Chapter Seventy-seven

"A Shadow full of disposable people, and there still isn't any fun."

Saturday, May 6 - Monday, May 8, 2994

Foster attempts to convince Felix that he's under a spell. Felix doesn't believe him, and eventually goes off by the river to sulk.

Laughter suggests that Ariana should tell Meander about Vialle, since Vialle is blind too. Maybe later. Ariana goes outside to conjure the money to buy Driscoll, and to work on the spell to cure Meander's blindness. She attempts to contact Riftvan through her ring, but fails.

Laughter goes upstairs to talk to Looks Twice, and the faerie wars are discussed again. He tells her one of the creation stories of the Discworld.

Ona the vampire flies along with Reeshau, who is in Alex's body. They bicker as they draw near to Tallefellow's. Apparently Alex was locked in a cell next to Reeshau, who was dying. Reeshau cast a spell, Alex's Spikard flashed, and now he's in Alex's body. Currently, Alex and Rashan, another personality that Reeshau had done this to in the past, are stuck in the background, while Reeshau is the controlling personality.

Bart continues observing "everything." Hickory eventually flies back into the dining area, and is relieved that Felix is gone. Ahab tries to convince Hickory to dust Jackie with faerie dust. No dice. Bacchus walks over, and tells them that their rooms have been arranged. Then he wonders where most of them have gone. Bart tells him who has left. Bacchus leaves Bart and Ahab their keys, and says to have the others come see him when they get back. Ahab goes to sleep.

Ariana finds Laughter, who is still talking to Looks Twice. Ariana points out that Song has probably been separated from Driscoll, and asks if there's any way to summon it. Laughter's not sure, but figures she and Foster working in conjunction might be able to find it. Sequence smugly points out that Laughter's never needed to summon it, since it is never away from Laugher. Ariana reminds it of the time it was stuck in the anvil, which pleases it not at all. Ariana goes back to working on her spell.

Laughter takes off to find Foster, but he's not in the inn. Yelling for him outside produces no results, either, so she creates a will-o'-the-wisp to find him. It explodes against his ass, producing quite a yelp. Good thing he's a shapeshifter. Laughter hurries to him and apologizes. Ariana follows the commotion as well, but decides she wants no part of this, and remains concealed in the woods. Laughter explains about Song, and wants to go back to the inn and search for it. Foster doesn't want to leave Felix alone. Laughter sits down next to Felix, who is throwing rocks in the river. When she won't go away, he leaves. They follow him back to the inn, where Felix goes to his room. Foster casts a spell on it the door, to prevent Felix from leaving. Then he works on the location spell. Verdegris and Song are both found in a room, chained with some sort of metal. Song is hung off of a pillar, so it can't reach the floor, and there's a circle around it, marking the extent of its reach. Driscoll's Trumps are elsewhere, in a mahogany box in the quarters of some fat Eastern fellow. Foster and Laughter spend the night working on some additional spells. Laughter's spells include several will-o'-the-wisp spells, of an even more powerful variety.

Ariana spends the night outside, continuing to work on her spell. In the wee hours of the morning, she senses something very similar to what she senses around Shard, and spots Ona and Alex as they fly into the inn and down to the dining area. Ariana follows. Much confusion ensues, until it is made apparent that Alex is possessed by Reeshau. Keimo and Hickory are glad to see him. Ariana keeps a wary eye on the vampire, and talks with Bart, who remained in the dining area all night. Bart says he doesn't want to go with them in the morning, since they don't need him to rescue Driscoll, and he's studying. Whatever. It's almost dawn, so Keimo and Hickory leave with Ona in search of a coffin.

The magically inclined sense a lot of magic coming from the courtyard. Ariana investigates, and is told by Keimo that Reeshau is retrieving his hat. Which he left in his cell in Cedric's castle. Gee, think Cedric will notice? Ariana hits Reeshau with a rock to stop him, but it's too late, the hat has already arrived. The blow does bring Alex's personality to the fore, though. It's a matter of opinion as to whether this is a good or bad thing. Alex has no recollection of anything that happened while Reeshau was in control. Ariana fills him in, as Laughter arrives to investigate what she sensed. She tells Ariana where Song and Verdegris are.

