Game quotes from "Villainy!"

Cast of Characters

Chris Eads:The Corruptor (Issues 1-4)
Mark Everson:Dr. Science
Kris Fazzari:Polaris
Steve Piziks:Trickster
Erica Schippers:Liliana (Issues 1-19), Simone LeTrange/Sin Eater (Issues 21-27), Lung Feng Lei (Issues 28+)
John Schippers:GM
Roseanne ?:Dementia


Issue 1: "Origin" or "A Loose Confederation of Evil" (June 3, 2005)

"I must compliment you. That was evil." -- GM to Corrupter, after he manages to get a tax write off for the costs of constructing their secret base.

Issue 3: "From Russov with Love" (July 1, 2005)

"In interspace..." -- GM
"No one can here you scream." -- Kris

Issue 4: "The French Connection" (July 15, 2005)

"Can I think...." -- Corruptor to GM
"Well, sometimes." -- Kris

"Can I contact that feeling I had before?" -- Corruptor
"You mean unconsciousness?" -- GM
"Yes." -- Corruptor
"OK. You succeed in contacting unconsciousness. I'll let you know when you wake up." -- GM

"He calls you the next day and offers you a position." -- GM to Snake Charmer
"Supine." -- Mark

"Have I learned anything?" -- Corruptor, after killing their prisoner by increasing his adrenaline
"You've learned that much adrenaline is bad." -- GM

Issue 5: "Eye in the Sky" or "Nuke Me Gently" (August 5, 2005)

"Whatever you do, don't let the Corruptor fix you." -- Dr. Science to the Trickster

"The satellite isn't that big. How did it launch missiles?" -- Erica
"They're tiny missiles." -- GM
"It's not the size of the missiles, it's the size of the explosion that counts." -- Kris

Issue 7: "But Is It Art?" or "Goya My Dreams" (August 26, 2005)

"So you're staging a competition between two of your alter-egos?" -- Polaris
"Who technically don't exist, yes." -- Trickster
"So basically, you're playing with yourself." -- Dr. Science

"(Corruptor's) minions are basically middle-management with a low sense of morals." -- GM
"So basically, they're like middle-management everywhere." -- Polaris

Issue 8: "Come Visit Scenic Slodovia" (September 9, 2005)

"What does it matter, it's not your body." -- Polaris to Dr. Science
"I don't know, possession is nine-tenths of the law." -- GM

"I just want to point out that there's an outbreak of zombieism in Vatican City. It's local color." -- GM to the group

"So we're going to pretend we're trying to steal this technology in order to hide the fact that we're trying to steal this technology?" -- Polaris
"Yes." -- Liliana

Issue 9: "For Whom the Bell Tolls" (September 30, 2005)

"Oh, I speak Arabic. I forgot!" -- Trickster to the group

"So you have scorpions wandering around the restaurant that will give the people they sting short-term memory loss and syphilis?" -- Kris to Erica

"All scorpions carry syphilis." -- Kris to the group

"I have some more of the drug...without so much syphilis." -- Liliana
"Not even a skotch of the syphilis!" -- Dr. Science

"I back away from the body, since I don't want to get blood all over this outfit." -- Polaris to the group

"I attempt to control the disembodied entity." -- Dr. Science to GM

"Al-Ahsma starts to froth at the mouth and his eyeballs begin to bleed." -- GM
"That's what we expect when Corrupter attempts to heal someone." -- Polaris

"People don't usually attempt to possess demons." -- GM to Dr. Science

"He's a Grand Duke of Hell, he commands 45 legions of the damned." -- GM
"37 after budget cuts." -- Dr. Science

Issue 10: "Time in a Magnetic Bottle" (October 14, 2005)

"Oh're really, really, really smart." -- GM
"That's what I tell myself every day when I look in the mirror." -- Dr. Science

"I guess going after a super-computer in the computer realm was not a good idea, in retrospect." -- Dr. Science to the group, after the base is nearly destroyed by a computer virus

"Corrupter does not play well with others." -- Liliana
"Unless he's playing with their body parts." -- Polaris

Issue 11: "She Blinded Me with Dr. Science!" (October 21, 2005)

"What part of 80% of our plans successful, 0% of your plans successful do you not understand?" -- Dr. Science
"That's not right. At least 20% of mine have succeeded." -- Trickster

"It seems to me that going after (Constance Truart) would be more straightforward (than going after the Liberty Bell)." -- Dr. Science
"Since when have I been straightforward?" -- Trickster

"(Galaxy Girl) had a pink costume, shoulder pads and big hair." -- GM
"She should be killed for her crimes against fashion alone." -- Liliana

