Ariana's log,
Chapter 123
"There isn't much point in being
sincere when your psyche is so high that no one can tell if you are
lying."
Thursday, August 31, 2994
Breakfast. Whimsy talks to Ariana and tells her that she's
convinced Nicholas to give Grayson a six-day extension. Whimsy walked the
Pattern and gave up her faerie magic, so she thinks she can convince
Grayson to do the same. Grayson looks kind of worn out - unshaven, hair
mussed, that sort of thing. When Whimsy smiles at him, he glares back.
Whimsy asks if Ariana's going to Chaos. She was planning to. Whimsy
doesn't think she should leave her children. Plus, Whimsy will need help
fighting Eric when he moves to take the throne. Ariana says she's good at
fighting, not intrigue. That's why Whimsy wants her to stay. She needs
someone to protect her. Ariana argues that she has an obligation to look
after Nicholas, and to avenge what was done to Grayson. Whimsy thinks
that's Grayson's job. Gavin walks in, and various people remove their
activated danger devices, some more subtlety than others. Whimsy
continues to guilt Ariana. Lucien eats with a small smile as he listens.
Whimsy takes Ariana's hand and says she'll look after Ariana's kids if she
doesn't make it back. Ariana says she'll consider the possibility of
staying.
Ariana chats briefly with Grayson after breakfast, telling him
that her offer of help still stands. He nods. She notes that he looks
tired and suggests that he get some sleep. He nods. She invites him to
picnic with her family, but he declines.
Ishmael isn't there for the boys' lessons, so they draw by
themselves instead. Ariana tells them that they are no longer grounded.
Ishmael stops by when the hour is almost over, all hot and sweaty. He's
been with Laughter. He finds the boys drawing in their room and looks
over their work. Morgan still doesn't have much of a knack for drawing.
Ariana observes psychically to Lucien that he's taking after his dad.
Ishmael apologizes to the boys for missing the morning lesson, but he'll
spar with them as usual in the afternoon. He leaves, and Ariana hears him
talking to Laughter in the hall. She pokes her head out and says hello.
Laughter is also hot and sweaty. She tells Ishmael to bring his own Trump
of Amber to Foil next time, and Trumps out.
Ariana takes her kids to Arden for lunch. They run around, climb
trees, etc. Briana begins to manifest her shapeshifting by growing claws.
She screams. The boys laugh at her. Ariana tells her that Morgan's first
manifestation was much worse. Morgan stops laughing and falls out of the
tree. Ariana manages to calm Briana enough for her to figure out how to
retract the claws. She finds this neat, grows claws again, and begins
shredding some tree bark. Ariana tells Lucien that Briana is definitely
his clone.
Ana and Briana have their first lessons with their tutors. Ariana
spars with Ishmael. Whimsy arrives at the end of the lesson and bickers
with Ishmael. She asks him to fetch Thorn's headstone from Chaos and
gives him a Trump of the it. He threatens to tear the Trump up unless she
tells him who she was engaged to. After some arguing, she tells him, at
which point he gives her shit for being engaged to Jack. Ariana offers to
get the headstone for Whimsy. Ishmael says there's no point in discussing
that since she's not going to Chaos. And why not? He gets all
chauvinistic on her, which just gets Ariana's back up. After he leaves,
Ariana and Whimsy plot revenge for his being such an ass. They decided to
lace his food with a drug that will make him impotent, then send one of
the employees of the Pearl to his quarters.
While Ishmael is sparring with the boys, Ariana insists that
Jalana have some weapons training as well, so she can defend herself.
Jalana is frightened of edged weapons and tends to scream and drop them.
Ariana has better luck when she gets Jalana to try a staff. She still
doesn't like it, but at least she'll use it. Ariana plans to keep
teaching her.
Ariana goes into town to search out possible sites for the
hospital, and to determine what kind of goods she should import from
Shadow. She also broods about whether she should go to Chaos with
Nicholas or remain in Amber. The city seems mostly in need of raw
materials to be imported. She finds one or two good sites for the
hospital, and some potential staff. The reaction in town to her proposal
is that no one's considered a hospital before, but they like the idea.
Ariana returns to the castle and leaves word with Tamaryn that she
wants to speak to Felix. Felix Trumps her before dinner and she comes
through. She discusses the hospital idea with him and asks if he'll help.
He's concerned that it will suck up a lot of time, but agrees to lend a
hand when needed. He'll come with her into Shadow the next day.