Ariana and Laughter figure it's time to get going, and wake up the others. Usires is missing. Everyone else meets in a small room that Bacchus shows them to, and Ariana asks who's seen Usires. Meander looks worried. Laughter uses her talking bones to contact Usires, who's by the river, and doesn't know how he got there. Laughter tells him to join them. Once he does, Ariana explains that Bart won't be joining them, and outlines her plan. She, Jackie and Alex will be the group that buys Driscoll; Laughter, Foster, Hickory and Meander will be in one of the groups keeping an eye on things, and Ahab, Usires, Felix and Looks Twice will be in the other one. Keimo will form his own group, mostly so he can't get the rest of them in trouble. The plan is altered slightly when Keimo scrunches Reeshau's hat on his head, which brings Reeshau's personality to the fore. Ariana and Jackie decide that Reeshau and Keimo will form their own group. Jackie emphasizes that it is best to obey the city guard in whatever they ask, since the consequences for disobedience are dire.

Ariana and Jackie leave first. They discuss who Ariana should claim to be if questioned. Jackie suggests pretending that she's the matriarch of a farming family from Gadlin, which is a farming community. They reach the market, and find Driscoll among the demi-humans. He is wearing very little, and has a band around his neck that contains an odd, smoky substance. Driscoll recognizes Ariana, but thinks everything is fine. He's obviously drugged out of his mind.

Laughter chats with Meander on the way in. The details were handled over e-mail, so that's all the log has to say about it.

Ahab's group enters Altair, and notices that Looks Twice is drawing attention, probably because he isn't enslaved. Looks Twice suggests that Ahab ride him, which decreases some of the attention. Ahab tells Usires to feel free to glare at anyone who pays them too much attention. Usires does so, and notices that his Viking garb appears to be gaining him some respect.

The three groups eventually reach the slave market, which is huge. There are good seats, which you can pay for, or you can mill with the general crowd. Ariana pays for the good seats, since they are buyers. Jackie puts Ruepert down and instructs him to stay put and not look up her skirt. Ariana emphatically dittos this. Ruepert accepts his sad lot in life. Laughter's group also pays for the good seats, since the crowd is bothering Meander. Ahab's group opts to stand with the crowd, since they're supposed to be poor fighters, and the seats really aren't designed for centaurs, anyway.

Reeshau finds a city guard, and asks him if he's seen some mobile luggage running around. The guard gives him lots of attitude. Reeshau goes to the library and bothers the librarian, a large orangutan. The librarian takes him to Reeshau's old room, where the luggage is chained to the floor. It grumbles. The librarian hands Reeshau the key, and runs away. Reeshau gives the key to Keimo, and tells him to set the luggage free. Keimo hands the key back, and says he's nuts. He points out that Reeshau is no longer in his old body. Reeshau tries to convince the luggage that he's really Reeshau. The luggage looks excited. Reeshau asks for his staff back. Well, it's in the luggage, which is locked. Oops. Reeshau unchains the luggage, which dances around, and then rubs up against his leg. He asks it for his staff. It spits splinters at him, followed by the crystal that used to be at the top. They decide to head to the bazaar, with Reeshau riding on top of the luggage. Well, they certainly look bizarre.

The auction begins. Each slave is led out, any special skills he or she possesses is demonstrated, and then the robe they are wearing is removed. Reeshau arrives as Driscoll is brought out. His robe is of much better quality than the other slaves, and it's the same color as his eyes. The auctioneer goes into high gear about Driscoll's qualities. He has Driscoll conjure himself a lute, and then has him perform. A hush falls over the crowd as Driscoll sings a Lazarian song. His voice is indescribably beautiful. Jackie looks worried, and Ariana begins conjuring more money. Eventually, the song ends, and the robe is removed. The bidding is fast and furious, but Ariana manages to buy Driscoll, for virtually all the cash she has. He is led away, and Ariana draws some envious looks. She looks smug.

