AmberCon Northwest 2003 Quotes

Slot 1

"Cast a Long Shadow" by Dan Christensen, Ameer Tavakoli and Todd Worrell

8 hours.... Much can change in 8 hours.

Everything is going great for Amber since the victory over Chaos 100 years ago. The Courts are a distant friend now, Shadow is stable and all the elders are gathering for the 100th year victory party. Even Thelbane has sent well wishers. All is good and well for Amber but that is going to change in 8 hours.

Cast of Characters

Michael Bloss:Victor
Susie Bloss:Erin
Linda Duncan:Edwina
Penny Feltham:Hettie
Madeline Ferwerda:Elsinore
Anneke Floor:Fallon
John Randall:Enoch
Irene Schwarting:Terry
Karen Wells:Sarah
Drew Wood:Delsin

"I am the mistress of the horse! All horses go through me!" -- Linda Duncan, giving a brief character description of Edwina
*pause* -- everyone else
"Parents of Edwina we know about?" -- Anneke Floor
"Flora?" -- Linda Duncan, looking to GMs
"And a pulsing stallion...." -- Penny Feltham

"Dan! We're on the ship!" -- John Randall, calling across the room
"Ok, come here." -- GM Dan
"No, you come here!" -- John Randall
<Dan begins to come over>
"Oh shit." -- John Randall

"I think we all die, or we succeed. This is Blaze of Glory time." -- Terry to the group
"Bleys is already dead." -- John Randall

"The Great Pyramid" by Amber Cook and John Worsley

Based on Fred Saberhagen's book Pilgrim. (If you have read the book don't count yourself out, we can happily use you.)

This game combines ancient Egypt and science-fiction, archeology and time travel.

Cast of Characters

Dana Bayer:Willis Chapel, ex-archeology professor recently turned lucrative 'importer'
Jonathan Carlaw:Ptah-hotep, Assistant Chief Priest for the Rituals to Guard the Building of the Tomb
Kris Fazzari:Thothmes, Chief Scribe to the Chief Builder (of the pyramid)
Michael Kucharski:Thomas Haggerty, non-affluent student at a school in Chicago
Leslie Lightfoot:Tefnut-Hosi, Sihathor's favorite daughter
Emma Sansone:Rebecca Scheffler, non-affluent student at a school in Chicago
Ann Sasahara:Nicole Schliemann, skilled antiquer
Murray Writtle:Sihathor, skilled stonemason working on the Horizon of Khufu (the pyramid)

"I'm getting the goat this time, Father." -- Tefnut-Hosi to Sihathor

"You realize that your fiancé is standing in front of you, only now he's an 80-year-old man." -- GM
"Hmmm, I think the wedding's off." -- Nicole

"We're a bunch of ancient Egyptians in a time-traveling space ship, I think we're OK." -- Tefnut-Hosi to the group

"In Distant Avalon, Corwin Lies Dreaming" by Thaddeus Rice

After Patternfall, the elders of Amber thought all would return to its glorious norm. They were so wrong.... Grey skies, rain and thunder fill the days, and violent storms wrack the nights. Dark secrets brought forth during Patternfall now fester and rot in the open. The war may be over but for the victors the aftermath could be worse. Gritty, gothic game where the elders cannot sweep their past indescretions under the rug with a smirk.

Cast of Characters

Carrie Bailey:?
Andi Blija:?
Simone Cooper:?
Guy Gascoigne-Piggford:?
Robert Haight:?
Cindy Henderson:?
Eric Sanders:Caine
Vrin Thomas:?

"It felt like a brother; he was chasing me through Shadow and trying to kill me." -- Caine to ?

"The Lion In Winter" by Eric Todd

King Oberon has declared this year's Winter Court, and the entire noble family will be in residence for the duration of the festival. Even Queen Clarissa, in her third year of imprisonment, will attend this noble celebration of duty, honor and familial love. Perhaps some of the previous winter's indiscretions have been forgiven by your beneficent King?

Cast of Characters

Don Ide:?
Pol Jackson:Oberon
Richard Johnson:?
Shelly Johnson:?
Stephanie McMechan:?
Sara Mueller:?
Kirgan Peacock:?
Paula Sageser:?
Denise Thiessens:?
Jeremy Zimmerman:Bleys

"Where's Eric?" -- ?
"Eric is...." *pause* (to GM) "Where's Eric?" -- Oberon

"What's really funny is this is polite conversation. 'Let's talk about Benedict being poisoned.'" -- GM to ?

"(Rilga) is that important to you?" -- Clarissa
"Have you seen her ass?" -- Bleys

"If Chaos agrees to this, your sister will become Queen of Amber." -- Oberon
"Let me assure you, Rilga, it's not all it's cracked up to be." -- Bleys

"You promised me she wouldn't be hurt." -- Rilga
"I promise a lot of people a lot of things." -- Oberon

Slot 2

"The Alchemy of Reality" by Jennifer Crice

It is a summer like any other. The midsummer festival is approaching, and scouts have reported that the Ways are opening on schedule. You pack up a few belongings, perhaps some goods to trade, and prepare for a week of food, drink, dancing, trading, and visiting with the people of lands barred to you during all other times of the year. In this place of gathering and goodwill, an accident will put into motion a desperate adventure for those who are left standing.

