aaron
"Like 'carrot'?" -- Brigit
"No." -- Aaron

"Mommy says not to call her old." -- Brigit
"So does my mommy. Sometimes she says not to call her 'Mommy.'" -- Rebecca

"Ithy? Are you sure you're OK?" -- Aaron
"I think so." -- Ithy
"You think so, therefore you know." -- Aaron

"Do I know anyone who's likely to be in Chaos?" -- Ithy
"The entire registry of all the noble houses of all of Chaos runs through your head." -- GM

"Do you want Pattern? I think you should. Well, I don't really, but I think it's a good idea. Well, I don't really, but somebody has to." -- Ithy to ?

"You lived. You knew there was a possibility, but it was so far down it was worth ignoring." -- GM to ?

"Pattern Magic" by Erick Wujcik and Cliff Winnig

One of the more peculiar campaigns, based on the children of Brand, Fiona and Bleys, inheriting a strange magical heritage in the land of Ghenesh. Filled with mystics and metaphysics...

Cast of Characters

Cal Rea:Lysander (Bindar)
Barbara Baj:Mar'asti
Scott Piippo:Shardi
Shawn Dorsey:Talisn (Goli)
Randy Cox:Ka'meen
Keith Cripe:Kieran (Kalil)
Jeff Trumitch:Rynyll

"Do you want us in here for the Spielberg effects?" -- GM Cliff to ?, bringing in a PC for a private chat

"Spielberg enough for you?" -- GM Cliff to ?

"I have to admit it, you appealed to that little dark place inside of me." -- GM Erick to Cal Rea, after Cal's character created an animated "Meat Pattern" out of internal organs and bones

Slot 9

"Men in Green: The Black Road" by Wendi Strang-Frost

You were hand selected by Prince Caine to be part of his elite group of operatives. Your mission? Help Caine keep Amber safe from the scum of the Universe, and there's more than one Universe to deal with here...

Mission AC 2000: reports have been trickling in about a certain Black Road in Shadow shooting all sorts of unregistereds into Amber proper. Your mission? Find out what it's all about and shut it down.

Cast of Characters

Kris Fazzari:Agent M
Sol Foster:Agent T
Sean Frost:Agent Tilde (~)
Roy Grutchfield:Agent Gray
Ray Laura:Agent V
Ian Ng:Agent Y

"Hey, I had cool, I just didn't have a lot of cool." -- Kris Fazzari
"You're just vaguely chilly." -- Sol Foster

"I'm not going to last long, am I?" -- Agent V
"Only if you don't do what I say." -- Agent Tilde
"Only if you do do what he says." -- Kris Fazzari

"Tilde is a man in girth somewhere between the size of Buddha and a small hillock." -- Sean Frost to the group

"Just shut up and put on your green shades." -- Sean Frost to Ray Laura

"I'm red/green colorblind, I can't tell if I'm in the Men In Green or the Men In Red." -- Agent Y to the group

"Starting three days ago, something's been getting to the sheep before the farmers do." -- Agent Alpha to the MIG

"Report to R&D for your equipment." -- Agent Alpha
"There's an R and a D?" -- Agent T

"Can we requisition transportation?" -- Agent T
"We were led to believe you were it." -- Agent R
"We're going to ride you like a donkey." -- Agent Tilde

"I won't let (Agent Gray) touch me (again)." -- Agent M to GM
"(Agent Gray) gave her a cold shoulder, and now she's giving (him) one back." -- Sean Frost

"One well-placed stain on Florimel's dress and I can bankrupt a small country." -- Agent Tilde to the group, on why he chose to equip himself with a mustard bottle

"Do we have to wear a saddle?" -- Agent M
"No, but the horses do." -- Just about everyone else

"You were supposed to gather intelligence, remember?" -- GM
"So they figured they'd send in a vacuum?" -- Sean Frost

"If you can't see it, it's not there." -- GM to Agent Gray

"There's something out there. I heard something rattle." -- Agent M
"It might be my teeth." -- Agent Y

"It's easy to have a high cool when you don't see anything." -- Sean Frost to Roy Grutchfield

"Then you hear the whining sound." -- GM
"Like a dog in pain?" -- Agent M
"Or a sheep with its ass bitten off?" -- Agent T

"Let's not camp here." -- Agent M to the group, after killing a zombie sheep dog

"No, I'm not saying we should run away, we should make a strategic retreat." -- Agent T to the group

"How are you going around the corner?" -- GM
"Cautiously." -- Agent Gray

"Assless sheep." -- Agent Tilde
"Assless undead sheep." -- Agent T

"Cool power, wrong adventure." -- Sean Frost to Roy Grutchfield, after Agent Gray's infrared vision proves less than useful against some zombies

"All (Tilde's) been doing so far is talking." -- Kris Fazzari
"Yes. That's (his) power. Never-ending patter." -- Sean Frost

"If Tilde gets stuck (in the web), none of us can get through." -- Agent M to the group
"Yes, but on the other hand, the spider will eat for months." -- Sean Frost

"Tilde's on his back, and he can't get up!" -- GM to the group

"To do something you don't know isn't going to help is not a loss of cool." -- Sean Frost to the group

"OK, you just frapped the big, electric beastie. Now what?" -- GM
"Run like hell!" -- Agent T

"Y, you must learn wisdom." -- Agent T
"But there's no such stat!" -- Agent Y

"And then (Frank and I) got into the belly flop contest." -- Agent Tilde to Agent T
"Because that's what Chaos Lords do in Amber." -- GM and Kris Fazzari, in unison

"My god, the man actually talks to Tilde?" -- Agent Alpha to Agent T
"He must be evil!" -- Sean Frost

"Y unclenches your ass." -- GM to Agent Tilde

"Defeated by water balloons. That's got to be humiliating." -- Kris Fazzari
"And we didn't even have to use the squirt gun." -- Sol Foster

"(Tilde) named the Chaosian Lord 'Frank.'" -- GM
"Well, there are lots of silent letters." -- Lisamarie Babik

Slot ?

"Methuselah's Children" by Michael Kucharski

"(Simone de Beavior's) not a slut! She's just...French." -- Liz Trumitch to ?

Tony Pi's Paradox campaign

"Is my wife turning into my brother grounds for Annulment?" -- Jacob pleading to anyone listening

Random Quotes from the Con

"I didn't even know Amber City had a proctologist, but he saved our asses." -- Sean Frost to ?, reminiscing about Dr. Jellyfingers at AC10

"We have to do a bunch of other crap before I can do her." -- Dana Bayer to ?, while talking about a PbEM he's in

"...Wait 'til you're victimized by the Dayton people. They're totally vicious and will show no mercy and jump on weakness." -- ?


Kris' home page | Kris' RPG page

Counter  Hellriders have passed through here since May 11, 2000.

Done by Kris Fazzari.

Game descriptions taken from the Ambercon 2000 Game Book.

Quotes taken by myself, Deb Atwood, Sol Foster, R.F. McCaughey, Ian Ng, Wendi Strang-Frost, Erick Wujcik, and many other anonymous donors.

Last modified on April 14, 2009 by Kris Fazzari.

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