AmberCon North 2001 Quotes

Slot 1

"Bring Me The Head of Carl Corey" by Sarah Kindred

"I need people I can trust. I need them smart, and I need them good looking." - King Mob

PC's will be members of a Shadow Earth Invisibles cell detailed to determine the origins and intentions of the mysterious, apparently immortal Carl Corey. A nodding familiarity with the Grant Morrison Invisibles oeuvre (and perhaps the music of Shriekback and Oingo Boingo) will prove helpful if not essential.

Cast of Characters

Michael Curry:Simon
Kirt Dankmyer:Exleration
Rain Donaldson:Niandjim
Chris Hearns:Cowboy
Jennifer Jackson:Mallory Radcliffe
Michael Schloss:Zoom
Glen Seymour:Juice

"Niandjim is a short black woman and a tall white man." -- Rain Donaldson to the group
"So (Niandjim) is the only person who (Exleration) could have a monogamous relationship with and still have a threesome." -- Kirt Dankmyer

"And what does Juice have for breakfast?" -- GM
"Juice." -- Jennifer Jackson

"Besides, this isn't typical leadership, this is Invisibles leadership. This is herding cats." -- Rain Donaldson to the group

"(Simon) finds a nicely bound leather book, with "Fuck Authority" embossed on it. Inside, it's a dayplanner." -- Rain Donaldson
"I want to be angry, but I'm confused...." -- Simon

"I take out my pistol and pull it on June Cleaver. 'Do you have a Car? Good, now give me the keys and put your hands behind your back...'" -- Chris Hearns, posing as a Jehovah's Witness
"...and remember, Jesus Saves." -- Michael Schloss

"Simon, you're on a bad trip, and you've just been given electro-shock therapy. What's the first image that comes to mind?" -- GM
"...goat..." -- Simon

"So what's the plan, boss man?" -- Niandjim to Simon
"Simon bleats at you." -- Michael Curry

"Masturbation must be really interesting for you." -- Exleration to Niandjim

"To Live and Die in Texorami" by Chris Kindred

"Texorami was a wide open port city, with sultry days and long nights, lots of good music, gambling around the clock, duels every morning and in-between mayhem for those who couldn't wait." - Random, Sign of the Unicorn

Magnificent Seven meets Amber.

Cast of Characters

J.P. Brannan:"Lucky" Jack Diamond
David de Jong:"Mean" Mitch McGee
Anne Devlin:Reverend "Sin" Jediah Ishmael Jackson
Rick Garman:Eugen Marsh
Kendra Jamieson:Miz Purity "Purty" Laide
Sean McCabe:Caleb the Undertaker
R.F. McCaughey:"Red Hot" Ryerson

"I could shoot you in the foot if you start up again." -- "Mean" Mitch to Reverend "Sin," offering a way to help cure his gambling addiction

"It's always a good day to kill people." -- Caleb to ?

"The slogan of Caleb's business is 'Hundreds Served...It's Always a Good Day to Kill People.'" -- R.F. McCaughey to the group

"I've scheduled my temptation for tomorrow." -- Reverend "Sin" to ?, explaining why he did not participate in a preliminary poker game

"You went too far and you wandered into the plot." -- GM to ?

"Random says he knows monkeys who can play the bongos. There's hope for Eugen." -- GM to ?

"There's bongo bad." -- R.F. McCaughey
"Bedtime for bongo." -- GM

"Go back! Go back! I lost you in the crayon discussion!" -- GM to ?

"How do you like your coffee, black like your soul?" -- "Lucky" Jack Diamond to Caleb the Undertaker

"The air is full of smoke of burning dealer." -- GM to ?

"The grip has a green gem in it." -- GM, describing the pistol "Mean" Mitch snatched from the "Wild-Eyed" Man
"What's this, stranger? Irish studded?" -- "Mean" Mitch

"An Ounce of Prevention..." by Julia Frizzell

"True," [Benedict] finally said. "The Pattern is safe now. I wish...I wish that some time, long ago, something had not been said that was said, or something done that was not done. Something, had we known, which might have let him grow differently, something which would have seen him become another man than the bitter, bent thing I saw up there. It is best now if he is dead. But it is a waste of something that might have been." - Benedict to Corwin, The Hand of Oberon

It's been ten years since Random started his reign, and there are grumblings from Amber's children's children. They weren't there, they couldn't have stopped Patternfall from happening...or could they? Great-grandpa Dworkin has offered you the chance...will you take it? It's your can change events, speak to your parents, aunts, and uncles, get them to speak to Brand, or not to speak.

