AmberCon Northwest 2000 Quotes

Slot 1

"JLA: The Justice Legion of Amber" by Jason Durall and Thaddeus Rice

At the center of reality is the perfect metropolis - Amber City! But all is not peaceful here.... Many dark forces have threatened to destroy it over the years. However, it is not without its defenders: one group stands true against the forces of evil. They are the Justice Legion of Amber! Strange heroes and super-human protectors of Amber, these mighty mortals have banded together to form the greatest team of super-heroes the universe has known, fighting for liberty, truth, justice, and peace for all mankind!

But now, they will face their greatest threat ever....

Cast of Characters

 Kris Fazzari:Siren (Aquaman), AKA Llewella Curry
 Tim Hart:Amulet (Green Lantern), AKA Hal Brandon
 Cindy Henderson:Valkyrie (Wonder Woman), AKA Deirdre Prince
 Fred Hicks:War-Crow (Batman), AKA Benedict Wayne
 Jim Holthaus:The Mote (The Atom), AKA Rand "Random" Palmer
 Lydia Leong:Fate (Zatanna), AKA Fiona Fatanna
 James Nance:Majesty (Shazam), AKA Eric Evanston
 Chris Nelson:Songbird (Black Canary), AKA Flora Drake
 Cliff Wallach:The Jovian Juggernaut (The Martian Manhunter), AKA Ger'ard Jo'nzz
 Adam Woods:Blaze (The Flash), AKA Bleys Allen
 Murray Writtle:Monarch (Superman), AKA Corwin Kent
 Jeremy Zimmerman:Emerald Archer (Green Arrow), AKA Oliver Caine

"Monarch Boy, Monarch Dog...." -- Jeremy Zimmerman, on the other characters associated with Monarch
"If we could start with Monarch Woman, that would be a great start." -- Murray Writtle

"So what exactly is the nature of the relationship between Emerald Archer and Songbird?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"It's all on your sheets." -- GM Jason
"It says we live together." -- Jeremy Zimmerman, looking at his character sheet
"It says we're in love...." -- Chris Nelson, looking at hers

"It gave me super speed and, of course, other flaming things." -- Blaze to the group, speaking about his origin

"I'm over here. Stop ignoring me. I have something to contribute." -- the often ignored Mote to the rest of the JLA

"You wouldn't call him your friend. He's mostly someone you work with." -- Fred Hicks, describing War-Crow to the group

"How long has the Emerald Archer and Songbird been together?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"A while. When (Songbird) first met him, he was this rich guy who kept hitting on (her), but he wore (her) down with his charm." -- GM Thaddeus
"Charm." -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"He impressed (her) with his trick arrows." -- GM Jason
"And his accuracy." -- GM Thaddeus
"You know, it's so hard to find someone who can do that...." -- Chris Nelson

"I feel a nature moment coming on." -- Monarch to the group, on having to change costumes

"Is there a Pattern?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"There's no PATTERN." -- GM Thaddeus
"There is only the infinite cosmic dance." -- Murray Writtle, ominously

"Did the Earth move for you?" -- Emerald Archer to Songbird, after an earthquake hits

"I direct traffic." -- Jovian Juggernaut, responding to the earthquake
"You're one of the mightiest beings in the universe and you choose to direct traffic?!" -- GM Thaddeus
"All of the traffic came to a stop due to the earthquake." -- GM Jason
"My work is done here." -- Jovian Juggernaut, proudly

"I calm my rabbits." -- Fate, responding to the earthquake
"I'm glad you have your priorities straight." -- GM Thaddeus

"Monarch. I mean Majesty." -- GM Thaddeus
"Hey!" -- Majesty
"Even the writers can't tell them apart." -- Kris Fazzari

"I'll sit my cappachino down. Damn, there's trouble." -- Majesty to GM Thaddeus, responding to the earthquake

"I want to fly down and stabilize the tectonic plates." -- Majesty
"But Amber City is not on a tectonic plate." -- Monarch
"It is now. There was an earthquake. I'll create a tectonic plate if I need to." -- Majesty

"Naturally I'm stabilizing the locations near my apartment." -- Majesty
"What kind of a super-hero are you?" -- GM Jason
"Well, technically this is a natural disaster, and doesn't fall under the auspices of serving justice." -- Majesty

"Justice League assemble!" -- Majesty
"We're all assembled, you twit. Where are you?" -- War-Crow

"Do I have a trick arrow that analyzes Shadow?" -- Emerald Archer to GM Thaddeus

"Are we dealing with the main quake still or the aftershocks?" -- Majesty
"Yes." -- War-Crow
"I'm mysterious, not a seismologist, damn it!" -- Kris Fazzari

"Not tonight honey..." -- Kris Fazzari, speaking for Songbird to Emerald Archer
"...I have an earthquake." -- Chris Nelson

"It will soon be over. You won't have to hold out much longer." -- Amulet to the other JLA members
"Isn't that what Emerald Archer usually says to Songbird?" -- Kris Fazzari

"There's a panel of the Mote, thinking, 'What could I possibly do?'" -- GM Thaddeus to the group, summing up the panels in the comic book depicting the heroes dealing with the earthquake

"There's Majesty holding up the Eiffel Tower with one hand and shaking the hand of the French Prime Minister." -- GM Thaddeus to the group
"No, I don't help the French." -- Majesty

"Amber City is under attack!" -- Mote, over the radio
"Uh, this is a private line...." -- Majesty

"So, it's mysterious, we've achieved nothing, but it will stop soon." -- Monarch to the group, summing up the situation

"I love (Songbird)." -- Emerald Archer to the group
"In a carnal sense." -- Kris Fazzari
"Is there any other kind?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"Not for him." -- Chris Nelson

"Majesty, the nuclear power plant is redlining, what are you going to do with it?" -- GM Jason
"Well, those moon people have been getting uppity." -- Majesty

"We're destroying the city in order to save it." -- Siren to the group

"I'm going to secure and detonate a small-yield thermonuclear device in the atmosphere over the city." -- Majesty to GM Jason
"What?!?" -- the rest of the JLA

