[ 1 0 / 3 0 / 9 9 ]

The Chair Destructor it's back and its badder than ever...and when i say bad i mean that literally, its not that good...my last VR assignment was to go back to our last VRML model and make it more interactive by using scripts...i added those 2 levers on the left which allow you to adjust the size of the hammer head, and the length of the hammer...the chair can also be moved around...so, now the chair only gets smashed if the hammer hits it...it may seem like "well no duh, of course the chair only gets smashed if it gets hit", but it was actually a pain to write a script which determines if the hammer collides with the chair...and now instead of the chair pieces flying into space and staying there they explode and then fly back and re-assemble themselves...looks pretty cool... Quake II in Virtual Reality yesterday i got to play Quake II in the virtual reality CAVE at school...it was really neato! gosh, it was just undubilywoobly neat!...oh im just sick of using the word "cool"...if you dont know what a CAVE is, its a room that can project video on all of its walls in such away that the perspective is correct...also, it generates a separate image for both your left and right eyes so that objects appear to be 3 dimensional...you wear special shutter glasses which rapidly alternate blocking one of your eyes so that each eye only sees the image meant for it...the glasses also have a position sensor in them so that when you move around or look down your view can be correctly calculated...you can still tell that everything is computer generated images because the colors arent as brilliant and crisp as they are in reality...but things look completely 3D, as if you could reach out and grab them...graphics and computers are still developing rapidily so i am sure that in the future they will be able to create virtual realities which are almost indistinguishable from reality...

[ 1 0 / 2 5 / 9 9 ]

diversify i dont hear so much about it now, but back in high school i remember hearing about how badly high school students were doing on placement exams...things like 40% of american high school students couldnt find europe on a map or something...well at the time i thought this was pretty bad so i founded IKHTFEOAM (I Know How To Find Europe On A Map) and tried to educate high school students about how they could indentify europe...it was like a complex game of "wheres waldo?" but europe doesnt wear a red striped shirt...and i made an impact, kids who went thru my program could have found europe on a map even if you placed it down by australia...well, maybe australia is pushing it..but if you put it out in the middle of the pacific ocean theyd find it dammit and theyd put it right back where it belongs and id be damn proud of them when they did...now, as i get older i am starting to realize the importance of diversity...i am sure you have all heard about how social and cultural diversity are important but what about intellectual diversity?...why is it that we think everyone needs to be geniuses?...isnt it important that we have a wide range of intellect?...if everyone who graduated from highschool was smart then who would work at fast food restaurants and pick up the garbage?...it may sound like i am ripping on people who arent bright, but quite the contrary, i am saying that they are the foundation of our country...they are the ones who do all the grunt work that keeps this country moving along...we need people to drive trucks and forklifts and sweep floors and pave roads and serve food...um, did i just offend a bunch of people?...ah, what am i worried about, they probably couldnt even find michigan on a map let alone ann arbor...and dont even think about starting a f*cking "I Know How To Find Michigan On A Map" program now...heres what im saying, we dont want everyone to graduate from high school, go to college, and become engineers...cos then we'd just have a bunch of people who can figure out what to do but no one to do it...so dont get upset if you hear that 60% of high school students cant add 5 and 7...the less skilled they are, the less you have to pay them...thats good for business...right now tons of jobs, like painting the red noses on plastic rudolphs, are being exported to other countries...now, if we could increase the high school drop out rate here then that would flood the job market with unskilled workers who would be willing to work for practically nothing...then we could start making our own plastic rudolphs... ah, there he is...

[ 1 0 / 2 4 / 9 9 ]

heres my latest VR model if you care... rusty metal texture and stone brick texture were made by Adrian Carmack/Kevin Cloud of id software.

[ 1 0 / 2 2 / 9 9 ]

i realized my week was too busy when i was getting all stressed out about when i was gonna have time to stop and get gas for my car cos i had been driving on empty for the past day...something which would take about 5 minutes to remedy...i mean how am i supposed to get **CENSORED!** this was way TOO HOT for TV! **CENSORED!**...quick, order "randomSPACE - way TOO HOT for TV!" so you can see all the outrageuosness that goes on behind the scenes here at randomSPACE which is just way TOO HOT to show you now without getting into a lawsuit with the FCC...thats right, "randomSPACE - way TOO HOT for TV!" is the most outrageuos, out of control, insane situations that you could ever imagine...that is why you must order now so that you can see what everyone is going to be talking about, or more likely, screaming about!...i mean this stuff is beyond vile and offensive...folks, you dont want to miss this opportunity!... nothing's shocking. "Like the situation at ski resorts of young women looking for husbands and husbands looking for young women, the situation is not as symmetric as it appears." - unknown

[ 1 0 / 1 9 / 9 9 ]

forgetful so i ate dinner at wendys today and they were a little slow with fixing some of my food so they said i should just have a seat and theyd bring the rest to me when it was ready...so thats cool, i sat down and ate all the food they did give me...then i counted the number of tiles in the floor...dug thru the trash cans to see if anyone threw away anything good...you never know...jogged a few laps around the building...but the rest of my food never came...so, this doesnt really bother me much, i had eaten enough to fill myself up...but i thought hey, this is a good opportunity for me to practice being more assertive....so, i walked right up to that counter, threw a chair over it and ran out the door...that will teach them...

[ 1 0 / 0 7 / 9 9 ]

vizatiza rizabizaliza for skizool with the skiza yeah so you remember earlier i showed you my first VR project...well, i guess most people in my class just made a chair...and my lab instructor was like if anyone makes a chair for the second project you fail the class and im coming after your children...since i dont have any children and ill probably fail the class anyways, i figured hey, why not skip class and get some girl pregnant...you didnt expect that did you?...well...anyways, i was just going to show you my second VR model...its a big hammer and when you press the button on it the hammer smashes the chair into pieces which go flying into space...see for yourself: ive actually changed it a bit since i made these snapshots...but you get the idea... "Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself, prefer to laugh since there is a lot less cleaning up to do afterward." -Kurt Vonnegut

[ 1 0 / 0 6 / 9 9 ]

What am i going to do with my life? this is a question im sure we have all asked ourselves at one point in time...when you saw the movie "City Slickers" and Curly was talking about that "one thing" that is most important in life you were probably like "yes!...im finally going to figure out what im supposed to be doing with my life!"... but instead of answering the question, Curly said that you had to figure out that "one thing" for yourself...so then you were totally stuck right?, youre not smart enough to figure these things out by yourself...well dont worry, youre not the only one...there are probably 3 or 4 other people out there like you... what i would recommend is that you just accept that you are a miserable person and will never be happy... dont try re-arranging your life or anything, it wont change anything...just accept that you will spend the rest of your life depressed and get on with things...being unhappy kinda sucks but you dont want to spend your whole life searching for something you can never find (happiness)...it will leave you empty...think of it this way, is it better to spend your life lusting over some beautiful girl you can never have or to find someone that suits you and just be happy with it?...learn to take pleasure in the simple things in life...you dont need to walk on the moon to have a fulfilling life, it is all relative to your personal outlook...i held the door open for a girl who had her hands full this morning...that was nice...not because it felt good to help someone, but because she rubbed up against me as she walked by....ha!...im just joking, please...seriously now, i dont have the solution for you not knowing what you want to do with your life, at one time i didnt know either...i initially thought that i wanted to be a mechanical engineer because i always liked tinkering with mechanical things...then i took some physics classes and it bored me to death...i also took a programming class and really enjoyed it...that is when i changed my major to computer engineering...i just had to convince myself that yes, i could be successful in this area...so, if you just keep stumbling along with an open mind and open eyes im sure that you will run into something more fulfilling...but the point is, be happy now...dont be happy about what youre going to do in five years or you will find that you are never satisfied with where you are...there are many things in your daily life that you just dont appreciate... "You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her." - Rachel?

