AmberCon North 2000 Quotes

Slot 1

"To Say Nothing of the Storm Hounds" by Sol Foster

That idiot Merlin has done what was supposed to be impossible: gone back in time and borrowed Grayswandir during the period the amnesiac Corwin wasn't using it. Now you've got to clean up his mess before the timeline is permanently disrupted.

A sequel of sorts to last year's "The Doomsday Jewel." Light-hearted time travel adventure.

Cast of Characters

Lou Evans:Thorn, family member of unknown parentage
Kris Fazzari:Melanie, daughter of Brand
Guy Gascoigne-Piggford:Marcus, son of Bleys
William Gulstadt:Roger, a member of the guard
Matthew Richardson:Konrad, Llewella's cousin, advisor to Moire

"So I'm wet and half naked in Random's office." *bow* "Your Majesty." -- Konrad to the group

"Your idiot cousin...." -- Random to the assembled group
"Which one?" -- Marcus and Melanie, in unison

"If you want people to time travel effectively, give them more than 30 seconds warning." -- Lou Evans
"And give them pants." -- Matthew Richardson

"Does the (storm hound) have a collar?" -- Konrad
"No." -- GM
"Does it have a saddle?" -- Marcus

"Why does (Flora) have a different name here?" -- Konrad
"She's in disguise." -- ?
"Florimel, who, disguised as mild-mannered Evelyn Flaumel, fights a never-ending battle against poor taste and bad parties." -- Lou Evans

"I head over towards the invisible people." -- Konrad to GM

"Can you get cancer from being turned invisible too often?" -- Roger to the group, after the third or fourth invisibility spell is cast on him

"OK, I can psyche-wammie a dog. That's good to know." -- Konrad to the group

"I smell like the butler, but I am invisible." -- Konrad to GM

"You could bleed yourself a path (across the Primal Pattern) to (Greyswandir), but that's not a particularly helpful idea." -- Roger to the group

"Rebmans do everything in groups." -- Kris Fazzari
"Schools." -- Lou Evans

"Something fishy here, but then again, it's Rebma." -- Lou Evans to the group

Slot 3

"The Lion and the Unicorn" by William Gulstad

While playing hide and seek, a group of Amberite children stumble upon the Hall of Mirrors. One of the children touches a mirror which shows a tranquil wooded scene with many pools of water. The next thing they know, they are standing in the Wood, talking to a big Lion, who sends them on a Quest. What he doesn't tell them is that they might never return!

Cast of Characters

J.P. Brannan:Soleil, son/daughter of ?
Shawn Dorsey:Talism, son/daughter of ?
Joe Filippini:Brigit, daughter of Fiona
Ian Ng:Kincaid, son of Caine

"I learned to talk in the time before time." -- Aslan, a great lion
"Is that a long time ago?" -- Brigit
"A bit." -- Aslan

"You can talk? Did you eat someone so you can talk?" -- Brigit
"I've eaten a lot of people who can talk." -- Aslan

Slot 4

"Mountains of Madness" by Kristen Gibbs and John Schleick

A year since Brand's death, and he still has no grave marker. His name has been blotted out of the history - but not the memory - of those still living. Now, out of the depths of the Abyss there arises something that threatens both Amberite and Chaosian alike, something that could only result from Brand's Blood Curse. Cthulhu-like game; please bring proper horror movie/book mindset.

Cast of Characters

Michelle Barney:Amalie, daughter of Brand
Simone Cooper:Ezekiel-Strike, a Chaosian
David de Jong:Blokh, a rock demon living in Chaos
Sean McCabe:Adrian, son of Corwin
Ian Ng:Macallan, son of Fiona
Anton North:Armand, son of Caine
Tony Pi:Jonah, son of Fiona
Craig Sparling:Zale, a Chaosian

"...and saw the Wheel up in the sky-" -- Simone Cooper to ?, on some random topic
"The whale?" -- Tony Pi, player of Jonah
"No, the Wheel! Get off the whales, dammit!" -- Anton North

"It's an over the shoulder boulder holder." -- GM Kristen to the group, on lingerie for Blokh