"Hey, the Emerald Archer's fast, just ask Songbird." -- Jeremy Zimmerman to the group

"I use the death arrow!" -- Emerald Archer to GM Jason
"Isn't that pretty much any normal arrow?" -- Kris Fazzari

"Everyone in your area knows that every time (Songbird) opens her need to cover your ears." -- GM Jason to the group

"Oh my god, he just killed Songbird!" -- Kris Fazzari
"You bastard!" -- Jim Holthaus

"They're evacuating something but it isn't the building." -- Tim Hart to the group

"Why didn't you collect pieces, Blaze?" -- War-Crow
"I was in a hurry." -- Blaze
"What good is your speed if you just make bad decisions fast?" -- War-Crow

"We can sauté, we can boil." -- Tim Hart, regarding torturing Dworkin
"It's not just for breakfast anymore." -- Chris Nelson

"Just because I know where (nuclear weapons) are kept doesn't mean I use them. I may have funded them...." -- War-Crow to the group

"I've already come up with the pseudo-scientific terminology." -- GM Thaddeus to ?

"Can I create a dimension-door arrow?" -- Emerald Archer
"Yes, but unfortunately you need depleted uranium and a Holocaust Cloak." -- GM Jason
"Jovian Juggernaut? Do you have a Holocaust Cloak?" -- Emerald Archer

"What'll we do know?" -- Majesty
"I'll just stay here and beat up the midget." -- Amulet

"I search the drawers." -- Emerald Archer to ?
"Don't you have enough women's underwear?" -- Kris Fazzari

"Those of you who aren't flirting, follow me!" -- War-Crow to the group

"This world is serene and peaceful, except for the crashing spaceships hitting the ground." -- GM Jason to the group

Impudent dog!" -- Oberon
"You invaded our world!" -- Majesty
(Oberon hits Majesty)
"ow." -- Majesty, in a small voice

"You throw an I-beam at him and it's stopped." -- GM Thaddeus to ?
"I thought Oberon had the eye-beams...." -- Kris Fazzari

"You two are wailing on (Oberon). You two have been wailed upon." -- GM Thaddeus to the players, summing up character situations

"(Oberon's) fist goes up." -- GM Jason
"Your shoelaces are untied." -- The Jovian Juggernaut
"The fist comes down." -- GM Jason

"Monarch's in the battle, you need to do something to show him up." -- GM Thaddeus to Majesty
"Clothesline him as he comes through the door." -- GM Jason
"I thought you were a bad guy!" -- Majesty, working on his excuse

"We'll activate a gate and take (Oberon) back to our world." -- Majesty
"What?! No!!" -- Siren
"He'll just push him into the ocean." -- GM Jason
"NO!" -- Siren

"(Siren's) stabbed (Oberon) with her trident and is swinging at him with her fist." -- Kris Fazzari
"Fish?" -- James Nance
"FIST!" -- Kris Fazzari

"Does this actually hurt?" -- Majesty
"Yes! Your arm is on fire!" -- GM Thaddeus

"No Way Out" by Joe Saul

Shared-Universe Crossover. Not a light and cheerful game. Telling you anything else would spoil it.

Cast of Characters

 J.P. Brannan:Aidan, son of Fiona
 David de Jong:Victor, son of Bleys
 Madeline Ferwerda:Magritte, daughter of Julian
 Rob Haight:Piper, daughter of Fiona
 Trish Hart:Jos, son of Gérard
 Edwin Voskamp:Garwyn, son of Llewella

"Have you ever been married?" -- Aidan, who is
"Um...lemme" -- Garwyn

"So I'm going to make you an item that you can break to tell us Random's gone berserk." -- Magritte
"It's gotta be a deadman's switch." -- Victor
"It's moisture-sensitive, and we put it in your underwear." -- GM

"The fact that he denies it doesn't mean he didn't do it, dear." -- Fiona to Aidan

"Why did you decide to accuse me, Aidan?" -- Victor
"Well...." -- Aidan
"Are you sweating, Aidan?" -- Victor
" a matter of fact, I have a protection rune activated!" -- Aidan

"Your Majesty...if I may...did you just imply that Benedict's loyalty was questionable, Aidan?" -- Victor
"Yes." -- Trish Hart
"Yes." -- Edwin Voskamp
"Yup." -- Madeline Ferwerda
"No." -- Aidan

"I feel that I should be insulted that you weren't keeping closer track of me." -- Aidan to ?

Slot 2

"Change in the State of Amber" by Murray Writtle

Realizing that you could time travel within the lives of your own bloodline, you stepped into the fount of fire and vanished. You stare at an unknown face in the mirror. A feisty little guy in a multi-colored suit, tie and waistcoat, clenching a cigar, appears out of nowhere. He stares ferociously at a jeweled box in his left hand and thumps it exasperatedly. It squawks. He looks at you and takes in your dawning incomprehension. "Not again!" he mutters. "Listen, your memory is Swiss-cheesed. When Caine killed Deirdre and Corwin went over the edge trying to save her, Brand fried Fiona and now we're all goose-stepping. It doesn't have to be like that. Ghostwheel isn't sure what you're here to do, but we should have some percentages once Merlin programs the new datascan." He flickers and disappears.

Can you put right what once went wrong?

