Do you have a question for me? If so, I'd sure like to hear it.
I don't care what you ask me, it can be about me or you, your mom, or your dead cat you ran over with your car (slick move).
You know "Adam and Dr. Drew"?, well they are too busy to answer your questions, so just send them to me.
I'm not going to answer them, or even read them....but sometimes it's just good to write these things out.....you know, to improve your handwriting.....what?.... you're using a computer?...oh, nevermind.
Send feedback to randomspace@umich.edu
If you don't send feedback, have a look at what you could be missing:
Reply:
[ MY RESPONSE COULD GO HERE ]
11/09/06
It has been awhile...
Reply:
You haven't lived until you've run over a cat.
Your cats would have loved
all the birds we recently saw at Starved Rock, except it may have been
like torture seeing them all high above and out of reach, like a floating jar
of cookies, that shits without discretion. This is the kind of thing that could
provide your cats with the motivation they need to quit laying around
the house all day and start putting some effort into building a personal
rocketpack. You know what, that is probably a really dumb idea, they would
probably design it to run on fossil fuels, furthering global warming. Moot
point anyway, I'm sure your cats are content to lay around for a few
million years in hopes that evolution will sprout them wings (stupid cats
actually believe in evolution!!!).
It's nice that you think my site is one of the most entertaining you've seen,
however, not knowing what other sites you think are entertaining, I can't
really take that as a compliment. Maybe your favorite site is
www.MonkeysWithSillyHats.com, which would be awesome. On the other
hand, your favorite site could be something stupid like
www.MonkeysWithNormalHats.com.
I'm impressed with your use of parenthesis. Have you thought of a career in
mathematics, or do you have social skills?
Thanks for the email, it's stuff like this that makes it all worthwhile, people
who visit my site because they have absolutely nothing else to do. I wouldn't
be here either if I had a life.
5/04/01
now i know what president bush meant when he referred to the "dark dungeons of
the Internet" and when he said "It's a culture that somewhere along the line we
begun to disrespect life, where a child can walk in and have their heart turn
dark as a result of being on the Internet and walk in and decide to take
somebody else's life."...or wait, no i dont...
Reply:
having never been to hell myself, i could not
comment on its likeness, or lack thereof, to my supposed site, which i have
also never visited (what, do you think im a loser or something?)...all i know
is that i strive to make my site as gay as possible (while still remaining
within the bounds of good taste)...but i dont think i talk about my problems on
here a lot...i dont talk about my problems at all...now, some people would say
that this fosters aggression but they are just stupid idiots who i can not even
think of the words to describe because i am about ready to explode...i swear,
the next time someone tells me to strap a time bomb to my chest i am saying
"no"...i dont know how to stop this thing...but take for instance my problem
about not talking about my problems, i have talked about that problem many
times and it hasnt helped at all...anyways, i feel like my problems are already
well documented enough in most introductory psychology books...the one im
thinking of specifically is "lars is from mars and the rest of you are
from venus"...which, incidentally, is not a book at all (although hopefully a tv
movie one day!) and i think that only further confirms that i have no idea what
you are talking about...or am i merely creating a distraction to avoid
addressing your astute observations?...and what did i just do there, maybe i
pointed out a distraction that wasn't really a distraction, just to distract
you...and what's that over there?...it seems as though we are conducting this
conversation amid a bevy of distractions, or that is what i would have you
believe...but is it even a conversation?...could i have a conversation with you
when you insist on being so insolent, try a little diplomacy...for instance,
instead of saying "YOUR SITE US GAY AS HELL", you could say "hey, nice
shirt...but oh my god your site is so gay IT IS HORRIBLE IT HURTS MY EYES AND
MY BRAIN WHICH I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD GOD IT SUCKS SO BAD...but your shirt is
ok"...and instead of "KNOW ONE WANTS TO HERE ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS", try "hey,
friend, talk away, im listening...to something else, so what do i care...about
the rainforest, i mean does it really affect me...that youre talking about your
problems...and ignoring the rainforest"...speaking of diplomacy, i caught the
end of "survivor" tonight where they were voting on which of the final two
would get the million...so they are asked what they would do with the million
dollars and colby says he'd buy a harley davidson...havent we learned anything
from watching beauty contests?...you want world peace!...had he said he would
use the money for world peace he would have won...tina said she was going to
create some fund where the yearly accrued interest would go to help some
family...thats great but we're currently in a recession so most likely a family
is gonna have to pay for the negative interest each year, the woman is still
strategizing her strategery...but getting back to the feedback, thanks, even
though it could be construed as being negative (although i have figured out an
alternate positive interpretation, it involves converting from one language to
another and then back to english, its very complex, you dont want to get into
it), im not like henry the 8th who needed to be surrounded by people who told
him how great he was even when he wasnt and who executed anyone who said
otherwise...although if i could execute you, i would...just joking, about the
tv movie thing...oh, and dont take the execution thing personally, id execute
anyone, childhood dream...