Cast of Characters

Stephen Acton:Erik of Vesper
Amber Cook:Lucy of Dunsan
Kris Fazzari:Krysanthe of Parrys, Ranger
Alex Karls:Xian of Delios
Harry Mills:Geraint of Parad, Truthsayer
John Worsley:Bashari of Adzgar, Monitor

"(Heerat) must be a grand land to produce men such as you." -- Erik
*grunt* - tall blond man
"Talkative, too." -- Kris Fazzari

"The horse looks interested." -- GM to Erik
*the rest of the room breaks into snickers*

"I'm sure I'll pose some sort of question to (the Priests of the One as I go by), pointing out some flaw in their tenets." -- Erik to GM
"A drive-by blaspheming?" -- Kris Fazzari

"(Is Xian) dressed like someone from Delios?" -- Stephen Acton
"No, he's wearing normal clothes." -- Alex Karls
"So he's not wearing his repress-me robes." -- Kris Fazzari

"You get an image of giving the raven some corn." -- GM
"I need some corn." -- Xian to Bashari
"You get an image of giving the raven a lot of corn." -- GM
"I need a lot of corn." -- Xian to Bashari
"You have been mentally dominated by a bird. Do not drink and use magic." -- GM

"There's a page on the desk." -- GM to Xian
"Well get him off, they're not allowed to sleep on the job." -- Kris Fazzari

"Are you a fast runner?" -- Xian to Bashari, eyeing the crown that they need to take, which is on the head of a king surrounded by a cheering crowd

"Berkeley" by Madeline Ferwerda

"There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence."

- Jeremy S. Anderson

Berkeley! Home of some of the strangest people in this Shadow, as well you know. You're just trying to get on with your plots in comfortable secrecy, but with reports of regeneration labs getting smashed, dogs the size of Volkswagens, and *giant green men*?! Sounds like things are a mite stranger than usual.


Cast of Characters

Cort Odekirk:Gail
Robert Haight:Merlin
Melissa Kocher:Betty Ross
Lisa Luxton:Julia
Lee Short:Kolya
Todd Worrell:Luke

"Can I bind the mailer daemon?" -- Gail the Ty'iga to ?

"You wouldn't want to see (the Hulk) naked...well, maybe you would...." -- GM to Cort Odekirk

"You must help him!" -- Betty Ross, pleading for Bruce Banner's life
"I throw Frakir at him with orders to strangle." -- Merlin
"So, help as in 'kill'." -- Cort Odekirk

"What is it with the men you date?" -- Luke
"I need the old ones to help me defeat the current ones." -- Betty Ross

"It stinks like rat that's gone." -- GM, regarding the apartment a giant rat attacked from
"It's a subtle distinction." -- Luke

"It's your own house, you don't have to break out the windows." -- Gail
"He's renting." -- Merlin

"Hey Merle, what's up with the guy?" -- neighbor, regarding the unconscious Bruce slung over Merlin's shoulder
"If he's unconscious, it's not gay." - Cort Odekirk

"I'm attracted to the wierd; it's not so much attracted to me." -- Betty Ross to ?
"So you go for the tall, dark, repressed bastard type?" -- GM

"To Last Forever" by John Nienart and Ann Sasahara

Not to hope for things to last forever, is what the year teaches and even the hour which snatches the nurturing day away.

100 years after Patternfall. Julian is fallen. And now?

Cast of Characters

Simone Cooper:Random
Penny Feltham:?
Ian Goodwin:?
Thaddeus Rice:Mandor
Ann Sasahara:?
Eric Todd:Benedict
Karen Wells:?
Jeremy Zimmerman:Corwin

"(Bleys) does exactly as much as you can have Ian do." -- GM John
"So, nothing." -- Random

"I'll ask Fiona to escort Mandor somplace where he can have a private talk with the GM." -- Simone Cooper to ?
"Are you asking me to leave?" -- Mandor
"No, I was asking Fiona. If I was asking you I'd say, 'Mandor, please leave.'" -- Random

"The Unicorn kneels before Corwin." -- GM Jon
"It's begun the mating ritual." -- Eric Todd
"I stroke her curly fetlocks...." -- Simone Cooper (as Corwin's furry fanfic writer)

"You smoke cracking hippy!" -- Random to ?
"Watch it, you're one of them." -- GM John
"But I wouldn't call myself that." -- Random
"That's KING Smoke Cracking Hippy." -- Thaddeus Rice

Slot 3

"Luke and Merle 4: Merlin's New Funk" by Jeremy J. Zimmerman, Esq.