Cast of Characters

Sean Dorsey:Felix, son of Gérard, the Fortunate
Kris Fazzari:Allessandra, daughter of Brand, the Ever-changing
Doug Graham:Ethan, son of Benedict, the Traveller
D.J. Hyland:Siobhan, daughter of Deirdre, the Sorceress
Tony Pi:Kiril, son of Fiona, the Psychic Warrior
Craig Sparling:Ryan, son of Corwin, the Swordmaster

"Random likes to have parties!" -- Kris Fazzari
"Random parties." -- D.J. Hyland

"Oh, that's right, love-bomb Brand, that'll do the trick." -- Ryan to the group

"Much as I'd like to continue playing with myself, I guess I'll have to play with you instead." -- Siobhan to Allessandra

"We should go to Brand when he's trapped in the tower." -- Kiril
"He's least likely to kill us then." -- Ethan

"We try to determine what Brand's favorite library rug is and make sure we're standing on it." -- Kris Fazzari to GM, after the group Trumps Brand and asks him to join them in the library

"Brand's coming, look casual!" -- Ryan to the group

Slot 2

"When the Queen Says, 'Go and Die'" by Chris Kindred

A secret mission for the honor of the Queen. A beautiful and enigmatic Lady. A mysterious man in black. And the Cardinal's Guards in hot pursuit.

"You are surrounded by beauty, by intrigue, by danger, what more can a man want?" - Aramis

Cast of Characters

Matthew Andrews:Xavier Phillipe de la Vinrouge, Musketeer
J.P. Brannan:Count Alexis Vigaroux, Musketeer
Michael Curry:Alvaro Lopez, Portuguese Musketeer
David de Jong:Ritfort de L'Âmelarmée, Musketeer
Rain Donaldson:Erin, Musketeer
Kris Fazzari:Marcel Delmar, Musketeer
Julia Frizzell:Odile Foyard, owner of the Banded Quill
Sol Foster:Patrick Ourceau, Musketeer
Rick Garman:Count Phillipe Benoit, Musketeer
D.J. Hyland:Jean Thomas Dimitri D'Oliver AKA Dolph, Musketeer
Jennifer Jackson:Rene Vivier, Musketeer
Jill Pritts:Percy Delano Monsanto, manservant to Dolph
Tymen VanDyk:Armande Berenger de la Valencoeur, Musketeer

"If (Xavier's) handsomely swarthy, he can't be a Spaniard." -- D.J. Hyland to the group

"The stat you're ranked in is bad luck?" -- Rain Donaldson to Tymen VanDyk

"Armande side-steps the chamber pots." -- Tymen VanDyk, avoiding the effects of his character's bad stuff
"And steps in front of a carriage." -- Jennifer Jackson

"So we're going to rescue Lord Buckingham's soul from the Cardinal's Guards?" -- Rene
"Sword! Sword!" -- GM

"Have we seen the sword?" -- Dolph
"No, it's missing!" -- Rene
"OK, so we're looking for a sword that's missing, but we don't know what it looks like." -- Dolph

"Marcel has found his sword!" -- GM, as a bar brawl begins
"I have found my bookmark!" -- Patrick, keeping his priorities straight

"One for all, and all for the bar!" -- Patrick to the group

"There are bodies. There's a broken bottle." -- GM
"There were Musketeers here!" -- Dolph

"What will you be using (as explosives)?" -- GM
"We have a pile of bat guano." -- Jill Pritts
"Other people would just use gunpowder." -- GM

"You can tell the two men were Musketeers by the quality of the wine." -- Dolph to the group

"(Ritfort and Xavier) are big boys, they can take care of themselves. At least we think they're boys. There's a 50/50 chance." -- Dolph to the group, commenting on the plethora of women disguised as men in the game

"(Marcel, Patrick and Odile) are fighting a man in black." -- GM
"By fighting, you mean lying on him." -- Alvaro

"Because of (the man in black), my bra almost burned down!" -- Odile to the group
"Bra?" -- Kris Fazzari, David de Jong and Michael Curry
"Bar!" -- Julia Frizzell

"This was covered in the plan." -- J.P. Brannan
"Plan? You guys had a plan?" -- Kris Fazzari
"Yes, we had several." -- Tymen VanDyk
"We had four." -- Jennifer Jackson
"Freaks!" -- Sol Foster

"The Portuguese and the Englishman go over the cliff. A plan with no drawbacks!" -- Erin to the group

"My marriage prospects may be slightly impaired by the fact that I killed my last betrothed." -- Erin to the group

Slot 3

"...A Pound of Cure" by Julia Frizzell

"True," [Benedict] finally said. "The Pattern is safe now. I wish...I wish that some time, long ago, something had not been said that was said, or something done that was not done. Something, had we known, which might have let him grow differently, something which would have seen him become another man than the bitter, bent thing I saw up there. It is best now if he is dead. But it is a waste of something that might have been." - Benedict to Corwin, The Hand of Oberon

Great-grandpa Dworkin offered you the chance to change the past and you took it. Only now, Amber is gone. Whatever you managed to change, it was the wrong thing. Chaos' army came and wiped Amber from the map. Dworkin is gone, and the Jewel, the instrument that sent you back in time, is back with the Serpent. Can you put things back to the way they were before you're discovered?