"Who's big and burly and can pick her up?" -- Macallan, referring to a grotesque Cthulhu-tainted Fiona
"Not me. I'm in chunks." -- a dead Armand

"The Pallid Mask" by Matthew Richardson

Sequel to The King in Yellow from AC8. A dark cloud has settled over Amber following the conclusion of the Patternfall War, and in time it was discovered that the source of this gloom was Sand, Queen of Tir-na Nog'th. She killed King Random and nearly destroyed all of Amber, but in the end she was defeated. The Pattern was restored and Martin assumed the throne, but the gloom has not departed Amber. Coral, who repaired the Pattern, has become increasingly irrational and has recently been confined to a windowless tower in Castle Amber. King Martin seems distracted of late, as if he were hearing some unseen voices. And the Jewel has not been seen for some time.

Cast of Characters

Kris Fazzari:Lauren, secret daughter of Caine, assistant to Lord Henden, the "Lady in Waiting"
Guy Gascoigne-Piggford:Dmitri, son of Florimel, the "Subtle Scholar"
Mike Manolakes:Edward, son of Gérard, the "Scion of the Pattern"
Michael Schloss:Merlin, son of Corwin and Dara, the "Foreign Prince"
Rae Williams:Morgan, son of Julian, the "Stranger"

"Florimel arrives after you. She looks a bit harried." -- GM
"That's her problem." -- Dmitri
"Bleys arrives with her." -- GM
"That's also her problem." -- Dmitri

"There's a smell you don't recognize." -- GM to the group
"Burning flesh?" -- Kris Fazzari and Rae Williams, in unison

"Could the Pattern be a binding?" -- Merlin
"I think (the Pattern) is an artifact of a different order." -- Suhuy
"No pun intended." -- Kris Fazzari

"You know, I'm going to have a hard time convincing the servants that (Morgan vomiting up wasps) is part of the normal family abnormality." -- Lauren to the group

"All the things that are happening to me, throwing up wasps, fleshy curtains.... I have good stuff! See, good stuff!" -- Morgan to the group

Slot 5

"Faerie Queen" by Wendi Strang-Frost

Inspired by Spenser's classic work, The Faerie Queen is an allegorical game about the nature of Reality and Shadow. In the aftermath of the Black Road War, two Patterns vie to define the ordered Universe. Test your mettle against the personified vices of Amber, and do your part to unify the world in a new set of values.

Cast of Characters

Sol Foster:Roland, son of ?
William Gulstad:Orlando, son of ?
Daniel Perkins:?
Michael Schloss:?
Tymen VanDyk:Randall, son of ?
Edwin Voskamp:Garwin, son of ?

"Quick, grab the GM's notes and keep them safe." -- Sol Foster to the group

"What brings you to our lands?" -- the Faerie Queen
"Damned if I know. Do you need renovations?" -- Orlando

"Roland, the Queen gives you the message to bring to the foreign King." -- GM
"Is it sealed?" -- Roland
"Yes." -- GM
"Good luck Rolandkrantz." -- Michael Schloss

"You have a donkey full of balsawood." -- GM to Garwin

"Oh What a Night" by J.P. Brannan and Ian Ng

On the eve of war, a grand ball is held for the nobility of Amber. Princes and Princesses, Lords and Ladies have gathered in amity, united against a common foe, and it is one last evening of carousing before the dirty business starts. A tale of romance, love unrequited, betrayal, and maybe a little swashbuckling.

Cast of Characters

Anne Delekta:Michelle, daughter of Duke Harrison
Anne Devlin:Vialle
Kris Fazzari:Bleys
Rick Garman:Gérard
Mike Manolakes:Benedict
R.F. McCaughey:Random
Rae Williams:Duke Harrison, Benedict's right-hand-man

"So, even if there was a player for Brand, Brand would still be dead." -- GM J.P. to the group

"Gérard's been given an order he doesn't understand." -- Rick Garman
"And this is different from most of his orders how?" -- Kris Fazzari

"Why did you make Florimel a general and not me?" -- Fiona
"Because she collected more box tops and sent them in first?" -- Random

"First of all, Benedict doesn't do any random things, I do random things." -- Random to Fiona