Ariana returns to her quarters to find her children having a
discussion. They stop when she arrives and Jalana asks if she's really
going to Chaos. Ishmael told Jalana that Ariana was considering it, and
that he and Whimsy have probably convinced her otherwise, but he wanted to
be sure. Ariana doesn't deny that she was considering the idea, and
points out that Lucien doesn't think she's likely to get hurt. Can she
guarantee that she won't die? No, that's never a sure thing. Jalana says
she's going to leave them all alone, and begins to cry. Ariana points out
that she's leaving them with their father, to no avail. Ariana eventually
promises to stay in Amber, unless Nicholas orders her to go to Chaos. The
children are relieved.
Ariana tells Lucien of her decision. He's a bit amused by
Ishmael's actions. Ariana isn't. She says she feels like she's taking
the easy way out by staying safely in Amber. He says that she's a mother
with small children, so no one will hold it against her. Does he think
she's doing the right thing? She should do what her heart tells her is
right. The problem is, it wants to do both. He offers to assume her form
and go to Chaos in her place. She considers this, but decides that she
wants him to stay in Amber, since Whimsy said Eric may make a run at the
throne while Nicholas is gone. If that happens, she wants Lucien around
for his advice. He is far more devious than her, after all.
Dinner is uneventful. Gavin is there, but no longer sets off
people's danger devices. Ishmael isn't there, so Ariana and Whimsy
postpone their plan until breakfast. Ariana finds Ishmael in his quarters
after dinner and yells at him for using her children the way he did. He
shows no remorse, so she asks him to stay away from her kids from now on.
Then she beats things up in the practice room for a while. When she gets
home, Vincent is drawing a Trump of the castle. She learns it's for
Ishmael and says she doesn't want Vincent talking to him. Vincent doesn't
understand why. Because he used them. But it was for a good purpose.
That doesn't matter to Ariana. He insists that his art is his to give out
as he pleases. That's true, once he's an adult. He goes to his room and
slams the door. Ariana checks on him later and finds that he's gone. She
tries to Trump him, but he blocks her. Lucien thinks she should let him
brood. Ariana is afraid that he's with Ishmael. Lucien checks and
reports that he isn't.
Ariana goes up to the battlements to brood. Shard finds her there
and gets her to tell him what's bothering her. He doesn't know who
Ishmael is, so Ariana explains Ishmael's background. Shard says he could
give Ishmael a nightmare, but if Ishmael is like Ahab, it's probably too
subtle for him. Ariana didn't know Shard could create nightmares, but
agrees that Ishmael is anything but subtle. What bothers her most is that
Ishmael's actions took the decision out of her hands. Her children now
think that Ishmael saved her life, rather than it being a decision she
arrived at on her own. Shard understands. Does he think she's
overreacting? He thinks her anger will fade, in time. She admits that
she doesn't really want to hurt Ishmael, she just wants him to understand
that he didn't need to stick his nose into her business until there was an
actual problem. Shard says he has an idea.
Friday, September 1, 2994
Ariana stays awake until she sees Vincent sneaking back into his
room, then she goes to bed. While she sleeps, Shard shares with her the
nightmare that he's giving Ishmael. Basically, Ishmael dreams that Ariana
is killing him, over and over again. Ishmael tries to imagine that Ariana
is naked, and feels a sudden pain in his neck. Ariana realizes that Shard
bit Ishmael, which distresses her greatly.
Ishmael sits with Felix in the morning. He has what looks like a
small hickey on his neck. Gideon at one point throws some eggs at Felix.
After a little more conversation, Isabeux glares at Ishmael for a minute.
Vincent is surly at breakfast. Ariana is quiet. Whimsy psychically tells
Ariana that she's called off their plan against Ishmael. Ariana doesn't
seem to mind, but asks why. Whimsy's changed her mind.
Ariana tries to talk to Vincent, saying that she's not keeping
Ishmael away to hurt him. He admits that he gave the Trump he was working
on to Ishmael. He feels he owes Ishmael for helping him focus on his art.
He thinks Ariana didn't want him to give the Trump to Ishmael because she
was mad. She thinks Ishmael is still using him. Vincent keeps insisting
that he can make some of his own decisions now. Ariana understands how he
feels, but she isn't changing her mind about Ishmael.