Cast of Characters

Elissa Ayadi:Allessandra, daughter of Brand, the Ever-changing
Shawn Dorsey:Felix, son of Gérard, the Fortunate
D.J. Hyland:Sean, son of Deirdre, the Sorcerer
Tony Pi:Kiril, son of Fiona, the Psychic Warrior
Glen Seymour:Ethan, son of Benedict, the Traveller
Edwin Voskamp:Ryan, son of Corwin, the Swordmaster

"I grab Siobhan and I kiss her." -- Sean to GM, on learning Siobhan is the alternate future version of himself

"Daddy, please no. If you do this, Random will be king. Much drumming." -- Allessandra to Brand

Slot 4

"The Bloody Grievance" by R.F. McCaughey

Your father, Oberon, is a determined man carving a kingdom out of a beautiful wild country. In the Restless Sea, Oberon's ally and best friend, Lir, is gathering the Lost Sea-Tribes of the Athanor. On Kolvir, foundations for a larger, stronger, grander fortification are underway. In the forested range of western mountains, the marauding Dragon, Arden, makes forays into the outlying villages of Amber. Two months ago, Oberon returned from Shadow with a beautiful woman, named Cymnea, and this queen cradled a new babe, named Benedict.

Now the strange artist, Dworkin, arrives weeping blood from his left eye and warns your father, "They have found us," before he collapses.

A dark line taints the southern horizon. Strange banners coil there. House Nemirab has come to collect on an old Grievance.

Cast of Characters

Matthew Andrews:Charon, 6th child of Oberon
Anne Devlin:Syrene, leader of one of the Lost Sea Tribes of the Athanor
Julia Frizzell:Sierjna, oldest child of Oberon
Anton North:Veldt, 13th child of Oberon, Leader of the Red Scouts
Michael Schloss:Morgenstern (not THAT Morgenstern!), 3rd child of Dworkin, Captain of Arms
Glen Seymour:Vanspike, 7th child of Oberon

"Oberon is a cross between Sean Connery and Hulk Hogan." -- GM to the group

"As you put gauze on (Dworkin's) wounds, they change into mouths and eat the gauze." -- GM to Vanspike
"Ewwwww!" -- Julia Frizzell

"Someone was fond of crocodiles." -- GM to the group, on the strange 'dogs'
"Crocodogs." -- Michael Schloss

"What makes a place a place and not a not place?" -- Morgenstern
"I agree!" -- Dworkin

"Our terms are, 777 days, 7 months, 7 days, and 777 years." -- Veldt to ?

"777 days...." -- Veldt
"Good." -- Oberon
"777 risings and settings of the sun." -- Morgenstern
"I'm aware of that." -- Oberon

"Lean Times in Amber" by Chris Kindred

This is the city. Amber. A hotbed of intrigue, magic, swashbuckling adventure, and intrigue. It's a good place to live. And an easy place to die.

A game of swashbuckling noir.

Cast of Characters

Sol Foster:Sean O'Donovan, Captain in the Royal Navy
Bill Gulstad:Ambrose, Commodore-High Mage of the Southern Fleet
Kevin Hudson:Father Beyron
D.J. Hyland:Lord Varien San Oceal
Sarah Kindred:Detective Crown Investigator Abigail Irene Garritt
Mike Manolakes:Raoul
Jill Pritts:Genevieve Dumas, agent of Amber's Secret Service
Liz Trumitch:Juliana Pinegar, Duchess of Carlisle
Rae Williams:Chastity, brothel madame

"If I find out my husband is a crazy nuthouse who murders prostitutes, there's going to be an issue." -- Juliana to the group

"On Her Majesty's Secret Service 2: SerpentEye" by J.P. Brannan and Ian Ng

Once again Queen Moire has called upon her Secret Service to sort things out. But will even the elite agents of the Gemini Section, licensed to kill or be killed in the line of duty, be able to stop a scheme this far-reaching?

Cast of Characters

Kris Fazzari:Cala Mari AKA Gemini 12
Rick Garman:Quinton Cryer AKA Gemini 3
Just John:Sylvia AKA Bubbles AKA Gemini 11
Sean McCabe:Skip AKA Octavian AKA Gemini 8
Tony Pi:Jonah AKA Gemini 12π
Jim Smith:Eston AKA Gemini 13

"You have several approaches. You could sneak into castle Amber and ask to see their Jewel." -- GM J.P. to the group
"Can we see the family jewels?" -- GM Ian

"Isn't morgue security usually pretty light?" -- Cala Mari
"Well, people are dying to get in." -- Eston

