AmberCon North 2003 Quotes

Slot 1

"Amberites of the Caribbean" by Matt Andrews and Sean McCabe

Yarr. Ye be scurvy pirates, sailing the waters of Shadow, looking for rum, booty, and, well, booty. But something be different of late, and there be strange things amongst those blue waters....

Cast of Characters

Captain Caine Barbossa's crew
Kris Fazzari:Lorian, daughter of Corwin and Moire
Rebekah Morales:Merenue
Rae Williams:Yeager

Captain Corwin Sparrow's crew
Dan Arthur:Roylan
William Gulstad:Nearly Dead Ned
Alicia McEvoy-Replogle:Jess
Liz Wilson:Bess T. Wench

"See, this is why we didn't have a plot. We were just going to let Matt prance around (as Corwin Sparrow)." -- GM Sean to the group

"Caine's crew - working perfectly. Corwin's crew - missing body parts." -- GM Sean to the group

"We need to catch up (to Caine's ship). Any ideas?" -- Corwin
"Did we put the sails up?" -- Nearly Dead Ned
"I knew I forgot something." -- Corwin

"We need to upgrade our wind." -- Lorian
"Pass out the beans!" -- GM Matt

"When I'm given a task, I concentrate." -- Yeager
"I admire a man who can focus." -- Lorian

"Anyone else, while I've got it out?" -- Yeager to the group

"Corwin just realized that he has a crew in the hold." -- Kris Fazzari
"Let them out of the closet, Matt." -- GM Sean
"Nobody's in the closet on Captain Sparrow's ship." -- Rebekah Morales

"Yes, it's ambiguously gay Corwin and his band of merry men." -- GM Sean to the group

"I'll try to turn our ship broadside to them." -- Nearly Dead Ned
"That's the entirety of your plan?" -- GM Sean
"Well, some guns are supposed to go off at some point." -- Nearly Dead Ned

"Let's go on to plan three." -- GM Sean
"There was a plan one and two?" -- Kris Fazzari
"What do you think (throwing) the anchor was?" -- GM Matt
"Desperation?" -- Kris Fazzari

"I'm fighting with (my right) hand, and the other one is behind my back." -- Bess disguised as Cynder
"Doesn't Cynder have a hook for his right hand?" -- GM Sean
"Oh crap, I forgot about that." -- Bess

"My sword is probably stuck to my hand now (since it's covered in glue). At least no one can disarm me." -- Yeager to GM
"No, no one can take away your sword." -- William Gulstad

"Yoink." -- GM Matt, speaking for Bess as she grabs for the map
"Pirates do not say 'Yoink.'" -- William Gulstad

"You may be unaware of this, but the point is to get your crew to survive." -- GM Sean to Corwin

"Prehensile plot." -- Rae Williams
"No matter how hard you try to run away from it, it reaches out and grabs you." -- Rebekah Morales

"You land." -- GM Sean to Corwin
"With a blade sticking out of a part of your anatomy." -- Kris Fazzari
"Not an important part." -- GM Sean
"Must be in his head." -- Kris Fazzari

"What is...where...who?" -- Bess
"Would you care to settle on just one question?" -- Adrian

"Quick, we must remove Caine's pants!" -- Kris Fazzari
"This looks like a job for Bess T. Wench!" -- Liz Wilson

"So, everyone seems to be pinned down by flying gold. Do you have any grand plans besides, 'Duck,' Corwin?" -- GM Sean to Corwin

"You're being made to walk the plank. Only there's no ocean and no plank." -- Rebekah to Corwin

"Do something subtle. Blow everything up!" -- GM Sean to the group, speaking for Yeager

Slot 2

"Tall Tales of Pattern and Shadow" by Jack Gulick

It was Bleys that started it, although later Corwin and Eric argued for credit themselves. A stormy night in Castle Amber, Oberon in a dark mood and his children under orders to await his pleasure, stuck in dull eventlessness.

What better, now, to do than to trade lies?