Corwin's kid has finally done it: Merlin "Merle" Corey has become King of Chaos. Since then he's become a self-centered prig. Well, more than usual. He's broken away from Blüd of Ambyr, the band he formed with former partner-in-crime Lucas R. Reynard, Esq., claiming something about a "solo career." Luke, on the verge of trying to redefine the band's sound by inviting in alto-sax-playing Martin (you know, Random's kid), has decided that there's only one last chance he might have to restore Blüd of Ambyr. It just happens to involve phone booths.

Cast of Characters

Dana Bayer:Abraham Lincoln
Jennifer Crice:Lady Macbeth
Madeline Ferwerda:Doc Holliday
Pol Jackson:Buddy Holly
Cort Odekirk:Optimus Prime
Kirgan Peacock:Death (a la Piers Anthony)

"Where are you when the phone booth hits?" -- GM
"Driving along, listening to death metal...." -- Death
"Ooooh." -- everyone, groaning
"The gauntlet has been thrown." -- Madeline Ferwerda
"Jeremy will descend to whatever level you choose." -- Cort Odekirk to Kirgan Peacock

"So you have powers over time and space?" -- Buddy Holly
"Yeah!" -- Luke
"But you're not aliens?" -- Buddy Holly
"I am an alien." -- Optimus Prime

"Is everyone ready?" -- Lady Macbeth
"Ready for what?" -- Buddy Holly
"We're going to travel through space and time." -- Abraham Lincoln
"And I'm going to give you a box of kittens to hold." -- Lady Macbeth
"Ok!" -- Buddy Holly

"We're sorry, this is a tourist attraction, you may not harvest the gold." -- pompous talking tree by the rivers of gold in the financial district of Chaos

"However, I have employed the human tactic of lying, and it seems to have accomplished much." -- Optimus Prime to ?

"'There's a familial problem....' I put my arm around the neck of the alpaca." -- Lady Macbeth, Trumping Fiona about Merlin-the-alpaca "Flora's found love?" -- Fiona

"This place feels different." -- Death, regarding Amber
"Weighty." -- GM
"You feel bloated, as if you're retaining reality." -- Cort Odekirk

"Wizened S&M children?" -- Optimus Prime to ?, very much disturbed by the sight of the Dire Queen of Entropia's gate guards

"I see. And what do you have to offer me?" -- Dire Queen of Entropia
"We could...feed your children...." -- Optimus Prime, still quite disturbed

"...Reports of strange cities in the Abyss." -- Suhuy, filling the group in
"Cities of socks?" -- Buddy Holly
"No, that's Dworkin's closet, you idiot." -- Suhuy
"What do you have in your closet?" -- Abraham Lincoln
"Skeletons." -- Suhuy

"You come up to the gates. They're guarded by enormous fierce demons." -- GM
"We have an appointment." -- Optimus Prime, once more trying out the "lying"

"We saved Merlin, but we brought back Brand!" -- Cort Odekirk to ?

"She's not my type, dude." -- Merlin, regarding the alpaca
"Do you ever want to be human again?" -- Optimus Prime
"Hey, sexy." -- Merlin, to the alpaca

"Buddy Holly! You have the Lyre of Creation, and you're not dead!" -- GM, summing up

Slots 3-4

"Out of Darkness Born (Out of the Frying Pan continuation)" by Sara Mueller

"My wings are folded o'er mine ears,
My wings are crossed o'er mine eyes,
Yet through their silver shade appears,
And through their lulling plumes arise,
A Shape, a throng of sounds."

- Shelley's "Prometheus Unbound"
O Dark! thou awful, sweet, and holy Dark!
In thy solemn spaces, beyond the human eye,
God fashioned His universe; laid the foundations of the earth,
Laid the measure thereof, and stretched the line upon it;
Shut up the sea with doors, and made the glory
Of the clouds a covering for it;
Commanded His morning, and, behold! chaos fled
Before the uplifted face of the sun;
Divided a water-course for the overflowing of waters;
Sent rain upon the earth -
Upon the wilderness
Wherein there was no man,
Upon the desert
Where grew no tender herb,
And, lo! there was greenness upon the plains,
And the hills were clothed with beauty!
Out of the uncharted, unthinkable dark we came,
And in a little time we shall return again
Into the vast, unanswering dark.