"What do we know about the Jewel of Judgment?" -- Bubbles
"Well, it has vast, cosmic power." -- GM Ian
"Itty, bitty living space." -- Rick Garman

"So do the insects do anything besides eat?" -- Rick Garman
"Nope, just eat and excrete." -- GM J.P.
"Is that like fire and forget? Eat and excrete?" -- Rick Garman

"Maybe this is not a fire and forget weapon." -- Quinton
"We'll know soon enough." -- Eston

"OK, your balls go flying off." -- GM J.P. to Octavian
"I'm following his balls." -- Quinton

"The steps are all icy." -- GM Ian to Eston
"I could help you with that, but I'd have to light your pants on fire." -- Octavian

"You hear nothing." -- GM Ian
"Well, I can't fire at nothing." -- Quinton
"Why not? The rest of us are." -- Eston

"I have a burning sensation when I pee!" -- GM Ian to the group, speaking for Dara after she's had a bladder release power word used on her, followed by a spell to set her pants on fire

"What's (Dara) do now, lactate?" -- Bubbles to Octavian, after Octavian casts another spell on Dara

"I want to make sure she never produces another Merlin again." -- Kris Fazzari, speaking for Quinton after he fires at Dara's abdomen
"Stop her, quick, before she produces another series!" -- Jim Smith

Slot 5

"The Cost of Going Home Again" by Sarah Kindred

Dark, insubstantial forms haunt the passageways of an Amber not quite as you left it, and strange voices echo down the corridors. Play the Elder Amberite of your choice in a game that answers the eternal question, "Can you go home again...and is it worth the price?"

Cast of Characters

Elissa Ayadi:Brand/Brand/Gérard/Corwin/Benedict
Michael Curry:Benedict/Llewella/Benedict/Random/Corwin
Kris Fazzari:Juliana/Blaise/Juliana/Blaise/Juliana
Sol Foster:Caine/Gérard/Brand/Brand/Fiona
Julia Frizzell:Llewella/Eric/Eric/Llewella/Eric
Alan Glover:Eric/Fiona/Llewella/Caine/Deirdre
D.J. Hyland:Bleys/Deirdre/Corwin/Eric/Brand
Mike Manolakes:Corwin/Benedict/Bleys/Benedict/Bleys
Rebekah Morales:Fiona/Random/Random/Julian/Llewella
Jill Pritts:Deidre (no, that's not a typo)/Julian/Caine/Deidre/Caine
Mark Richardson:Gérard/Caine/Deirdre/Gérard/Gérard
Rae Williams:Random/Corwin/Fiona/Fiona/Random

"As long as Gérard wears pants, we're all set." -- Julia Frizzell
"I think you read a different version of the novels than we did." -- Mark Richardson

"Somebody poke Random, he's drunk again." -- GM
"Random's problem is that he gets poked too often." -- Kris Fazzari

"If you shoot me in the throat in this game, I'll kill you." -- Brand to Caine

"(Am I) king in this setting?" -- Eric
"I don't know, do you want to be?" -- GM
"Of course!" -- Eric

"With Bleys, the question isn't, 'Is he in bed with anyone else...'" -- Kris Fazzari
"'s how many." -- the rest of the group

"I have my ladies with me, of course." -- Llewella to GM
"So do I." -- Bleys

"Appear inscrutable. Unless you're going on a killing rage." -- Sol Foster to the group, explaining his Hong Kong Caine's motto

"Deirdre's Deirdre." -- Juliana to GM
"No she isn't. She has black and silver skin." -- Jill Pritts
"OK, that's different." -- Kris Fazzari
"And her name is Deidre." -- GM
"She lost a consonant when she fell into the Abyss." -- Jill Pritts

"Eric, something strange is going on. You have to do something about it." -- Benedict to Eric, deadpan

"If you stick your hand (by Greyswandir's point), you notice a very cold sensation." -- GM
"I don't think (that's going to happen). Mamma didn't raise no stupid children." -- Blaise

"Does it count as incest if you sleep with yourself?" -- Brand
"No, that's masturbation." -- GM

"I'm getting a woody. I don't know why." -- Blaise to the group, getting an unexpected memory of being male

"I attempt to stop (Corwin from stabbing Gérard) if I notice it. Let me check my warfare." -- Benedict to GM

"Who are you trying to kill in here?" -- Llewella
"Everyone." -- Corwin
"Who have you killed already?" -- Llewella
"Only Brand." -- Corwin
"Oh, that's all right then." -- everyone

"Let's go find Chaos!" -- Fiona
"Where do you find Chaos?" -- Julian
"Probably in the Pattern room." -- Fiona

"The Benedict that's preparing to go to Chaos disappears in a puff of logic." -- GM to the group

"Stop Trumping people!" -- GM
"But it's the only thing I know how to do!" -- Brand

"Corwin is walking the Pattern again." -- GM
"It was either that, or kill the entire family." -- Corwin

"Are you Deidre or Deirdre?" -- GM to Jill Pritts
"Yes!" -- D.J. Hyland

"Brand, for the sake of experimentation, Trumps up to the Primal Pattern and bleeds on it." -- Elissa Ayadi to the group

"Gaslight and Shadows" by Chris Kindred

Fog-shrouded streets. Mysteries. Romance. Infernal Devices. Duels. Coronation Balls. The game's afoot!

