"You mean the door (to the outside) won't open? Oh that's bad." -- Mok to the GM
"My god, I'm talking to walls." -- Mok to the castle
"I'm staying, I'm not going anywhere. I admit, I tried to leave before, but that was before I knew the walls could talk." -- Mok to the castle
"Besides, I'm not gay, I'm bisexual." -- Ulysses to Sandr
"If we pay the innkeeper enough, he'll let us do anything." -- Sylvie to Cameron
And if they stuff them in my shorts, I'll pop them in the mouth." -- Wendi to ?
"I'm not a guy, all right, so I don't know the lines." -- Emily to ?
"He's nice, in a kind of testosterone driven, could go into a killing frenzy at any moment kind of way." -- Beauty to ?, about her Hendrake beau
"You keep touching my pillow." -- Liam to ?
"It's kind of like having a brother you never met, only he's not my brother." -- Sylvie to Ulysses
"Come on. Come on. You know you want to." -- Sandr to Mok
"Don't touch me there." -- Liam to ?
"It was war. People are mean during war." -- Cameron to ?
"It's fun to be mean to Sandr." -- Cameron to ?
"I'll just stay in the demon underworld, where it's safe." -- Merlin to Melanie
"Every time I use the Jewel of Judgment, it ups everyone's fertility."
-- Random
"Well, stop it!" -- Archi
"Mok, we found your dad a little half-dead along the way." -- Laughter to Mok
"Minotaurs are generally bad." -- Emily
"Except for these, which are from a girl's collection called My Little
Minotaur." -- Liam
"She looks like she might be bleeding to death, but hey, whatever." -- GM to Ulysses
"What House are you of?" -- Laughter
"None of your business." -- Cameron
"Not Halybard then? -- Laughter
"No." -- Cameron
"Trespasser! Get off." -- Laughter
"Then you went and did this stupid thing." -- Sylvie
"I'm a man. I'm supposed to do stupid things." -- Cameron
"That's not a warning." -- Sylvie
"It is if you want to be esoteric and obscure." -- Cameron
"I challenge you to a wizard's duel." -- Wizard
"You're kidding me." -- Sandr
"No." -- Wizard
"I shoot him in the foot." -- Sandr
"He clutches his foot." -- GM
"I shoot him in the head." -- Sandr
"He dies." -- GM
"That's your wizard's duel, you fuck head!" -- Sandr
"I'll be subtle and non-obvious about leaving." -- Cameron to GM
"They're starting to scream traitor as you try and leave." -- GM
"Well, I'll kill all the way." -- Cameron
"Are you planning on being an idiot for the rest of your life?" --
Rhiannon
"Well, you see, Sally Struthers doesn't have any career opportunity
schools in Chaos, so yes." -- Cameron
"Now she does smack you." -- GM
"I die hard." -- Archi to ?
"Well, that will keep Laughter happy." -- Dann
"I'm trying to figure out who I didn't have yet." -- Kris to ?
"(Flynn) appears to have been dropped on his head by the Shadow storm."
-- GM
"Well, if he landed on his head, he didn't break anything important." --
Archi
"I left my daughter behind many years ago." -- Flynn
"Yeah, well now your daughter has caught up with you, so get on the god
damn horse." -- Ulysses
"I'm curious, if you are my father, why did you leave me?" -- Flynn
"That's a story you really don't want to hear." -- Archi
"Alcohol bender." -- Ulysses
"This is shitty hospitality." -- Sandr to Finndo
"(Finndo) kicks you in the face." -- GM
"OK, so I guess I'll have to get out of the boat and walk the rest of
the way to Rebma." -- Sandr to GM
"I hope you bring the boat to shore first." -- Kris
"I may as well limp my way to Rebma and see who kicks my ass." -- Sandr to ?
"Did you know you're in danger?" -- Sandr's amulet
"No shit!" -- Sandr
"Give me a list of which (Trumps) I can take." -- Sandr
"Why don't you take Cameron's?" -- Martin
"No, don't remove my hand." -- Sandr
"Well, we can put it back." -- Cameron
"Sandr, you wake up in the labyrinth." -- GM
"I go back to sleep." -- Sandr
"It's a damn good thing I didn't get hurt in that deal. In fact I got a good meal. But still..." -- Sky to Merlin
"I see you are still having problems kissing men." -- Melanie
"Only when Sylvie's around." -- Ulysses
"Sylvie seems to have the same problem when you're around." -- Cameron
"I learned that trick when I was with the Hendrakes." -- Beauty
"The breaking my hand part?" -- Ulysses
"Well, that too." -- Beauty
"Who knows, you may wake up one morning to find yourself a lesbian." -- Sandr to Melanie
"You're so clever." -- Cameron
"One of us has to be." -- Sylvie
"I'm making the assumption that Maron has taken (Laughter), and I don't want to deal with it." -- Ulysses
"Well, I want you to make one hand look like the other hand... No, no, wait!" -- Sandr to Dworkin, while trying to get Dworkin to enlarge his deformed wrist to normal size
"I jump on (Finndo's) head with my Trump armor." -- Ulysses
"Well, now he's dead." -- GM
"Somehow I picture Ulysses yelling 'I'm crushing your head!' while he's
doing that." -- Emily
"Ulysses killed Finndo? What's wrong with this picture." -- Archi to Laughter
"Finndo's dead. Random's dead. Most everyone is dead." -- Cameron
"So, how's everything other than that?" -- Mok
"You're a lore master, if ever I met one." -- Mok to Cameron, after his confusing rendition of Finndo's death
"They rape your horses and ride off on your women." -- Liam to ?