[ 1 0 / 0 2 / 9 9 ]

don't stray, don't ever go away, I should be much too smart for this, you know it gets the better of me sometimes, when you and I collide, I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time don't let me drown, let me down, I say it's all because of you, and here I go losing my control, I'm practising your name, so I can say it to your face it doesn't, seem right, to look you in the eye, and let all the things, you mean to me, come tumbling out my mouth, indeed it's time, tell you why, I say it's infinately true, say you'll stay, don't come and go, like you do sway my way, yeah I need to know, all about you, and there's no cure, and no way to be sure, why everything's turned inside out, instilling so much doubt, it makes me so tired, I feel so uninspired, my head is battling with my heart, my logic has been torn apart, and now it all turns sour, come sweeten every afternoon, say you'll stay don't come and go, like you do sway my way, yeah I need to know, all about you, say you'll stay, don't come and go, like you do, sway my way, yeah I need to know, all about you, it's all because of you, it's all because of you -bic runga "sway"

[ 9 / 2 8 / 9 9 ]

opening doors i think some people go a little too out of their way to open doors..i mean if youre like 10 steps ahead of me then just let the damn door close, ill re-open it when i get there...you dont need to sit there for a minute holding the door open making me feel like i have to run to the door so you can continue on with your day...i mean, its no big deal to open a door...unless youre carrying stuff...like i was walking up this stairwell yesterday and i saw this guy who had his hands full and was trying to balance the bags he was carrying on his knee so he could open the door, so of course i stopped and gave him some help...i just said "hey dumbf*ck, set the sh*t on the ground, open the door, pick your sh*t back up, and then go thru the f*cking door, and get the f*ck out of my way"...so he set the stuff down and opened the door and then i grabbed it and ran away...what a sucker...but you can imagine how pissed i was when i realized he was just taking out the trash...this is kind of off topic, but i was at wendys getting some ketchup and there was this girl there refilling the napkins or something and she was like "i hope you enjoy your meal" and she smiled...and i was just like what the hell? you dont care if i enjoy my f*cking meal...you probably spit in it...they dont pay you enough to care...then i punched her in the stomach...so...probably not the reaction she was looking for... American Pie went and saw American Pie (the movie) the other day...very funny, but probably not something you want to take your parents to...because think about it, if you invite them they will probably expect you to pay...they give you food, clothes, and a place to stay for 18 years and then they cant even pay for one little movie?...pretty ridiculous...if youre going to take someone, take your grandparents, they pay for everything...and, half way thru the movie they will probably walk out in disgust and then youll have a few empty seats around you and you can get comfy...just make sure you take their keys before the movie so they cant leave early and make you walk home...but seriously, i thought American Pie was funny, it was like a cross between "There's Something About Mary" and "Porky's"... the fragile in case you dont know, theres a new nin(nine inch nails) cd out... did you happen to catch or did it happen too fast what you thought would always last has passed you by is everything speeding up or am i slowing down just spinning around and i dont know why all the pieces dont fit thought i didnt give a shit i never wanted to be like you but for all i aspire i am really a liar and im running out of things i can do id like to stay but every day everything pushes me farther away if you could show help me to know how its supposed to be where did it go? pleading and needing and bleeding and breading and feeding exceeding where is everybody? trying and lying defying denying crying and dying where is everybody? -nin, "where is everybody?" You make believe...You make believe that nothing is wrong until you're cryin'....You make believe...You make believe your life is so long until you're dyin'....dyin' on me... -Limp Bizkit, "Re-Arrange"

[ 9 / 2 1 / 9 9 ]

here's what my first 3D Virtual Reality model looks like: in case you cant tell, its the earth sitting inside a castle...pretty simple but they are making us type out the VRML(Virtual Reality Modeling Language) by hand right now which is a pain in the ass because you have to figure out all of the coordinates by hand...for example, here's how one of the cone roofs was specified: Transform{ translation -3.5 6.5 -3.5 children Shape{ geometry Cone{ bottomRadius 1.5 height 1.5 } appearance Appearance { material Material { diffuseColor 1 .5 0 specularColor .4 .3 .3 shininess 0.1 } texture ImageTexture { url "q3_blocks17floor3.jpg" } textureTransform TextureTransform { scale 1 1 } } } } in the future we will use programs which allow us to draw the models visually instead of specifying them with text...

[ 9 / 1 5 / 9 9 ]

this is why i created the whatever page, i can post crap like this and not even feel bad about it: Existence. i read some news today that said they had discovered evidence of a planet circling a star in deep space which could be similar in size to the earth [read it]...and it just got me thinking, if we find that the formation of planets is an hourly (perhaps even nanosecond or less) event in the universe, and many of them are similar to earth, then how does that effect how we percieve the "specialness" of the earth?... is the earth a freak of nature or are there a million other planets out there like earth?...the hubble space telescope took an interesting picture of a star forming from dust and gas...in the gas and dust there are clumps of matter that scientists believe will form planets [see it]...is this how earth was formed?...or did god click his heals together to make earth?...and if he did, is he clicking his heals together to form all of these other planets in the universe?...if so, why?...arent we supposed to be special?... From my paper, "life": Since the three most abundant elements on Earth - hydrogen, oxygen, and carbon -, are also the three most abundant elements in the universe, our planet may not be so unique. Furthermore, "the elements hydrogen, oxygen, and carbon account for more than 95 percent of the atoms in the human body and all other known life". "If life on Earth were composed primarily of molybdenum, bismuth, and plutonium, then we would have excellent reason to suspect that we were something special in the universe" (Tyson 71). so how special are you?...now maybe you think you are special and thats what your mom tells you, but what is the reality?...why do you think you are special?...perhaps you think you are special because you have to, you are genetically pre-programed to think this because if you didnt think you were special, if you didnt think there was a point for your life, you wouldnt try to survive... our view of reality is not necesarrily the most accurate one, but just the one that leads us to believe in our self importance which makes us want to survive which allows us to exist...perhaps the only point to life is to exist...then what if humans have advanced to too high of a level of awareness that will allow us to realize that our lives are in fact pointless and then we will see no reason to go on...a wolf never stops and thinks "why am i chasing this rabbit?...what is the point of my life?"...a wolf just follows its built in instincts...that is how they continue to exist... what i am proposing here is that the existence of life is no more of a miracle than the existence of mountains or streams...both were formed by the right combonation of elements and circumstances which are part of the natrual laws of the universe...and there is not really a purpose for life, it just exists because it was formed by nature, the same reason a rock exists...the reason we are so concerned about having a purpose for our life is because for any life form to survive, self preservation has to be important to them and in order for self preservation to be important to us we need to have a purpose...we have evolved beyond the simple behavior of a wolf whose thoughts are controled soley by their instincts and that has created this need for a purposeful life which has led to every human culture creating a god to worship...in the scope of the universe tho, something which previous cultures have never fully understood, the earth is infinitely small and we are even smaller... so am i full of shit or what?...youre damn right i am...seriously, what am i talking about?... Virtual Reality so, im back at school and i have one pretty interesting class called Virtual Reality(VR)...VR is where you create an artifical reality with computers and present it in such a way that it is indistinguishable from real reality...computers still arent powerful enough today to provide a completely life-like VR experience, but you can walk around in a cartoonish looking 3D world where objects appear to have volume and are not just flat (they do this by calculating 2 perspectives, one for your right eye and one for your left eye, which allows you to percieve depth)...interaction with the VR world is something that is still being worked on, right now it focuses mostly on the visual sense and not any of the others like touch or smell...so VR to me seems like one of these technologies that people created because it seemed cool and then had to ask themselves "ok, now what can we use this for?...i mean besides sex with pamela anderson..."...and people have found many interesting applications for it, we had a psychiatrist come in and talk to us today who is pioneering the use of VR to treat his patients...how/why?...well lets say you have a patient that is acrophobic (afraid of heights), you can make a virtual reality where the patient rides up in an elevator to the top of a tall building and has the feeling that they are way up in the air even tho they never left the ground...the psyciatrist did this exact thing and i think 3 out of 6 patients were cured...now he is wondering why?...how does the mind percieve a VR world as opposed to the real world?...why does it work with some people and not for others?...does it have to do with a persons visualization capabilities?...what?...dont look at me like you dont know...youre holding back on us arent you you bastard?...