Cast of Characters

Matthew Andrews:Argus Wilverton, mad scientist
J.P. Brannan:Sir Alistair Webb, Royal Geographic Society
Shawn Dorsey:Professor Hark Mere of Arkham's Miskatonic University, Professor of Ancient Languages, on loan to Oxford
Bill Gulstad:Edgar Marsh, librarian
Jennifer Jackson:Lady Felicity Decameron, historian
Sean McCabe:Caw, assistant to mad scientist

"This was a quiet Victorian game involving mist...and then there were players." -- GM to the group, looking overwhelmed

"Argus always walks around with a strange squeaking sound because all his clothes are made of rubber." -- GM to the group
"And that's not because of the electricity." -- Sean McCabe

"Despite me being in my 30's, and my father's insistence that I should settle down, I am not going to currently pursue Felicity's hidden secrets." -- Sir Alistair Webb to GM

"The rate of wiggliness is inversely proportional to the bounciness of the object. For example, rubber has almost no etheric wiggliness whatsoever. Just imagine what you could do with that!" -- Argus, explaining his Theory of Etheric Wiggliness
"There are special places where there are rooms that are entirely unwiggily. You might be very comfortable there." -- Edgar

"But she could have killed him with a regular hairpin." -- Sean McCabe, after Felicity throws a poisoned hairpin at a guard, killing him instantly
"But the poison is a nice touch. I've never heard of anyone dying by poison hairpin before. And the impressive part is that she wore them in her hair." -- GM
"Well, I've spent years building up an immunity to..." -- Jennifer Jackson
"...iocaine hair powder." -- GM

"Felicity...the socialite with no apparent skills...." -- GM, before Felicity picks the lock, and again before the hairpin incident, and again...and again....

"While I was initially not interested in pursuing Felicity, I must admit there is a certain appeal to a woman who is booby trapped." -- Alistair to ?

"All mad science eventually comes down to the zapping." -- GM, J.P. Brannan, and Matthew Andrews, at various times

"They're really good for an elite foreign conspiracy force, but in no way can they stand up to an historian and an archaeologist." -- GM to the group, commenting on the enemy forces

"I'm going to hop on a fat man and ride it." -- Argus to ?

"And now Caw has been shot, stabbed, and electrocuted...takes a licking and keeps on ticking." -- GM to the group

"He must be the Evil Overlord, he has a large hat." -- Argus
"My God, look at the size of that thing." -- Alistair
"Oh great, now we have hat envy." -- GM, as he bemoans the defeat of villain Dr. Fu Manchu

Slot 6

"On Her Majesty's Secret Service 3: Tir Raker" by J.P. Brannan

Once again Queen Moire has called upon her Secret Service to sort things out. But will even the elite agents of the Gemini Section, licensed to kill or be killed in the line of duty, be able to stop a scheme this far-reaching?

Cast of Characters

Kris Fazzari:Cala Mari AKA Gemini 12
Rick Garman:Quinton Cryer AKA Gemini 3
Sean McCabe:Skip AKA Octavian AKA Gemini 8
Ian Ng:Mary Widow AKA Gemini 99
Anton North:John Blake AKA Gemini 45

"So, what is the mission?" -- John Blake, coming out of his bedroom
"The mission is you're getting a debriefing." -- Cala Mari
"I think that already happened." -- Octavian

"It's not often that I get to play a lech." -- Anton North
"You did so well the last time." -- Ian Ng
"There was a goat involved in that one." -- Anton North

"We're ready to infiltrate the hanger." -- Octavian to the group
"That sounds like a double-entendre." -- Kris Fazzari
"Only if it's coming from Blake." -- Sean McCabe

"You're making a gun-shaped sedative?" -- GM to Octavian

"We'd like there to be no shootings, no killings." -- Cala Mari
"No pants being set on fire?" -- GM
"Of course, the last time Anton was on a zero-body-count mission, everybody died." -- Sean McCabe

"I just don't think it would be a good idea to blind my compatriots and run away." -- Octavian to the group

"A motorcycle appears beneath Quinton." -- Rick Garman to Anton North
"He just pulled a motorcycle out of his ass." -- Kris Fazzari

"Is that a motorcycle in your pants?" -- Octavian to Quinton, after Quinton's motorcycle disappears from under him
"They don't call them crotch rockets for nothing." -- Anton North