5/26/00
i dont even know what to say here...
Reply:
the wall street journal?...oh my god this is a
dream come true!...i have always dreamed about working for the wall street
journal...i hear you give your janitors very good benefits and i bet i could
work during the day since you guys mostly work at night...but seriously people,
i would NEVER clean toilets as a job...i do that strictly for recreation...my
only question is why did it take heinz so long to realize that glass bottles
suck for ketchup?..remember the first time you used a glass ketchup bottle?...i
dont, but im guessing it went something like this: you unscrewed the cap and
tilted the bottle expecting the ketchup to come gushing out onto your
plate...but it didnt...it refused to come out of that bottle like a child
gripping the door of a school because they dont want to go home...wait a
minute, that never happens...hey, perhaps if we taught school inside ketchup
bottles the ketchup would be more apt to leave when you try to pour it
out...ive seen ships inside bottles, im sure we could get a school into
one...might have to grind it up into pieces first, but hey, then we could make
one of those neat sand design things with it!...and sand pours fine out of a
bottle, we could just eat sand on our fries!...and then when these arid
countries complain that their inhabitants are starving to death we could just
say what are you talking about?, youre living right near a desert full of
ketchup...eat it...its easy to come up with solutions to things when you just
start thinking about it and let your mind go...you know, ive actually seen some
restaurants that use the plastic squeeze bottle but the squeeze bottles are
ketchup colored instead of being clear...so, you end up thinking you have a
full bottle of ketchup until your food comes and you pick up the bottle and
realize its empty, then you have to wait for your waiter (sounds backwards
doesnt it?) to come back so you can get a new bottle...i think they need to add
a clear stripe on the side of the bottle like oil quarts have so you can see
how much youve poured out...if heinz starts using squeeze bottles they will no
longer be able to brag about how long it takes for their ketchup to pour...but
the slow pouring rate was never indicative of a quality product, it was just
poor container design...jello doesnt pour well out of a bottle either, do you
want to put that on your fries?...what if it was ketchup flavored jello?...what
if bill cosby said it tasted good?...ah, now you want to try it dont
you...well...do they have apple flavored jello?...because apples and tomatoes
look similar so they should taste about the same...for those of you who are a
little slow, ketchup is made from tomatoes...and apples are...wait a minute
what the hell was i talking about...i mean back when i was talking about
teaching school inside ketchup bottles, what the hell was i talking
about?...anyways, when youre the first person who has to use the full glass
ketchup bottle its like "hey, we've got a full bottle of ketchup here, someone
is gonna have to sacrifice their knife to get this baby flowing..john, once i
get the ketchup flowing i want you to quickly pass it to dave, he's got some
fries there...and john, KEEP THE BOTTLE TILTED WHILE YOU PASS IT...if you set
the bottle back upright we're gonna have to sacrifice another knife...we're
gonna need to work as a team here people...now, before i start, does anyone
need to get up and go to the bathroom?..."...the reason i didnt use female
names in that example is not because im sexist, i think we all know that girls
just dont like ketchup...not when you rub it in their eyes anyways...at least
that has been my experience...well...uh...whatever...
3/30/00
this guy seems to think he knows me...i have no idea who he is...