A "Baron Munchausen"-inspired game of Elder Braggadocio in a pre-Patternfall era.

Cast of Characters

Matt Andrews:Brand
Jennifer Jackson:Deirdre
Sean McCabe:Corwin
Tymen VanDyk:Caine
Liz Wilson:Moire
Mark Wizynajtys:Julian

"So I lead them on a merry chase..." -- Caine to the group, at various points throughout the evening

"So the Shadow took out half the ghost ships, but lost their fleet. And I removed one of Amber's problems." -- Caine
"Very timely, considering that Father had just signed a treaty with them." -- Deirdre

"The very sad story of my pet frog...Hoppy, all started when I met Queen Moire. I was down in Rebma fishing. It's easier because you can see the fish." -- Corwin to the group

"When Oberon called me back, I was interviewing dogs..." -- Julian to the group

"In gratitude for his splinters, I gave him one of my guard frogs." -- Moire to ?

"As I rode closer, my horse turned into a flying sheep. As horses are wont to do." -- Brand
"Are you sure you weren't dreaming?" -- Caine
" dreams are much stranger than that." -- Brand

"In yet another bid to save the Universe, which is what I do. Frequently." -- Brand to the group

"And saved the universe..." -- Brand, repeatedly
" is his wont." -- various others, repeatedly

"Many years ago, last week..." -- several people, at various points as the time line became more twisty

"Centuries ago, earlier today..." -- Corwin to the group

"Buried the first mate's dog..." -- Caine
"Taking up valuable space in our pet cemetery." -- Julian
"It's a very large pet cemetery." -- Caine
"To your left is the Hall of Hamsters." -- Brand

"Undead weasels who come down your chimney and give you gifts." -- Sean McCabe, after it was discovered that the sorcerer in red which Brand turned into a weasel which was subsequently killed and then resurrected as an undead guard weasel was originally Santa Claus
"Small children at the mall sitting on a dead weasel's lap." -- GM

"Having no sailors with me, I..." -- Caine
"...ran away?" -- Deirdre
"No, no -- I never run away. I just move to a better place." -- Caine
"Lead them on a merry chase." -- Julian

"We went to ask the pygmies. But they were busy having a party and eating s'mores being roasted by a dragon. With excellent chocolate. And great graham crackers. The marshmallows were only so-so." -- Corwin
"Deirdre has not yet quested for the one true marshmallow." -- GM

"They really underestimated the might of the Rebman frog army." -- Corwin to the group

"Why do you suppose the red-headed stranger always wears a blue dress?" -- Deirdre
"I'm not entirely sure." -- Caine
"Because the flying sheep can hear a zipper a mile away." -- Deirdre
"Oh, perhaps I was mistaken in believing it not to be Brand." -- Caine

"I'm uncertain as to where the one true marshmallow is, but I'm beginning to think Brand is keeping it from you." -- Caine
"Someday I will knock you to the bottom of the Abyss for this." -- Deirdre to Brand

"As I was running away, I realized it was, in fact, a pig, and it said 'Sorry I stole your marshmallow.'" -- Corwin to the group

"Corwin's crew? Missing body parts." -- Sean McCabe
"Caine's crew? Perfect every time." -- Tymen VanDyk
"Because Caine's crew is brand new every time." -- Jennifer Jackson

"How did you distract the Jabberwock?" -- Corwin
"With a zipping sound." -- GM
"Which of course set off a stampede of flying sheep." -- Brand

Slot 3

"Amber: The West Wing... 20 Hours in Chaos" by J.P. Brannan

Players will adopt the roles of the senior staff who take up the important business of running Amber while that fickle lot of princes are off mounting their own petty intrigues.

Cast of Characters

Michael Curry:Josh
Jennifer Jackson:C.J.

"The sky is a very pleasing shade of different colors." -- GM to ?, describing Chaos

"The senior warlord of Hendrake does not generally wear a pink dress." -- GM
"Serving tea in black leather works so much better." -- C.J.