"Vialle's been crying for at least ten hours? Well, her husband's dead, I guess that makes sense." -- Liam to GM
"You can take my sister back anytime you like!" -- Flora to Archi, referring to Fiona
"Fiona, darling. Cookies!" -- Flora to Fiona
"There's a real fine line between schizophrenic and kicking your ass." -- Dann to ?
"Laughter as Queen will be one of those 'I'm guarding the battlements' types." -- Flora to Archi
"Archimedes knows about (my being a living Trump)." -- Ulysses
"That's good. That means if I talk in my sleep it won't be bad." --
Laughter
"(Ulysses) is either watching his baby, or Fiona, since she's equally useless." -- Dann to GM
"What do you know about Laughter?" -- Archi
"The hell bitch." -- na siogai
"The hell bitch and my wife." -- Archi
"Sorry about that. It's meant as a term of respect." -- na siogai
"Can you go back where you came from and not return?" -- Archi
"I don't like the tree." -- na siogai
"Our plan is just to scare them, right?" -- Mok to Archi, referring to the two armies still occupying Amber
"If (the demons) eat any of the populace, they're dead." -- Archi to Laughter, about her new guards
"My dad's dead." -- Mok
"So is mine." -- Archi
"I will procure cookies, in one of the multitudinous ways that exist to procure cookies in this game." -- Ulysses to GM
"Which parent are you my sibling of?" -- Mok to Shandril
"One of those armies was mine." -- Shandril
"The one that left, or the one that was just here?" -- Mok
"Well, I guess anyone I don't have, I'll do." -- Sandr to GM, referring to Trumps
"I'm off to find a Shadow of gardeners that worship me as a god." -- Sandr to GM
(Maron's) not on my happy list." -- Archi to Shandril
"Thank you for not frying my brain. I do appreciate it." -- Archi
"That would not be a gesture of good will." -- Shandril
"I feel warm and fuzzy to be nothing." -- Sandr to the group
"I'm not inbred either. Just everyone I'm related to is." -- Melanie to the group
"Don't we have to swear eternal loyalty to Archimedes?" -- Sylvie
"Yeah, but it'll be done as a group, just say what everyone else is
saying." -- Ulysses
"(The horses) know the command 'friend,' but they don't know the command 'Ulysses is my dad.'" -- Sylvie to Ulysses
"Do I have to be the Queen?" -- Laughter to Archi
"Laughter, you should cast that spell that turns your clothes into
armor." -- Archi
"I'm already wearing armor, it's a state occasion." -- Laughter
"That armor is as good as your spell?" -- Archi
"Oh. No." -- Laughter.
"Oh, all right, we'll do the Benedict lace." -- Flora to Archi
"OK, so, bottom line, how many times do people fail to kill Archi?" -- Ulysses to GM
"It seems that you attract Shadow storms." -- Archi
"I would prefer not to do so again." -- Balin
"Is (Amber) safe?" -- Balin
"Well, no one's tried to shoot me since this morning, so I would assume
so." -- Archi
"(Fiona's) my mom. I figure if she wants to kill me, I can't really stop her." -- Laughter to Archi
"Mok's mother, Ismene, is flirting with you, which is pissing Laughter off, so yes, (Ismene) is being friendly." -- GM to Archi
"This time everyone's invited (to the funeral)." -- Ulysses
"Not just the assassins." -- GM
"We're not going to have any cherries." -- Laughter to Archi, after the Jewel burns down the cherry tree it was encased in
"God, you can't make yourself fire resistant? Lame." -- Wendi to Kris
"I have a problem with depression. I tried to kill myself three weeks ago. So, my sister thinks I need help." -- Sandr to his shrink, Dr. Edwards
"When are you most happy?" -- Dr. Edwards
"When I'm in the middle." -- Sandr
"When are you in the middle?" -- Dr. Edwards
"Not today." -- Sandr
"(Dann) hasn't been touched in while. Play with him." -- Wendi to GM
"Why does that always happen to me? Not that specifically, but things
like that? And why do you keep putting ideas like that in my head?" --
Laughter, after the invisible demon disaster
"I won't do that anymore." -- Archi
"If only (Laughter) would just stay on the battlements and guard." -- Flora to Ulysses
"It's OK if you're not fair, because you can always change the rules." -- Laughter to Archi, on how to be a king
"Laughter wants to do the nasty." -- Dann
"She's the Queen, it's the royal nasty." -- GM
"You want (Ulysses) to marry Tianen?" -- Kris