- Helen Keller, "A Chant to Darkness"

Cast of Characters

Simone Cooper:Despil, son of Corwin and Dara
Linda Duncan:Peregrine, daughter of Caine
Kris Fazzari:Ariana, daughter of Mandor and Sunna, granddaughter of Julian
Anneke Floor:Desdemona, daughter of Corwin and Dara
Guy Gascoigne-Piggford:Luke/Rinaldo, son of Brand and Jasra
Ian Goodwin:Briar Rose, Chaosian gladiator/demon
Cindy Henderson:Sharika, daughter of Benedict and the Unicorn, older twin of Piotr
Harvey Mills:Piotr, son of Benedict and the Unicorn, younger twin of Sharika
Emma Sansone:Alice, daughter of Mandor and Sunna, granddaughter of Julian
Murray Writtle:Peregrine, son of Fiona and Wayland

"I hate it when family members start killing each other without telling me first." -- Alice to the group

"Well, you wanted to disarm (Benedict)." -- Simone Cooper to Cindy Henderson, after Benedict runs Shar through

"I have no problem with secrets, I just want to know the reasons for them." -- Luke to the group

"(Alice's construct) Fire Eyes has nothing to do with reality, or rather, everything to do with the lack thereof." -- GM to the group
"He's very cute." -- Alice

"Everyone here who's related to a cow, raise your hand." -- ? to the group

"Trust me..." -- Mandor
"Those two words just blew the entire next sentence." -- Despil

"I think (Alice) speaks the highest quality nonsense I've ever heard." -- Perry (male) to Luke
"I don't speak nonsense, you just don't understand what I say." -- Alice

"(Merlin's) the only person who understands everything I say!" -- Alice
"No wonder he's at death's door." -- Luke

Slot 4

"Buffy the Chaos Slayer" by Dana Bayer

Into each generation a Slayer is born, one girl in all the world, a chosen one, one born with the strength and skill to hunt the chaos...

Cast of Characters

Madeline Ferwerda:Buffy
Tim Hart:Giles
Don Ide:Angel
Leslie Lightfoot:Anya
Kirgan Peacock:Xander
Andy Ransom:Spike

"Hell, (Buffy) could be of the royal blood. Amber is a place of legends, and mystery..." -- GM
"...And sleeping with people you shouldn't." -- Leslie Lightfoot

"Lunch is for afterwards. You don't feed the man before - he becomes torporous." -- Anya to ?

"She's a Hendrix woman." -- GM, misspeaking "Hendrake"
"A Hendrix woman?" -- Leslie Lightfoot
"Foxy lady!" -- Kirgan Peacock
<humming a snatch of the Hendrix version of The Star Spangled Banner, with distortion> -- Madeline Ferwerda
"In that house, they train on the axe." -- Kirgan Peacock

"So they just set them loose in the city, and they eat us out of house and home...quite literally." -- Giles to ?, regarding the cute little baby maneating demon horses

Slot 5

"Escape from Cabra" by Andy Blija and Jeremy Franklin

"The Princes of Amber have been found GUILTY," it said, "found GUILTY of the crimes of High Treason against the Crown and Lord Oberon, King of Amber." The notices were everywhere this morning. You think it's still today.

You had thought that one of your brothers might have been responsible, or it was just that someone was playing a trick - but Oberon was serious. Now you, all of you, are trapped in this hole of a place, this hell Father had especially crafted for the likes of you. It'll take time...and some get out of here, but when you do, that vile old bastard is going to suffer.

Cast of Characters

Ian Goodwin:?
Robert Haight:Caine
Pol Jackson:?
Alex Karls:?
Cort Odekirk:Bleys
Vrin Thomas:?

"You are going down, and taking Flora's dinner arrangements with you." -- GM Andy to ?

"This land is my land, this land is my land, this land is my land..." -- Caine, shopping for some real estate - sung to the tune of "This Land is My Land"
"...and I'll soil your daughter..." -- GM Jeremy

"No Bleys, you have no clothes." -- GM Jeremy
"Well, thank God I'm gorgeous naked!" -- Bleys

"You are being sucked." -- GM Andy to ?
"And not in a good way." -- Cort Odekirk

"Out of the Frying Pan" by Sara Mueller and Cindy Henderson

King Eric of Amber lies wasting away in a coma in the infirmary of Castle Amber, maimed by the Jewel of Judgement. There is little hope for his recovery. Benedict has been hastily installed as Regent.

Princess Valentine of Eregnor's engagement has been announced to Prince Luke of Kashfa. Begma is screaming bloody murder. Bleys has tried to prevent the union, but neither Kashfa nor Eregnor are interested in listening to Amber at the present time. Queen Jasra has gained the port that Kashfa has coveted for generations as part of Valentine's dowry, and on Queen Camille of Eregnor's death, the country will pass to Prince Luke and Princess Valentine. You're all invited to the wedding. Benedict has 'suggested' that you attend. Lucky you.

Cast of Characters

Carrie Bailey:Meredith
Casey De Groof:Merowanne
Louisa Djerbib:Kithri
Penny Feltham:Alaric
Madeline Ferwerda:Udo
Richard Johnson:Trey
Shelly Johnson:Cadence
Sean McGuinness:Idichi
Ann Sasahara:Aleta
Irene Schwarting:Mia
Denise Thiessens:Samantha
Drew Wood:Calvin
Michelle ?:Melody

"It's a psyche enema!" -- Michelle ? to ?

"...So you're in contact with The Serpent..." -- GM Sara to ?, suddenly overheard

"I can spill blood...preferably other people's, but mine in a pinch." -- Alaric to ?

