Session
127
Middlecourt, year 22, day 104 (Thursday, February 15, 0)
Afternoon
That really was too much fun. I so rarely get to fool Lucien
completely, that when it does happen, I savor the moment. I'll never
forget the plastic smile on his face when he smelled that burned pot... I
really had him going. And the boys... Poor Morgan probably won't forgive
me for days. His brothers will doubtless take much longer before they let
him live it down, especially after he made such a fuss about eating lunch.
All in all, I think it turned out rather well. They certainly liked the
food well enough, once they finally tried it. Not that I'd care to make a
habit of this, but it's good to know I could if I had to.
I can't believe Vincent refused Fiona. And then Trumped out right
in front of her! I guess Fiona didn't expect that either, for she didn't
stop him. What's gotten into him? When he first started learning Trump
from her, he was scared to death of her. Where did he find the courage to
defy her? And what am I going to do about it? I probably shouldn't do
anything. Fiona will handle it. She has to, lest it get around that she
allowed a 12-year-old boy to defy her. I've waited this long for Fiona to
have time to look into the situation, a little while longer can't hurt.
Still, I hope she examines him soon. His behavior is worrying me. What
if Sand is behind this, somehow?
Amber
Evening
It is both a relief and a torment to see Shard here at the ball.
I'd been wondering how he fared during Nicholas' absence, but I couldn't
bring myself to ask Lucien. At least now I know that he's all right. He
seemed rather unhappy with Eric, to say the least. Did Eric try to hurt
him while Nicholas was gone? It's painful to see him and not be able to
speak with him. Who else does he have to talk to? Perhaps Whimsy has
taken my place in that regard. I wish I knew. There's so much I wish I
could discuss with him. My worries about Vincent. And about Angelique.
Things I'm afraid to discuss with Lucien, less I add to the stress he's
already feeling. If only Nicholas would relent and allow us to speak.
What does he think separating us will accomplish? We shared a soul once.
That's not a bond that is easily broken. Sometimes I think this
separation is only strengthening it. There was a moment when he entered,
when our eyes met briefly... But perhaps I imagined it. Perhaps he now
sees me as merely another member of the family. I should hope that he
does, but there is a part of me that foolishly does not.
Oh gods, this cannot be happening. Please let it all be some horrible
dream. There are so many bodies. So many fallen. Are they all dead?
Who could have done this? Why? I can't let the children see this. I
couldn't protect them from being hurt, but at least I can spare them this.
I want so badly to get up and help, to do something more than just lie
here, but with every move I make, my stomach lurches and my head pounds.
All I can do is watch as others attend to the injured. And remove the
dead. Try as I may, I cannot tell who is among them.
I must have passed out. I remember trying to stand, and then
everything spinning around me. Now I'm in bed, and the headache and
nausea are gone. Lucien and the children are all sleeping peacefully. It
all feels so unreal. How could I be fine after what happened? I've got
to go back to the Great Hall. There must be something I can do to help.
I have to try.
The Great Hall is spotless now. I almost feel like I'm dreaming.
There were so many bodies here. Where did they all go? It's like they
were never here at all, now. Like nothing happened.
Eral, it keeps getting worse. Brand. It would be Brand. What
was Vincent doing in the infirmary? What was Brand going to do to him?
I've got to get out of here, but Vincent is too terrified to move, and
something's wrong with magic. Something's wrong with everything. I've
got to keep him away. I won't let him touch me. Not ever again.
Amber, year 22, day 106 (Saturday, February 17, 0)
Early morning
It was a dream. Only a dream. A nightmare is more like it. I
feel sick to my very soul. It all seemed so real. The way the dreams he
once sent me seemed real. But it can't be. He remembered me in the
dream, and that simply isn't possible. And Vincent is here, not in the
infirmary. It wasn't real. It was just a dream. The question is, am I
still dreaming now?
There are guards in front of the Great Hall this time, so I guess
I'm not dreaming again. Part of me wishes I were, though. At least that
the poisoning was a dream. Until this point, I could almost convince
myself that it was. Except the children and I would be in Middlecourt if
that were true, not Amber. And I wouldn't have been unconscious for more
than 24 hours. And Lucien wouldn't be closeted with Nicholas at this hour
of the morning. Thank the gods that the children are OK. I guess if I
survived, they would too, since they are better shapeshifters than I am.
But how many others weren't so lucky? How many children are orphans now?
The guards say there are no injured, but I saw so many bodies that
night... I will never be able to wipe that image from my mind. Not as
long as I live. Were they all dead? So many... It's hard to even
comprehend. One minute they're all eating and enjoying themselves, the
next...dead. Just like that. What if it had been me? Or one of the
children? I want to cry, but there are no tears.
It is an odd feeling to have amidst so much tragedy, but I am so
very proud of Lucien. To know that he provided help to some of the
poisoning victims, that he saved lives which might otherwise have been
lost... And he did it without my urging. It probably shouldn't make this
horrible event easier for me to bear, but it does, all the same. He's
changed more than I had realized, despite Angelique's return. Gods, I
love him more than ever for that. I just wish there was something I could
have done. Some way I could have helped. Why am I still alive, when so
many others fell?
"Outrageous Fortune"
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Last modified on December 8, 1998 by Kris Fazzari.