"See, this is how I get babes." -- Dr. Science to the group, after he possesses Galaxy Girl

"Can a blind man see the future?" -- Trickster to the just blinded Manifest Destiny

Issue 12: "Honk if You Love Polaris" (December 2, 2005)

"Is (Mento) fresh?" -- Steve
"Only with Dr. Positron." -- Erica

"So, did you impregnate your teacher with iron filings when you were sixth grade?" -- Dr. Science
"Ewwwww." -- Polaris
"I think 'impregnate' might be the word you're having trouble with." -- GM
"Oh. Try perforate." -- Dr. Science

"(The gun) is harmless. We wouldn't let (Prospero) keep anything that might be harmful." -- Mento, P.S. 238 Principal, to Liliana and Trickster
"Not that we know what it does...." -- Vicki Bronson, P.S. 238 Vice Principal
"It hasn't harmed anyone yet...." -- Mento

"So we take a giant brain..." -- Corrupter
"Darling, what it is with you and dismembering people?" -- Liliana

"I only agree with (the plan) if there is some brain cutting and pasting involved." -- Corrupter to the group

"(The psionic backup of Trickster) can be called Chipster." -- Polaris to the group
"I was going to say Trickster 2.0." -- GM

Issue 13: "Hurricane Liliana" (December 16, 2005)

"Just what sort of guarantee would you accept from a super-villain?" -- Dr. Science to Mycroft

"So (is Spectrum) going as Velocity's date?"' -- Kris
"Well, (Velocity) does have fast hands." -- Steve
"I gotta tell you, he's able to vibrate through solid objects." -- GM
"They do call him the fastest man alive." -- GM again, a few moments later

"The Shadow does not do brunches." -- GM to Spectrum

"(Does Spectrum) hit on (Ms. Miracle)?" -- Kris
"Sure, (he's) going to hit on a woman with armor and a sword taller than (he is)." -- Steve

"Oh, just sleep with (Ion) and get it out of your system." -- Polaris to Trickster

Issue 14: "Trojan Lawyer" (January 27, 2006)

"Dodging is good." -- GM to Liliana, after she opts to avoid the incoming rail-gun fire

"Can I crap nuclear death all over them?" -- Liliana to GM, facing CADRE fighters

"Ooops. Oh shit." -- Corrupter over the radio
"You hear the sound of feet running." -- GM
"Oh, that can't be good." -- Liliana

"If I try (making an earthquake) again, I'll get it right." -- Corrupter
"Try again where?" -- Liliana
"Someplace we don't like." -- Polaris

"I can fix (your radiation sickness). Everything has a radioactive half-life." -- Corrupter to Dr. Science
"Corrupter, I have one word for you. 'Ooops.'" -- Polaris

"So (Electrocutioner) has got a huge mystical ax to grind?" -- Dr. Science to the group

Issue 15: "It's All in Your Head" (February 3, 2006)

"Hey, I don't eat souls, I kill people. There's a difference." -- Polaris to the group

"(Dr. Severus is a) nut-job, but with power." -- Polaris
"Just our kind of person, but he's terminally annoying." -- Dr. Science

"So, I will devote a substantial part of my intellect to not fucking up." -- Dr. Science to GM

"That's the only kind of going down I want to do in (Dr. Severus') room, thank you very much." -- Dr. Science to the group

"I'm not making any comments about Wang and the brass head." -- Kris to the group

Issue 16: "Heil Kama Sutra" (February 17, 2006)

"Don't you have a third cousin once-removed that has a chalet (in Tibet)?" -- Trickster to Liliana
"There are no chalets in Tibet." -- Polaris

"If you learn three slavic languages, the fourth one's free." -- Trickster

"You can't spit without hitting a monastery in Tibet. You can't throw a yak...." -- Dr. Science to the group

"(Corrupter) can heal himself just fine. It's that weird shit like making (other people's) adrenaline glands work while they're dead (that he has trouble with)." -- GM to the group

"Some of us have a life." -- Trickster
"You apparently have two of them." -- Polaris

Issue 17: "Severed Dreams" (March 3, 2006)

"Please don't piss off the super-sentient precognitive AI." -- Polaris to Trickster

"The key's possibilities make so many possibilities possible..." -- Trickster to the group

"Enter the hot chick." -- Mark to the group, after the smoking demoness arrives

"I'm not evil. I'm very nice." -- Corrupter to Polaris
"Every time he says that, my balls crawl up inside my body." -- Trickster