"Are you rubbing my leg?" -- Random to his opponent, while playing Twister with the young officers

"So, does Random often play with young officers in this fashion?" -- Anne Delekta to R.F. McCaughey, referring to the Twister game

"Well done. You cheated, but I'm going to let it go." -- Random to his opponent, losing graciously in Twister

"Dworkin just needed a random number." -- GM J.P. to the group, after Dworkin asks Random to pick a numbered ping pong ball from a basket

"There is an advantage to the fake Flora's." -- Kris Fazzari
"They're professionals." -- Rae Williams
"So is she." -- Mike Manolakes
"And they don't redecorate the castle in their downtime." -- Anne Delekta

"Michelle may be musical, but Shelly is poetic." -- Rick Garman punning to the group

"I always thought (Brand's) cigarettes lit because they were afraid not to." -- Anne Delekta to the group, during a discussion about power words to light cigarettes and pop champagne corks

"I return the queen back to her husband after the dance." -- Bleys to GM
"Here you go, brother, I'm all done with her." -- Anne Delekta

Slot 6

"And the Mirror Cracked" by Rae Williams

All your life, you've been told that Rebma is the mirror image of Amber. What happens when that mirror cracks? Are you ready for 7 years of bad luck...or worse? A different version of Rebma and its history, and you don't have to wait for the sourcebook.

Cast of Characters

Michelle Barney:Jaming, daughter of Gérard
Kris Fazzari:Lorian, daughter of Corwin and Moire
Ian Ng:Kincaid, son of Caine
Jeanne Thelwell:Carla, daughter of Fiona
Linda Voskamp:Lorelei, daughter of Oberon

"Carla thinks that perhaps since the (family) meeting isn't in the library, no one will get hurt." -- Jeanne Thelwell to the group

"Corwin feels that a good strong sword would be good in the rear." -- a very tired GM to the group

Slot 7

"Blaze of Glory 5" by Sol Foster

Bleys' private Shadow is a playground of swashbuckling adventure. But it also has hidden secrets. Now he needs his guard to race across the world to retrieve one of them. Players take the role of exceptional Shadow dwellers.

Cast of Characters

Anne Devlin:Marian Ravenwood
Kris Fazzari:Lorianne, AKA "The Pirate Queen"
Joe Filippini:Otto Fromm
Julia Frizzell:Eloise St. Vire, Marchioness de Blanche
Sean Frost:Rámon
Bill Gulstad:Cyrano Savinien Hercule de Bergerac
R.F. McCaughey:Yves St. Laurant-Seaway
Andy Ransom:Lewis Mercer, AKA "The Spider"
Joel Trefethren:Ralph, AKA "The Bastard"

"I could have points for getting beaten by women." -- Sean Frost, deciding where to put Rámon's advancement points
"That's not a stat, that's a way of life." -- GM
"Actually, I think he pays extra for that." -- Bill Gulstad

"You see, if I do a Spanish Main game, I have to know where the Spanish Main is." -- GM
"Rámon does not, so why should you?" -- Sean Frost

"There is great glory to be a member of the Sharks. Unfortunately, there is not great longevity in being a member of the Sharks." -- Joe Filippini to the group

"My, what a lovely handkerchief." -- Ralph to Cyrano, trying to explain why he was staring at his face
"Now he's afraid you're making a pass at him." -- Kris Fazzari

"You're all asleep." -- GM
"That means Marian's drinking." -- Anne Devlin

"Oh, hi again. I still like the handkerchief." -- Ralph
"It's excellent for staunching blood." -- Cyrano

"You have to remember, Rámon thinks a sexton means a lot of sex." -- Sean Frost to the group

"Rámon is one big salt lick." -- Sean Frost to the group, referring to Rámon frequent trips overboard

"I would much prefer to stay with Lorianne. I've been down in too many ships with Rámon." -- Otto to the group
"Just the one, and we meant it to sink." -- Rámon

"You know, it's amazing we ever get anything done with all of the infighting." -- Kris Fazzari
"We have no external enemy, that is why we must turn on ourselves." -- Sean Frost

"I can't see my face in this spoon, young man." -- Otto
"That's because you're nondescript, sir." -- Ralph

