If I Had a Porch... spoon
A Spoon-testing plant, mid-day. The tension is so thick, you could read a newspaper with it. Clyde the headtester is seated at table #1. In front of him (on the table) is a plate of linguine, a bowl of split-pea, and Acme Utensil's latest invention: the whiffle spoon.
Made of durable lightweight plastic, the whiffle spoon sports four pea-sized holes, in the bowl. It is touted as the ultimate calorie saver.
Clyde lifts the spoon, elegantly, slowly, respecting its awesome power. Ploosh. It dips into the soup. Shloop. It rebounds toward Clyde's mouth. Four peas plug the holes. Clyde gets a spoonful of soup. What catastrophe.
This thing was sponsored by The Glass Council
Buy glass.
Glass - it's clear, it's hard, and it keeps even small things out. But more importantly, it's breakable. No other substance can claim that. If you want to see it, but don't want to touch it without breaking something in front of it first, cover it with glass. Glass: nature's clear, hard but fragile, has-to-be-made-by-man thing.