Ahab notices that some unsavory characters are eyeing Looks Twice. He points this out to Looks Twice, who explains that he used to be a slave, but he escaped. The unsavory types pull out lassos and throw them at the centaur. Ahab cuts the rope, and his group attempts to leave. Unfortunately, they've drawn the attention of the city guards, who order them to halt. They do this thing. Reeshau, who spotted them, and was riding the luggage that way, teleports them, himself, Keimo and the luggage back to Tallefellow's.

The guards begin searching for the caster, and notice Foster, who was in the process of casting a spell to teleport Ahab's group away himself. As they advance towards him, Laughter jumps into Foster's lap, kisses him, and says, "That was a love spell, wasn't it?" Hickory explains this to the guards, and they buy the fairy's story.

As the teleported group appears outside of Tallefellow's, Looks Twice rears up with a snort, then gets his bearings. Keimo explains how Reeshau saved their asses. Looks Twice says it was a fluke that anyone who could recognize him was there. Felix expresses concern that the teleport was traced. Not if Reeshau remembered to put up a magical block to prevent this. But the guards won't come out of Altair, anyway. All they have to worry about is the slavers. This is fine with Usires, who would like to pound something.

Ariana pays for Driscoll, and begins leading him back to the inn. Once they are clear of Altair, she conjures him a cloak, since he is virtually naked. Jackie doesn't want to remove the band that is keeping him calm until they get back to Tallefellow's, since he's bound to be rather pissed when he comes to his senses. Laughter discretely casts about nine of her explosive will-o'-the-wisp spells, one for each slaver, and sends them back into Altair. About half-way back to the inn, Laughter disappears. Foster explains what she did, and Ariana is pissed. Foster wants to go after her, but Ariana insists that they rejoin the others first, since Jackie doesn't think they'll kill Laughter right away. They hurry back to Tallefellow's.

Bart finishes what he was working on, and sleeps until afternoon. He wakes up as Ariana's group arrives. She explains to everyone what happened to Laughter. Jackie says it's dangerous to use any powerful magic right now, since the city is probably looking for any further attacks. Which means that Driscoll can't be released, and they can't try to find Laughter. Unless Reeshau can set up a block... Ariana and Jackie head into the inn to find the wizard. He is in the dining area, along with Bart, and someone who looks just like Laughter. This turns out to be Ariel, Bart's familiar, who usually inhabits the pearl on Bart's belt. No one wants to ask why she looks like Laughter's twin. Jackie convinces Reeshau to set up a block, and removes the band from Driscoll. He is not happy, and asks for a room in which he can be alone for a while. Ariana offers him hers, since she never used it.

Laughter appears in an octarine tube. (Yes, the color really is octarine. Don't ask me. I just write it down.) Sequence says, "What the hell?", before Laughter hushes it. She touches the tube with her toe, and her lower leg goes numb. There are several city guards and wizards around the tube, and they appear to have heard Sequence. Laughter tries a spell, which fails. She asks one of the guards why she's there, and he thoughtfully writes out how fucked she is. The wizards cast a spell, which creates another tube, then cast a second spell, which puts Laughter in the new tube, minus all metal. Sequence's earlier words about never being separated from Laugher come back to haunt it, and it begins banging around the first tube in a berserk rage. Laughter is not happy about losing her metal buttons, and holds her shirt closed. The guard she spoke to before pointedly stares at her breasts. She returns the favor by staring at his crotch and shaking her head. He looks annoyed, and goes to speak to the wizards. A few minutes later, one of the wizards sticks a small tube into Laughter's tube, and makes to inject some gas. Laughter covers the hole with her boot. The wizards teleport her to another tube, minus any cotton, then to another, minus any leather. This leaves her buck naked. Then the wizards try injecting the gas again. Why they didn't just teleport her into a tube already filled with the gas is anyone's guess. Disc wizards are none too bright. Lacking anything else to block the gas, Laughter sticks her finger in the hole. This hurts a lot, but she keeps doing it. The wizards seem impressed at how long she endures this, but she eventually falls unconscious.