[ 9 / 0 9 / 9 9 ]

catastrophe avoided look, its 9/9/99 and no computer problems...why?...because the media is a bunch of idiots who dont care about reporting factual information, just information that will get you to tune in...scaring you with blasphemy (look!, i learned a new word) is one way to get you to tune in...what was the unfounded theory they overhyped?...that the integer "9999" is used as an end of file sentinel in some programs so the date 9/9/99 could cause problems...first of all, you would never store a date as a 4 digit integer, why?...because you need at least 2 digits for the month, 2 digits for the day, and 2 digits for the year (actually 4 for the year if you want to avoid y2K problems), giving you a total of 6 digits...so, you would never have 9999, you would have 090999...and this, should not be any problem...the y2K thing however is very real...on Jan. 1, 2000 all computer systems will fail and you will most likely die as a result...unless you stay tuned to my website...i will keep you updated on how you can avoid death in the year 2000, check here daily if you value your life...more information after the break... you people suck hey, what the hell is up with all of you people and your cell phones and pagers?...do you think you are a doctor or something?...is someone going to die if you dont return your calls in 5 minutes?...are you the president of the united states?...i mean who are you?...youre no one...i know what youre thinking, hey lars i can talk on my cell phone and it doesnt affect you at all, let me have my fun...no, it doesnt, but it does affect me when you come to class and dont turn your cell phone/pager off and then lecture constantly gets interrupted by rings and beeps...and the noise doesnt really bother me, its not like i was paying attention anyways...what bothers me is that you people are so thoughtless that you come to lecture and you dont even think about how your cell phone/pager ringing is a disturbance to everyone else...you are so wrapped up in your own little world that you are completely unconcerned about anyone but yourself...if everyone could just spend 5 seconds a day thinking about someone besides themselves the world would be a better place...not because people would be more courteous but because everyone would have to have a watch to make sure they did it for 5 seconds and then maybe you people wouldnt have to stop me and ask me for the f*cking time so g*d damn m*ch...damn people, buy a happy meal and get a free watch from McDonalds or something....no im just joking, i dont even wear a watch myself...who needs a watch, theres clocks on every damn electrical appliance they make these days...computers, tvs, vcrs, ovens, microwaves, cable boxes, cars, bombs...daylight savings time comes around and you have to spend the whole day resetting all the clocks in your house...uh... why do i watch award shows?...they are so dumb...i think pearl jam has it right... how many girls choose cotton dress worlds when they could have satins and lace...to stand by her man thru good times and bad and still keep a smile on her face...how many hearts would feel the winters we've known and still not turn cold...true love travels on a gravel road...love is a stranger and hearts are in danger on smooth streets paved with gold...but true love travels on a gravel road...down thru the years we've had hard times and tears but it only helps our love grow...and we'll stay together no matter how strong the winds blow...not one time have i seen your blue eyes fill with envy and stray from the one that you hold...true love travels on a gravel road... -The Afghan Whigs

[ 8 / 1 7 / 9 9 ]

in the news...... heard that they found a new metal that allows for 50% more energy storage in batteries...and you thought the energizer commercial was annoying at "it keeps going, and going, and going..."....well now it is "it keeps going, and going, and going, and going, and going, and going...you get the idea yet?...you stupid consumers, dont buy duracell...duracell doesnt have a pink bunny...you like pink bunnies, when you were a child you played with one...or no wait, that was a pink dress you played with, not a pink bunny.......oh, by the way...its still going...".... also heard that someone at UofMass. has made a computer the size of an asprin which can be put into any home appliance (coffe maker, tv, furnace) and it will allow you to control the appliance from your computer or the internet...what if we make our lives so automated that we render ourselves useless?...ever read the ray bradbury story that consists solely of a house that goes thru its daily routine and has no human characters... also heard that you pee in the shower...what do you have to say about that?...

[ 8 / 1 5 / 9 9 ]

falling trees ive been way too busy lately...and yet i still find time for you... this tree fell over at the place im house sitting at but instead of just falling on the ground, it fell onto some other trees and was crushing them...so, i bought myself an axe and went out there and taught that tree about respect and decency...if youre a tree and you start to fall over, pick an open area to fall in...dont fall on some other trees hoping that they will hold you up and no one will notice youve fallen...just fall to an open spot and deal with it, your life is over...yeah, i chopped the tree up and it was pretty fun...since it was being held up by other trees i had to climb up it to chop off the smaller branches that were holding it up cos there was no way i was chopping thru its 2ft diameter trunk...i still had to chop thru some big pieces and it took me about 4hrs and even today i think my grandma could beat me in tug of war cos i have no strength left in my hands from gripping the axe all day yesterday...id let go of the axe and my hands would stay in the same position as they were in when i was holding the axe and if i tried to open them any more it was quite painful...i need to go make some dinner now, the only thing ive had to eat today is doritos...hmm...actually i think i will just get some fast food...dont tell rachel...

[ 8 / 1 2 / 9 9 ]

( t h i n g s | t h a t | a n n o y | m e ) 1. selecting text in microsoft products... if you are using Internet Explorer, here is a little interactive demonstration for you...try to select the text between the single quotes of the text below and paste it into the box below...good luck...you netscape users dont have to be left out, paste the text below into MS Word or Wordpad and try the same thing from there if you want to be annoyed... 'This is annoying' solution: hi-lite the "T"...hold in the shift key and click to the right of the "g"...what a pain in the ass...there is many more instances where microsoft products will select text that you didnt select, i think it is supposed to help you but i would rather just have programs select only the text that i select because more often than not microsoft products will automatically select stuff that i am not trying to copy and it pisses me off... 2. happy internet people ;) OMG! do you know what im talking about d00d! i mean LOL! like OMG! some ppl are like way overzealous on the net! ROTFLMAO! OMG! :-)...these ppl r0xor *grin* LOL!...like OMG! gag me with a spoon!!;-)...whatever, LMAO!!!! at these people!!... 3. overly religious people just heard that kansas voted in an amendment to allow the teaching of creationism in schools and get rid of evolution...i like this quote "the rest of the world is moving into the 21st century, kansas has decided to go the other way"...a supporter of the anti-evolution amendment said "where is the evidence of dinosaurs turning into birds or turning into whales"...she obviously has a clear understanding of evolution...i actually never had a problem with religious people until i came into contact with my wonderful cousin jackie...i am sure that she will move to kansas now because she blames evolution for the downfall of society...in recent news, scientists say they found fossils of life that existed over 2.7 billion years ago in australia...if you believe these scientists findings then the devil has probably invaded your soul and you should run to your local church for help now!...and remember, theres always Mrs. Betty Bowers'... 4. people who write lists of things that annoy them i already have enough things that annoy me...now im getting annoyed by things that never annoyed me before because some annoying person pointed it out...that is annoying... Think of the possibilities

[ 8 / 1 1 / 9 9 ]

more evil i was just flipping thru the channels and i happened to catch this news story of another killing spree...this time the victims were children at a daycare center...now tell me, how fucking sick do you have to be to open fire on a bunch of little kids?...this guy needs to be beaten to death with a hammer...i agree with dennis miller, if you ever find yourself seriously considering killing a child, molesting a child, or raping a woman then do everyone a favor and get a gun and shoot yourself in the head...ah, what can you do...there will always be fucked up people who do fucked up things...