"So, how far are we, technically, I forget the term, from the point where you can't turn back?" -- Cyrano to GM
"You mean the point of no return?" -- Kris Fazzari

"I'll offer Cyrano the option of using the crew launcher after we launch Rámon. Assuming Rámon survives, I figure (Cyrano) might consider it." -- Lorianne to GM

"I'm trying to scare the shit out of (the enemy), before they overwhelm us." -- Yves to GM

"We'll throw our own men against the side of their ships, if that's what it takes." -- Sean Frost to the group, after Rámon is launched into the hull

"Rámon is the third greatest human catapult in all the Spanish Main." -- GM to the group

"(Eloise) will accompany Rámon on his ship." -- Julia Frizzell
"Are you insane?" -- Sean Frost

"I do the torture, I do not do kids." -- Otto to the group

"I will step up and engage both men coming at me." -- Yves
"Do you have a blade in each hand? There are two of them ready." -- GM
"No, I don't. But my 'kissed' steel is faster!" -- Yves
"Ah.... I can't argue with that! You kill them both!" -- GM

"Stand back! This is a matter of honor between men!" -- Cyrano to the group, regarding the fight between Rámon and Davalos
"You bastard!" -- Rámon

"Men in Green: High Noon" by Wendi Strang-Frost

You were hand selected by Prince Caine to be part of his elite group of operatives. Your mission? Help Caine keep Amber safe from the scum of the Universe, and there's more than one Universe to deal with here.... (MIG is a serialized action/adventure/comedy game run at Amber conventions.)

Cast of Characters

J.P. Brannan:Agent Orange
Ian Ng:Agent Y
Daniel Perkins:Agent R
Matthew Richardson:Agent Pound (#)
Conrad Rogers:Agent O
John Schleick:Agent Omega (Ω)

"I will call him...Semicolon." -- Ian Ng to the group, pretending to be Agent Colon referring to a 1/8th scale replica of himself in a voice like Dr. Evil

"What did you do the last (mission)? Squeezed a fat man's ass." -- GM
"That was to keep us alive!" -- Agent Y

"Oh.... You give him beta software...." -- Agent Pound
"And Beta isn't around to use it." -- GM

"Give me a little credit!" -- Agent O, protesting that he knows better than to fire a gun in R & D
"R and D don't give credit. It all comes out of your salaries." -- GM
"And you haven't been paid yet." -- John Schleick

"OY's in the middle." -- GM to the group, on where Agent O and Agent Y are in the marching order

"Y's 'pumping the water cannon,' eh?" -- J.P. Brannan
"It's a big water cannon. It's a six pound water cannon." -- Ian Ng
"Remember, it's not the size, it's how far you can shoot it." -- J.P. Brannan

"Oh, you get the shit job." -- GM to Agent R
"Clean the gadgeteer." -- Ian Ng

"See, John? This is just what it's like in 'Men in Black.' There's one straight guy and everyone else are fuckups." -- GM to John Schleick
"Hey!" -- everyone else

"If Agent O makes his own version of the P.O.C.K.E.T., would it be called the O.R.I.F.I.C.E.?" -- GM to the group

"Well, y'see now, my friend here is one of the fastest guns in the West." -- Agent Omega to Frank, the Chaos Lord, setting up his rookie, Agent Orange

"I may be the fastest gun in the West, but alls I've got is a particle accelerator." -- Agent Orange to Agent Omega

"Survivor: Amber" by Joe Saul

Outwit. Outplay. Outlast. Hoping to boost sagging ratings in the Sunday time slot, Ambercon North has commissioned its own version of the hit CBS TV show! Ten Amberites. One island. One ultimate prize. It won't be pretty.

Cast of Characters

Burr Rutledge:?
Rae Williams:?

"Hello, this is your game calling." -- Burr Rutledge (Room 2407), calling GM Joe Saul (Room 2707)
"The game is here." -- GM
"But all of your players are here." -- Burr Rutledge
"The game is here." -- GM
"Well, then we're at a standoff." -- Burr Rutledge
"That's alright with me." -- GM
"You win." -- Burr Rutledge

"Joe, you've been voted off the island!" -- Rae Williams to GM, representing the survivors in revolt

Slot ?