"As I recall, your balls don't think." -- GM
"No, but they have extraordinary psychic sense and can take orders." -- Octavian

"You won't be able to light a magical force's pants on fire." -- Quinton
"No, but I can take off my own pants and throw them at the magical forces." -- Octavian

"Let's see you get through that lock." -- Cala Mari
"I could've! I'd just wrap my pants around the lock and...." -- Octavian

"Yes, you've made some outstanding choices, in that we're continuing with the adventure now instead of stopping." -- GM to the group

"We're in handcuffs? What kind of handcuffs?" -- Mary Widow
"They're not fur-lined, if that's what you're asking." -- GM

"Between you and me, there's only one attribute you're not bottom in." -- GM to Octavian, the stabbed, dazed and dislocated
"I hope it's Endurance." -- Kris Fazzari

"So (Octavian) has fast, versatile balls that are specialized in bonking?" -- Kris Fazzari to Sean McCabe

"I have to comment that I thought the end of the game would have been more satisfying than using Sean's balls." -- Anton North to the group

"The Witch-King of Avalon" by Chris Kindred

"Do you not recall the stories of the demon lordling?" - Lancelot

"Children are not named Corwin in this place." - Benedict

"They still tell stories of how the Lord Corwin had my grandfather executed - drawn and quartered publicly - for leading one of the early uprisings against him." - Lorraine

"Beyond the River of the Blessed, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Avalon." - Corwin

Cast of Characters

Matthew Andrews:Pendruic
Kirt Dankmyer:Agravaine
Sol Foster:Captain Faris
Julia Frizzell:Wynne
Doug Graham:Paramurd
Sarah Kindred:Maledysaunte
Jill Pritts:Lady Siofra
Jim Smith:Sir Justin of Blackwood

"If I get to write the history books...." -- Maledysaunte to ?
"They're sitting over there on the shelf, the ink's still drying!" -- Jim Smith

"Maledysaunte. Evil Witch. By Appointment Only." -- Jim Smith to the group

"I know who wears the pants in that household...." -- Jim Smith
"Yeah, Faris!" -- Sarah Kindred and Julia Frizzell

"Avalon, with its many creatively named woods." -- GM
"There's one up to the north named Sam." -- Jim Smith
<Sarah Kindred spit-takes water across the room>

"No hunting across the border." -- Sarah Kindred
"Unless you're hunting cabbages." -- GM
"Well, the King has ordered coleslaw for his table...." -- Jim Smith

"I've met lots of ladies." -- Wynne to ?
"Briefly." -- Jim Smith

"What's the Avalon word for zombie?" -- Sarah Kindred to GM

"You have Backstreet Boy blue eyes?! 10 points of bad stuff and go stand in the corner!!" -- GM, on reading Pendruic's sheet
"Yes." -- Matthew Andrews
"You're a Goth!" -- Sarah Kindred
"I'm ROLE PLAYING!" -- Matthew Andrews

"There is a horse at the curb with the keys in the saddle." -- Jim Smith to ?

"Agravaine, off you go, into the plot...." -- GM
"And you were never seen again!" -- Julia Frizzell
"I hear there are nice cabbages in the plot." -- Jim Smith

"An apple drops from the (elm) tree for the carving spirit." -- Maledysaunte
"Okay...." -- GM, confused
"It means yes." -- Maledysaunte
"Don't you know, one apple for yes, two for no." -- Sol Foster

"I'm not trying to kill you, just anyone who is sucking on you." -- Sarah Kindred to Jill Pritts

"She was very perfunctory." -- Agravaine to ?, on Maledysaunte

"When Corwin is dead, I am going to age not-so-gracefully, eat lots of fat babies, and in the fullness of time, go gracefully into the hell that awaits me." -- Maledysaunte to ?

"You have no way of knowing if (Lady Siofra) is not evil, so don't go to any great lengths to save me." -- Jill Pritts
"We're not looking to save you, we're using you for bait." -- Julia Frizzell

"(Faris) has bagged her limit. One more righteous dead and the game wardens come and take her away." -- Jim Smith to the group

"The ax doesn't quite take his head off." -- GM to Maledysaunte
"Now he's Nearly-Headless Corwin." -- Sarah Kindred

"Faris is like..." -- Sol Foster
"...Will Scarlet with tits." -- Sarah Kindred

Slot 7

"Blaze of Glory 7" by Sol Foster

Bleys' private Shadow is a playground of swashbuckling adventure. Bleys has been sighted in a backwater prison cell. Can our heroes get to him before his enemies do?

