Session 137
Vetchways, year 27, day 245 continued
Afternoon
I guess things have changed here more than I expected. Lucien says
all of the houses are 3-4 times larger than they were before Zane came to
power. Large enough that people don't even need to marry outside of their
house, anymore. It seems odd to think of House Vetch as being that large,
when it barely existed outside of Lucien before. But if all of the Courts
are so much larger, what's keeping them from attacking Amber? Especially
when Nicholas is busy making war on Faerie? He did free them from Zane,
but that won't matter to some, especially those who still harbor old
grudges against Amber. Or those who supported Zane, and resent Nicholas
for his interference. Lucien says that Chaos is unlikely to attack Amber
while Despil is in charge. And of course, one of Lucien's jobs is to make
sure that Despil stays in charge. I suppose I could tell myself that at
least he's killing in a good cause, but that doesn't make it much easier
to think about. But...if he might help prevent someone from eliminating
Despil, the way Zane killed Gramble, with all the horror that followed...
Damn, why is nothing ever simple anymore?
The children have yet to run out of energy exploring this place. I
suppose I should be grateful. The newness of it all keeps them from
missing their old home. I'm worried about Bryan more than the girls. Ana
and Briana have each other to play with, but Bryan's playmates are in
Amber, with their mothers. I've been spending a lot of time with him to
compensate, and so far he seems to be happy. The older children have been
pretty much left on their own, since at 17 they hardly require my
supervision. It seems they have some vague memories of the time they
spent here when they were five, enough to make it not so strange to them.
Well, all of them except for Vincent. I'm still worried about him. I
know Fiona claimed he be safe where he is, but how can I be sure of that?
And what if he needs help? He could be somewhere safe from attack, but if
he is unconscious, he could die eventually of dehydration. I can't just
leave him out there, for what could be days, or weeks, or gods forbid,
even months. I have to find him. Even if it means asking Fiona to help
me do so. I just hope she is willing to do so.
Evening
My plans to search for Vincent appear to have been rendered moot, as
Whimsy has beaten me to the punch. She has him at Jesbyways. It isn't
the fact that she found him first that bothers me. But the fact that she
didn't ask me to come along in the search for my own child, or even have
the courtesy to tell me that she'd found him... What possible reason
could she have for doing that?
Jesbyways
Vincent is in a coma. It reminds me somewhat of how he was after the
two Planes of Trump merged...mainly in how he seems to have more Trump
energy present than he can handle. I remember all too well how that felt
myself. And how I was unable to do anything the last time other than keep
him alive and pray that he'd wake up. I fear his state now is no
different. Except that now, in addition to the fever, he has periods of
extreme cold as well...Trump cold. I just hope he fares better when he
comes out of it this time. Last time, he wound up unable to speak for a
time...and possessed by Sand.
I don't understand Whimsy at all. She has no idea of how to take care
of Vincent, but she seemed positively offended when I told her that what
she wanted to do would harm him. She even went so far as to imply that I
routinely poison people. What's going on with her? I appreciate that she
found him, but I really would feel better if he was with me. I at least
have some medical training, and it would be easier to take care of him at
Vetchways, rather than constantly traveling to Jesbyways. Not to mention
that it would look rather odd for him to be left here, given that Whimsy
and the Jesbys have no ties to him whatsoever. Surely, she must
understand that.
Somewhere unknown
This makes no sense. One minute, I'm trying to bring Vincent home,
the next, I'm in Castle Amber. The old Castle Amber. I'd think I was
dreaming, if it wasn't for the two Jesby servants who are here with me.
But Vincent is not. Why? I suppose I should be grateful, since it would
be hard to carry him around this place, and at least I can hope that he's
still safe with Whimsy. But it still leaves the question of why he is not
here with us. Is this Sand's doing, somehow? Could she have used the
increased Trump energy to manipulate the Trump in some fashion? But Brand
said he merged her with Vincent, so how could she act independently?
Still, it would explain why we're in the old castle, or what appears to be
the old castle. Sand never saw the new one, at least not from the inside.
The question is, where is this exactly, and how do we get out? Trump
doesn't work, nor does magic or Pattern, and I can't even access the
'Tween. I think that disturbs me more than anything else. The 'Tween is
everywhere. Where could we be that we're beyond it?
