I suppose when one walks a twisted path to use the teleport system
at the center, one should not be surprised by what one finds there.  Oh,
great.  I'm not even making sense to myself.  My, but that's a big demon. 
Not quite as big as the Haunt o' the Infirmary, I suppose, or the one
Fiona dropped the ceiling on.  Similar, but not identical.  Either way,
though, I'm dead.  My life should be passing before my eyes, isn't that
what happens in the moments before death?  You see, I know I'm going to
die, because I don't even have Sequence out, and that thing could just
reach out and strike me down with one blow, long before I could hope to
get the sword clear.  Hm.  Again, I wish I could have that shape of Jubal's. 
	
	Well, I hope Ulysses does well in Foil.  Hope he doesn't wreck the
house.  Most of the women are like Elizabeth though, the wild orgies will
be well-attended.  Senlin is going to curse my name though, for leaving
him in such a position.  Poor old man.  I *have* wronged thee through the
years.  I suppose though, when I'm dead, he'll forgive me.  Hm.  Is this
the point where I ready my death curse?  Who do I curse in this situation,
anyway?  Tianen, maybe, but I guess she's beat, so that would be silly. 
Finndo?  I don't understand his game, anyway.  I know I won't swear fealty
to him, not that he's asked.  Random is the king, and as far as I can tell, 
the elders, and the kindest-hearted (except for Gerard, but Gerard as
KING?  I think not).  The Unicorn made a good choice.  Great-grandmother,
who tried to warn me when I went in after Ulysses.  She didn't try to warn
me this time.  I guess it probably wasn't really a warning, though, was
it, though I should have taken it as such.  Ah, well.  Life goes on.  I
even got Sequence back.  Poor sword.  Never understood it before, and I
think I understand it rather less now.  The fires of hell are like that I
suppose.
	
	"Halt."  I'm halted.  This is bad, this is very, very bad.  I don't
even want to speculate on this.  I am in Chaos, or very close.  Maybe. 
Wild speculations.  I could start muttering a spell, but there's that "it
could just swipe my head off" problem.  I think not.  A nice lightning
bolt, that would be very good.  Oh, no.  I don't want to be in Chaos at
all.  We just got done warring with them, and I lightning-bolted that
commander back in Avalon.  That was probably bad, wasn't it.  Oh, shit. 
What if I'm half chaosite?  I just don't like this idea, not at all.  What
if it's worse, and my father is an Amberite in league with Chaos?  Or what
if it's even worse than that, and my father is just a human lackey of
Chaos?  Or what if he's a demon?  What if he's THIS demon?  Does that make
me half-demon?  All of this speculation just raises the question, what in
*hell* was Fiona thinking when she conceived me??  Celibacy isn't SO bad. 
I've done very well at it.  For the most part.  Except when I visit Rebma. 
Geez, but that's weird. 
	
	Finndo came.  And everyone evacuated Amber.  To your scattered
shadows go.  I bet no one thinks to look for me here.  Yep.  I very much
doubt that, indeed.  So, what with time-flow differences and all, I should
be decayed to dust before anyone comes looking.  Well, good-bye world.  I
wonder if I should say I'm just looking for my father.  That might not be
a good idea.  Though it might, after all.  I don't know.  Does
sub-vocalizing work on spells?  I wish invisibility worked better.  I
could make it with a ten second spell.  Of course, if I were invisible, I
wouldn't be able to see my blood from when this character rips my throat
out, eh? Today is as good a day to die as any other. And if you think
about it, I've finished the trust left to me from Foil.  The puca thing is
settled.  I've got no more responsability there.  Except for Beauty, but
she's almost of age, and Caitt's really her grandmother, where I am not
really her mother.  I've got a few regrets of course.  First, that I won't
find out who my father is before this hell-spawned creature kills me. 
Second, that I won't die with my sword in hand.  Third, that I never did
get things straight with Fiona.  Fourth, that I never did get to even kiss
Archimedes. Or Ulysses for that matter.  I got to kiss Sandr, but that was
political, and not for pleasure, and only on the cheek besides.  How sad. 
Fifth, I'm not going to get to the roots of Sequence's unhappiness. 
Sixth, I never found that strain of orchid I was trying to engineer
without going into shadow to look for it.  Seventh, I'm leaving this life
behind before I'm really out of my adolescence.  I'm not even a hundred! 
I'm not even fifty, for that matter!  That's nothing to one of my kind. 
Eighth, I never got to talk to Adrian.  Ninth, I never got to prove
myself.  That last is the worst.  I'm going to die, and everyone is going
to be relieved that the addle-pated bubble-head is gone, can I have her
sword?  Well, you're all too tall.  Sequence is too short for all of you. 
So there.
	
	Damn.  I still haven't thought up my death-curse.