[ 8 / 1 0 / 9 9 ]

you are all evil so i came into work today and i turned on my monitor and then i reached down to turn on my computer but hmmm...my computer wasnt there, there was just a bunch of cords plugged into nothing...odd...so i asked my boss if there was any reason my computer should be gone...he said "no..." and i was like oh shit...its gone...so we both went over and stared at the empty space my computer used to occupy and were like "god dammit.."...then everyone in my department came over and looked at the empty space....we all agreed that my computer was gone...someone stole it...this person should die...i know they just wanted the computer and probably did not think much about all the work i am going to lose as a result of them taking my computer but i wonder if when they take it home and plug it in and look at what is on the hard drive if they will just delete all of my drawings, programming files, and other documents without a care...i mean, this is shit that has important info about our cable systems on it that no one else has on their computer...how could you be working at a company and steal a computer out of the design/engineering department and just destory all of the information on it?...is this person insane?...like take a secretaries computer, not a drafting station that has important drawings and other files on it...rachel was just telling me about how the whole world is evil but i didnt believe her...i may join her when she moves to a small deserted island away from the rest of humanity...i just saw a special yesterday on the island of bali and it looked pretty cool...not exactly deserted tho...i could become a river guide and give white water rafting tours...rachel could become a pornstar like she was telling me about yesterday...just kidding...and dont worry rach, no one reads this page...you dont even read this page...im writing to myself here...which is almost as fun as talking to myself...so anyways, now not only do i have people stealing from me at home, but at work too...i may do something like the emperors of china did and build a large wall around myself and my stuff that separates it and me from the rest of the world...

[ 8 / 0 8 / 9 9 ]

The Blair Witch Project went and saw "the blair witch project" today...it was more funny than scary in my opinion...but i thought it was a good movie even tho the jerky, extreme close up, out of focus filmography did get annoying sometimes...the spinning, jerky camera movement actually made my brother nauseated...well he said he thought it was because i kept elbowing him in the stomach, but i elbow everyone in the stomach who sits next to me and they have never complained of nausea, just pain...so it must have been the "i dont know how to hold the camera still" camera work used extensively in "the blair witch" that did it...

[ 7 / 3 1 / 9 9 ]

when i was biking today i came across one of these radars that the city puts on some of the streets that tell you how fast youre going when you pass them...im thinking that in the future these things will be fitted with cameras that will take a pic of your license plate as you pass by if you are speeding and theyll send you a ticket in the mail (an idea that could have only been thought up by satan himself)...right now all they do is tell you how fast youre going which you could tell by just looking at your speedometer...but anyways, i was curious about how fast i could go on my bike so rode past it and only registered a mere 25mph...i think i could get up to 30mph if i had more time to get up speed and hadnt been riding for like 20 miles already...its very humid here and i guess we are in some sort of heat wave...every year they are always talking about how its so hot and we're in some kind of heat wave...i guess thats because we do have a heat wave every year, its called SUMMER...its supposed to be hot...dont act surprised...i guess it is hotter than normal this summer but when every place you go is air conditioned who really cares...i dont really like hot weather tho...id move to minnesota if jackie didnt live there...just kidding jackie...id live in the same state as you...as long as we were 2-3hrs apart...thats by plane...so alaska may be the only state big enough... remotes are these things more trouble than they are worth?...i think i spend more time looking for my remote than using it...like ill spend 5 minutes looking for my remote when i could just go over to the tv which is 5 feet away and change the channel...and my remote was so annoying, it was one of these all-in-one remotes but the only problem was that it would constantly "forget" the remote codes for my cable box making it unfunctional until i typed the code in again...but even worse, usually i would have to type in the code multiple times and beat the remote against the floor before it would start working again (ok, maybe i didnt have to beat it against the floor, i just did that because it pissed me off)...finally i got totally fed up with it yesterday and i broke the evil remote in half...my tv hasnt changed channels since...well actually i was using a golf club to change channels for awhile...now i am watching womens basketball, which is a sure sign that i have no remote...nothing against womens sports, i just dont really like basketball...but this brings me to another point...i was watching the womens soccer world cup and the commentators would often comment about the players marriage status and kids like "Parlow is taking the ball up the side of the field...shes a mother of 2..."...when you watch a male sport like hockey you never hear them saying "there goes Lidstorm up the side with the puck...hes the father of 2"...cos guys who watch hockey dont give a damn about that shit...as more women watch sports you may see the sports commentors try to appeal to this demographic like "Roberts just got a new hair cut the other day...he got a french perm with blonde hi-lites...shame you cant see it while he's wearing his helmet...when he's on the sideline with his helmet off we'll try and go in for a close up for you...he recently divorced his wife shannon who is sisters with his teamate Pearson...word is that things have been a little tense between Pearson and Roberts, and Shannon isnt talking with Roberts since friday...but lets hope they can work it out...Roberts and his wife have 3 kids, we are not sure at this time who will be given custody of the kids...stay tuned for the half time show where we will interview the kids and get their take on this...and of course, we will have our half-time player relationships report as well..." have you guys ever seen "the gods must be crazy?"...very funny movie...if youre into slapstick type humor...and the narrator of that movie also made an animal documentary called "animals are beautiful people" which is also very funny...

[ 7 / 2 9 / 9 9 ]

i did a demographic study of my audience and found that 50% of them are actually christian...needless to say the "anti-religious" stuff doesnt go over too well with them...so, i would like to take this time to show you, the audience, a few sites you can go to to learn more about god and the bible: Land Over Baptist - these godly people are always keeping their eye on the ways the devil is trying to invade our lives and they also report other current news related to christianity and have message boards where you can interact with the church staff... GodHatesFags.com - find out why god hates gay people... GodHatesAmerica.com - find out why god hates america... Betty Bowers' Christian Advice - need some advice on how to become a better christian or want to know what is acceptable behavior for a christian?...this may be a good resource for you then...here is a sample question Mrs. Bowers answers on her page: Dear Mrs. Bowers: I am about to get married. As a Christian, I have, of course, saved most of myself for marriage. Now that the "Big Night" is coming up, I need to know what kinds of sex things the Lord will allow me to do. My fiancée made an alphabetized list of what he wants done, but I haven't even gotten past the B's without Bible problems. For example, the only things they Blow in the Old Testament are trumpets and the only "Job" I found was some poor guy who went through some serious drama just to settle a machismo bet between God and Satan. Now, I'm more confused than ever. Help! Confused in Connecticut other questions that Mrs. Bowers tackles: Will There Be Room In Heaven For the Poorly Dressed?, What Should A Christian Lady Wear To An Abortion Clinic Bombing?, Can God See Us Masturbate?, Does God Have An Aggression Control Problem?, What Would Jesus Think About Body Piercing as Solely a Fashion Decision?, God Told Me To Lay Down in Green Pastures. Is This His Way of Telling Me To Do it With a Horse?, and more... from now on, randomSPACE will be your #1 source for christian propaganda...i mean information...

