Since my first interaction with Amber I have been grappling, on and off, with the troubling question of distinguishing and defining reality. Once it was simple. The world was as it appeared and reality was self-evident. Even then I knew that perceptions could be warped, tricked, or merely misinterpreted, but those false perceptions too were a part of reality. Then I was exposed to an infinite set of shadow realities and multiple universes with their own distinct infinite shadows. Suddenly it appeared that everything conceivable and inconceivable, possible and impossible, was real. It is a maddening concept. Amber's philosophers tempered the concept with the notion that an Amberite or other person from one of the two poles of reality made a shadow more real by experiencing it. This seems egocentric at the surface, but it has been a very useful method of looking at reality.

Now things have changed. People are different. Places are different. Amber itself is different. Even the Pattern is different. Ygg's death has damaged reality and I am forced to develop another paradigm by which to view reality. As strange as this sounds I now believe that only the five of us - Quinn, Jessica, Connie, Locke, and myself - and possibly a few other entities perhaps including the unicorn, the serpent, and Dworkin - are now defining reality. It will be the options we explore and the connections we make that will shape reality. It is our duty to return this power to all who held it before Ygg's death.

This theory seems functionally sound. Dworkin has created 5 Pattern coins which shield us from drifting into the unreality all around us. Without these coins we cannot function in a sane fashion for long. Even with the coins those around us seem disjoint at times. They sense oddities in their world, but adapt and accept the changes without fully realizing it. In time, I believe they won't even remember that anything was ever different. Despite the functional soundness of the theory I have a very hard time accepting that the five of us are now so important to defining reality. It strikes me as the sort of theory that would be crafted by a madman and megalomaniac. Have I gone mad? If so, my friends have joined me.

So what have I done to repair reality beside sleeping with Flora?

Precious little. Locke and I agreed that it was vital for us to locate Fiona. After all, her symbol is at the center of Dworkin's etching and she had been almost singular in the attempt to sustain and repair Ygg. We felt the safest and most effective method of locating her would be to hellride to her. I remembered not to make the same assumptions that I had made when I hellrode for Camille and we set off. The ride was a success, but the result will lead to some difficulties. Fiona was someplace in Amber.

In the meantime Jessica and Quinn have rescued Random from the dungeons (I hope) and Deidre's strike force prepares for an additional attack on Amber to complete the same objective. Gerard, Jullian, Caine, and Llewella will be enraged. We must remained focused, find Fiona, and replace Ygg without any further damage to reality.

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