"I'll just be hiding under my bed for a while." -- Josh

"Blood's Price" by Craig Sparling

It is said that when Benedict was little more than a sapling, Oberon and Finndo quarreled. The King then sent Finndo and Osric to a hopeless battle. Against the odds, the two princes were victorious. Rumors never fully silenced speak of a betrayal, organized by a wrathful father under a strange sky many Shadows from home. No Princes came home.

The hand that struck with the long knife, buried the prince with two silver marks on his eyes. His Blood Curse, if any, lost to the ears of time.

The land has changed. The King has Changed. Armies have come to her borders, and been swept aside. The Kingdom in perpetuity, but things are not well.

The paths through Shadow have grown darker. There are more dangerous beasts prowling the old paths. Shipping is being hampered by storms on the sea lanes. Julian, himself, reported seeing a Dragon, for the first time since after Corwin's eyes were put out.

Cast of Characters

Kris Fazzari:Delilah, daughter of Caine and Lilith
Edwin Voskamp:Garwyn, son of Llewella
Jennifer Woelke:Inanna, daughter of Osric

"Damn it, I am being punished. What did I do?" -- Inanna
"You chose a Chaos character in an Amber-centered game." -- GM

"Since you last saw (Benedict), he's lost his left eye to something clawlike, and he's still missing his right arm." -- GM
"Did he have another affair?" -- Garwyn

Slot 4

"The Bloody Grievance: Legacy" by R.F. McCaughey

Your father, Oberon, is a determined man carving a kingdom out of a beautiful wild country. In the Restless Sea, Oberon's ally and best friend, Lir, has gathered the Lost Sea-Tribes of the Athanor. On Kolvir, foundations for a stronger, grander fortification are underway. In the forested range of western mountains, the marauding Dragon, Arden, forays into the outlying precincts of Amber.

Cymnea is in labor, Oberon at her side. The mage Dworkin is wandering somewhere. Benedict, age 10, and Osric, age 5, have vanished.

The Dragon Arden has been extremely agitated since the battle that destroyed the volcano---is this the Dragon's vengeance? Or have those odd Chaosians kidnapped the boys? Find out. Find them. And don't be late for the party celebrating the birth of Oberon's new son, to be named Finndo.

Cast of Characters

Matt Andrews:Auberon, son of Oberon and Queen Mab of Faerie
Anne Devlin:Syrene, leader of one of the Lost Sea Tribes of the Athanor
Kris Fazzari:Lilith, winged daughter of Oberon
Sol Foster:Finbar, son of Oberon
Glen Seymour:Cally, four-armed daughter of Oberon
Liz Trumitch:Prowl, cat-like fifth child of Oberon
Rae Williams:Orenda, daughter of Oberon
Jennifer Woelke:Yazabel, volcano-dwelling daughter of Oberon

"(Amber's) a perfect frontier world. Destruction is rewarded. Knowledge is penalized." -- GM to the group

"Now we just have to find something to throw at (the manticore)." -- Lilith, flying above it while holding Finbar
"OK, you can put me down now." -- Finbar

"You are now in charge of this." -- Morgenstern, indicating the castle building grounds
"What is our goal for today?" -- Cally
"Finish it." -- Morgenstern

"Now how do we convince Oberon?" -- Lir
"We just don't tell him." -- Syrene

"I wonder why there are clouds that look like the volcano way out here in Shadow?" -- Lilith
"It's probably a sign that the world's ending. Just ignore it." -- Finbar

"(Cymnea's) fine, she had another soft one with ridges." -- Lilith to Oberon
"We named him 'Ruffles.'" -- Jennifer Woelke

"On Her Majesty's Secret Service 5: You Only Llive Twice" by J.P. Brannan

Once again Queen Moire has called upon her Secret Service to sort things out. But will even the elite agents of Gemini Section, licensed to kill or be killed in the line of duty, be able to stop a scheme this far-reaching?