This place grows more and more disturbing by the minute. There is
nothing but blackness outside. Not the dark of night, but the dark of an
endless void. And things are...strange here. My quarters may appear
normal at first glance, but when I look carefully, there are things
missing. It's as if someone took a quick look around and tried to
reproduce the appearance of them, but not in any real detail. And the
furniture...I broke a chair leg off, on the off chance that there are any
vampires wandering around, and the chair grew a new leg. Not what
I was expecting to happen, nor were my Jesby companions. I wish they had
some skill with a blade...I'd feel better if they were capable of
defending themselves. What's even stranger is that there is an almost
Trump-like quality about the furniture in the room. Even in the wall of
the castle itself. And something else...sentience, perhaps? I can't be
sure. Even my sword has the same feel to it, which makes me wonder if anything we have is real. Not my Trump deck certainly. I'd wonder if I
was even really here, but my body doesn't feel like the rest of this
place, and I can still feel the baby. Whatever else the rest of this
place is, my body, at least, seems to be mine. Even if I can't find a
mirror anywhere to be sure that I still look the same. I suppose I must,
though, for the Jesbys recognize me. And they appear unchanged.
The castle seemed empty before, but now I'm not so sure. First there
were the glimpses I started catching, things disappearing around corners
ahead of us, or behind us. So I found a defensible room and stopped to
just listen. Really listen. For a few moments, I didn't hear anything
unusual...then I heard a door open...and another slam. Definitely
not an empty castle. Somehow I don't think the inhabitants will be
friendly towards us, either. If only I could figure out who was behind
this. Maybe if I make some effort to contact that sentience I detected in
the castle...
Well, that certainly brought a response, but not quite the one I was
suspecting. I should be grateful, though. If all the lights hadn't been
blown out, I'm not sure it would have occurred to me to try sonar. I had
no reason to, while I could still see. But what I'm detecting now makes
no sense whatsoever. There's nothing here. Nothing. No walls.
No floor. No ceiling. Nothing whatsoever, except for the two Jesbys who
are with me and...someone else. Someone far away. They're gone now,
whoever they are. But I know where they were. And that's as good a
direction as any to head.
This isn't real. I know it isn't. But it sounds real. It looks
real. So very real. Ana's voice, crying out for me, screaming in pain...
Her body, impaled on the wall, a sword through her throat, her body
gutted... I close my eyes, and I still see it. But it's not real.
My sonar shows nothing where her body hangs...nothing anywhere, except for
my two companions. Thank Eral that I thought of the sonar. I think I'd
be going out of my mind, otherwise. Gods, it even smells real.
Now it's Briana who's screaming. I tell myself that it's no more real
than Ana was. I still don't detect anyone else in the castle. But it
sounds just like her, and she sounds like she's being attacked...molested.
Gods, I don't know how much more I can take of this.
I should have known we would wind up in Brand's quarters. And that
I'd find Briana there. In his bed... I don't want to think about how she
died. Even knowing it wasn't real, it's still so horrible. It's just
like how Loryn died. That can't be a coincidence. It's too personal.
Someone is doing this to me. Someone who can get into my head, and see
all the things that frighten me. And I'm more and more certain that
someone must be Sand. But how can I get beyond this illusion? I know the
walls aren't here, but I still feel them. She's making me feel them, see
them, hear them, smell them. I've got to get her out of my head, somehow.
If I can somehow erect a barrier, like the one Vincent had, maybe I can
free myself of this. I have to try. I don't know what else to do, and if
I have to see any more of my children die... Illusion or not, I think
I'll go mad.
Gods, I should have known Lasker would be next. Those poor Jesbys.
If only I hadn't closed my eyes... No, that's what she wants me to think.
I had to close my eyes to try and block out this illusion, and she
doesn't want me to do that. So she makes me see Lasker, knowing how much
I fear him. Gods, those poor boys. If Lasker isn't real, how did they
die? But I can't detect him, and even a vampire has to be solid to feed.
Is the illusion so strong that if we think we die here, we really do? And
if so, does that mean if Lasker bites me, he could kill me? No, I know
he's not real. The Jesbys didn't believe this is all an illusion, but I
do. And if I can just get Sand out of my head, maybe I can find a way out
of this.
I didn't think he'd be able to take my sword. Not without my being
able to stop him. But just like that, it was gone. I lunged at him with
my stake, but he used my own sword to cut the point off, rendering it
useless. And then it hit me. The sword is part of this illusion. I
determined that earlier. Which means it wouldn't be hard at all for its
removal to be arranged. This still isn't real. I've got to remember
that. I've got to close my eyes and focus. It's my only chance.