"The survival of the universe depends on how much brandy the three of us can drink." -- Unk to ?

"Now we're just waiting to find out if we're going to go do Moire, or do crack." -- Carrie Bailey
*look* -- Madeline Ferwerda
"Galactic crack." -- Carrie Bailey, explaining further [The next thing to fix to save the universe.]

"Now, you're all still there..." -- GM Sara, just after a painful Jewel thing that involved everyone
"Are we all attuned to the Jewel now?" -- Madeline Ferwerda
"...No." -- GM Sara
"But it was a good try!" -- GM Cindy

"I might have been OK if they hadn't drained all the alcohol out of my system. I had, like, 4,000 calories..." -- Trey to ?

"Last year, they chose to pick up the whole Logrus, and move it to Tir...." -- GM Sara, explaining how the previous group through the game solved a problem
"Seemed like a good idea at the time...." -- GM Cindy

"But poisoning the scotch! That's just not right!" -- Richard Johnson
"No, it wasn't that -- scotch was the antidote!" -- GM Sara

"Vessels of Power" by Emma Sansone and Murray Writtle

Life at Court, whether in Amber or in Chaos, has made you no strangers to the machinations that surround the thrones. You are a little too far from either to be personally affected if you do not wish to be involved, and you may not care for the game personally, but you have witnessed the inevitable power games. Now, your kinsman and friend Merlin is edging ever closer to the inner circles. He was something over one hundredth in line for the Throne of Chaos, but King Swayvill's closer relatives have started dying, even as the king lies close to death himself. This puts Merlin in a dangerous position - or it makes him a better player of the game of power than you suspected. Something has changed him, for sure. He has put aside Frakir, and he wears a device called a Spikard. What all this means to you...well, that's what the game is about.

Cast of Characters

Stephen Acton:?
Jon Carlaw:?
Amber Cook:?
Simone Cooper:Martin
Katherine Nyborg:?
Andy Ransom:?
John Worsley:?
Jeremy Zimmerman:Sedgewick

"Any lonely women?" -- Martin in a bar
"If you can call them women. They're all students at Berkley." -- GM Emma

"He's bitter, but attractive. Most Amberites are, actually." -- Simone Cooper to ?

"A huge surge of close off." -- GM Murray as Merlin, shutting off a Trump call to Dara
"You take her clothes off?!" -- Martin

"I'm guessing that arguing with your mom in a girly smack-down doesn't count as independence." -- Martin to Merlin

"You can't gloat without speaking." -- Simone Cooper to ?

"Wayward Children" by Karrin Jackson

King Random has chosen you, a group of the younger generation, to investigate a disturbance out in Shadow. Your job is to assess the immediate danger to Amber and, if possible, neutralize it.

Setting: Patternfall has been over for about a century. While some of the events in the second series have taken place, let's keep in mind that Merlin is a creative fellow who might be known to embelish the facts a bit. Suffice to say that he's King in Chaos, and that Random has reigned peacefully in Amber for about a hundred years. Relations between Chaos and Amber are fairly amicable, though most of the time the two kingdoms keep to themselves. In the peace following Patternfall, many elder Amberites sought out their children in Shadow and brought them home, where they could take their place among the royalty of the One True Kingdom. Though Caine, Brand, Eric and Deirdre are dead, any children of theirs who could be found were also brought to Amber and, to those willing to swear fealty to Amber, recognition of their royal blood has been given.

However, with entitlement comes responsibility. Rumors have trickled into Amber, of the dead walking and other strange phenomena that have sent ripples throughout Shadow. The King doesn't seem terribly worried, and it seems like a good first mission to test the loyalty of his new subjects. After all, it's probably nothing, and just in case it isn't, you're expendable.

Cast of Characters

Michael Bloss:Desmond, son of Fiona
Susan Bloss:Thaddeus, son of Gérard
Kris Fazzari:Juliana, daughter of Julian
Roy Grutchfield:Tony, unlucky trouble-plagued son of Llewella
Harvey Mills:Jay, son of Eric
Kirgan Peacock:Rail, son of Brand

"Gérard once told Thaddeus to go off and make something of himself, so he did. Actually, Gérard was just asking him to go and make him a sandwich." -- Susan Bloss to the group

"Fiona and Bleys have had 100 years to make up for their past misdeeds - and they put most of it on Brand, anyway." -- GM to the group
"History is written by those who aren't tossed into the Abyss." -- Kris Fazzari

"Eric was one of those people whose reputation could only be improved by dying." -- GM to the group

"Corwin, goth poet of Amber." -- Kris Fazzari to the group

"We're giving Tony a chance to redeem himself." -- Random to the group
"For valuable prizes!" -- Michael Bloss

"But I didn't take bad stuff!" -- Michael Bloss
"Yeah, but you took Fiona as your mom." -- Kris Fazzari

"And when the ovipositer is inserted into the caripace of the sacrificial demon...." -- ? to the group, explaining how Fiona taught Desmond about sex

