Straight Talk About Societal Problems

Agriculture

Subsidies for catnip farmers.

Campaign Reform

Forget the negative campaign ads. Simply jump on the laps of all allergic opponents.

Crime

Fit the punishment to the size of the perpetrator. Insects should be eaten. Humans who return from vacation should be ignored.

Defense

Play war games with imaginary creatures.

Environment

Recycle paper grocery bags as manufactured housing.

Family Values

Cuddle your family but hide from women in navy blue dresses.

Federal Deficit

Repay all IOUs with a purr.

Foreign Relations

Suspend most-favored-nation status to countries who consider Kitty a L'Orange a culinary delight.

Health Care Reform

Cut medical costs for humans by hiding in your secret place ten minutes before your trip to the vet.

Welfare Reform

A chicken in every pot.

http://www-personal.umich.edu/~graceyor/charity2.html

Since May 31, 1996 this page has been accessed