Cast of Characters

Michael Curry:Devlin
Jennifer Jackson:Harmony
Mike Manolakes:Andreas
Sean McCabe:Skip AKA Octavian AKA Gemini 8

"It would be nice if the agents who took Llewella were dumber than us." -- Jennifer Jackson
"You want everything." -- GM
"Do you mean us collectively or individually?" -- Sean McCabe

"Stop making me be C.J." -- Jennifer Jackson, referring to the West Wing character of the same universe
"Okay, continue to be blow-up girl." -- Sean McCabe
"I'm still stuck on blow-up girl." -- GM, five minutes later
"Great - (Octavian's) the guy with the balls, and I'm the blow-up girl." -- Jennifer Jackson

"Beware of fish men." -- Octavian, sending a cryptic message to other spy team

Slot 5

"And All Our Yesterdays Have Lighted Fools" by Rae Williams

The Patternfall War has been over for a few years Amber time. Eric died fighting the creatures from the Black Road; Brand and Deirdre took a dive into the Abyss; Random is King; Vialle is Queen; and everything is as it should be. But, as in any Amber game, things are never that easy. If I tell anymore, it may give away too much. The idea for this scenario was created on a dare last year, made by Tymen VanDyk.

Cast of Characters

J.P. Brannan:Fletcher, son of Benedict
Kris Fazzari:Juliana, daughter of Julian
Sol Foster:Faris, daughter of Fiona
Mike Minolakes:Edmond, son of Corwin
Tymen VanDyk:Uriel, son of Benedict

"Are there any pretty guests who are hurt at all?" -- Fletcher
"There are a few." -- GM
"I'll help them." -- Fletcher
"So basically you're only helping the pretty ones." -- Sol Foster
"He's performing triage. 'Pretty. Not pretty.'" -- Mike Minolakes

"Is anyone not going to the Green Room?" -- GM
"Is anyone color blind?" -- J.P. Brannan

"When there are women to be grabbed, Bleys is always there to help." -- J.P. Brannan to the group

Slot 6

"Agents of the Argent Rose: The City That Never Sleeps" by R.F. McCaughey

France. The year is 1923. An age of wonder and contentment has come upon the world. The modern vision of great bards like Jules Verne has begun to see realization. The world hub for artistry, genius, and innovation is the banks of the river Seine. Paris.

You have been asked to go with Corwin to New York City, America, where the Statue of Liberty is being rededicated. Public purpose, entertain the Americans out of their isolationist policies. Private purpose, spend a night on Broadway and keep gran-pa-pa out of trouble.

Cast of Characters

Corwin's grandchildren
J.P. Brannan:William, son of Dion, artist (pen and ink)
Anne Devlin:Cloe, daughter of Dion, explosives expert
Kris Fazzari:Melisande, daughter of Dion, artist (watercolors/prismacolors)
Sol Foster:Seamus, son of Dion, flautist
Mike Minolakes:Raoul, son of Dion, photographer
Liz Trumitch:Simone, daughter of Dion, writer
Mark Wizynajtys:René, son of Dion, sculptor
Jennifer Woelke:Colette, daughter of Dion, artist (pencil/charcoals)

"Is (Cloe) a good swimmer?" -- Captain
"No, but if we're still near shore I'm sure they can fire her out of a cannon." -- William

"And in about five minutes there's about ten guys outside your door." -- GM to Seamus, after he presses a button on the wall
"So that's all you have to do." -- Simone, lusting after the men

"Is there a bar at the pool?" -- Simone
"Yes." -- GM
"I must go change." -- Simone

"Well, it is a big ship." -- Colette to a fellow passenger
"Big enough that one can go for days without running into any of one's relatives." -- Melisande, hopefully

"Cloe, are you going to join William in the cockpit? It's just the two of you." -- GM
"Well, I'm not hanging down below!" -- Cloe

"Do you know how to land a seaplane?" -- GM
"No, but I have landed a speedboat on an airport tarmac, so it can't be all that hard." -- William