"Who needs Logrus madness, I have Fiona for a mom." -- Desmond to the group

"What a lovely mother." -- Thaddeus, naively, to the group regarding Fiona

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to find myself a Fiona-proof Shadow." -- Desmond to the group

"Don't get lost." -- Gérard to Thaddeus, giving him advice before his mission
"Are you wearing clean underwear?" -- Michael Bloss

"Everyone seems to know Tony, he must be very popular." -- Thaddeus, naively, to the group

"I'm bringing along the three essential things: whiskey, brandy and gin." -- Rail to the group

"The horses shift and sidle nervously. Your motorcycle does not." -- GM to Rail

"Please do not skin the son of Llewella. Let her do that." -- GM to Juliana

"Only Fiona's son would need to hide from his parent in a Shadowstorm." -- Desmond to the group

"I'm sorry sir, we lost Tony." -- GM, speaking for the group to Random
"But he kept finding us." -- Desmond

"She looks up at you, and my God, it's like she has your eyes. Not literally." -- GM to Rail

"I don't need any more crazy women at home, I have my aunts." -- Desmond to the group

"That was some really weird shit, Dad. Are you going to eat that?" -- Thaddeus' report to Gérard

"Damn, Dad and I have the same taste in women." -- Rail to the group, after finding out the woman he's been lusting after is his mom

"Twang, and then the crossbow hits Tony. Ah, everything's back to normal." -- GM to the group

"So yeah, don't date your mom, dude." -- GM to Rail

"Dude, your mom's hot." -- Thaddeus to Rail

"Must walk Pattern, find Mom-proof Shadow." -- Desmond to the group

Slot 6

"The Censored Affair" by John Nienart and Drew Wood

Classified. Persons with unauthorized knowledge of this scenario will be terminated with extreme prejudice.

Cast of Characters

Madeline Ferwerda:Caspian - a horseman
Andy Ransom:Edgar - a nobleman and a thief
Amy Wood:Janelle - a gameskeeper's daughter, excellent with a rifle

"A nice little string quartet, women with...excessively squished breasts...." -- GM John to Edgar, describing a party
*laughter* -- everyone
"I've never heard that clothing style described that way..." -- Amy Wood

"Ah! So you're a gameskeeper." -- Caspian
"<x>'s daughter." -- Janelle
"So.... What does that involve?" -- Caspian
"Keeping game." -- Madeline Ferwerda

"There's a mare you think would be gentler than the rest..." -- GM John to Caspian
"I think she'd be a good fit for you..." -- Caspian to Edgar
*pause* *snicker* -- Madeline and GM Drew

"(Janelle's) looting the bodies!" -- GM John, as Janelle searches for ID
"Finally, a decent instinct." -- Edgar

"You're willing to shoot people -- without a qualm -- but stealing their stuff, man, that's just going too far." -- Caspian to Janelle

"Any of us could fill out the form. Whoever has the neatest writing..." -- Edgar to the group
"That would be you." -- Madeline Ferwerda
"You probably think of this as more work than the actual breaking and entering...." -- Amy Wood

"Hell hath no fury like a peasant scorned." -- Andy Ransom
"Like a peasant betrayed!" -- Amy Wood

"The people who die on the first mission are the people we don't want on the second mission." -- Colonel to ?

"You doubt my geographic powers? You wanna doubt them out on the street?!" -- Madeline, speaking for a professor of geography, faced with Edgar

"The One True Gay Porno" by Cort Odekirk and Jeremy Zimmerman

Dworkin, scion of the multiverse has taken a recent interest in film-making, and decided to combine it with his favorite multi-universal pastime, pornography. Feeling that a certain competitive element is what is missing in much of the mainstream material available today he has decided to combine his new erotic masterpiece with elements of the "reality television" so popular across the more technologically advanced Shadows. That it would be gay porn was never in question, as it allows more flexibility in pair ups between cast members and Dworkin never could get excited by heterosexual encounters unless there was a horse involved. To add a certain spontaneous edge to the piece, he has decided not to ask the participants first, or pay any attentions to their backgrounds, interest levels, or for that matter, sexual orientation. To survive as a child of the Unicorn requires a certain flexibility, the ability to adapt to circumstances and, in this case, saliva that lubricates well. They would learn, or if not, their failures would make great cinema. DISCLAIMER - This game will contain sexual content, more to the point, this game will contain little *except* sexual content. Competitive sexual content...with by GM's who's vast creative powers have been focused solely on Evil, and in one case Winnie the Pooh. If you have anything resembling moral fibre, decency or good taste now would be a good time to put down this schedule, shower thoroughly and pretend this description never happened; and for goodness sake, don't sign up for this game.

Cast of Characters

Linda Cottrell:?
Guy Gascoigne-Piggford:?
Anneke Floor:?
Don Ide:?
Karrin Jackson:?
Pol Jackson:?
Robert Marshall:?
Stephanie McMechan:?