Cast of Characters

J.P. Brannan:Ewan Burnett, AKA "The Worst Sailor in the Guard"
David de Jong:Randal Leslie Ralthpepper
Anne Devlin:Marian Ravenwood
Kris Fazzari:Lorianne, AKA "The Pirate Queen"
Julia Frizzell:Eloise St. Vire
Bill Gulstad:Cyrano Savinien Hercule de Bergerac
Jennifer Jackson:Zoe
Kendra Jamieson:Ester
Chris Kindred:Li
Sarah Kindred:Baroness Victoria Bastable
R.F. McCaughey:Yves St. Laurant-Seaway
Jeff Trumitch:Wesley Roberts
Liz Trumitch:Jayne Green, AKA "Plain Jayne"
Edwin Voskamp:Lord Dagincourt, Sir Jeffery de Goulon AKA "The Gray Ghost"

"As you're sitting around doing nothing, the alarm goes off." -- GM to the group
"I reach over and hit the snooze." -- Lorianne

"What do I do? Mostly I throw enormous parties." -- Jeffery to the group
"He must be very strong." -- J.P. Brannan

"That is...stupid." -- Edwin Voskamp
"Welcome to Blaze of Glory." -- Sarah Kindred
"We call it acceptable risk-taking." -- Liz Trumitch
"The Sharks call it promotional opportunity." -- Chris Kindred

"I try to land with minimal casualties to myself." -- Jayne to GM
"A change in her normal plan." -- R.F. McCaughey
"No, no, she said to herself." -- Chris Kindred

"(Amos) had better be unconscious, or I'm going to kill him." -- Jayne to the group

"That's my plan." -- Jayne to GM
"To throw the massively wounded person in the sand? Good plan." -- Edwin Voskamp

"I'm putting (Bleys' signet ring) away in a safe place." -- Jayne to GM
<Sarah Kindred motions as if to drop something down her shirt>
"That's not a safe place." -- Edwin Voskamp

"Am I injured in any way?" -- Jayne
"No." -- GM
"Those are the same injuries you've always had." -- R.F. McCaughey
"Mental illness doesn't count." -- Liz Trumitch

"We can sell down attributes? Hang on a second...." -- J.P. Brannan to GM

"We don't have a code or something? 'I met some women in hot red dresses. You know what that means.'?" -- Jayne
"Yeah, it means (Amos) found a whorehouse." -- GM

"You wouldn't have thought of this, probably." -- GM
"But now I have." -- Zoe

"Didn't we have a zeppelin in the last adventure? What happened to it." -- Kris Fazzari
"It blew up." -- Jeff Trumitch
"What happens to all of our equipment?" -- Chris Kindred
"It blows up." -- Jeff Trumitch

"France's economy is in a major depression right now. That depression is named 'Philippe.'" -- GM to the group

"Obviously all they need is an evil overlord to unite them." -- Chris Kindred
"Are you volunteering?" -- GM
"No, but I figured someone in this group would." -- Chris Kindred

"Before we blow the place to hell, we should probably try to get Bleys out." -- Lorianne to the group

"Ewan is the worst sailor in the guard." -- J.P. Brannan
"Let's see if he's the worst swimmer in the guard." -- Jeff Trumitch

"They're all off helping Philippe built the wine pipeline to England." -- Chris Kindred, explaining where the missing players are
"No, because if that was true, Rámon would be attached to the side sucking the wine out." -- Kris Fazzari
"That's why it's taking so long to finish!" -- Chris Kindred

"It's a well-kept secret that everybody knows." -- Kris Fazzari to the group

"Jayne is very good at getting men to throw their lives away for her." -- Kris Fazzari
"Some of them live." -- Liz Trumitch
"Two!" -- Sarah Kindred

"Jeffery occasionally dresses up like a real lord." -- Edwin Voskamp
"You mean he sometimes wears clothes?" -- Kris Fazzari

"(Li's) inscrutable." -- Chris Kindred
"That just makes him a challenge." -- Sarah Kindred

"I would never touch your statue. A man's statue is a private thing." -- Chris Kindred to Edwin Voskamp

"Do you ever feel like you've lost control of your game?" -- Kendra Jamieson
"I never felt like I had control of my game." -- GM

"So his uncle is Insidious Li and you are Inscrutable Li?" -- Kris Fazzari to Chris Kindred

"Bleys isn't dead." -- Liz Trumitch
"Yet." -- Kris Fazzari
"That's because we haven't tried to rescue him yet." -- Chris Kindred

"From the mysterious and inscrutable country of Canada we have Yves St. Laurant-Seaway." -- R.F. McCaughey to the group

"I knew that wasn't Bleys, he didn't smell right." -- Jayne to the group

"Even though he likes airplanes, (Yves) growls at them because Captain Wesley doesn't like them." -- R.F. McCaughey to the group, taking hero worship to a new level

"I'm subtle without the elephants." -- Victoria to the group

"We're bringing in lots of ferocious creatures like mercats and emus." -- Victoria to the group

"I have a disguise. I have my mask." -- Wesley to the group

"So we're hoping to fool them into thinking that we're the subtle team." -- Ewan
"Right, so they won't be looking for the real subtle team." -- Lorianne