Laughter wakes up in a cell in a chain-mail bikini, with her hands tied behind her back. The guard that was staring at her breasts takes her deposition. He asks if her baby is somewhere safe, because she won't be seeing it for a while, and tells her that the Hasrhanians are calling for her head. Personally, the guard finds the whole thing rather amusing. Orion, the magistrate, is considering several options, none of which are particularly pleasant. He isn't likely to kill her, since none of the Hasrhanians died. He is considering mutilation, though, since it is a Hasrhanian custom. She asks if they'll drop the charges to just toes or fingers. Maybe. Selling her as a sex slave is also at the top of the list. Laughter would rather have the mutilation. The guard asks if she attacked solely on moral grounds. Well, one of the people they were holding did propose marriage to her at one point... He asks which one. The expensive one. She claims not to know the woman who bought him. He's more interested in talking to the slave, since her sentence will be lighter if they can prove he was taken against his will. She tells him of her talking bones, and he leaves to get them.

Ariana fetches Foster and suggests that he work with Reeshau to find Laughter. Reeshau sets up another block, and Foster casts his location spell. The defenses around Altair are strong enough that he can only get a visual image. Laughter is sitting alone in her cell. Foster says the defenses are too strong for him to slip a teleport spell in, but maybe Reeshau can. Reeshau refuses, so Jackie begins unbuttoning her blouse. Apparently Disc wizards are celibate, for the most part, since they lose their power for a certain amount of time after having sex. Reeshau gives himself a cold shower, and Alex emerges. The block drops when this happens, so Foster quickly drops his own spell. Alex is unhelpful, except for mentioning that he felt eerie when using Logrus in Cedric's castle, so he doesn't want to use it to get Laughter. Ariana tells Keimo to put Reeshau's hat on, and then scrunches it down on his head. As expected, Reeshau returns, and he and Foster re-establish their spells.

The guard returns with Laughter's talking bones. Foster and Ariana are able to read Laughter's lips, and tell the others what she's saying. Foster decides not to translate the part where Laughter offers to sleep with the guard, if he'll let her escape. The guard refuses, so Laughter shows him how to cast the talking bones. When the guard creates a glamour of Driscoll, Ariana goes to warn him, but he's already in contact. Unfortunately, Driscoll remembers very little about his captors. The guard ends the contact, and tells Laughter that it doesn't look good. She asks if the fact that she's an outlander will help. He asks if this means she's not from the Disc. She won't say, but does admit that Driscoll is her future king. The guard decides to contact Driscoll again.

Ariana and Driscoll join the others and explain what happened. Ahab suggests that Ariana check out Driscoll's mind. She does, and finds magical blocks there. She isn't certain she can break them without damaging his mind. While she's in his mind, Driscoll is contacted by the guard again. Driscoll and Ariana explain about the magical blocks that she found. The guard believes their sorcerers can remove the blocks, and what Driscoll remembers could help Laughter. He thinks he can stall for a while, but they need to get to the city keep as soon as possible. Ahab, Ariana, Driscoll, Felix, Foster and Reeshau decide to go. Reeshau is persuaded to teleport them to the city gate, where he and Ahab remain, while the others hurry to the keep. Ahab promises to go on a killing spree if they're not back in a couple of days.

Laughter is brought to a cell, and given a band much like the one Driscoll had, only this one just keeps her from being violent. Then her arms are released, and she is given a white smock, since she didn't like the chain-metal bikini. After a while, she is told by the guard that he couldn't stall as long as he thought he could, and it's time to come with him. She argues that she needs to finish expressing her milk, since she is nursing and away from her baby. He allows this, and she milks it for all it's worth (bad pun intended) until Driscoll and the others arrive. They are all brought to an audience chamber.

Bart uses magic to contact Llewella, who's relieved to see that he's all right. It's been three days since they all left Amber, but much has changed. Oberon returned the day after they left, and he beat Gérard up, so everyone is inclined to believe that it's him. Random and Vialle are in Rebma. She'd rather he not talk to Oberon, so he gives her his update the group's progress, or lack thereof. After he ends the contact, Bart orders lots of water and shakes for a while.