Reply:
yes it has been 8yrs, yet not once have you
remembered our anniversary...um..this is the guy that only calls me when he
needs help moving or a ride to the airport...he may sound nice, but thats cos i
cut off the bottom of his message where he said "Hey, now loan me $1000,
fuckhead"....hes out in L.A. now trying to become the 6th backstreet boy or
something...im just joking...hes a cool guy, and we had fun moving his
shit...like the first time we moved his stuff i rode in the back of the truck
and the dumbass runs over a curb right as hes pulling out of his driveway and
all his shit just goes flying all over the place because we had no clue about
how to pack things, and like a good friend, i did nothing to try and save his
crap, i just laughed my ass off...and one thing i did not think about is how it
would be PITCH BLACK in the back of the truck since there are no windows and
how jeff, yeah thats his name, drives like a maniac...actually, he kinda drives
like my grandma, i was just trying to make the story better...just joking jeff,
you know i love you, and if you were a girl id marry you...well, he does kind
of look like a girl...and throw like one...hmm...once again, im joking...i
would never marry him...but seriously people, jeff is one of the coolest people
ive met, and i dont mean cool like he was quarterback of the football team and
did all the cheerleaders, i mean hes down to earth cool...hes not full of
bullshit like 99% of the rest of the people i meet...i mean he is, but he
admits it...well he doesnt admit it, but its just so easy to see...i actually
met him because our last names are near each other in the alphabet so we had
lockers next to each other in high school...we never really hung out then, but
for some reason we kept in contact while in college and later on we started
getting together every so often and talking about shit...life shit...hed be
like "life sucks" and id be like "yeah..." (conversation dies)...jeffs a guy
who's not afraid to admit his own flaws and its nice to be around someone like
that cos you dont feel like you have to put on some act about how you are a
great individual even tho you know you suck inside...and you know we all suck
inside...but anyways...this is like the longest feedback ever...yeah so he
sends me an email kissing my ass and i reply by ripping on him...thats how you
know we're good friends...either that or im just an ass...
3/26/00
feedback from someone who needs to have her mouth washed out with soap...
Reply:
you know, in america i think all you have to do to be a slut is admit you like
sex...if you want a challenge, try being a slut in australia or
something...they are like rabbits down there...just joking, ive never been
there, i dont know...i dont really know about the mating habits of rabbits
either...ive just heard...but they are cute so, you know, thats fine if they
reproduce a lot...but those
nasty ass centipedes that
i occasionally find in my room, well, i would not approve of slutty behavior by
them...
Reply:
splendid?...please, you are embarassing me...it embarasses me that someone who
says "splendid" visits my site...just joking, its all jolly good to me...as far
as what you should do, try going outside and facing the real world...you cant
hide behind your computer screen forever...unless you are really
small...chances are tho, that you weigh 300lbs cos you never move your ass from
that seat in front of your computer...the internet is for people who cant
handle the real world, anyone who "hangs out" on the internet or has a webpage
or something is a total loser...you probably even date people from the internet
dont you?...how pathetic...you should be meeting drunk people at bars who only
want to have sex with you, like the rest of popular culture, not meeting people
on the internet by writing to them...now please excuse me, i need to get back
to my chat room...
Reply:
happy?...no, extemely depressed...because there are people in this world who
actually talk like that...it is hard knowing there is something that great out
there but you just cant have it...
9/05/99
this one is from Paul Steed, the 3D modeler at
id software (makers of Doom, Quake, Quake II,
Quake III: Arena, etc...basically the most kickass computer game maker
there is and ever was)....just about fell out of my chair when i saw it was
from him...
Reply:
one thing i pride myself on here at randomSPACE
is treating everyone equally whether they are a celebrity or not...now if paul
werent a celebrity (in the computer gaming world) i might reply to his email
like:
what the fuck?...all you have time for is to write a little one
sentence email about my site?...couldnt you go into detail about how much you
laughed after reading the "whatever" page, and how my artwork inspired all of
the 3D models you made for QuakeIII:Arena...huh?...you just liked looking at
the picture of rachel?...oh...
and if paul were a celeb like he kinda is, i would just reply with
something almost identical to that:
please please please get me a job at id software...and if you cant get
me that then how about a free copy of QuakeIII: Arena?...free bumper
sticker?...come on...autograph from John Carmack?....he can even just type it
out if you cant get him to write one in pen...i copied this autograph from him
out of one of his emails:
John Carmack
but i would still like an original...
in case youre
interested, here's one of the models paul made:
(i think Kennith Scott made the skin, and thanks to
BluesNews
for the shot)
5/21/99
there is life out there...