[ 7 / 2 8 / 9 9 ]

fallacies from the movie contact: (context: the person in bold is explaing why she doesnt believe in god) i wouldnt believe in anything i couldnt prove... did you love your father? what did you love your father? yes prove it prove it?...proving anything outside of mathematics can be pretty hard...but first of all, she said "i wouldnt believe in anything i couldnt prove", not "i wouldnt believe in anything i couldnt prove to YOU"...so, obviously she knows whether or not she loved her father so there is no need for her to "prove" it to herself...but anyways, do we really only believe in things that we can prove?...like just because i cant prove you ate the last piece of cake doesnt mean i dont believe it to be true...you selfish asshole...speaking of assholes, there was this one guy who once tried to tell me that believing that god exists is no different than believing that abraham lincoln existed...how did he come to this absurd conclusion?....well, because the things that lincoln has left us: his accomplishments, our history, his legacy , and the people who knew him are no more than what "god" has left behind...well, lets assume that this is true, why do i still feel that believing in god is different than believing lincoln existed?...well, to believe in something we dont really need to be able to prove it, we just need to think it is reasonable...how do we decide what is and what is not reasonable?...by things we witness in our own lifetime...so, is it reasonable to believe that a man named abraham lincoln once existed and was the president of the united states?...i have seen men before...i have seen presidents...seems pretty reasonable to me...now if you told me that abraham lincoln was 25ft tall and could heal people by touching them i might find it a bit harder to believe you....so what about god?...cant see him...cant smell him...cant touch him...cant hear him...yet he is the most powerful thing in the universe...he created earth and everything on it down to the finest detail in 7 days by waving his hands around or something...does this sound reasonable?...i have never witnessed anything like this before...can you understand why someone may have trouble believing it?...one thing we have witnessed is other cultures 'making up' religions to follow...the greek gods for instance, can we all agree they dont exist?...so we know man has a tendancy to make up religions, why should one believe that they arent all made up considering there is no empirical proof of god?...well, because if you dont believe in god then youre going to hell...right jackie?... the great wall there is actually not just one "great wall of china"...there are many great walls that were constructed at different times by different emperors...but, they were all constructed for the same reason, to keep the nomads in the north from coming into chinese villages and raiding them...the nomads had no homes, they just wandered around with their herd of animals which they used for food, clothing, and other necessities...every so often they would raid chinese villages killing everyone, burning it down, and taking what they wanted...so one chinese emperor commanded that a wall be built that was 4,000 miles long to seperate the chinese from the nomads...the wall was finished in 12yrs by slave labor (the poor) and was effective for awhile at keeping the nomads out...but like all empires, the chinese one eventually fell, giving way to other emperors whom all seemed to build a wall of their own that was bigger and better...they say that all of the walls together add up to over 35,000 miles...some built over 2,000 years ago but are still standing today...there is lots of amazing architecture in china and india...the architecture of ancient civilizations is actually far more impressive than anything we make these days and yet we have better tools and more resources (except its hard to find slaves these days...Nike, and Kathy Lee Gifford managed to do it tho)...how did the ancient indians lift a 4 ton piece of granite thousands of feet up to the top of a temple?(answer below)...im sure we could make nice temples if we wanted to, we just are too worried about functionality and money...most of the amazing ancient temples were built by incredibly rich emprerors...these days we dont allow our leaders to be so much richer than the people under the leader...can you imagine being one of these emperors living in one of these huge temples and having like 2,0000 women servants...please... (answer: they made a dirt ramp with a 6 degree slope over 1 mile long and had elephants pull the 4 ton rock up the incline, rolling it on logs...this is our best guess anyways, part of the supposed ramp still exists today...) this is what happens when i watch "the learning channel"

[ 7 / 2 1 / 9 9 ]

my cousin sent me these song lyrics: i can't hold it in, my soul is screaming... hey you i'm into Jesus, oh yeah which inspired me to write this beautiful poem: hey yeah, im into jesus im so far gone its like a disease-a i say things in my head and i think they come true it doesnt make sense but its what we do i try to tell others that they should be like me believe in a god that they cant even see i can commit any sin and just be forgiven yeah thats whats its like when youre a christian now if youre not a christian youll be going to hell its going to be hot but i sure wish you well so you better come to our churches and give us some money or youll be hurting so bad it wont even be funny if you dont believe in god then youre in denial youve been touched by the devil, and youre going to fry -oh it is fun being christian and pointing my finger the thought of me being wrong does not even linger i used to have to worry about problems with my self now that im christian i just blame everyone else hey yeah, im into jesus im so far gone its like a disease-a

[ 7 / 1 9 / 9 9 ]

stupidity every so often i run across a piece of writing that uses incredibly stupid logic and it pisses me off...here is one written by a "hacker" (person who illegally breaks into computer systems)...his comments in bold, mine in italic... "Mentor's Last Words" Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"... Damn kids. They're all alike. no, i dont think anyone would say all kids are alike, or even that all hackers are alike...youre just fishing for sympathy...aw, poor hackers are stereotyped...what group isnt?...its the way of life, get used to it... But did you, in your three- piece psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him? I am a hacker, enter my world... 'the hacker'?...what hacker?...werent you just indirectly complaining about being stereotyped?...yet you seem to be talking in generalizations... Mine is a world that begins with school...I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...Damn underachiever. They're all alike. there you go again...people are stereotyping you huh? you poor thing...gosh, youve had a rough life...people think youre an underachiever because you dont do your school work...that is rough... I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..." Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike. you understand how to reduce fractions?...wow, then why the hell cant you understand that in order for a teacher to evaluate you they need to see your work?...some kids do copy, how would the teacher know you didnt?...is it so hard to write out how you reduced a damn fraction?... I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me... Or feels threatened by me.. Or thinks I'm a smart ass.. Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here... Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike. oh look, i found a pencil...if it breaks its because i pushed too hard and not cos it doesnt like me...how cool, i think i will devote my life to pencils...ok, you can shut the fuck up with the "theyre all alike" shit...we feel sorry for you...glad you found a place where you dont have to deal with other peoples mistakes or feelings... And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it... this is where I belong..." I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all... Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike... yeah, hacking is like doing drugs baby...probably the only reason you like doing it is because its illegal... You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. why are you so dependent on others?...if you dont like what is being fed to you then feed yourself... We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert. This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. you dont like money..of course, of course...youve got great morals, thats why you intrude on others privacy and steal other peoples intellectual property... We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias...and you call us criminals. probably cos you break into shit, steal shit, and mess shit up...figure it out...dont care if you have a race, what youre doing is wrong...i dont care if youre seeking knowledge...can i break into the pentagon in seek of knowledge?...give me a break... You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals. such an evil world we live in...and you are so pure...some people wage wars which is far worse than anything youve done so everything youve done is ok...good logic...lets just stop prosecuting people for stealing because some people do worse things like murder so really people who steal arent all that bad in comparision... Yes, I am a criminal. good, we agree on something My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for. curiousity doesnt give you the right to infringe on other peoples privacy...and you know the only reason you became a hacker was so that you could hack into porn sites to get free porn so dont give me this shit about how you dont care about looks... I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike. hopefully you arent all this dumb...try doing something useful... +++The Mentor+++ if you want to be a hacker, fine...but dont start crying when you get your ass thrown in jail for it cos what you are doing is wrong, you are abusing your power...

[ 7 / 1 4 / 9 9 ]