"Accounts Receivable!" -- GM Cort to ?

"Normally, I'd be paying money for this." -- ?

"Don't hurt me too badly. I'm a librarian." -- ?

"I'm going to lose myself in the sweet abyss of shame." -- ?

"I don't actually watch a lot of porn." -- GM Cort to ?

"Real Bad Guys Wear Mauve" by Cindy Henderson, Casey De Groof and Carrie Bailey

Must have been one helluva party. You wake up in a strange place, in a strange bed, with a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach. You look around and see no evidence of your whiskey, your date, or your Trumps. And to make matters're outta smokes. You wander down to the front desk and ask for a pack of Reds. The clerk looks up at the large "No Smoking" sign above your head, then adjusts his bifocals.

"Good Morning, your Highness," he smiles, "Welcome to the Hotel California."

Cast of Characters

Jon Carlaw:?
Jennifer Crice:Random
Richard Johnson:?
Shelly Johnson:?
Melissa Kocher:?
Paula Sageser:?
Denise Thiessens:?
Vrin Thomas:Julian
Karen Wells:?

"If I find out who killed Flora, I will buy him a drink!" -- Random to ?

"I'll go. I'm everybody's back door." -- Julian to ?

"Target Amber 2" by Tim Hart

This is a real world based game - honest. Definitely. It's just that the real world is really quite odd. Well it is, isn't it - you must have noticed.

This is a continuing campaign, and the ACNW party will carry on from after last year's scenario.

Cast of Characters

Wayne Davis:Special Agent Malcolm Stevenson, FBI, counter-terrorism
Kris Fazzari:Special Agent Jessica Knight, FBI, counter-terrorism
Erik Florentz:Dr. Jorgen Sorberd, Swedish linguist
Roy Grutchfield:Dr. Robert James Dove, combat meteorologist
Robert Haight:Captain John Microft, USMC
Thaddeus Rice:Todd Archer, Canadian Mounted Police, psychology
Eric Sanders:Alexander, former Spetznaz (Russion Special Forces)
Edwin Voskamp:Major Jonathan Cosgrove, SAS

"Who's the NSA guy on the team?" -- Archer
"Oh Dave, we haven't seen him since we nuked Austin." -- Cosgrove

"I always assume there are I-Corps. guys following me, no matter how many of them (Cosgrove) has killed in a dark alley." -- Archer to GM
"I didn't kill that many of them in a dark alley." -- Cosgrove

"The price was right for me to volunteer." -- Alexander
"No, it really wasn't, trust me." -- Cosgrove

"So wait a minute, if we all shoot ourselves, we win?" -- Archer to the group

"I intend to survive." -- Alexander
"Then learn how to run away." -- Knight

"We are a power. We are not powerful." -- Archer to the group

"This is working. They haven't shot at us yet." -- Archer to the group

"Using the sword, you manage to decontaminate yourselves." -- GM to the group

Slot 7

"Brand's Curse" by Michael Kucharski and Erik Florentz

On the 10th Anniversary of the reign of Random the 1st, the death curse uttered by Brand as he fell into the Abyss pierced by Caine's arrows reaches and strikes Amber.

Cast of Characters

Jennifer Crice:?
Penny Feltham:?
Bernie Hsiung:?
Don Ide:?
Alex Karls:?
Chris Nelson:?
Eric Sanders:?
Irene Schwarting:?
Vrin Thomas:?
Jeremy Zimmerman:?

"You know, there's a very ceremonious expression on his face as he loots Corwin's body." -- Vrin Thomas to ?

"Clarissa Explains It All" by Lisa Luxton

Men are what their mothers made them.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Redheads. What does hair color have to do with anything, anyway? It's a funny little squiggle in what passes for DNA when it comes to Amberites.

A funny little squiggle the rest of Oberon's brood are absent. (Flora's hair is a mere strawberry blonde.)

Remember how this whole thing started? The Universe as we know it? That's right.

A funny little squiggle.

Oh, suuuure, that one's the size of a football field. But it came out of the Jewel in the first place, and that's -- well, okay, maybe it's not genuinely small. But compact, for sure. Think of the scale: Universe to Pattern to Jewel-and-Dworkin's-brain.

If a normal Shadowperson's chromosomes, from every cell in their body, were unraveled and laid out from end to end, the strands would stretch from the Earth to the Moon six thousand times.

And that's just Shadowfolk.

Not Amberites. And certainly not redheads.

