Name: Andrew Min

Gender: Male

Suspected method of total destruction: Lizard overlords coming out of hiding, activating their advanced weaponry on civilians

Best aspects of bunker: Hall of moving chainsaws, napalm, 50 years worth of Febreeze air fresheners and adult diapers

Additions to the gene pool: Strong ring fingers (relative to strength of other fingers), quickly reproducing hair, supple lips, tender lover.

Looking for: Any woman. Literally any woman. I'm so alone.

Name: Trevor Greissinger

Gender: Male

Suspected method of total destruction: Nuclear hellfire

Best aspects of bunker: Piranha moat, laser maze, sweet jumpsuits.

Additions to the gene pool: Very little hair, kung-fu skills, impeccable taste in khakis.

Looking for: Strong Amazonian warrior queen

 

Name: Waleed Al Rawi

Gender: Male

Suspected method of total destruction: Mass murder of everyone not dressed like Aladdin

Best aspects of bunker: Guard crocodile, lots of chocolate, puffy green suit used for distraction

Additions to the gene pool: Lion's mane, killer facial hair, sharp eyesight

Looking for: Women dressed like Jasmine