Cast of Characters

 Madeline Ferwerda:The Doctor (Corwin, then Eric)
 Bobo "Chaosight" Harper:The ?? (Fiona, then Brand)
 Camille Holthaus:The Hedgewitch (Brand, then Bleys)
 Don Ide:The Architect (Bleys, then Fiona)
 Lydia Lyong:The Pirate (Deirdre, then Corwin)
 Emma Sansome:The Modest Lady (Eric, then Deirdre)

"I'll try to concentrate on the guy in front of me and not blush." -- Eric
"It's OK. Red is your color. You can feel that." -- GM

"Hey, we're a pirate and an architect trying to do ballroom dancing - we're screwed!" -- Don Idle to the group

"How does one begin these things?" -- Llewella to ?, on getting a boyfriend
"Oh, please don't let Brand give her this advice...." -- Don Idle

"You're supposed to be dashing and handsome and all." -- Eric, on how to manipulate Llewella?
"Oh, sure, I could pick her up...." -- Bleys

"...And Brand is so sensitive!" -- Llewella, often

"I'm going to go dance with the Queen, because...someone has to." -- Eric to ?, painfully bound by duty

"There once was a girl from the sea
Whose hair was as green as can be
Her name was Llewella,
A pretty good fella
But she's just not the type for me."
-- Bobo to the group, off the top of his head

"Great. Now we've got two Corwins, one of them naked...." -- Don Idle to the group, after everyone switches to the second set of bodies

"I think you've done more than any of the other groups to...what's the word...." -- GM
"Cheat." -- everyone

"Chronicles of Narnia: Chapter 1" by Jesse Scoble

From the Lantern Waste, up-river, west of Beaverdam, to the shores of Cair Paravel stretch the lands of Narnia. Come, you sons of Adam and daughters of Eve, revel in the glory of that place which is so much more Real than our own, and discover the truth of the old stories for yourselves.

A game for mature, wise children.

"Look well on that which no eyes will ever see again," said the Queen. "Such was Charn, that great city, the city of the King of Kings, the wonder of the world, perhaps of all worlds.... It is silent now. But I have stood here when the whole air was full of the noises of the trampling of feet, the creaking of wheels, the cracking of the whips and the groaning of slaves, the thunder of chariots, and the sacrificial drums beating in the temples. I have stood here (but that was near the end) when the roar of battle went up from every street and the river of Charn ran red." She paused and added, "All in one moment one woman blotted it out forever."

"Who?" said Digory in a faint voice....

"I," said the Queen. "I, Jadis, the last Queen, but Queen of the World."

Cast of Characters

 Andy Blija:Aaron (age 10)
 Amber Cook:Olivia (age 12)
 Jason Durall:Maximillian (age 13)
 Roy Grutchfield:Damien (age 12)
 John Worsely:Hubert (age 8)
 Jeremy Zimmerman:Sedgewick (age 10)

"(Grandma) has a lot of expensive stuff that you're not allowed to touch because you might break it." -- GM
"That's okay. (Maximillian) did it." -- Damien

"Your grandmother is quite old. She's quite possibly the oldest person you know." -- GM
"So she's fifty?" -- Olivia

"Some hard candy from the old country." -- Jason Durall
"It used to be soft candy...." -- GM

"It's not exactly a hamlet." -- GM
"So it's more of a MacBeth...?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman

"(Hubert's) eight." -- Amber Cook
"That just means he's dumb." -- Andy Blija
"Hey, I don't need to be eight to be dumb." -- John Worsely

"Grubs are just like shrimp, so that's okay." -- Roy Grutchfield to ?

"I'll see if I can put some liquor in (Grandma's) cake." -- Damien
"It's really hard to get into the liquor cabinet. You see her cane...." -- GM
"It's the last thing you see." -- Jeremy Zimmerman

"Unlike the rest of you, Grandma has a Warfare stat." -- GM to the group

"Do they have fast food in Canada?" -- Jason Durall
"No, it's all slow because they have to truck through the snow." -- GM

"Uh, bus driver, could we get off? Ey?" -- Maximillian trying to talk to the natives

"This is getting really Blair Witch on me. Even though I probably haven't seen it. Mom wouldn't let me." -- Maximillian
"Just spin around six times in the woods and you get the same effect." -- GM

"We might not want to split up and run all over the place." -- Maximillian to the group
"As we all split up and run all over the place...." -- Andy Blija

"(Damien's) just generally 'nasty,' not 'really horrible.'" -- Roy Grutchfield to the group

"I'm actually leading a special education group. They got away from me for a moment." -- Maximillian to ?, trying to play it cool

"When we were younger our house burned down. They said it was an electrical fire, but why was the toaster on at 2 AM?" -- Maximillian to ?, explaining the evil of Damien
"In the couch." -- Andy Blija

"PyrE" by Sol Foster

"If gateways of seeing were opened then we could see that everything always is, just as it always is, infinitely infinite." -- Kurt Elling

It's the latest drug on the Amber scene, a popular high with some nasty side effects. Nobody knows where it's coming from, but you've been "volunteered" to find out.

Cast of Characters

 Stefan Amshey:Harp, son of Bleys
 Meera Barry:Damascus, daughter of Gérard
 Kris Fazzari:Lorian, daughter of Corwin and Moire
 Kingsley Lintz:Eclaire, daughter of Deirdre
 Alisia Salliman:Chardonnet, daughter of Julian

"I normally play a sociopath...." -- Stefan Amshey to the group

"Vialle is standing behind Random. She's not looking at any of you." -- GM
"Does she ever look at us? She's blind." -- Lorian
"She likes to watch. She uses her hands." -- Meera Barry, quoting Shannon Rose

"I'll catch (Chardonnet's) hand." -- Harp
"I'll resist," -- Chardonnet
"I stop my horse, and say, 'You're supposed to take my hand.'" -- Harp

"I'm trying to picture how to describe the scene (of the standoff). There are no police cars in Amber." -- GM
"They have sirens in Rebma." -- Meera Barry

"What's your plan here?" -- GM to the group
"Isn't calling it a plan being overly generous?" -- Kris Fazzari

"Just because Damascus plans to throw Harp through a window when we get close to the building in no way decreases her opinion of his plan." -- Meera Barry to the group

"'Here goes!' That's the only warning I'm going to give you." -- Damascus to Harp, before throwing him through the window
[Later on....]
"(Damascus) threw me through a window without a word of warning." -- Harp
"Hey, I gave you warning!" -- Damascus
"Two words, if I recall correctly." -- GM

"How many of them are there?" -- Harp
"About 20 of them." -- Police chief
"There are four of us, that should be enough." -- Harp
"Four? There are five of you." -- GM
"We don't usually count Harp either, but...." -- Eclaire

"It isn't so much that we don't want to be first, it's that we don't think we can hold (Lorian) back." -- Kingsley Lintz to the group

"OK, so I've got Chardonnet and Eclaire. Cool." -- Lorian
"She's bubbly and I'm cream filled." -- Eclaire