"Pardon us for not being terribly trusting." -- Liliana
"Well, I don't like you either." -- Dementia

"Either we're killing Dr. Severus tonight, or I'm killing Trickster. One or the other will happen." -- Polaris to the group

"(Liliana) calls a halt at (breasts large enough to be) arresting, but not so big as to be inhuman." -- Erica
"We're comic book characters. Where exactly does that line lie?" -- Kris

"I'm willing to work with you here." -- Corrupter
"There go my balls again." -- Trickster

"I don't like fighting those magic types." -- Dr. Science
"I thought you didn't believe in magic, Doc." -- Trickster
"Right. I don't like fighting things I can't understand." -- Dr. Science

"You can trust us as much as you trust any other super-villain." -- Dr. Science to Dementia

"I want to make Arsenal a wholly-owned subsidiary of Evil Co." -- Dr. Science to GM

"I've got (Ms. Miracle's) sword so she can't stab me." -- Dementia
"Well it's in you, so I guess you have it." -- GM

Issue 18: "Losing Time" (March 17, 2006)

"Why did you run into giant fish?" -- Polaris
"I was fighting the Atlantean. He has many giant fish!" -- Corrupter

"(Having a building fall on him) ought to slow (the Shadow) down for a couple of hours." -- Kris
"Or at least give him a sore back." -- Erica
"I know what evil lurks in the hearts of men, but buildings still fall on me." -- GM

"I need five minutes. The GM has written himself into a corner." -- GM to the group

Issue 19: "Out of Time" (April 7, 2006)

"The middle management with guns vs. the Justice Legion (fight) does not take very long." -- GM to the group

"I'll give you her soul for it." -- Trickster to Dementia
"Hello! I'm still using it." -- Liliana

"Not all of Jersey is an industrial wasteland." -- Kris
"This place is." -- GM

"It's actually a very refreshing feeling when you kill your father, I've found." -- Polaris to Trickster

"I'm starting to hate time travel as much as the GM does." -- Erica to the group

"Inbreeding is a fine European tradition." -- Kris to the group, after Liliana meets her own great-grandfather

"Cliff Archer, Time Corp." -- Cliff Archer
"Trickster, slightly confused." -- Trickster

"Do I recognize that annoying whistle?" -- Polaris to GM, after Trickster whistles to get her attention
"Well, it is annoying." -- GM

"Where did you wind up?" -- Polaris
"1970's New Jersey." -- Trickster
"That's worse than WWII France." -- Polaris

*cough* *cough* *cough* -- Dr. Severus
"Here, have another cigarette." -- Dr. Science
"Oh, thanks!" -- Dr. Severus

"You trusted yourself?" -- Dementia to Trickster
"What were you thinking?" -- Polaris

"This is not the dodging kind of demon." -- GM to the group

"And it slams (Corrupter) down, a broken, twisted thing." -- GM to the group
"So how is this different from the way Corrupter normally is?" -- Steve

"Need a chiropractor?" -- Dementia to Corrupter, after he reanimates his broken body

Issue 20: "Picking Up the Pieces" (May 12, 2006)

"(Polaris) tortures soldiers, I kill my father, (Dr. Science)...makes investments." -- Trickster to the group, regarding what everyone did in the past.

"I'm Mr. Left." -- Mr. Left
"Was the other guy Mr. Right?" -- Polaris
"Yes." -- Mr. Left
"You mean I've been waiting for Mr. Right all these years and I let him get away?" -- Trickster

"Magic is surprisingly disgusting." -- Polaris to the group, after Blackie wards them from magic by spitting in their hands

Issue 21: "Amish Paradise" (June 9, 2006)

"Loose magical women are the best." -- Erica to the group

"We're polite wack-jobs." -- Dr. Science
"Speak for yourself!" -- Polaris

"I finally get to Paris and I fight monsters all day." -- Trickster
"Such is the life of a super-hero." -- Polaris

"Well, well, well, an Amish super-hero? Who'd have thought?" -- Trickster to the group

"Where did (Patriot's) beard come from?" -- Trickster
"It's a special beard made of unstable molecules." -- GM

"This woman held together a fusion reactor with her mind. I'm always nice to women who can do that." -- Corrupter to Trickster, about Polaris

"You are sometimes dumber than you look." -- Corrupter
"It's all an illusion." -- Trickster
"He's always dumber than he looks." -- Dr. Science

"Yeah, the Unterblich armies can be devestating." -- GM
"Just pronouncing them can be devestating." -- Dr. Science

"What about gas?" -- Trickster asking about the Shadow's weaknesses
"He has a problem with jalapeños." -- GM