Ariana Trumps to Shadow Earth and uses magic to check out her
father's grave. There's no body in his coffin. Too much time has passed
for her to find any information about who he really was or where he went,
unfortunately, so she sets about finding her raw materials for Amber.
Once she's gathered everything she needs, she Trumps Felix, asks him to go
to her townhouse, and then passes all of the supplies through. She spends
the rest of the afternoon sorting through the stuff and beginning to sell
it off.
Whimsy comes down to dinner adorned in strong-smelling flowers.
She appears to be high on something. She leaves a flower by Ariana before
sitting by Fiona. Ana starts giggling and painting Briana with potatoes
soon afterwards. What's even stranger is that Briana doesn't seem to
mind. Ariana diagnoses them and determines that they're drugged. She
removes the drug, at which point Briana punches Ana in the arm. Ariana
cleans Briana up and calms her down. Lucien twirls the flower in his
hands and mentions that it doesn't have this effect in Faerie. The fact
that it's from Faerie explains why the older children weren't affected by
it.
Whimsy leaves the room and goes up to the battlements. Ariana
follows her and tells her she's been drugged. Whimsy conjures an
invisible wall between them to keep Ariana from following her. Ariana
conjures water over Whimsy's head, in an attempt to get through to her.
Whimsy responds by conjuring oil over Ariana and then concentrating.
Ariana ring tightens in warning and she begins to cast a spell. Suddenly,
Shard appears between them and stares at Whimsy. Whimsy asks who he is.
Shard. Whimsy wanders off. Shard disappears back into the shadows.
Ariana sends a page to Fiona notifying her of Whimsy's condition and then
returns to her quarters to scrub off the oil.
Ariana is still cleaning up when Lucien returns with the children
after dinner. He asks if she's all right. She invites him into the
bathroom and explains what happened. She's worried that Shard might have
been hurt, and wonders what he was doing on the battlements before sunset.
Lucien says she has a habit of asking him questions that he has no hope of
having answers for. She says she could always stop asking him questions.
No, although he does think things would be easier if she didn't worry so
much. She thinks it's an effect of living in Amber. He disagrees, saying
it's something she carries with her. Then why didn't she worry when they
were in Bedlam, or while she was guarding Ygg? Because they were
fast-time Shadows where she could hide from uncertainty and danger. Since
those things have mostly found her in Amber, she associates them with
Amber. Had they happened in Shadow, she'd probably think of Amber as her
refuge, instead. Ariana says she still can't believe that Whimsy actually
tried to kill her. Lucien points out that Whimsy has been trained to be
violent all of her life, and drugs would remove her inhibitions.
Ariana tells Lucien of her findings at her father's grave site.
Lucien sounds surprised that there was no body. Ariana thinks he must
still be alive, provided nothing's killed him since. Lucien points out
that the body could have been stolen, too, although he doesn't know of a
reason anyone would have done so. Ariana says that might be better than
him still being alive. Lucien agrees. Ariana asks him why. Because
she'd be happier if her father was dead. Ariana admits that it hurts to
think he never bothered to contact her. Lucien doesn't respond, which
only upsets her further. She asks why she shouldn't take it personally
that her own father could just walk away and forget she even existed.
Lucien says that fathers are better off not being known, and if hers is
alive, he's not worth her time. Ariana rationalizes that given what he
did to Mirelle, she shouldn't expect him to care about his daughter. She
finishes her bath, dries herself off, then hugs Lucien for comfort.
Lucien says he can't stand watching her do this to herself, and that she
should just get on with her life. No other woman has ever made him feel
so impotent, since he can't seem to do anything to help her. It's just
one crisis after another. Ariana argues that she went for five years
without a crisis while she was at Ygg. And she thinks she's handling
things better than she used to. She tries to convince Lucien that just
having him around helps her, but he doesn't want to talk about it anymore
and retires for the evening.
Ariana goes down to the gardens to cry for a bit. When she's
gotten most of it out of her system, she goes looking for Shard on the
battlements and finds him sitting on the edge. She thanks him for his
help with Whimsy and asks if he was seriously hurt. He says he's mended
already. What if Whimsy had attacked him? Well, what if Whimsy had
attacked her? Ariana thinks she could have avoided Whimsy long enough to
become intangible, but if Whimsy had gone after him in daylight... Well,
she didn't, so he doesn't see any reason to think about it. She says
she'd hate for him to get hurt defending her. He points out that she
can't control him, so she shouldn't worry about it. It's his choice.
