Sign_Here-EZ
Indicators of Self
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Enter your name:
Who are you anyway?
(Neatness counts)
Danger
By submitting this form you
DO
DON'T
give your consent that any and all responses included herein become fair game for the editorial staff of Flightless Hummingbird to use for their own sinister purposes including publishing excerpts in future mutations of this pseudo-periodical.
Warning!
There are no guarantees. A salesman will call. Interest rates subject to change when something else catches our collective eye. Your mileage may already be a winner. All applicable state and local taxes are fully protected by the Geneva Convention and need not apply. Employees not eligible. Blah blah blah, so forth and sew on, dot dot dot. Furthermore, submitting this form will result in the staff of this pseudo-periodical making a variety of unfounded assumptions about the respondent, including, but not limited to, genetic heritage, fashion sense and mating practices.
Not responsible.
Survey Survey
How many surveys do you fill out during the average month?
Of those, how many do you answer truthfully?
Are you being truthful now?
No
Maybe
Who wants to know?
Art
Pro
Con
Elaborate:
(Try not to ramble)
Have you ever used the words problematic, juxtaposition, and ontological in the same sentence?
Guilty
Not Guilty
Have you ever tried to have that sentence published?
Guilty
Not Guilty
Do you find words like astheticize and dichotomization creeping into your daily life?
True
False
Have you ever been astheticized without your knowledge?
Yes
Not That I Know Of
Do you adopt the same hushed tones and reverent manner in a museum as in a bank?
Never
Sometimes
SHHHHHHHH!
Have you ever purchased art as an investment?
Guilty
Not Guilty
Do you considered investing a form of self expression?
Buy
Sell
Have you ever looted another culture?
Guilty
Not Guilty
Do you use religious artifacts for secular purposes?
Never
Sometimes
I'm typing on one
Have you ever stolen the soul of a primitive and superstitious native?
Never
Once
Got a drawer full of them
Are you pillaging at this moment?
Not Guilty
Guilty
Guilty, but resent the implication
Paranoia
Is your paranoia
well founded
or
completely irrational
?
How can you tell?
(Rambling permitted)
When did you first decide
that certain government agencies or institutions considered you a threat or a nuisance?
By which do you feel threatened:
Governments
Theirs
Ours
Other
Multinational corporations.
Organized Religions
Nameless entities about which the mass of humanity is dangerously ignorant
(Elaboration Unnecessary.)
Do you ever have the feeling that your innermost thoughts and needs are being collected and analyzed for manipulative purposes and to rob you of any real choice?
Yes
Of Course
Certainly
Eschatology:
Optimistically, how long do you feel it will be before civilization collapses under the weight of its own unbridled folly?
90 Minutes
1 Day
1 Week
1 Month
6 Months
Other
Will this be a good thing?
Yes
Maybe
Undecided
Or just another quick-fix by sound-byte, opinion-poltergeist demagogues?
Yes
Maybe
Undecided
Has your gloomy prognosis affected your:
Career choice
Investment strategies
Drinking habits
Give an example of:
One thing you miss already.
One thing you won't miss.
Other:
Random Screeds and Free-style rants:
(Use other side if necessary.)
(Please wait for the confirmation message)
Or you can choose to submit the
New
Sign-Here-EZ-no-shit-we-really-mean-it-this-time
.
Half the flavor--All the fat!
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