Encryption ever wonder how/if your credit card number can be securely transfered over the net when you order something online?...if so, read on... lets say you wanted to send your friend the message "lars is a bitch" thru email...that message doesnt go directly from your computer to your friends computer, it bounces around the internet from computer to computer until it gets to your friend...well, what is stopping one of those computers in the middle from reading what you wrote and telling me so i could come kick your ass?...nothing really, thats why if you want to send something private over the internet (like your credit card number) you need to take some security measures...in the research work i am doing this summer im using ssl (secure socket layer) which uses encryption to make your connection secure...so how does it work?...thats what im trying to figure out, but i can explain it in general terms...first lets make sure we understand what encryption means..to encrypt something means to change it in a way that it is no longer understandable to a 3rd party...lets say we want to encrypt the "lars is a bitch" message, we could replace every letter with the letter that follows it in the alphabet so it would be "mbst jt b cjudi" and then tell the person who is reading the message to decrypt the message by replacing all of the letters with the letter that precedes them in the alphabet so that they would get back the "lars is a bitch"...there are a few problems with this, first of all the encryption method (replacing letters with the letter that follows them in the alphabet) is way too simple and could be "cracked" (decrypted by a 3rd party) easily...and how do we tell the person who is recieving the message the method to decrypt it?...we couldnt tell them in the email because then any 3rd party who intercepted the message would know the decryption method and could decrypt it...so what do we do if we have no way to securely transmit this method of decryption to the reciever?...we use asymmetric encryption...first i guess i have to explain the idea of a "key"...there are certain algorithms that have been developed to encrypt data which use "keys" to specify how that data is encrypted...this allows everyone to use the same algorithms for encryption but still have their encryption be unique by specifying a unique "key"...normal encrpytion would use the same key to encrypt and decrypt data or at least the decryption key could easily be derived from the encryption key knowing the algorithm for encryption...am i losing you?...i thought this was going to be easy to explain....lets got back to the example of replacing each letter with the letter that follows it in the alphabet, the key for this could be a "1" to denote that you are moving each letter up the alphabet by 1...the decryption key would then be "-1"...so lets say you encrypt something using this method and tell your friend what your key is to decrypt it...this means that your friend now knows your key so if you wanted to encrypt something else and not have them be able to decrypt it you would have to use another key right?...well, changing keys all the time can get confusing....so what do we do?...as i mentioned before, we use asymmetric encryption...whats that?...well, assymetric encryption uses one key for encryption and a differnt key for decryption...it is possible to derive the decryption key from the encryption key but using the most efficient algorithm known today it would take the fastest computer billions of years to decrypt...this is where the idea of having a public and private key came from...the key you use for decryption you keep to yourself and never share with anyone and is called your private key...the key you use for encryption you can give out to who ever you want and they wont be able to derive your private key from it, this is your public key...so to send encrypted data to someone else you get their public key from them, use that public key to encrypt the data, send the data to them, and then they use their private key to decrypt the data...if you understand that you are very smart...there are more things you need to worry about on the net, like how do you know the computer youre talking to is who they say they are?...but im not going into that... on an interesting sidenote (well i think so anyways), cracking encryption methods actually played an important role in WWII...the germans encrypted their communications transmissions in a way that they thought was impossible to decrypt...well, the british cracked the germans encryption and as a result knew where the germans were heading and what their battle plans were throughout the war...the british were careful not to let on to the germans that they had cracked their encryption by not appearing too prepared for their attacks...i guess there is a book called "the codebrakers" which details all of this if you are interested... soccer watch the usa vs china womens soccer world cup final?...good game except they played for 2hrs and no one scored...soccer is weird like that...so as a last resort they decided the winner by doing penalty shots...this is unfortunate because penalty shots in soccer just involve a lot of luck, the goalie usually just guesses which side the player will shoot to and jumps in that direction because there isnt much time to react...so, the usa team ended up winning over china because the usa goalie blocked one of the chinese penalty shots...now, wouldnt it suck to be that one woman on the chinese team who missed the penalty shot?...oh well, everyone cant go away happy...unless they gave away free ice cream to everyone after the game...but even then the lactose intolerant people would go home pissed...

[ 7 / 0 9 / 9 9 ]

85% of all statistics are made up. other you know how when you were a kid and you didnt finish everything on your plate and proceded to throw it away youd sometimes get reminded about how in some countries the people are starving to death?...guilt trips are great, but does this one really make sense?...in some countries they think cows are holy, does this mean that i should go to farms and have sex with cows?...because i do already and i would love to have a valid excuse for it...ok, that did not go in the direction i intended, lets try this again...in some countries they think cows are holy, does that mean i should feel bad about eating beef?...because i do already and i would love to have a valid excuse for it...but are other countries problems/practices really applicable to our daily lives?...maybe, maybe not, but i think the overall message of the guilt trip is good, don't be wasteful and be thankful for what you have...wasteful is realitive of course...if youre living in the u.s. and you use a gallon of water to wash your hands cos they smell funny that would probably be fine because in most places in the u.s., water is a seemingly unlimited resource...but, if you are deep in the sahara dessert and you use a gallon of water to wash your hands you might be killed by the natives...and in the future, dont stick your hands down your pants so much and i dont think youll have to worry about it...so is it bad that we waste tons of food in the u.s.?...yeah, its terrible, and its all your fault...you didnt finish your green beans that one time...what kind of an example are you setting for the rest of us?...but seriously, our society just doesnt worry about wasted food much because food is so plentiful...we worry about different stuff...no matter what society youre in theres stuff that you waste, theres stuff that you value, stuff that you dont have enough of, stuff you eat and then wish you hadnt...just a bunch of stuff...stuffs importance in a society depends largely upon the natural resources of that country... i went out to lunch today and the waitress for the table next to us dropped a big ass tray of drinks...that would suck...and i totally didnt mean to push her...that was an accident...no i didnt touch her...i mean i touched her, but i didnt push her...no seriously, i dont believe in touching people...im too tired to go on right now...

[ 7 / 0 4 / 9 9 ]

who knows i watched this HBO documentary which followed a convicted murderer to his death by injection...the family of the two victims who were murdered requested to witness the execution...the murderers last words were something like 'i believe that jesus christ is my lord and savior and that i have been forgiven...killing me isnt going to fix anything and i dont think it is right for the family to watch my death.....im ready'...ok, so here's the situation...the murderer regrets what he has done and feels that the lord has forgiven him and that he will be going to heaven...the prison warden who is a man of god feels that the murderer will go to heaven also and prayed with him...the family of the victims, well, they feel the murderer is not regretful and will go to hell...i found this to be interesting, who knows?...how much sense would it make to execute the murderer and send him to heaven while the family of the victims live out the rest of their lives with the incredible loss that this murderer created?...and lets say this murderer does make it into heaven...do others in heaven know about what he did during his life?...does he remember what he did on during his life?...would it matter anymore?...wouldnt you be pissed if some guy made it into heaven after he killed 2 innocent people?...will the 2 innocent people be there in heaven with him?...will they say hi to each other if they meet or stare at the ground as they pass and pretend not to notice each other...i can see it "hey...you look familiar...arent you the one i killed?...i shot you in the head and watched you bleed all over the floor...remember that...i killed you for no reason...gosh, that seems like such a long time ago now...how are you doing?"...religion may answer a few questions like 'how did we get here?', 'why are we here?', and 'where do we go when we die?', but it also creates a slew of new questions if you ever bother to think about it in depth...religious people dont like to think too hard tho, they just like to 'trust in god'...they obviously dont trust him too much tho if they continuously have to pray to him...god, do this for me please...dont forget this...make it happen this way god...please god...back to the execution, the family of the victims were happy that the killer of their kids was dead and they were happy that they watched it happen...they felt as if an incredible weight had been lifted from their shoulders... Jackie responds You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, "Do not murder, and anyone who does will be subject to judgement." But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgement. Mt 5:21-22 i respond so murderers will be subject to judgement?...isnt EVERYONE subject to judgement anyways?...so that statement really doesnt say anything about the penalty for murdering does it...not sure what you are saying with your second statement...are people not allowed to feel anger?...i definitely do get angry about things i see and if you dont you should get some help...maybe this is kinda like the "im not better than you, im different in a good way" thing like you dont get angry, you just get emotionally distraught or something...people do bad things, why should it not anger us?...isnt anger often our motivation to try and change something we dont like?...the problem is not anger, anger is a necessary thing, the problem is how people deal with anger...

