WELL, today certainly was interesting.  Laughter got kidnapped
once again.  It certainly never gets boring here in Amber.  Poor
Grandfather never gets a chance to rest and be comfortable.  Oh well, such
is the life of a king in Amber.

	Meanwhile, I could kill Merlin.  You would think that he would
prefer honesty.  I never said he didn't have a chance -- I just said that
he didn't as long as he acted like that.  I think that as long as he is so
pathetic, I would do better with a puppy dog.  I think he is a nice guy
and I might give him a chance.  If he ever gives me a chance to respect
him.  It is hard to respect someone who not only cries in his beer but
also had to have ME protect him from my grandfather's wrath.  I find it
rather hard to respect much less fall in love with a wimp.  Good god!  I
wasn't even THAT blunt with him, and he acted as if I were such a bitch. 
I do not consider myself harsh, but I consider myself honest -- I let this
go too far as it is.  I don't want to hurt him -- I just can't love him as
he his right now.  I don't want him to change for me, but I will not take
him as he is.  I think he needs to grow up or something -- he acts like a
little boy with his first crush.  He is so infuriating!  I should not feel
guilty for telling him the truth, but I must admit I do -- slightly.  Damn
him!  He made me feel guilty!!!  Ugghhh.  MEN.  Well, I can always hope
that he will realize that he has had an unhealthy obsession, and maybe
he'll even appreciate my honesty.  (Well?  I can hope, can't I?)