Unknown campaign

"Finndo is traitorously alive." -- Carl to ?

"Soon what is rightfully mine will be mine." -- Finndo to ?

Post Con

"The House on Haunted Cliff" by Sean Frost

Cast of Characters

Anne Devlin:Rosalind, wife of Lorenzo
Kris Fazzari:Coral, daughter of the Begman ambassador
R.F. McCaughey:Lorenzo, husband of Rosalind
Ian Ng:Bosnell, Amber businessman
Matthew Richardson:Delwin, Prince of Amber
Michael Schloss:Pilkington Yuck, heir to Begma, would-be poet
Wendi Strang-Frost:Beatrice, servant

"How badly do I want that money?" -- Beatrice
"Badly." -- GM
"Wait a minute. She got money?" -- Coral

"I'm just hoping I don't have to do anything for that money once I get to the party." -- Beatrice to the group
"Well, you see, there's this cake...." -- Kris Fazzari

"Since no one recognized me right off...." -- Delwin
"You didn't bring your unicorn jammies." -- GM

"Besides, the ruins have kind of a nouveau ruin...." -- Pilkington
"Isn't that kind of an oxymoron?" -- GM

"This (poem) is from (Pilkington's) lonely period." -- GM
"I should hook him up with my dead sister." -- Delwin

"Spirits for all." -- GM to the group, as the drinks are served

"You just killed the Begman heir." -- Wendi Strang-Frost to R.F. McCaughey
"Begma's probably relieved, actually." -- Kris Fazzari

"I know the line of that jaw. You only see it on horses and the children of Oberon." -- Matthew Richardson to the group

"Ooh, this house is haunted. Cool!" -- Pilkington to the group, after he dies

"(Sand's) heard your poetry." -- GM to Pilkington
"It can't be worse than hers." -- Matthew Richardson

"What do you want to learn first? How to make sounds, or how to touch things?" -- Sand
"How many ghosts are there?" -- Pilkington
"Many." -- Sand
"Then I wish to (learn how to) make sounds." -- Pilkington

"You've been killed and your body's been stuffed in an alcove. What do you want to do?" -- GM to Lorenzo

"Huh. Guess you're right. It's haunted." -- Delwin to Coral, upon seeing the demonic Unicorn

"They can only kill you once." -- Wendi Strang-Frost
"I really wish you hadn't said that." -- R.F. McCaughey

"Some of us retain our dignity after our death." -- Beatrice to the group
"What do you mean? (Pilkington) has as much dignity now as he did before!" -- Ian Ng

"Pilkington's undead. I guess the limits of grammar are rather meaningless at the moment." -- Matthew to the group, after hearing one of Pilkington's attempts at haiku

"That's all we need, a union of ghost poets." -- GM
"They're ghost writers." -- Matthew Richardson

"Don't bother with that, we're dead." -- Sand to Beatrice, after she curtseys
"Old habits die hard." -- Kris Fazzari

"The zombie plays dead." -- GM to the group

"Once I died, I was wide awake." -- Kris Fazzari to the group

Pilkington's Poetry

"Spooky, spooky house
I hope I see dead people
I am alone."

"Loom, gloom, diddly doom
I'm in a great big spooky, creepy room
If I were a witch, then I'd have a broom
I am alone."

"I am so, so dead
Fiddly, diddly dead
I am alone."

"Death is o'errated.
Ghosts like me can't even pee.
I am alone."

(And finally, The Last Opus of the Begman Heir)
"Brainsss, Brainnssss
Eat my dust, Ash!
I am alone."

Random Quotes from the Con

"I had an amulet that would heal me but would render me impotent. Since I was a British man, though, it never came up." -- Matthew Richardson, talking about his character in "Agents of the Argent Rose" by R. F. McCaughey

Kris' home page | Kris' RPG page

Counter  Hellriders have passed through here since October 6, 2000.

Done by Kris Fazzari.

Game descriptions taken from the AmberCon North 2000 Game Book.

Quotes taken by myself, R.F. McCaughey and Ian Ng.

Last modified on April 14, 2009 by Kris Fazzari.

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