"Tell me what you're going to do. You can even demonstrate it, if you like." -- GM to Damascus
"No, no, no, if we throw (Stefan) through the window the hotel will be sad with us." -- Kris Fazzari

"(Harp) figures he's being grabbed from behind by a woman. What could be wrong with that?" -- Kris Fazzari to the group

"OK, so we're engaged and I'm not getting anywhere with them." -- Harp to GM, about the men he's fighting
"Maybe it's because you're engaged to two of them at the same time." -- Kris Fazzari
"Nine of them." -- Kingsley Lintz

"I'm giving (my opponent) a big opening." -- Harp to GM
"OK, so you're engaged and not getting anywhere with them, so you show them a big opening...." -- Kingsley Lintz

"I run into (the wall)." -- Lorian to GM
"Good plan. Damascus would have done that." -- Meera Barry
"For Damascus, it would have worked!" -- GM

"Next time, you go first!" -- Chardonnet to Eclaire, after getting cooked by a fireball

"OK, I know we can put Chardonnet out by throwing her at the wall." -- Lorian
"I thought you used champagne for that." -- Harp

"Stop blowing me!" -- Chardonnet
"I'm putting the fire out." -- Eclaire
"She's a hot one." -- Damascus

"If there are any invisible sorcerers, raise your hand." -- Harp to the group

"Tell you what, I'll put my sword in your mouth and you can taste it." -- Harp to Damascus

"Eclaire's doing something with blood in a cup. We don't ask." -- Lorian to the group

"You guys are either very brave, or very stupid." -- Random to Harp
"Thank you!" -- Harp
"I vote for stupid." -- Lorian

"Oh yeah, (I forgot) I have Logrus!" -- Chardonnet to the group
"Do you want to see what else I can do with my tentacles?" -- Chardonnet to Harp, a short time later

"Let's break down the door." -- Harp
"It's unlocked." -- Lorian

"They're denser than ordinary men." -- GM
"So is Bleys." -- Lorian

"You kill another father." -- GM
"I'm going to be in psychotherapy for years." -- Harp

"You can only shoot (the sorceress) if you can get Bleys off." -- Random
"His son is working on it." -- Lorian

"Can I pull me through?" -- Eclaire to the GM, upon Trumping herself

"Everyone knows it's bad to stop on the Pattern!" -- Kris Fazzari
"Yes, but did anyone tell Harp?" -- ?
"Oops." -- ?

"Is that my sword lying on the Pattern?" -- Bleys
"Um, oops." -- Harp

Slot 3

"Ashes of Stars" by Kristen Gibbs

It is a bright night, the full moon shining brightly through the window. Was it that which woke you? Or the deafening silence that holds the castle in sway, like a dream? Looking out the window, you see the silver castle walls, no guard upon it. Are they, too, asleep?

Looking down, you see forms in the courtyard below: a shining white Unicorn, dirty and worn, led by a crude rope halter held by an old man that looks to be her very opposite in lack of grace. They enter the castle, closing the door behind them. Yet there is still no sound....

Cast of Characters

 Andy Blija:Gérard
 Kris Fazzari:Deirdre
 Roy Grutchfield:Julian
 Kat Lemmer:Fiona
 Thaddeus Rice:Caine
 Irene Schwarting:Flora

"There's a sign outside of my garden in ancient Thari that says, 'Poison, beware.' It's not my problem if people aren't educated." -- Fiona to GM

"Has my brother really been eaten? There's a small part of me that is bothered by this." -- Fiona to GM

"Um, Dworkin just ate Benedict." -- Fiona
"Goodbye." -- Julian

"Who is your mother and is she still alive?" -- Julian
"God, I hope not." -- Fiona

"I suppose we have to work out tactics for not being eaten." -- Fiona to the group

"I don't think sex with things outside of your species counts." -- Fiona, discussing the horror movie rules
"That's why Julian is still alive." -- Deirdre

"You're the only thing standing between me and that thing. What would I do to you?" -- Fiona to Gérard, trying to convince him to make psychic contact with her
"Program you to protect her life at the cost of your own?" -- Deirdre
"Not quickly." -- Fiona

"Somebody invisible just slit (the Unicorn's) throat? That can't be good!" -- Fiona to Caine

"You can get out of your clothes. That's the only way (to deal with the spell)." -- GM to Caine
"He's lying on top of me and he's going to get naked?" -- Fiona

"Luke and Merle's Excellent Adventure" by Jeremy "Bolthy" Zimmerman

In an effort to explore the infiniteness of Shadow, Merlin and Rinaldo, scions of Amber, created a device that would search through Shadow for certain parameters and deliver them to their lab for examination. The search parameters would describe figures from Shadow Earth's literature and history. [Yeah, hand-wave, hand-wave, hand-wave.] Unfortunately, their device never got tested. Or, so they thought.

Cast of Characters

 Stefan Amshey:Blackbeard
 Madeline Ferwerda:Doc Holliday
 Sol Foster:Trent the Uncatchable
 Mark Johnson:Baloo
 John Nienart:Buckaroo Banzai
 John Worlsey:Bugs Bunny

"I'm hoping the Keanu-Merlin impression didn't get to be too much?" -- GM
"Not at all! In fact, this was the most likeable version of Merlin of any game I've played in!" -- John ?

Slot 4

"Death Be not Proud" by Eric Todd

As a child of Order or Chaos, you believed the vast spans of the universe would eternally await your exploration. Yet, perhaps this has not proven to be true. Walk with your dearest Amber character into the halls of memory, greatness, Shadow and old age.

Cast of Characters

 David de Jong:Matheus, son of ?
 Madeline Ferwerda:Aisling, daughter of ?
 Rob Haight:Vaughn, son of ?
 Linda Voskamp:Lorelei, daughter of ?
 Cliff Winnig:Mordred, son of ?
 Todd Worrel:Adreano, son of ?
 Murray Writtle:Leo, son of ?