[ 6 / 2 7 / 9 9 ]

[ m e e t i n g ] i noticed you you noticed me?? yeah...i was sitting over there...and i noticed you... what did you notice about me? ...i noticed...that i noticed you...i couldnt stop noticing you... oh yeah?....hmmm... you are thinking?... i guess... i hate this what? ...i dont know...not knowing what to say...not knowing what to do... just be yourself my self would be at that table over there just sitting and minding my own business...my self would never be over here...im not me right now...im someone else... who are you? who do you want me to be? whoever you are... that is who i am who? what? ...i noticed you you saw me? yeah...i saw you...you were...you...you were you...hi you...who are you?...i mean when you were over there, who were you?... over there i was no one...thats why i came over here...hi... hi... im noticing you...i saw you...im seeing you....youre you... yeah...im me...you dont have to be anyone...or say anything...you can just sit...we can just sit...i was just sitting... i was just sitting...that was me...until i noticed you... then you changed... yeah...i changed...i like this...what is this?...what am i doing?... being indirect...indecisive...indifferent...something like that... does that work? not usually... what about direct? not usually... so what are you saying, its not what you do its how you do it?...or nothing works?...at least when youre indirect you are less likely to force someone into something they dont want to do... how is this going to end? i havent even thought about the ending yet... then why did you come over here?...you must have had an ending in mind? youre asking me to be direct? i was just asking a question... are you hungry? no need to go to the grocery store for anything? no you have milk? yeah... what are you doing later? nothing... would you like to do something? i might... i actually like your plans...i would like to do nothing...i mean i cant think of anything to do...what is there to do? theres always stuff to do.. you sound like my mom when i was a kid and id be like "theres nothing to eat in this house" and she'd be like "nonsense, theres tons of stuff to eat...theres lettuce...cheese...bread...water..."... did she have milk? usually... you could have drank milk... yeah, but what if i just got done drinking a glass of milk?...you think i should just drink another?...maybe i wanted something different... you dont like milk? i like milk... but you only drink one glass? usually, unless im eating something...i dont just drink the whole carton at once...there are other people who rely on that milk you know... sometimes you have to put your own needs in front of others... i have thought about you so much... youve never even met me youre not even you yet, youre who i think you are...i have always known you...you have always been right here, in my mind...ive just been waiting for the meeting im the one?...we are going to leave here and live happily ever after?... i never think that far ahead...i dont even want to leave...why does there have to be an ending?...right now is good...if i get to know you any better i may find something i dont like...now you are just blank...i fill you in with whatever i want...

[ 6 / 2 7 / 9 9 ]

my mom just got a computer...pretty soon she will be hooked up to the net and be able to access this page...so, its time to do a little cleaning up...you can help me by emailing me the address of any of my pages that have a swear word on them or talk about something inappropriate...when my grandma gets a computer and gets on the net i will have to change the site content to gardening and sewing only...you probably dont know this, but i can sew like a mother fucker...so dont worry, the site may change a bit but it will still be around... my cousin jackie is studying writing in college and she went and taught some kids for a day and she said she taught them that 'you have to write about what you know'...and i was like hmm, thats a pretty redundant thing to teach, of course you write about what you know, how could you write about what you dont know?...as redundant as the observation may be, it is an important one to make for any writer...before you can write about anything you need to have something to write about and that means you have to know about it...so, if you want to have something to write about you need to go out and experience things and observe things...that is where your inspiration comes from...so why i am talking about this and not telling you something useful like how to make a crack pipe out of a 20oz coke bottle and a mcdonalds straw?...because, you guys smoke too much crack as it is, why else would you be here reading this?...no, but sometimes i want to write, but i just cant, i dont have anything to write about...i need inspiration...

[ 6 / 2 2 / 9 9 ]

t h e b i k e well, bought a mountain bike today...if you want to see it then click here...i ended up not getting any of the ones i mentioned before, but instead a bike made by K2 who also makes skis...i took it for a ride earlier and lets just say im still bleeding...ok, ill say more...i was riding across the barton dam on a walkway and at the end of the walkway there is a 2-3 foot drop off..so having a bike with suspension has given me new confidence about getting air, confidence that was shattered when i got too much air on my old bike and caused my front tire to bend into the shape of a potato chip when i landed which caused me to fly over the handle bars and land on my head...so im riding across the dam walkway and im changing my mind every 2 feet about whether or not im gonna jump the drop off at the end and when im about 10 ft away i decide to jump it so i start pedaling and i fly off the drop off but when i land my left foot slips off the pedal and the pedal scrapes the skin off my shin...i look down at my pedal and there is a chunk of skin hanging from it...if you want so see the chunk of skin then click here...so, that caused a fair amount of bleeding but now im all bandaged up and ok...the bike handled the landing great and i am really impressed with it over all, the full suspension allows you to fly downhill even on rough terrain... so, now ive got to go to school and do some work...see ya...

[ 6 / 2 0 / 9 9 ]

New! Version 1.1 you guys probably think that i just write this shit in 5 minutes and post it, and yeah, judging by the quality of it that would be consistent...but, in reality, i probably read everything 100 times before i post it here, each time making changes, additions, or deletions...well, today i posted the whatever and later i thought of something i wanted to add to it so i had to upgrade the whatever to 1.1...this change is so small that most of you probably wont even notice, but since im here ill add some other stuff too... Paintballin' today i went paintballing with a christian youth group cos my step brother is the director of the group and he asked me to come along...let me tell you, there is no greater joy than to shoot up a bunch of little christians...id yell things like "wheres jesus now bitch?" or "prayers arent going to save your ass now jesus boy" or "this ones for killing the native americans you christian bastard" before id kill them....just kidding...i love christians, just ask jackie...in one of the paintball games, i was running from the other team because they had me outnumbered like 5 to 1... so i retreat and find a safe place and then *bam* i get shot in the back...not by the other team, but by a christian on my own team...that is just like a christian...i was like "we're on the same team man, what are you doing?"...and he replied "dude, im a christian, it was an accident and god has forgiven me, dont worry about it"...and im like "im not worried about it, im dead...you killed me..."...he's like "doesnt matter dude, im a christian, im forgiven"...and im like "how does that help me?"...and hes like "well dude, it doesnt really, and since youre not a christian youre going to hell"...and im like "but you killed me, shouldnt you be going to hell?..thou shalt not kill?"...and hes like "lars, everybody who is reading this knows that you are making it up, but thats not the worst part, the worst part is thats its not funny, its stupid...the more you drag it out, the more stupid it gets"...so im like "hey man, what are you doing? shut up, i thought we had a deal...you were just supposed to act stupid so that when people read this they would make sweeping negative generalizations about all christians..."...so he says "dude, youre not supposed to judge christianity by its followers, we are only human and prone to sin...judge christianity by christ only.."....so im like "ok man, now youve totally screwed this up..."...it is kind of odd that the perpetrators of a sin get to be forgiven but the victims of the sin get nothing and are forced to live by the consequences...i think that i could have thought of a better system...unfortunately, god thinks he is too high and mighty to take advice from me, he thinks he knows everything...well, god, tell me what number im thinking of in my head right now?...huh?...no response?...could that be because you dont know?...i guess you dont know everything now do you...well, back to paintballing, it actually was not a church sanctioned event because i guess one member of the church thinks paintballing teaches kids how to be mass murderers, or at least encourages them to be violent, so therefore is sinful...i dont know about that, but ill tell you what it does teach you, it teaches you about teamwork and looking out for others...it also gives you a taste of how chaotic war is and how little of a difference one person can make...there are no rambos in real life who can run around taking out 100 people and not get hurt...you stand up, you are vulnerable, you get shot...you die...youre dead...anyways, i had fun, and i dont thnk any of the kids i went with are going to start killing people...but if you want to protect yourself from paintballers turned murderers then put a red armband around one of your arms and when they start shooting at you yell "same team! same team!"...if the guy who is shooting at you has a yellow armband on, well, youre screwed... in all seriousness, i dont catagorize people by their religion, i dont care what religion people are, i care about who people are...are they nice? are they assholes? are they thoughtful? are they selfish? do they give me money?...those kind of things...so please dont take my christian bashing too seriously, i bash all people...even you, your haircut makes you look stupid...and that shirt, which homeless guy did you steal it from?...bashing other people makes me feel better about myself...sure, i could deal with my insecurity another way, but this is more fun...oh, and jackie, i hope you dont feel the need to write me an email about how great jesus, god, and christianity are...just be happy i updated the whatever page... Jackie speaks: "i played paintball once, at a bible camp. they had it on their camp grounds and owned their own guns... i think you have a view of Chrisitans that they're not real people, i'm human like you. i struggle in life, and sure i screwed up bad, still do now. i'm not any better than you, no- i'm just different... different in a good way though- it's too bad you really didn't hand out with a Christian youth group, maybe you'd find out we're just normal people..." I reply: heres my favorite quote: "im not any better than you...im different in a good way" but anyways, didnt you read the second paragraph?...of course i think of christians as people, the whole 'referring to them as christians' was a joke...i think everyone i know is religous, i dont care, its not something i ever think about, they just are who they are...and yeah, i have hung out with a christian group, an organization called "young life"...nice people, but when they started talking about how jesus and god have helped them i just couldnt identify with that...but, they gave out free cookies so i kept going anyways... Tonight ok, so i went downtown to eat tonight at like 12:30am (yeah, ive got a strange schedule)...so im walking by this restaraunt/bar that has outdoor seating and these women start yelling at me like "hey...hey you" so im like "what?"...and theyre like "hi...whats your name?...come on over here", but theres a fence seperating us so theyre like "come on...hop the fence...we'll buy you a drink...we're rich women...come on, we're just trying to have a little fun..."...so i just kinda stand there in shock thinking what the hell is going on here...eventually the 2 most vocal ones got up and went to the bathroom (whats up with women going to the bathroom in pairs?) so i tell the others bye, im going to eat dinner...so im eating dinner and im like hmmm...free drink, why not?...so curiousity killed the cat and it kills me too, so i walk past the restaraunt again and theyre like "hey lars...hey...come on...hop the fence, we're just having some fun.."...(by the way, they were obviously drunk and joked a lot)...so im like ok and i hop the fence and sit down with them and they give me a few drinks and they ask me questions and i lie to them to make myself look better...but seriously, turns out that they are a bunch of nurses that used to work together in ann arbor but now live in different cities and were having a reunion tonight...so they were actually really nice and i found out that i went to the same elementary/middle/high school as one of them and lived only a few blocks away from where she grew up...this is where i say 'small world', but its really not a small world, its incredibly big...yeah, so anyways, theres no climax to this story, we just talked for awhile and then went our separate ways...in elementary school i was taught to never talk to strangers but i think its kinda interesting...i like to meet people...i should hop more fences...