Reply:
what do you like most, my lack of punctuation
or the way everything i say is pointless?...your thoughts seem very
disconnected...did you find it hard to write that email?...sometimes it is
hard...your mother made you eat broccolli when you were a kid didnt she? and
you didnt like it did you?...no...tell me tho, how do you like broccolli
now?...its your favorite vegetable isnt it?...yes, i think it is...and when you
were nine years old you fell off your bike and scratched your knee, didnt
you?...ever since then you have hated your parents and been afraid to try new
things...new things can be scary...when you were 11 or 12 years old you peed on
the toilet seat at school and when the teacher asked who did it you denied it
didnt you?...you were embarrassed...its understandable...tell me, am i hitting
close to home here?...do you find these things too painful to think
about?...dont worry, we all have blemishes in our past which make us what we
are today...things that we would like to forget, and yet if these things never
happened to us we would probably not be who we are now...we would be someone
else...someone who has never peed on a toilet seat...someone who has never been
embarrassed...someone who has never been hurt...someone who has never felt
anger...someone who has never made the wrong choice or said the wrong
thing...and what is left?...you see, no one needs practice dealing with the
good things in their life...what matters is how you deal with the bad
things...because you know there will be bad things...
1/03/99
im just impressed i got the date right...more from my cousin...
Reply:
yes, you do have very good reading
comprehension, but you better improve your grammar or im gonna sick rachel on
you... if i found an illustrator?...i am an illustrator dammit...i have already
illustrated that story, just not on the computer... perhaps i should do some
illustrations on my computer...thatd be cool...but the last line stays...
6/27/98
i had to edit this cos it was just too long, sorry...
Reply:
organization? focus?...maybe you didnt notice
the name of the site, its called "RANDOMspace"...is random the kind of word i
would use to describe my site if it were focused and organized?....maybe you
are just referring to its informalness (see how informal it is? informalness
isnt even a word, yet i still use it), things dont always flow (that didnt
flow)...i agree, its random...my goal is to just confuse people...if i ever
make a site that is organized and formal, ill call it analSPACE..that could
give some people the wrong idea tho...but seriously, i have broken the site up
into 6 well marked categories, and then there are sub categories for each of
those, that is the epitome of organization...but anyways, i am not trying to
bring my site up to any level, i am trying to keep it at the same level, my
level...i am actually not intense at all, i am very unintense...i have very few
strong opinions, i just exaggerate everything when i write...why? i dont know,
maybe to make it more interesting...so im not intense, but i am curious...email
you my comment?...what if i have more than one?...i had a chinese professor
last semester who said that there is no such thing as a plural word in chinese,
so comment=comments...thanks for calling me talented, im not sure what you
think im talented at, but hopefully something good...thanks for visiting here a
number of times, and sorry if i sounded harsh in the beginning of this reply,
you didnt offend me by saying the site should be more organized, im not upset,
i am not intense, i am exaggerating...
6/06/98
Two days in a row!...
Reply:
well thanks...oh, wait a second...you looked at
my html source?...thats like lifting up some girls skirt to see her underwear,
i know you want to do it, but its rude...its better if you just drop something
near her and then look up when you are picking the thing up...did you see that
movie "Splash"?, you might want to watch the beginning because it shows how to
look up a girls skirt by dropping quarters near the girl...but anyways, i think
that is really sick of you to want to be looking up a girls skirt...have some
respect...but i was just kidding you about looking at my html source, i
encourage it, i learned most of what i know by looking at other peoples
source...i learned how to change background colors onmouseover for the "lights"
by looking at
this
sites source html...but, you don't have to go there if you don't want,
because i have just created a new page called "html", for you and anyone else,
where i will explain how i did the stuff on my site...check it out
here...and let me know if you still have questions...
6/05/98
I didnt know they had computers in egypt...
Reply:
i think people have complimented that pic my
little bro did more than anything i have ever done on this site...if i had
known this was going to happen, i never would have posted it...i think you will
like it here in Ann Arbor if you decide to go to school at UofM, although i
really have no idea what things are like in Egypt, when i think Egypt i think
pyramids...the UofM social work building has a nice glass pyramid in its
courtyard so that should make you feel at home...be prepared to work your butt
off at UofM tho, if you are looking for something a little easier, you could go
to MSU where your grandma is...actually, i think you could probably go to MSU
right now at 14 and be at the top of your class even if you never
studied....but you don't want to go to MSU, besides being inferior acedemically
to UofM, they also always lose to UofM in sports...sure, i will help you with
your web page, but you didnt give me the address...and you arent wasting my
time, i
like getting email...but try to compliment me a little more
ok?...no need to compliment my little bro, he is too young to understand
it...im joking, thanks...
visit his site here:
http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Pointe/5836/
5/29/98
It's been awhile, lets see if i can remember how to do this...