I feel ill. I know this isn't real, that he didn't really touch me,
place his lips on my neck, but it felt so real...I couldn't help reacting.
I grew spikes. Lots of spikes. All over my body. And then he wasn't
touching me anymore. And illusion or no, I can't bring myself to shift
back.
It's been an hour now. There have been no more attacks, no more
screams from my children. But when I open my eyes, the walls are still
there. I'm going to have to try something else. This may be keeping Sand
from attacking me with her illusions, but I appear to be no closer to
getting out of here. And I can't keep this barrier up forever.
Shit. I should have guessed. If Sand couldn't reach me with her
illusions, she would be forced to face me herself. Unfortunately, I can't
hit her, but she's proved more than capable of hitting me. The two
crossbow bolts I have sticking out of me prove that. Gods, if I hadn't
done a scan at that moment, right before she came in, if I hadn't had that
split second's warning...I think I'd be dead right now, her bolt buried
directly in my heart. She's no longer trying to torture me
psychologically, she wants me dead. And there's a good chance she'll
succeed. Her first bolt deflated a lung, and the one in my leg has
severed the femoral artery. I'm losing blood quickly, I can barely
breathe, and that door won't hold her for long... How did the bolts get
through my armor? It's like it wasn't even there...
The door held her for even less time than I'd hoped. I barely had
time to begin healing the arterial damage when she burst through the
door...so I jumped out the window. I had no choice. If I stayed there,
she would have killed me. Even this void is better than certain death.
At the very least, it's bought me some time to heal. I just hope it's
enough.
I'm in Vincent's head. I still can't quite believe it. Neither can
he, from the sound of it. How can I be physically in his head? Mentally,
I could understand, but my body? And if he doesn't know how I got in
here, how do I get out? At least I know I did the right thing to jump out
that window. The castle is Sand's domain. She controls everything there.
And she's getting stronger, which might explain how she was able to bring
me there. Thankfully, Vincent says she can't leave the castle. I'm not
sure I'd survive another encounter with her. I'm worried about the fact
that she's getting stronger, though. It must be due to the excess Trump
energy in Vincent right now. If only I could do something to help him.
He wants to find a way to get me out, and I want that too, but... As long
as I'm stuck here, I'd like to do something to help him. Especially if
there's a chance Sand could dominate him once more.
That was...decidedly odd. I don't think Whimsy expected me to be in
contact with Vincent when she kissed him. It was a very strange feeling.
Poor Vincent. He cares for her so much. I hope she isn't just toying
with him. I think it would break his heart. And he's been through enough
already.
Brand has joined us now. Which probably wouldn't bother me so much,
if I hadn't seen all of those things in Sand's castle. He's leading us to
the Keep of the Four Worlds - or at least something that looks like the
Keep. I can't believe the real thing is in Vincent's head. It's crowded
enough in here as it is.
So now what? Both Brand and Vincent have jumped into the Fount...or
the representation of the Fount. Should I be following them? Is it the
way out? I wish one of them had waited long enough to explain. The real
Fount is dangerous to any but the Avatars to enter, and if that carries
over to its representation here, then I shouldn't follow them. Especially
in my condition. Unlike Brand and Vincent, my real body is here. Who
knows what the Fount might do to me...or the baby? I can't take that
risk.
I'm such...an idiot. Should have expected...Sand to show up. Getting
stronger, Vincent said. Gods, this hurts! Think she just...missed my
heart. Bolt is quivering...to my heartbeat. Too close. Too close. And
she's running...running for the Fount. No! Won't...can't let her...get
there. Can't let her...follow him. Won't let her hurt him...not again.
Moving so...slowly... Must stop her... If I can just grab...a hold of
her, without...getting shot again... Yes!
Jesbyways
I think I'm back. The floor feels so nice...cool. Losing blood...can
barely move...have to stop it... There...that's done it...I think. I
feel so tired. Where's Lucien? Oh, there. I knew he'd be here. See, I
fixed the bleeding. But the bolt...it's still there. Shouldn't it be
gone? Like Sand is gone? Ghost bolt from a ghost woman. I've been
shot...by a ghost. How strange. So tired...
"Outrageous Fortune"
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