"So, you're actually flying a bomb." -- GM
"Fortunately, I'm good with explosions." -- Cloe

"Is it possible that the ship has noticed us yet?" -- William to GM
"It will when (your plane) goes up in a flaming ball of fire." -- Kris Fazzari

"(Cloe's) silk is made out of asbestos." -- Kris Fazzari to the group

"I have a slight interest in chemistry." -- William
"Ever since your plane almost blew up." -- GM

"You don't smoke, do you?" -- Corwin
"Only my rooms smoke." -- Cloe

"I've been cursed by a Feneval." -- Colette to the group
"And you were mildly inconvenienced cursed. That's almost as bad as a death curse." -- Sol Foster

"I'm only unreliable for the time I am in jail." -- Simone to Luce

"It's the Colette action figure. Complete with crowbar." -- Mark Wizynajtys to the group

"Did we destroy France by accident?" -- Seamus to the group

"All right, we've got guns and booze." -- Mark Wizynajtys to the group

"Everyone, we altered (Corwin's) travel plans and kept them secret." -- William
"Even from ourselves." -- Melisande

"Simone is the Vice President of France." -- J.P Brannan
"Apparently the Vice President is in charge of Vice." -- Mike Minolakes

"I can distract people just by being annoying. It doesn't have to be sex...." -- Simone to John Astor

"Yes! It's got to be whiskey or drugs, and either one makes me happy." -- Seamus to the group, after an unaddressed package arrives

"We'll just be using silver-coated were-buffalo bullets." -- William to GM

"Things are going to be a little more outrageous (when Corwin returns to France)." -- GM
"Yes!" -- Simone
"And women's skirts are going to get a little bit shorter." -- GM
"Yes!" -- William

"That was fun. Even if I was chain-smoking carrots." -- Kris Fazzari to the group

"There is no King of France!" -- everyone, at one time or another

Slot 7

"Blaze of Glory: Fire and Ice" by Sol Foster

Shipping in the northern waters has been badly disrupted of late. A small squad of Bleys' guard was sent to deal with the presumed pirates. One man made it back, badly burned, repeating the same word over and over again: "Dragon". Suddenly it became the Elite Guard's problem.

Cast of Characters

J.P. Brannan:Ewan Burnett, AKA "The Worst Sailor in the Guard"
Michael Curry:Amir bin Muhammad bin Ibrahim bin Nasir bin Safwan Al-Majiid
Anne Devlin:Marian Ravenwood
Kris Fazzari:Lorianne, AKA "The Pirate Queen"
William Gulstad:Cyrano Savinien Hercule de Bergerac
Jennifer Jackson:Zoe Sabourin
R.F. McCaughey:Yves St. Laurant-Seaway
Andy Ransom:Lewis Mercer, AKA "The Spider"
Liz Trumitch:Jayne Green, AKA "Plain Jayne"
Edwin Voskamp:Lord Dagincourt, Sir Jeffery de Goulon AKA "The Gray Ghost"
Jennifer Woelke:Robyn Sage

"So you want to torture (Rachel), but you don't want to watch, and you don't want her to get hurt?" -- Lorianne to Jayne
"Jayne...has...issues." -- Liz Trumitch

"What would it take to break you?" -- Ewan to Jayne
"Lord Bleys doing a striptease in front of her." -- Kris Fazzari

"Here's what we're going to do. We'll blindfold and tie (Rachel) up. And then we'll argue about what to do with her." -- Ewan to Jayne
"That will be torture enough." -- Lorianne

"While we're in southern France, can I pick up another hydrogen bomb?" -- Ewan to GM

"I inject (Rachel) with truth serum." -- Robyn
"Highly explosive truth serum?" -- Ewan

"Is Calais still standing?" -- Marian
"Only because the rest of the Guard hasn't arrived yet." -- GM

"We'll have to build a salmon pipeline." -- Ewan
"We'll put Philippe on it." -- Robyn

"Until you've blown up your first city, you're just a rookie member of the Guard." -- Kris Fazzari to Michael Curry

"I have troops, I talk to them...." -- Jayne
"You have martyrs, you talk them into throwing their lives away." -- Lorianne

"I'll swing by the office of my trading company pick up my usual equipment for talking to the natives." -- Jeffery, preparing for a trip to the North Sea
"Beads and firewater." -- ?
"And kilts." -- ?