Well, she had to at least try to convince him otherwise. He points out
that he's managed to survive for over 400 years. She knows, but age has
never stopped her from worrying before. He doesn't understand worry,
anymore. The past and future are irrelevant, all that matters for him is
now. Ariana isn't inclined to become a vampire just to stop from worrying
so much, since she'd lose her other emotions too. He asks if she's really
happy now. Sometimes. Then maybe it wouldn't be a bad trade. She should
be happy. If her current life isn't making her happy, she should change
it. He comments that he thinks she often uses him to test her resolve to
live. Ariana denies this, saying she was honestly concerned that he might
be hurt. He tells her she needn't be concerned about him. If she wants
to pay him back, all she needs do is be happy. Ariana complains that
everyone is putting too much pressure on her to be happy. No one can be
happy all of the time. When she tries, she just winds up more unhappy.
But she shouldn't be yelling at him about this. Then who should she be
yelling at? Her husband. Shard smiles at this. Ariana admits that she
feels better now, and thanks Shard for letting her use him as a sounding
board.
Ariana asks what brought Shard out to the battlements before
sunset this evening. He doesn't need to sleep much anymore, and he likes
to watch as much of the sunset as he can. Does this mean he'll be
attending the coronation? Yep. Shard finds it rather amusing that she
should ask, since he was asked the same question not long ago by the lady
he'll be escorting to the coronation. He won't say who it is, but Ariana
is able to guess that it's probably Whimsy, once Shard admits that the
woman has seen him and Ariana together and suspects he still cares for
her. Ariana is reassured that Whimsy doesn't know more than that. It's
not that she holds what happened between them against Shard, but it might
make people nervous about his presence in Amber. Plus, those people who
know Brand raped her might begin to wonder at a second incident. Shard
looks quite angry at the mention of Brand. Ariana assures him that she
doesn't in any way associate what happened between them with what Brand
did to her. Shard nods and is silent for a while. When Ariana asks what
he's thinking about, he says that he is a gentleman and won't burden her
so. Ariana asks if he got so upset with Ishmael because of Ishmael's
ungentlemanly thoughts about her. Possibly. He says that one bite is
nothing to worry about. She knows that better than most, but it still
bothers her. Why did he bite Ishmael? He was hungry, Ishmael was there,
and he felt her anger. So, if she hadn't been angry at Ishmael, it might
not have happened? Shard lifts her chin with his hand and stares into her
eyes, telling her that she isn't always to blame. Suddenly, Ariana
doesn't feel like what happened to Ishmael was her fault. Then Shard
pitches back over the side of the battlements, leaving Ariana alone.
Ariana returns to her quarters and spends some time with her
children. Vincent is still a bit surly, but he leaves her alone and
doesn't say much. None of the boys give her much of a goodnight. Ariana
broods for a bit before going to bed.
Saturday, September 2, 2994
Lucien gets up early the next morning. Ariana corners him in the
bathroom and asks if he's feeling any better. That depends. On what?
Any number of things. Ariana asks him if they can discuss this like
rational adults. He tells her to speak her mind. She says she's noticed
that when something upsets her, instead of offering her comfort, he gets
mad at her, which makes her feel guilty for upsetting him, which makes him
angrier, which makes her more upset, etc., until one of them leaves. She
knows he wants her to be happy all the time, but that's impossible. She
asks him not to yell at her for getting upset, if he truly wants to help
her. Fine. Fine what, that he agrees with her, that he doesn't want to
argue, or he wishes she'd go away and leave him in peace? All of the
above. She gets mad and tells him to be alone if that's what makes him
happy, then stalks off and heads into town. She spends the day finishing
the distribution of the stuff she brought back from Shadow and selecting
which lot she wants to purchase for the hospital. She begins negotiations
to buy the land, which keeps her busy until dinner.
Lucien and the children are present at dinner. Jalana asks how
Ariana's day went, so Ariana tells her. Much to Ariana's surprise, the
boys are no longer ignoring her. As a matter of fact, not only are they
paying attention to her, they're minding their manners, as well. She
spends the meal asking the children how they spent their day. Lucien
mostly listens and doesn't seem angry anymore.
After dinner, the boys leave to play in the gardens while Ariana
brings Jalana and the younger girls over to play with Devlin and Mirelle.