"Why...why have you created us?" -- magic-eating demons
"Because I have a day off." -- Mordred

"What are you doing?" -- GM
"I'm surfing." -- Vaughn
"Ok, so you're surfing along...." -- GM
"I'm really bad at it." -- Vaughn

"Well, I was going to surf until I hurt myself, anyway...." -- Vaughn to ?

"Nice pants." -- Adreano to the scary guy who looks similar to him, except for the tiger shark pants

"I actually completely agree with him. If someone acts like me, they might as well be me. On the other hand, if it's not me doing it...." -- Matheus to ?, hitting a philosophical quandary

"And they say, 'Hey! The House of Caine is at your service! What's up, dude?!'" -- GM to ?

"Wait, wait, wait.... Dad taught me a word...a word to use in situations like these.... Delegate!" -- Adreano to ?

"Do you know how many people are going to die if you don't do your job?" -- one of Adreano's flunkies
"I know two people who are going to die if I don't get my waffles!" -- Adreano

"Shrouded in Mysterlings" by Meera Barry

When asked about the Corridor of Mirrors, Dworkin harrumphs. "If you knew all of what you knew, you'd know too much!" he snaps, and looks disgruntled. "It knows when it's needed." Fiona says she knows, "Just enough to stay away from mirrors. I don't seek bogeymen." Deirdre's old estate, however, has mirrors on every wall, and ceiling, and all around...just what is their mystery?

Cast of Characters

 Stefan Amshey:Nero, son of Caine
 Sol Foster:Roland, son of ?
 Sara Mueller:Lydia, daughter of Deirdre
 Alisia Salliman:Cinderella, daughter of ?

[In Case It Comes Up In The Adventure]
"Oh... and I LOVE leather. I just thought you should know." -- Cinderella to GM

[Timing is Everything]
"Wait. Deirdre installed new lighting AFTER Patternfall?" -- Sol Foster to GM

[Deedee's Taste]
"She DOES wear my clothes." -- Cinderella
"And you've been widowed how many times?" -- Lydia

[Deedee's Taste, Revisited]
"There's a disco ball in the ballroom." -- GM
"That is SO last century!" -- Roland

[Caine's son, can'tcha tell?]
"I'm the soul of good nature." -- Nero to ?

[Naughty, naughty]
"She takes out something that looks like a candle...." -- GM
"Where is she going to put that?" -- Nero, eyebrow raised

[If you turn into the representation of the answer....]
"'What is your power?' 'I have herpes.'" -- Lydia, sarcastically

[Just a thought....]
"I personally don't want to play with the door marked, 'The Devil.'" -- Lydia to ?

[The usual apathy.]
"I wish I knew, but I don't care." -- Lydia to ?

[There are no black swans....]
"I'm not possessed!" -- Nero
"Prove it!" -- Lydia

"I'm going to stand on the edge of the bed, smoke a cigarette, and smile." -- Nero to ?

[I'm sure there was context for this....]
"You want to help, get her on the bed." -- Nero to ?

[Pretty please with sugar on top?]
"Roland, if you don't help me, when I get out of this, I'm going to kick your ass" -- Cinderella to Roland

[I could do a year standing on my head....]
"Roland SMASH." -- Roland and the mirrors

Slot 5

"Crossroads" by David de Jong

Where paths meet, choices are made, and lives change, there be the crossroads.

What is it that you seek out in Shadow? What dances like a mirage on the horizon of your path, tantalizingly close, yet ever unreachable? Or maybe it's the past pursuing that drives you forward, always in flight, but never winning free.

A game for players to explore the motivations for wanderers in Shadow. Blithe pretenses of carefree wanderlust aside, what truly has driven you to ride?

Cast of Characters

 J.P. Brannan:Soleil - This daughter of Brand just can't let her father go....
 Madeline Ferwerda:Van Oort - This Amberite left the one true world a long, long time ago, for reasons he'd rather not remember
 Don Ide:Wingedson - Why did he alone of his Chaosian friends survive the Shadowstorm around the remaking of the Pattern...when he has Bad Stuff?
 Randy Trimmer:Zhian - Hunted by her House, Zhian was playing a waiting game....
 Murray Writtle:Tiercel - His brother's soul trapped in a jewel on his forehead with the demon that tortures it, this haunted Amberite can find no rest.

"(Tiercel's) cute and cuddly in a tall, sinister sort of way." -- Don Ide to ?

"Waitaminute...(Wingedson's) got all this disguise stuff, but (he's) still got the big horns?" -- Randy Trimmer "(He) hasn't looked in the mirror yet." -- Don Ide

"Ok, so what are you going to do?" -- GM
"I'm going to...oh, this is gonna be really dumb...." -- Wingedson

"I'll suck what's left of the soul into the gaping wound in my forehead...." -- Tiercel to ?

"Get Shorty" by Joe Saul and Jesse Scoble

Who in the Amber mythos could possibly be referred to as "Shorty"? You'll find out....

Cast of Characters

 Stefan Amshey:Julian
 Simone Cooper:Random
 Kris Fazzari:Fiona
 Guy Gasciogne-Piggford:Mandor
 Camille Holthaus:Llewella
 Alex Karls:Corwin
 Lydia Leong:Dara
 James Mueller:?
 James Nance:?
 John Nienart:Borel
 Ken Taylor:Benedict?
 Cliff Wallach:Jurt
 Drew Wood:Character
 Adam Woods:Character

"Dworkin, work, Dworkin, work, which is scarier?" -- Random to the group

"You guys couldn't find me for 400 years before." -- Corwin
"I hate to break it to you, brother dear, but we weren't looking all that hard." -- Fiona

"Oh, that can't be good." -- ?, upon seeing Bleys, Fiona and Mandor talking together

"The Long Way Home" by Michael Sullivan

One day, you're the elite vanguard of the conquering forces. The next, your enemies have guns and you're counting the dead and wounded. And then some joker remakes Reality and destroys your road home.

You're a can-do, ready for anything, on your feet combat demon, and you're not going to let little things like a city full of enemies, the destruction of all your mates, and Infinite Shadow stop you from getting your one desire: to GO HOME.

Are you?