"As long as he's marrying someone." -- Wendi
"I can't violate non-confidences." -- Sylvie to Ulysses
"Laughter may be her own woman, but Archimedes is not the brightest man." -- Sylvie to Ulysses
"You're not inbred, not until you're children are. And even then, you're not." -- GM to the group
"Would you like to Trump there or Hellride?" -- Fiona
"Are you out of your skull?" -- Ulysses
"I remember everything I need to remember." -- Benedict
"I guess NOT." -- Ulysses
"You're not doing any better with (Benedict) than I did with the
Unicorn, so nahh." -- Wendi
"Yeah, but I got stabbed." -- Dann
"(Ulysses) isn't dead, is he? That would be inconvenient." -- Melanie to GM
"It is my goal in life to make you have more children than I." -- Archi to Ulysses
"Has anyone ever walked the Pattern while they are pregnant." --
Archi
"I did." -- Fiona
"That explains a lot (about Laughter)." -- Archi
"Ulysses looks triumphantly at Fiona." -- Dann
"She arches an eyebrow. 'I would have brought him back alive.'" -- GM
"You're in no danger here." -- Archi
"Certainly not from me." -- Ulysses
"That's right." -- Benedict
"We're having trouble getting the Trump manacle off of Benedict, and it's making it hard for him to pick up chicks." -- Ulysses to Dworkin
"My lord, when we were feeding the prisoner, we noticed that he was gone." -- Guards to Archi
"Is (Lady Alice) naked?" -- Sandr
"No." -- GM
"Of course not. I'm gay." -- Sandr
"How do I know you're not lying?" -- Ulysses
"You'd know." -- Tianen
"And how would I know?" -- Ulysses
"I'd tell you." -- Tianen
"Shit, (Claudio) had better not be (Archi's), or I quit." -- Wendi to the group
"Do you want to wake your mother-in-law up?" -- Ulysses
"Why?" -- Archi
"Because she's less likely to kick your butt than mine." -- Ulysses
"Where are you going?" -- Archi
"I don't know." -- Laughter
"Well, I guess some aspects of her personality have survived." -- Kris
"Your wife's whacked out." -- GM
"Well, she always was, but this is a new form." -- Archi
"You're in a foul mood today." -- Archi
"I'm in an impotent mood today." -- Ulysses
"Oh, that would be tragic for you." -- Archi
"It's a metaphor, fool!" -- Ulysses
"If I could be helpful, I would. I'm lucky if I can butter my own fucking toast, right now." -- Ulysses to Archi
"Shortly thereafter, you are deposited someplace unconscious, that you can't know because you're unconscious." -- GM to Archi
"If this ends up with me getting my head chopped off again, I'm going to be pissed!" -- Wendi to the group
"You tell me that I'm the king of some place I've never heard of, and
you want me to fight a duel with its king. Why do I not believe you?" --
Claudio to Abigail
"I don't know. We thought it was a pretty good story." -- Kris, answering
for Abigail
"Do you really want to draw that much attention to us right now?" --
Archi
"Like they don't know we're here." -- Ulysses
"If it was going to be a fair fight, we wouldn't be locked in the dungeon." -- Ulysses to Abigail
"I've been betrayed!" -- Claudio
"Well, duh!" -- Ulysses
"I thought you had all the answers." -- Melanie
"I do, but the universe keeps creating new questions." -- Fiona
"Do not sleep with the living dick. He will get you pregnant." -- Emily to Dwinn, referring to Ulysses
"I'm not going to sleep with (Balin) right after dinner." --
Melanie to the group
"That's right, you might get gas." -- Dann
"I want you to meet Claudio the Moor" -- Mok
"More what?" -- Sandr
"You're very forgiving." -- Kaedric, referring to Ulysses' imprisonment
on Ygg
"Well, it's all for a cause. Although, I suppose you could have clothed
me in such a manner that I didn't defecate all over myself." --
Ulysses
"You're getting a Trump from your daughter. The one that can hold a
Trump." -- GM
"I had to think for a moment to remember who that was, it's been so long
since she's bothered me." -- Ulysses
"Sandr figures that whatever can wipe out (Melanie) can wipe out him, and he's eating breakfast." -- Emily to the group, explaining why Sandr's not going after Melanie
"The Cult of the King is asking for formal recognition." -- Bill
Roth
"Give them formal recognition if they join the army." -- Shade
"Ghosts and Shadows"
Quotes table of contents
Next quotes page
Done by Kris Fazzari.
Last modified on July 29, 1996 by Kris Fazzari.