Reply:
sketches?...what sketches?...there are no
sketches on this site, how dare you refer to my drawings as "sketches"...i
spent weeks drawing those, sketches can be made in 5 minutes...no, im
kidding...thanks for your compliments, and thanks for taking the time to email
me, it has been awhile since anyone has done something that kind for me...i
made the spiral graphic myself with
Paint
Shop Pro...i will have to send you an email with more details cos im
not sure if anyone else would want to hear about it...oh, no one else comes to
this page?...what are you trying to say?...im actually not all that concerned
with people coming here, i just like to create and design things...if i can
touch just one childs life, well, then it will all be worth it...you dont have
to thank me for going to your site, it was my pleasure...
visit his site here:
http://home.sprynet.com/sprynet/mparnell/
3/23/98
Feedback from the Vegetable...
Reply:
after getting a ticket today, its nice to hear
a few positve things...Yeah, it's on the talky side, but what else can I
do?...its just a homepage....more pictures of Rachel?...that would be up to
her...but if you just want to look at nice looking women, buy a playboy....and
what do you mean the Kurt Vonnegut speech is a hoax?....if he didnt write it,
who did?...find out
here
3/11/98
It's comments like these that make it all seem worth while...
Reply:
bathroom wall, are you serious?...i had no idea
my homepage would ever reach such heights...im sorry, but i like the black
background, i think light colors tend to look "cheap"....whatever i mean by
that...orange? are you crazy?...when you get your URL on a bathroom wall ill
start taking advice from you...this might just be a coincidence, but i
vacationed at UC Berkeley over spring break last week...im kidding, i was in
michigan the whole time, working on this damn homepage....snowing in Ann
Arbor?...not really, we dont get much snow anymore...but it is pretty
cold...thanks for your comment
3/04/98
Since I have nothing else to post, more from the Crystal P...
Reply:
no, thank YOU....compliment me again and I'm
going to marry you...but first, i noticed you copied one of my graphics to your
site, that is illegal and i will prosecute you accordingly...just kidding... i
won't prosecute you...my lawyers will...(jk)
3/02/98
Another boring compliment...i think...
Reply:
thanks...no, it is not tough at all...this HTML
stuff...i'll tell mike you like his picture...not only is he better as a
graphic artist, but he just kicked my ass in hockey too...ok, i think the block
qoutes look good when you are running a real high resolution, but i am way back
at 800x600 and space is valuable so i dont like the indentation...and guess
what? there already are two mailto tags, both are on the "FeedBack" page...one
is at the bottom, the other is linked to the header image, ill label it as such
i guess...Rachel was right...thanks for the input...
Goto
his page
3/01/98
Someone must have accidentally sent me this, but, I'll take it...and run...
Reply:
thank you, thank you...there are just a few
people I'd like to thank...my spell checker, Rachel Mathison...my graphics
designer, Lars Jensen....my writer, Lars Jensen...my layout specialist, Lars
Jensen...and none of us could do any of this without the fans, so I'd like to
thank my fan, Lars Jensen...Seriously people, I'd like to take this time, if I
could, to talk about the serious turmoil going on in China right now...no, not
really...thanks for the award, it was nice, even if you didnt include the .gif
like you said you would...and what do you mean I have a dry sense of
humor?...is that a compliment?...dry skin is bad, dry mouth is bad, dry soil is
bad(for farmers), but dry humor is good?...
2/27/98
Ladies and gentlemen, i give you, my first feedback comment, its nothing
exciting, but it is the first documented evidence that someone besides me has
visted this site:
Reply:
well, thank you...i dont know what a
<blockquote> is but i'll find out...the guy who wrote that has a site at
http://pittstop.com/billpitt/ ...its supposed to be for helping people with
designing web pages...id go check it out myself, but i think my page is already
too damn good...see people, you send feedback and i give you a free
plug...thats just the kind of guy i am...ok, i just skimmed the pittstop page,
worth checking out....i see what a blockqoute is now cos i forgot to escape
them at first, and i think you might be right...2/28/98 this page now
officially uses <blockquote>'s
2/22/98
I haven't really gotten any feedback yet...either you guys are a bit shy, or no
one visits this page...now if i had any money i'd bet it on the second
one...but just in case its the first, let me break the ice by asking the first
question...
Reply:
Thats a tough call...on the one hand, if you
just get up and go they might start thinking you dont like them or that you
left your wallet in the car or something crazy like that, but on the other
hand, is it really necessary to tell them you are going to the bathroom? do
they want to know this?...answer is, they probably do...so I advise you that
you not only tell them you are going to the bathroom, but tell them specific
details of what you plan to do in there also...god damn i am so sick of
this...sarcasm