Cast of Characters

 Jennifer Crice:Lieutenant Glory
 Pol Jackson:Corporal Mishko
 Jeremy Zimmerman:Private Fritz
 Alissa ?:Master Sgt. Gundork
 Caroline ?:Master Sgt. Phosphorous
 Tree ?:Private Zoron

"So, are we Saving Private Ynar?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"Indeed." -- GM

"You realize that the long assault rifle bullets are not exactly stopped by a single Ewok's body." -- GM to ?

"And then he's hurting a bit more because you just bit off his head." -- GM to ?

"It's at this moment you notice is that Captain Orrin has been shot through the head." -- GM
"But is he all right?" -- Corporal Mishko

"And there's a village off to the northwest." -- GM
"Food...." -- half the group

"If we kill all the people, then we don't have to kill anyone and we have peace." -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"That's a lot of people." -- GM
"Well, we have until 4:30...." -- Pol Jackson

"I can put my gun under my cloak.... 'I'm just, uh, well end....' Never mind...." -- Private Fritz
"Is that a .50-caliber machine gun under your cloak or are you just happy to see me?" -- GM

"You're dressed kind of strangely for monks...." -- Amber soldier
"That's because we're demons." -- Corporal Mishko

"She looks kinda cross-eyed but otherwise she's fine." -- GM
"But she has no eyes...." -- Jennifer Crice

"You now have cover. It's an 11-foot demon." -- GM to ?

"Fritz is wasting copious ammunition from a high caliber machine gun mowing down small children." -- GM
"They're small, they're obviously infiltrators." -- Tree
"We're going to run up against the big nasty and he's not going to have any bullets." -- Pol Jackson
"(Fritz) is the big nasty!" -- Jeremy Zimmerman

"...and I don't want a hear a word from you, Canon Boy!" -- GM, describing the geography of Amber
"Hey, if you can figure out Amber geography from the books, more power to you." -- Jeremy Zimmerman

"If all of us ganged up on an Elder, we might not all die in the first 30 seconds." -- Pol Jackson to the group, prophetically

"Fritz has ADD. 'What? Trees? Where'd they come from?! Sneaky bastards!'" -- GM to the group

"I cover his mouth but not his nose. I know these humans need to breathe." -- Private Fritz to GM
"Oh those silly protuberances." -- Jennifer Crice

"So, I follow the trail of the blood back to where it begins, and then lick it up all the way back." -- Private Fritz to GM, covering his tracks

"Muzukashi Ten: Difficult Heaven" by Meera Barry

His Imperial Majesty, the Muzukashi, is a strange old man, one who knows better than any others the way of Trump. With the force of his mind alone, he holds open the six Great Gates. The seventh...well, it remains open, a reminder of the War of Seven Gods. No one goes there into the lands of Choi. The residents of Choi, however, have no such restriction.

Cast of Characters

 Patrick LaBlanc:Yoshi
 Kingsley Lintz:Jonathan the Wise (also known as Flyzzywyzzy the Insane)
 Glynis Mitchell:Miyuki
 Alisia Salliman:Tsuki

[Hunting Lodge]
"That's where I want to be...." -- Tsuki
"What, stuffed and on the wall?" -- Yoshi

[The Magic Words]
"Hum, hum, hum, abra cadabra, hum, hum, hum." -- Jonathan to ?

[The Big Wooden Robot and the Lamia]
"Ignore the struggling snake woman in the sack." -- GM
"What, Oda has Jedi Mind Tricks?" -- Yoshi
"Yeah, he's Oda-Wan Kenobi." -- GM

Slot 6

"A Comfy Night's Stay at the Happy Crossroads Inn" by Cort Odekirk

The rain drums a gentle staccato on the roof, seemingly in time with the gentle chords of the harpist in the corner. You settle back, sipping your ale drowsily and watching the serving boy methodically wiping down the adjacent table. Another server strolls by juggling a platter of frothy beer and carefully sets them down before a talkative crowd in the corner table. Standing, he casually whips the tray around and sends it skimming towards the older woman in the corner. Moving with a more grace than her advanced years and orthopedic shoes would suggest, the old woman leaps aside and returns with a volley of knitting needles, yarn balls and at least one mildly surprised looking cat. The tray, having been deprived of its primary focus, appears to have settled for rebounding off the wall and making a determined attempt at decapitating the harpist.

As the running and the screaming begin you find a comfortable spot under the table and find yourself wondering if perhaps, just perhaps, one shouldn't make use of Shadowmaps one receives from large talking pickles after three day tequila benders.

Based on the Dragon Magazine game "Bar Room Brawl," each player will be provided with characters, each with a particular set of quirks and motivations. You will all be placed in a large set of rooms and stirred vigorously. Complete your quests! Stay alive! For gods sake, at least save the brandy!

Cast of Characters

 Stefan Amshey:Unicorn (looking for a wife) and Chance (had just robbed the crown jewels from the Prince)
 Jennifer Crice:Christabell, daughter of Gérard and the REAL Fiona (or at least, the real one as soon as she knocks off that bitch in Amber)
 Paul Marshall:Primal Chicken (sent to destroy all humans) and Emperor Dustin (trying to find love interest before hero turns up, behind horrible intestinal distress)
 Chris Nelson:Zombies and the Dryad
 Karen Wells:Prince Charming and ?
 Jeremy Zimmerman:Lugdor, god of pasta and Harpist Lily
 Amy ?:Raphaela of Chaos (looking to express art) and Granny Chastity (old holy woman)
 Claire ?:Innkeeper (minor demon, lives off pain and suffering of others, protect dark guy in corner, use short red-headed woman to cause trouble) and Brand (help others understand that life is pointless)

"I don't know if I can play this character." -- Amy ?
"Oh, you'll do fine! She's easy." -- GM
"That may be the problem." -- Jeremy Zimmerman

"The server's cute?" -- Chris Nelson
"In sort of a 'I've been serving beer all my life' sort of way." -- GM

"Madame, madame, please purchase the dogs before eating them!" -- Innkeeper to ?

"You're missing both limbs but you're okay other than that." -- GM to ?

