Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Fun with Needles

Here's the scenario: I come home after an EXHAUSTING day, in which I took the final portion of my controls PhD qualifying exam. I was so relieved it was over, and looked forward to a quiet relaxing night at home. After I walk through the door and hang my jacket up, Jovauna says: "Scott, I need to practice taking blood. Give me your arm."

WHAT THE F!? Practice taking blood!? Why me!? For those that don't know, Jovauna works as a medical assistant, so it might not seem that bad. But what most people don't know is that Jovauna is the CLUMSIEST person I have ever known. Clumsy + needles = get me out of here!

Being the good boyfriend that I am, I capitulate. Without exaggeration, I'm literally giving up my blood, sweat, and tears. So she straps my arm down, pulls out a 3 inch needle, and jabs it into my arm. Then she pulls the syringe and nothing comes out.

J: "Aw, that's interesting."

S: [Look of panic, while sweating profusely and holding back tears]
"What the hell does that mean!?"

Then she pulls back a little bit and pulls the syringe again. Blood rushes into the vile.

J: "I just learned what it feels like when I go too far! Yay! Now give me your other arm."

S: [Shreaking in panic] "No way!"

[Side Note: I writing this as I hide underneath my bed. Someone call Jovauna to distract her, because she's searching for me, needle in hand...and NO, I didn't get a sugar cookie!]


  • Hey Scott!

    You went way beyond the call of duty. I laughed so hard that I had to go get Judy to read your entry.

    Suggest that Jovauna try the "distraction technique" next time: Grasp syringe and keep it out of sight, yell emphatically, "look at the Bear" while pointing out the window, then strike using her good eye for aiming purposes. Practice makes perfect

    Go Bears!

    By Blogger leobear, At February 6, 2008 3:22 AM  

  • That’s just crazy!

    By Blogger Mitesh Patel, At June 3, 2008 3:25 AM  

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