Laughter's guard explains the situation to the Orion, a 15-year-old with curly blond hair. A wizard is sent for to remove the blocks in Driscoll's mind. While they are waiting for him, Orion asks all of them how they came to be there. Ariana explains that she was traveling with Driscoll and others, lost consciousness, and woke up elsewhere. She went to the market to find Driscoll. The others tell the same story. He asks why Laughter set the spell off after they'd left the city. Well, she didn't want to get caught. This doesn't help her case any. Foster, at Felix's suggestion, mentions that Laughter recently gave birth, and she hasn't really recovered. Naturally, he neglects to mention that she gave birth three months ago, and is just naturally dizzy. The wizard arrives, and the blocks in Driscoll's mind are removed. He is quizzed extensively about his captors, and gives the guards quite a bit of information that they seem to have been wanting for a while. Orion considers everything he's heard, and eventually decides that he must offer the Hasrhanians something. He asks Laughter which foot she prefers. Ariana asks if the healers have been able to repair the damage Laughter did to the Hasrhanians. No, it's rather extensive. Ariana offers to heal them, in exchange for lessening the sentence on Laughter. Orion leaves to discuss this with the Hasrhanians.

Bart magically contacts Ariana, and tells her all about Oberon's return. Her eyes widen. Orion returns at this point, and says that the Hasrhanians have agreed to only take one of Laughter's toes, in exchange for Ariana healing them. Ariana agrees to do this, and is led into another room. Bart opts to end the contact, since he really doesn't want to see this. Ariana heals all nine of the Hasrhanians, and finds that this tires her less than it normally would, although she still wants a nap rather badly. After she is finished, the Hasrhanians come in, and lop off Laughter's left little toe. The bleeding quickly stops, due to her shapeshifting abilities. She is given her belongings back, and is brought to retrieve Sequence, since none of the guards want to go near it. It is most happy to see her. Ariana asks Orion if anything can be done about Driscoll's missing items. He tells her to give their description and location to the guards, which she does. They promise to try to recover them. The group travels back to the gate and Reeshau teleports them back to Tallefellow's.

It's late afternoon by the time they return. Everyone is starving, since they haven't eaten all day, so everyone but Laughter and Looks Twice heads down to the dining area. Ariana's nausea abates somewhat once she gets some food in her. She updates Bart on what happened in Altair.

Laughter talks with Looks Twice about why slavery bothers her, then fetches him some chili. When she enters the dining area, she sees Ariel, and is rather confused. Some silly dialogue ensues between Laughter, Foster, Felix and Ahab regarding this.

Bart tells everyone about Oberon's reappearance, and offers to put them in touch with people in Amber. Felix, Laugher and Ariana are all interested. Ariana uses her ring to determine that Riftvan is currently in Chaos.

Felix is first in line, and asks to be put in contact with Gérard. Bart casts the spell, and Gérard answers, looking like a raccoon. He smiles when he sees Felix, and is relieved that he's all right. He explains that he played doubting Thomas, and paid for it. He tells Felix to let Ariana know that Vetch packed up the kids and left. Felix says they still haven't gotten the Jewel fragment. Gérard thinks Oberon will be showing up there soon, so it would be better if they found it before then. Felix tells him of Meander and Jackie, but Gérard figures he'll sit on that information for now. He tells Felix that Caine has resurfaced. Felix manages to avoid giving away the fact that he already knew that, and promises to pass that information along to Usires.

Laughter asks to speak with Fiona, which Bart arranges. Ahab asks her to ask what his status is. She tells Fiona that Discworld sucks, she got her toe chopped off, and she wants her child. Well, you see, Oberon has him. Er. Now Laughter really wants him. Fiona says she will bring the child to Laughter. Laughter asks what the status is of children of siblings in Amber right now. Well, Deirdre hasn't been seen in a while... As for Ahab, Fiona will have to think about that. Laughter expresses disappointment in Random, but Fiona says she doesn't realize how good things were with Random. Fiona figures that if she comes to Discworld, that should stop Oberon from doing so. Laughter figures she can always live in Chaos. Fiona says that's not her decision.