"My mother always told me about the birds and the bees, but it never made any sense." -- Dryad
"Maybe I can help you with that." -- Unicorn

"Have you ever tried to...seed your garden by yourself." -- Unicorn to Dryad, attempting to use a metaphor
"You've actually seeded your garden a lot." -- GM

"What I want is a pure garden." -- Unicorn
"You're not sure what he means. You have a very nice garden." -- GM
"I've never let anyone else garden there. I just never found the right seeds." -- Dryad

"Oh, god! We still have a living server!" -- GM

"You see a sword rise up." -- GM
"That's impressive." -- Dryad
"That's what I've been told." -- Unicorn

"I have just one question for you...." -- Unicorn
"Are you a virgin?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman, jokingly
"Are you a virgin?" -- Unicorn
"If you want me to be I will." -- Christabell
"Is she lying?" -- Unicorn
"No, she really means that if you want her to she will be." -- GM

"Do you think about...things...?" -- Unicorn to Christabell
"Actually, you generally never think about things." -- GM

"A bunny led you here?" -- Unicorn
"Yes." -- Christabell
"Did you catch it?" -- Unicorn
"No, it got away." -- Christabell
"But it's still your bunny, right? No one else touched it?" -- Unicorn, trying those metaphors again
"Actually it was just a natural bunny. It was from the wild." -- GM to Christabell
"Well, I thought it was okay for everyone to touch it." -- Christabell to Unicorn

"Family Resemblance" by Murray Writtle

...and after the Patternfall War they all lived happily ever after.

Somewhere over the rainbow, beyond the dreaming emerald fastnesses of the Principality of Arden protected by Prince Julian and his wife Fiona, beyond the sparkling magical realm of Rebma-beneath-the-waves ruled by Queen Llewella, High King Corwin presides over a land of legendary peace and plenty with the wise counsel of Dworkin, his beloved father's oldest retainer. Mad Prince Brand is safely confined in exile for the manslaughter of his sister Deirdre and the premeditated murder of his brother Caine. Not everyone is content of course, that rapscallion Random is always doing something wild and disrespectful, but he is seldom seen at court. Life as a playboy Prince or pampered Princess (Warrior, optional) is idyllic. Admiral Gérard and General Bleys provide swashbuckling careers to all who want them, vanquishing the infinite hordes of Chaos in time for tea with Princess Florimel. Master Benedict is unusually(!) taciturn and brooding. It is time to give up childish things and prepare for....

Cast of Characters

 J.P. Brannan:Quinlan, son of Flora
 Jon Carlaw:Michael, son of Bleys
 Kris Fazzari:Ariana, daughter of Mirelle
 Madeline Ferwerda:Udo, son of Deirdre
 Ian Goodwin:Eleanor, daughter of Flora
 Sara Mueller:Lorelai, daughter of Julian and Fiona
 Michael Sullivan:Miranda, daughter of Caine

"If you want the thrill of an incestuous relationship...." -- GM to Sara Mueller, on Lorelai's parentage

"Five in the morning? (Quinlan's) not saying hello to me at five in the morning." -- Ariana
"Well, actually, recently he has a few times." -- GM, thinking of Benedict's dawn practice sessions
"Oh, yeah, but I usually just put a pillow over his face and roll over." -- Ariana, thinking of something else

"Quinlan obsessively sleeps between 3 and 5 in the morning." -- J.P. Brannan
"My God. (Eleanor) is definitely avoiding her brother." -- Ian Goodwin

"Yeah, OK, I wanna watch (Bleys) dress, which is why I don't want to watch him dress." -- Ariana to the group

"Bleys and Corwin look dead grim." -- GM to the group, describing their reaction to finding Benedict's body
"No pun intended." -- Kris Fazzari

"Lorelai gets this Julian/Fionaesque smile on her face. You know, the one that says 'I've just been given the world's most wonderful gift, and it's bloodshed.'" -- Lorelai to the group

"Is the drake of the fire-breathing variety?" -- Quinlan to GM
"Well the village is, in fact, on fire." -- Michael Sullivan

"Lightning is spiffier, but anvils are much more startling." -- Lorelai to the group, describing her spell arsenal

"I'm feeling so glad that I'm about to be stupid." -- Lorelai, planning to have Fiona erase her memory
"You already are stupid!" -- Udo

"What did I dodge, out of curiosity?" -- Miranda
"Random's fist. Do you want to dodge the other one?" -- GM

"Am I not getting a chance to act because I'm getting chewed to death by hellhounds?" -- Udo to GM

"Someone's attacked the king! It's only natural to get your sword out." *pause* "To defend him." -- Jon Carlaw to the group

Slot 7

"Fade to Black: A Tragedy of Order" by Sol Foster

The Logrus and the Pattern have both outlived their age. Together they maintain a mockery of the old universe, and prevent a new one from forming. Can you usher in the new world by ending the old?

Cast of Characters

 Andy Blija:Justin
 Jennifer Cerise:Circe
 Michael Sullivan:Gabriel
 Randy Trimmer:Jev
 Bobo "Chaosight" Harper:Goku
 Don ?:Johnny
 Karen (?):Morgaine

"My...wolf paper." -- Circe to Goku

"Do not barter off the player characters." -- Don ?
"For PC's, we want cold cash." -- Randy Trimmer

"I am sufficient leader for you." -- A hapless robot
"Can I have a new leader?" -- Johnny

"What order are you shooting them in?" -- GM
"Alphabetical." -- Johnny

"Katie's Karnagetime Karol" by Meera Barry and Kingsley Lintz

Everyone knows that Katie Karnage brings toys and trinkets throughout the winter holidays to the best and brightest members of the Karnage Kid Klub. Karnagetime is a special time, where the Karnage Knight is chosen for the year. Problem with this is...Katie knows nothing about the Karnage Kult.