"Are we going to have the circus stop and do actual performances?" -- Ester
"No, because we're supposed to be discovered. If we do actual performances they might be fooled into thinking that we're a real circus." -- Lorianne

"Are we taking planes?" -- Wesley
"Of course we are. What good circus doesn't have an air show?" -- Lorianne

"My God, (Randal) is like the Spider. 'Let me alter the plan in such a way that I'm nowhere near the rest of you.'" -- Kris Fazzari
"Isn't that a good idea?" -- David de Jong
"With this group? Yes!" -- Jennifer Jackson

"Excuse me? Did I hear you correctly? It's been eight months since we killed Bleys?" -- David de Jong to GM

"When they see our ships coming at them through the forest, they'll know they're in trouble." -- Bill Gulstad to the group

"You have to give the Sharks an inspirational speech before we leave." -- Lorianne to Jayne
"And when you do, it's not a good idea to refer to them as fodder." -- Wesley

"Marion successfully defends the brandy." -- Anne Devlin to GM

"Get him drunk and then you'll talk the same language." -- Eloise to Marion, on how to interrogate a prisoner

"Besides, if we don't provoke them to attack us, how can we ever kill them?" -- Cyrano to the group

"Take us to your leader." -- Jeffery to the guards
"We're from England, not Mars." -- Cyrano

"Hey, if I can't see the cannons that are waiting for me at the top of the hill, you can't see the cannons on my elephant." -- Victoria to GM

"I strip down to my loincloth, take out the gray body paint and...." -- Jeffery to GM, on his battle preparations

"Do not let Jayne have the inflatable Bleys decoy!" -- Eloise to the group
"Well, where do you think (Randal) got it?" -- Chris Kindred

"I don't care, they do this in the movies all the time. It's very dramatic." -- Chris Kindred to GM, trying to do a difficult move

"But elephants can swim!" -- Chris Kindred
"Not down a waterfall!" -- Sarah Kindred

"It's a one-story building, you can just run down the elephant." -- Victoria to Jayne

"(Victoria) made the secret 'Psst.'" -- Kris Fazzari
"And even though (Lorianne) can't see (her), (she) makes the secret hand signal." -- Sarah Kindred

"I've left the plane." -- Li
"Do you use a parachute?" -- GM
"If I have to, but I figured I could martial-arts my way down to the ground." -- Li

"I rip (the old Gypsy man's) beard off." -- Victoria to GM
"And with her strength she can, whether it was real or not." -- Chris Kindred

"Princes at the End of Time" by Kirt Dankmyer

Corwin and the others have returned to Amber after Patternfall. A strange...portal...has appeared over the Pattern. Dworkin says it's a "temporal anomaly" but refuses to investigate because "temporal distortion gives me sour-tummy." It falls to a small cabal of Elders to investigate, and stop the portal from draining away all of the Pattern's energy....

This is a crossover between Amber and Michael Moorcock's funny and satirical "Dancers at the End of Time" series.

Cast of Characters

Elissa Ayadi:Brand
D.J. Hyland:Julian
Kevin Hudson:Deirdre
Just John:Benedict
Fiona Morales:Fiona
Lisa Prince:Flora
Michael Schloss:Eric
Jim Smith:Llewella

"You've got a lot of explaining to do, which I will then ignore." -- Benedict to a newly alive Brand

"Actually he's playing a hellhound and Julian is an ally." -- Jim Smith to the group, referring to D.J. Hyland?

"I try to stab the ground." -- Benedict
"You succeed, the ground bleeds." -- GM

"I try to stab the ground." -- Brand to GM
"The ground has higher warfare than you do. It dodges, you miss." -- D.J. Hyland

"Julian takes off at engine speed towards the mountain." -- D.J. Hyland
"And Morgenstern follows him." -- Michael Schloss

"What do we want?"
"When do we want it?" -- GM as The Zombie Horde
"BRAINS!" -- the entire room

"Darn, they regenerate from their armpits." -- Benedict to the group, after he cuts people's hands off and they grow back

"Benedict stabs the wall. Does the stabbing of the wall produce any unusual results?" -- Just John to GM

"Julian shoots Werther through the heart and the throat." -- D.J. Hyland to GM
"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" -- Brand

"I was thinking there might be an original Werther around here somewhere." -- Fiona
"She's looking for a Werther's Original." -- Brand

Kris' home page | Kris' RPG page

Counter  Hellriders have passed through here since November 14, 2001.

Done by Kris Fazzari.

Game descriptions taken from the AmberCon North 2001 Game Book.

Quotes taken by myself, Julia Frizzell, Rick Garman, D.J. Hyland, Jennifer Jackson, Chris Kindred, R.F. McCaughey and Michael Schloss

Last modified on April 14, 2009 by Kris Fazzari.

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