Ariana has Bart put her in contact with Riftvan, who is surprised to see her. She asks if he and the children are all right. Yes, they're in the Courts. She asks about Oberon's arrival. Apparently he showed up during dinner, spotted Riftvan, and attacked him, until Riftvan reminded Oberon of his marriage to Ariana. Apparently the children were convincing proof. Riftvan didn't hang around after that. Oberon claimed that he was observing things while he was "dead," and setting things up to his liking between Amber and the Courts. Apparently the civil war eliminated the houses he didn't like. Riftvan warns Ariana that Oberon may be showing up soon, since he is getting impatient about his missing bauble. Ariana asks if that will be bad. Well, Oberon is more powerful than all of them, and more ruthless than Riftvan is. He won't destroy the Shadow, though, since it's the source of all magic. She tells Riftvan how magic is much quicker and easier on the Disc. Riftvan isn't sure if Oberon will see Ariana as an Amberite or a Chaosite, so he suggests she avoid him if he arrives. Ariana figures she'll just leave the Disc if that happens, since Bart's found a way to do that. She hopes it's easier than the arrival, and explains what happened. Riftvan figures that was the fault of the driver. Ariana tells him of Alex's possession, and mentions that she tried reach him via the ring. He claims that they don't work in Vetchways, which is where he is. Not that this explains why it didn't work when he was in Amber. She asks how fast things are running in Chaos. He says that he slowed down one part of the Ways as much as he could, but it's still been two weeks. Ariana is not happy about this, and asks him to tell the children that she misses them. He says that they know, but he'll tell them anyway.

Laughter talks to Mandor, and tells him the whole, sorry tale of how she lost her toe. He asks if the wound healed, and figures it will regenerate. Laughter asks what Oberon's return does in terms of Emer's marriage to Driscoll. Mandor says that the marriage will still take place, since Oberon is honoring the treaties. Guess Driscoll doesn't get off the hook that easily. Laughter points out that Emer will no longer be marrying the Crown Prince. Mandor acknowledges this, but observes that Oberon has yet to name his heir.

Fiona arrives, carrying Haris, who is quickly retrieved by his parents. They leave, so that Laughter can take care of feeding him. Ariana asks Fiona what happened to Tamaryn, and is told that she is Oberon's "guest." Ariana fills her in on what's happened since they came to the Disc, and says she can't stay longer than another day, so someone else will have to take over leadership of the group at that point.

Quotables:

"I always assumed you were more adept than to walk into a deathtrap." -- Ona
"Well, I've always escaped them before." -- Reeshau

"I will avoid the all-over body beating, thank you." -- Hickory
"Embrace the joy of the full body spanking." -- Ahab

"A Shadow full of disposable people, and there still isn't any fun." -- Ahab to Bart

"You hear Alex screaming." -- GM
"And all is right with the world." -- Bart

"Oh great, he sings well. Can we move on to someone useful?" -- Ahab to the crowd around him at the slave auction, referring to Driscoll

"I say softly in Thari, well, loud enough to be heard..." -- Felix to GM

"We need to go someplace else. Someplace the others would think to look, of course." -- Ahab to Felix

"Fire in the hole." -- Sean to the group at large, after Laughter casts her "blow out your ass" spell

"We touch the tube with our toe." -- Laughter
"You go numb up to the knee." -- GM
"We don't do that again." -- Laughter

"I like to think of myself as incredibly pointless. It's a punishment from my parents." -- Laughter to a city guard

"(Laughter's) trying to be 'OK.'" -- Merrie to the group, about how Laughter is dealing with her imprisonment

"No man wants laughter in their bed." -- Laughter to a city guard

"I suppose outlawing slavery is out of the question?" -- Laughter
"Unless you can think of another way to make up for 50% of the city's income?" -- Orion
"Tourism?" -- Laughter

"Some husband I'm going to be, I can't even protect (Laughter)." -- Foster to Felix
"From herself?" -- Jason

"Do you think you could Logrus out for a small child?" -- Laughter to Alex

"I would bring up the point that my breasts are rather full, and I need the child." -- Laughter to Fiona

"Outrageous Fortune"
Game Logs for Sessions 1-115 | Character Logs for Sessions 116+

Last modified on February 8, 1999 by Kris Fazzari.