Mirelle still seems a bit touched, but not in a dangerous way. They play
with the children for a while, then Ariana returns home and puts Ana and
Briana to bed. She emerges to find that Jalana's retreated to the boys'
bedroom, leaving Lucien alone in the sitting room, reading a book. Ariana
observes that Jalana seems to think they need to be left alone. Lucien
agrees. Ariana asks if he still wants her to go away and leave him alone.
He never exactly said that. What he said amounted to the same thing. He
sighs. She leaves the room for a few minutes, then returns and hands him
the letters she wrote to him while she was at Ygg. She's hoping that if
he reads them he'll understand that she isn't the same as when she left.
He says he knows that, but he'll read them if she wants. He honestly
hasn't seen a change in her, but admits that maybe events are conspiring
against her. She points out that nothing has upset her to the extent that
it would have before, and there've been plenty of events that could have.
He's glad to hear that. Then will he stop getting so upset with her?
He'll attempt to curb his reactions. She thanks him for talking to the
boys, hugs him, and asks why he thinks they've been fighting so much. He
honestly doesn't know. He thinks they're reaching the point where they're
coming to terms with their differences, though. Ariana points out that
they both have a tendency to leave when they're really upset. True, but
as long as they come back to it, Lucien doesn't see the harm in it.
Ariana figures it probably gives them time to cool their tempers a bit.
Oh yes. Ariana asks if she had that much of a temper when she was Loryn.
Oh no, Loryn was such a sweet thing. Ariana asks if he's implying that
she's not a sweet thing. Well, he hasn't tasted her recently... She
kisses him, and they retreat to the bedroom for a while.
Ariana returns to the sitting room shortly before the boys are due
back and finds Jalana working in her needlepoint with a big grin on her
face. Ariana comments that she seems rather pleased about something.
Jalana claims that she's too young to discuss such things. Ariana
mentions that she had been thinking of having another baby, and asks
Jalana what she thinks about that possibility. Jalana loves the idea, of
course. The boys return and go to bed without incident. Ariana spends
the rest of the evening drawing a Trump sketch of Ander Arion.
Quotables:
"I'm raising an armory...army." -- Ishmael to the group
"Ishmael does not have the gift of prophecy." -- GM
"I was raised by Fiona, wasn't I?" -- Ishmael
"So was I, fuckhead!" -- Whimsy
"I will be coronated in six days. I cannot allow a walking menace to roam
around the castle." -- Nicholas
"Ah, that I can understand." -- Gavin
"Perhaps (the Chaosites will) want the table in the Great Hall, I
understand it's well-renowned." -- Whimsy to Alexandra
"Hey now, I just replaced that!" -- Felix
"If (Whimsy's) getting shoes, what are you doing here today?" -- Alexandra
"Oh, nothing. Just getting out." -- Felix
"The GM told me that plot lay this way." -- Kris, speaking for Felix
"There isn't much point in being sincere when your psyche is so high that
no one can tell if you are lying." -- Matthew R.
"We just assume that (Whimsy) is always lying." -- Sean
"(She's) like Mandor that way." -- Kris
"Did Vixen cause you any trouble?" -- Felix
"You mean, did she hit me in the face? Did she leave me unconscious and
bleeding on the forest floor? Yes!" -- Whimsy
"Gideon throws a plate of eggs at Felix." -- GM to Liam
"Gérard is going to have a talk with Gideon about wasting food." --
Matt S.
"Briana has a very strong mind for a child her age. Briana has a very
strong mind for a child my age." -- Felix to Ishmael
"You're not going to find spectacular (fighters) in Shadow." -- Nicholas
"Then what good is it?" -- Ishmael
"(Ishmael's) not wise, but (he's) not fucking stupid, either." --
Lisamarie
"You're not fucking anything." -- Liam
"You could lose your Trump deck, be without art supplies..." -- Nicholas,
referring to why Ishmael might need Pattern when he can draw Trump
"I'll just piss in the snow." -- Ishmael
"Even you're not that talented." -- Nicholas
"I've got something caught in my throat. Oh, that's vengeance." -- Irene
to the group
"(The flowers) aren't poisoned?" -- Whimsy
"How would you tell?" -- GM
"Do you notice anything odd about Whimsy?" -- Ariana
"She's smiling."-- Lucien
"Outrageous Fortune"
Game Logs for Sessions
1-115 |
Character Logs for Sessions
116+
All text on this page is © 1998 by Kris Fazzari, with the exception of
the attributed quotes.
Last modified on July 7, 1998 by Kris Fazzari.