"So I came up with a really good trap for you." -- GM to Trickster
"You got hit by a bug-zapper!" -- Kris

Issue 23: "One Night at McClarney's" (July 14, 2006)

"Practice safe science." -- Dr. Science to the group

"These are the people who own me." -- Edmund Pimm
"I assume we're not talking about the BDSM kind of own?" -- Trickster

"$500,000 for the meeting." -- Trickster
"Well, since they are going to kill me if you say no, I guess I'll pay you." -- Edmund Pimm

"You know, I've never practiced cannibalism." -- Corrupter
"Is that because you've perfected it?" -- Trickster

"You want to be an old Nazi robot brain?!?" -- Corrupter to Dr. Science

"You'd use Nazis to further our plans?" -- Corrupter
"Yes." -- Dr. Science
"I love you." -- Corrupter

"So, I've got to help you guys, or help Nazis. I'll help you guys." -- Spectrum to the group

"Is this the end of Dr. Science?" -- Steve, after Dr. Science sets off a massive explosion
"Clearly not. But it's embarrassing." -- Mark

"That was me being stupid." -- GM
"Feel free to be stupid again. We like it." -- Mark

Issue 24: "Who Let the Gods Out?" (July 21, 2006)

"50 points of psychic armor does not protect against the cutting nature of sarcasm." -- Dr. Science
"Nothing protects against the cutting nature of sarcasm." -- GM
"It helps a little against irony." -- Dr. Science

"I'd prefer for (the stun bomb) to be silent." -- Dr. Science
"That's the way you are." -- GM
"Silent but deadly." -- Erica

"Don't piss off Odin! Christ!" -- Simone to the group
"You invoked two different religions in one sentence." -- Trickster

"Don't tell me that the Dark Roads lead to a lederhosen festival." -- Simone to GM

"You're going to use your boon from Odin to get your woody back?" -- Polaris to Trickster

"I solve the differential equation for god and power so I get the half-life of Loki." -- Dr. Science to the group

"I'm not going to destroy the universe. Where would I keep my stuff?" -- Polaris to the group

Issue 26: "Sing a Gesang" (December 8, 2006)

"Just once I'd like to go a week without seeing dog intestines." -- Dr. Science to Corrupter

"Everywhere I go turns into a red light district." -- Dr. Science to the group, after the alarms/red lights go off

"If we're traveling a giant teacup, I think (the Atlanteans) know there's something wrong with us." -- Dementia
"A giant invisible teacup." -- Trickster

"Sorry guys, if you hadn't messed with our plan, we wouldn't have had to destroy your civilization." -- Dr. Science to the Atlanteans

"The Shadow you never saw, but he's not laughing." -- GM to the group, describing the results of the stun grenade

"What's the point of having the Gasang of Destruction if I don't get to destroy an underwater city?" -- Polaris
"We'll let you destroy another city later." -- Trickster

Issue 27: "28 Days Later" (March 30, 2007)

"(The Shadow) is a shadow of his former self." -- Mark to the group

"I don't want to destroy the world, I just want to ruthlessly dominate it." -- Polaris to the group

"We're all smarter than the average bear." -- Trickster
"I'm smarter than the average bear. You it could take two falls out of three." -- Dr. Science

"You summon the water spirit Abzu." -- GM to Simone
"Because he was near the beginning of the elemental phone book." -- Mark

"You're running analysis on (the red jewel)?" -- Polaris
"Of course I am. It's what I do. It's my schtick." -- Dr. Science

"I'm not cheating, I'm carefully manipulating." -- GM to the group

"I teleport Corrupter into Dementia." -- Banshee to GM
"Now there's an unholy union." -- Erica

Issue 28: "Whack a Moleman" (July 13, 2007)

"Moleiathin is not a precision instrument of dexterity." -- GM to Dr. Science

"I wasn't particularly worried about (the dragon) breathing fire, since I can become intangible." -- Trickster to the group
"It still would have hit you." -- GM

"This world is not as good as we thought." -- Trickster, after learning that America is a fascist state.
"We made it. Are you surprised?" -- Polaris

"No one will suspect it. A hero who has a secret identity as a villain." -- Trickster to the group

Issue 29: "Space Invaders" (August 3, 2007)

"Tricketer's always willing to stand on a point of law, when someone else has broken it." -- Steve to the group

"That's alright, (Corrupter's) been dead before, for tax purposes." -- Mark to the group

"There's this zombie thing shuffling along the hallway with half of its brains hanging out." -- GM
"So Corrupter is OK." -- Mark

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