Setting: The third year of Katie Karnage games starts up after the others left off, in the reign of King Random, where the children of the Elders have formed a crack superteam (or is that a superteam on crack?) to deal with various minor problems in the Golden Circle. Florimel's daughter, Katie Karnage, is merely the most famous. This is a Sunday afternoon game, which means I know that you're tired, and silly, and that's the kind of game Katie Karnage games are. Anything over-the-top can happen...and sometimes does!

eXcessive Force members

 J.P. Brannan:Unicorn Man AKA Williard, son of Julian
 Kris Fazzari:OptiMiss AKA Cindi, daughter of Bleys
 Charles Gorrill:Mr. Richard Smoker, son of Julian
 Pol Jackson:The Conjurer AKA Stephen, son of Julian
 Cort Odekirk:Sweet Entropy AKA Lance, son of Gérard
 Alisia Salliman:Attitude Girl, daughter of Flora
 Richard Uyeyama:Lucky Guesser AKA Jordan, son of Gérard
 Karen Wells:Daphnie, daughter of Bleys
 Jeremy Zimmerman:Moonrider AKA Vincent Vega, son of Fiona

"How much damage does a sword do?" -- J.P. Brannan
"1d4." -- Cort Odekirk

"I'm Unicorn Man, I was poked by a radioactive unicorn." -- J.P. Brannan, introducing his character
"Just don't ask where he was poked." -- Jeremy Zimmerman

"Yeah, she thinks (Moonrider's) cute in sort of a 16-year old adolescent sort of way. She'll abuse him mercilessly. 'Oh, I like him, I think I'll kick him in the head.'"-- Cort Odekirk to the group, on Attitude Girl's attraction to Moonrider

"You hear his stuff in Muzak a lot on elevators. Once you edit his voice out it's not that bad." -- Cort Odekirk to the group, on Moonrider's singing career

"Please don't say that, I don't want to be related to the guy I'm hitting on." -- Alisia Salliman to Jeremy Zimmerman
"You're playing Amber!" -- most of the group

"Oh, danger alert. Snooze." -- Sweet Entropy's reaction to the danger alert

"No one has ever been harmed by spandex hot pants." -- Sweet Entropy to the group

"I tear the poster (of Moonrider) down (from the door)." -- Katie Karnage
"It's back." -- Moonrider
"I tear it down." -- Katie Karnage
"It's back." -- Moonrider
"I tear the door down." -- Katie Karnage

"So, we go to the festival and kill everyone." -- Sweet Entropy
"No. They're fans." -- Katie Karnage
"But they're not mine." -- Sweet Entropy

"So, OptiMiss, where to? The rings of Saturn? Uranus?" -- Moonrider, attempting to seduce OptiMiss

"This little man in the garbage can would like to speak to you." -- Sweet Entropy to the Karnage King

"Who is this small, annoying woman?" -- Sweet Entropy, referring to Attitude Girl
"My sister is not annoying. Well, OK, yes she is." -- Katie Karnage

"Katie smashes the table over Sweet Entropy's head. She's not trying to break his head, she's trying to break the table." -- GM Kingsley

"Is there anyplace that says 'Do not enter' on it?" -- Cort Odekirk
"Aside from Attitude Girl?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman

"That's not the Karnage Klaus, it's someone else." -- Katie Karnage
"Who?" -- The Conjurer
"Someone else. If I knew who it was, I would have said their name." -- Katie Karnage

"It's bloody gobbets time!" -- Katie Karnage to the group

"Noooo, I don't want to see Katie naked again!!!" -- Attitude Girl
"Again?!?" -- the group

"Mom has some taste, so she probably hasn't been with Moonrider." -- Katie Karnage to Attitude Girl
"Have I?" -- Moonrider
"Yes." -- GM Meera

"As soon as I see that Katie's planning to toss grenades around, I'm going to leave." -- Lucky Guesser to GM Meera

"Meanwhile, upstairs you hear the explosion." -- GM Meera
"Ah, Katie's here." -- The Conjurer

"The thing about the Karnage Klaus is, you give grenades to the children on both the naughty and nice lists. The difference is whether or not the pin is pulled." -- Katie Karnage to the group

"I have been reborn as Bitter Entropy!" -- Sweet Entropy to the group, after everyone else gets past the fence in a cooler fashion than he did

"It's a vapor construct, they don't like wind." -- Bitter Entropy
"Point Moonrider at it, he's full of hot air." -- OptiMiss

"Wow, a door we did not break open! This is a first!" -- The Conjurer to the group

"Do you have to be so destructive all the time?" -- Attitude Girl
"I'm Katie Karnage." -- Katie Karnage

"Is this the part where she goes back to the van and does the dog?" -- Cort Odekirk to the group, after Daphnie unmasks the villain

"I say, 'Well, this must be a mask!' And I tear off (Random's) clothing." -- Bitter Entropy to GM Meera

"Funny how everyone always wants Unicorn Man out in front." -- Kris Fazzari to the group

"You hear voices. 'Brand wants babes. Your master wants babes.'" -- GM Meera to OptiMiss

"Brand needs women." -- GM Meera to the group

"I'm throwing Random's head at the jewel." -- Bitter Entropy
"OK, it goes *splat*." -- GM
"That was anti-climatic." -- Bitter Entropy

Recurring quotes:

"To me, my board! Oh wait, it's already here." -- Moonrider

"What could possibly go wrong?" -- OptiMiss

Random Quotes from the Con

"So how are you, Roy?" -- Jeremy Zimmerman
"Tired." -- Roy Grutchfield
"Really...?" -- Andy Blija
"I got six hours of sleep. It's the most I've gotten this week." -- Roy Grutchfield
"Six hours all in a row?" -- Amber Cook
"What was it like?" -- John Worsely

"My notes for that game were only four words: Coyote. Bird. Evil. Evil. Next time I think I'll make more notes." -- Meera Barry to the Karnage players, talking about a game she ran

AmberCon Northwest

Kris' home page | Kris' RPG page

Counter  Hellriders have passed through here since March 21, 2001.

Done by Kris Fazzari.

Game descriptions taken from AmberCon Northwest 2000 Gamebook.

Quotes taken by myself, Meera Barry, Madeline Ferwerda, Michael Sullivan and Jeremy Zimmerman.

Comments in [] supplied by Meera Barry.

Last modified on April 14, 2009 by Kris Fazzari.

Made with