Cast of Characters

Stephen Acton:Kaiyan, son of Bleys
Kris Fazzari:Melisande, daughter of Bleys
Madeline Ferwerda:Wickering, daughter of Fiona
Guy Gascoigne-Piggford:Lucius, son of Brand
Chris Lightfoot:Ketz, son of Fiona

"You can see that guy over there has the same thing you do, and the other two have that other thing." -- GM to Kaiyan, referring to the Logrus and the Pattern
"Yes, we're female." -- Wickering, dryly

"Brand is not himself right now." -- Rinaldo
"What did he do?" -- Lucius
"Fell into the Abyss." -- Rinaldo
"Oops!" -- Lucius

"So was (Brand) possessed before he went into the Abyss?" -- Lucius to ?
"Only of a bad plan..." -- Chris Lightfoot
"And an enormous ego." -- Madeline Ferwerda

"Shapeshift -- snnnork -- get rid of it." -- Ketz to ?, doing a Chaosite sneeze and miming collecting the snot in a ball
"That's a novel way to use shapeshifting." -- Kris Fazzari

"(Lucius) is a child of Brand and Random." -- Stephen Acton
"It's Brandom!" -- Madeline Ferwerda

"These things have to be done, I'd just rather they were done to somebody else." -- Wickering to GM, regarding human sacrifices

"It was the glop that my grandmother made. I didn't know what was in it, but it was obviously sweet and non-human...." -- Wickering to GM

"Ving Rhames. Excellent. No one would ever suspect that Ving Rhames was a child of Brand." -- Stephen Acton to ?

"Why are you bleeding?" -- Clarissa
"I was cut." -- Ketz

"(Ketz) doesn't want the carpet messed. It must be a hereditary trait." -- Guy Gascoigne-Piggford to the group, after Ketz heals his wound

"You are making your way through the electric molasses that is one of the centers of reality." -- GM to ?, describing walking the Pattern

"(Lucius) describe what (he) remembers (of the background of the Trump call), but what Guy remembers is, 'Red eyes. Fuck. He's got red eyes.'" -- Guy Gascoigne-Piggford to the group

"I got a Trump call, so I shot the sofa!" -- Chris Lightfoot speaking for Lucius
"Well, they said he was a bit disturbed." -- Madeline Ferwerda

"The thing is, if we're doing something that might destroy the Pattern by accident, we may as well have the Jewel handy." -- Bleys to Kaiyan

"The question is, should we be taking this many bags of blood to the Primal Pattern?" -- Kaiyan
"I don't know. How many of our heads are you planning to rip off?" -- Melisande

"I'm not insane, I'm just mean." -- Kaiyan to the group

"It's like, I don't have to be faster than everyone -- I just have to be faster than one other person. So I'm wondering if I have a higher psyche than one other person..." -- Wickering to ?

"Now that I don't have to watch this anymore, I turn away." -- Kaiyan, as a naked Brand starts to walk the Pattern
"Pretty soon the sparks will be high enough." -- Melisande

"I've never wanted to see sparks so much in my entire life!" -- Kaiyan to the group, still watching a naked Brand walk the Pattern

"Instead of having the memory of how I first got laid, I had the memory of how Corwin first got laid." -- Lucius to the group
"How was Deirdre, anyway?" -- Chris Lightfoot

"A Matter Of Time" by Michael Sullivan

For 100,000 years, life in Chaos has progressed at its own stately pace, where fads might span decades, and vendettas centuries. Throughout all that time, King Swayville has reigned, and no force has challenged Chaos' supremacy.

But now the Patternfall War rages, and the long-held status quo is quickly slipping away. Changes are coming, great or terrible -- it's just a matter of time.

The game is one of finding opportunity in a time of calamity -- Chaos as you know it is doomed, the only question is what will come out on the other side, and what your position will be in that new Chaos. Assuming, of course, that it isn't totally destroyed.

Cast of Characters

Jon Carlaw:?
Linda Duncan:?
Cathy Ozog:?
Karen Wells:?

"All right, I followed the Black Road. Now make with the toys and candy!" -- Lenore to ?

"For all I know, the little blonde girl is just a manifestation of my need for vindaloo." -- Ben to ?

"It's not quite an angry mob. More like an angry committee." -- GM to ?

Random Quotes from the Con

"Paradox has brass knuckles that say PARADOX, one on each knuckle."
"But he only has four knuckles!"
"Bam!" -- Karrin Jackson, describing her "Random Role-play" gods game

"I have to say, you studied Anya waaay too much for the Buffy game..." -- Don Ide
"I didn't study crap, dude!" -- Leslie Lightfoot

"As soon as you people learn to A, trust Caine, and B, stop asking questions, you'll be much better off." -- Don Ide to ?

"He created a new Logrus? Leave it to Tigger." -- Kris Fazzari to Lisa Luxton, regarding "The Hand of Christopher Robin" game

"Clearly, the 'Bringing Civilization to the Barbarians' thing did not include grammar." -- Thaddeus Rice to ?, attempting to read a note

AmberCon Northwest

Kris' home page | Kris' RPG page

Counter  Hellriders have passed through here since January 6, 2004.

Done by Kris Fazzari.

Game descriptions taken from the AmberCon Northwest 2003 Game Book.

Quotes taken by myself, Simone Cooper, Madeline Ferwerda, Cort Odekirk and Jeremy Zimmerman.

Last modified on April 14, 2009 by Kris Fazzari.

Made with