"The hydrogen, the prisoner and the medic. These are the things I want on my ship." -- Jayne to the group

"It never hurts to have a second place to land a put a plane down." -- Jennifer Jackson
"Because in the Guard, we never actually land a plane, we crash them." -- Kris Fazzari

"Why do we need a third ship?" -- Jennifer Jackson
"Because the more targets we have, the longer it takes to kill us all." -- Kris Fazzari

"Blew up competitor's wine warehouse. Wish you were here." -- Zoe's postcard to Philippe

"Are you dressed in black?" -- GM
"Yes." -- Cyrano
"Are you wearing your asbestos cloak?" -- GM
"Maybe not this time." -- Cyrano

"Once the ship is charred and burning, it won't be recognizable." -- Jeffery to the group, regarding how to disguise the ship they have just stolen

"We have a ship full of fortified wine. Let's turn it into explosives!" -- Jeffery
"Welcome to the HMS Kamikaze." -- Cyrano

"You've got an asbestos cloak. What could go wrong?" -- Jayne to Cyrano
"She's carrying the hydrogen." -- Lorianne

"I tell the crew that maybe the dragons were ice dragons." -- Jayne
"And that explains the man that burned to a crisp?" -- Jennifer Woelke
"It was freezer burn!" -- Kris Fazzari

"You hear a splat against the side of the ship. It sounds human-sized." -- GM
"It's Rámon!" -- Lorianne

"Scotland's on fire!" -- Zoe
"But we haven't been there yet." -- Zoe and Lorianne

"Maybe they had napalm. We can't be the only people who have invented it." -- Lorianne
"Yes we can. We keep killing everyone else who has it." -- Zoe

"Are you jumping out without a parachute?" -- GM
"Well, if there's a parachute I'll use it." -- Jayne
"She admits grudgingly." -- Jennifer Woelke

"We've had parachutes on board ever since the option to turn the plane into a bomb was installed." -- Ewan to the group

"Yeah, I can't doge the cannon ball, I don't think." -- Jayne to the group

"You notice that Ewan's fall was much less graceful than Jayne's." -- GM
"That's because Jayne has much more experience falling out of planes." -- Jeffery

"Even unconscious, I'm a better pilot (than Jayne)." -- Ewan to group

"Before you induct dragons into the Sharks, consider how big a hole you have to dig to bury one." -- Jeffery to Jayne

"So basically you want us not to fire on the dragon until it sets us on fire, so we can be sure of its intentions?" -- Lorianne to Jayne

"They don't have aircraft, do they?" -- Ewan
"They have the dragons!" -- the rest of the Guard

"We drop an explosive flare on (the boat)." -- Zoe
"When you say 'explosive flare', what exactly do you mean?" -- GM
"I mean a flare that I've tied a bomb to." -- Zoe

"If I'm really lucky, I'll miss." -- Amir to the group, preparing to launch himself at the dragon with the crew launcher

"I've run out of plan." -- Amir to the group, after sinking his two daggers into the dragon

Kris' home page | Kris' RPG page

Counter  Hellriders have passed through here since March 24, 2004.

Done by Kris Fazzari.

Game descriptions taken from the AmberCon North 2003 Game Book.

Quotes taken by myself and Jennifer Jackson.

Web pages with quotes and/or commentary on AmberCon North 2003 include:

Flaming Monkey:My ACN 2003 recap and Quotes from ACN 2003

Last modified on March 29, 2010 by Kris Fazzari.

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