[ 6 / 1 8 / 9 9 ]

ok, so im driving in this car with this girl and shes like "j has a lead foot"...and i recall observing that one of j's shoes had like a 6 inch sole...so im like "oh...really?....hmmm"...i take her all literally...but she wasnt being literal, she was referring to how j drives so fast...you know, lead feet are heavy, tend to push the gas pedal down a little too much...j's foot is not actually made of lead tho, i guess one of her legs is just shorter than the other so she has to have one shoe with a big sole...one of her arms didnt work too well either...i wonder what happened...felica, now there was a girl...she seemed nice...to look at...what is she like tho...and that girl at the table across, what was she like?...did she notice me?...i notice everyone...i just pretend not to...i noticed you..i saw you, im seeing you..youre there..here..hi..i see you...youre you...who are you?...hi...how could she not be self concious?....why am i so self concious?...the conciousness should be good, just the reaction perhaps not...but if you are concious of something how can you not react...is not reacting a reaction...can i react by not reacting?...if so, then is it possible to not react?...am i not reacting to the car parked on the street that i have no knowledge of?...i guess every reaction has to have a cause?...but does every cause have to have a reaction?...only if we considered no reaction a reaction...unless a cause isnt a cause unless it causes a reaction...can i not react to nothing?...what am i reacting to when im not reacting to something?... im gonna buy a new bike, looking at the raleigh m7000, the diamondback X2, and the Gary Fisher Joshua F4...today i got a flat when i was over 3 miles from home, had to jog back...second time thats happened this year, kinda annoying...

[ 6 / 0 7 / 9 9 ]

T o d a y today was a good day...actually my whole weekend was pretty good...today it was really hot, like 98 degrees...i dont really like the heat but i decided to go mountain biking along the river...it was hot, when the wind blew it didnt cool you off, it made you feel like you were standing in front of a heater...but didnt i just say i was riding along a river?...i think i did...and you and i both know that even when the air temperature is high the water temperature is nice and cool...so, even tho the huron river has 7 times the contaminants allowed in swimming water, it felt extremely good to jump in and cool off...there are numerous bridges to jump off of and also theres the moss slide at argo park...the moss slide is just a slab of concrete with moss on it that the water runs down but its better than any waterslide youll find at a swimming pool cos theres no one there telling you you cant go down standing up or you cant walk back up the waterslide...its fun, quite a few people were out there today...lots of bridge jumpers were out today too...i had forgotten how much fun it is to jump off bridges...not sure how high they are but you definitely get more freefall than at a swimming pools "high dive"...i love water, it is so refreshing...thats why i drink "Mountain Springs" bottled water...it keeps me refreshed all day long...look for "Mountain Springs" bottled water at a grocery store near you so you can feel refreshed too...did i mention ill be doing advertisements here now?...you probably wont even notice because i work them in so inconspicuously...and if you want something else thats inconspicuous, try "Natural Earth" hair color to get that natural looking hair color you have always wanted...use "Natural's" hair coloring and you will honestly be able to say "Yes, its Natural" if anyone asks about your hair color...get "Natural Earth" products at a beauty salon near you and create the new you...ok seriously, back to what i was saying...i love the water...its a great escape from the heat and its cool to be able to jump from real high and not get hurt when you land...unless you land on your back or something...id like to go to hawaii and jump from some waterfalls...surfing would be another cool water sport ive never tried... Y e s t e r d a y in relation to yesterdays topic, i thought of another example of people who refer to inanimate objects as women...pirates...arrgh, this is me impression of a pirate matey...thar she blows matey...shiver me timbers matey...you need to get port side of her matey...arrghh matey...arrgh, can i stop me impression of a pirate matey?..arrrgggh...now you feel like talking like a pirate too dont you?...well matey, next time youre in your car and someone cuts you off dont say "that damn asshole cut me off" but instead put on your pirate voice and say "arrrgh matey you cuts me off...arrrrgh, port side has the right of way matey...arrrgh." and try to tell me you didnt enjoy it...arrggh...and when youre at a restaurant say "arrrrgh matey, we'll have the fish and chips for two..arrgh"..."sir, this is McDonalds, we dont have fish and chips"...."arrrgh...what kind of restaraunt dont have me fish and chips matey?"..."sir, i can give you a McFish McSandwich and some McFries"...."McArrghh..."....those were just a few instances of where you can use your pirate voice...if youd like to learn more about using your pirate voice then check out David Pitchfords book entitled "The Pirate Voice Inside Us", available at your local bookstore for a suggested retail price of $9.95...pick up your copy today... Album reviews... (Cranberries) bury the hatchet grade: C comments: their best album was "No need to argue", the rest, like this one, are pretty mediocre (Hole) celebrity skin grade: C- comments: what was i thinking (Sponge) rotting pinata grade: B+ comments: ugly cover art (Sponge) new pop sunday grade: B comments: uglier cover art than "rotting pinata" (Silverchair) neon ball room grade: C comments: lots of extremely slow songs..thatd be ok if they were good... (Afghan Whigs) 1965 grade: A comments: cool mixture of rock, soul, and rythm

[ 6 / 0 6 / 9 9 ]

Another movie review for you i went and saw entrapment today...good movie...it had an interesting and unpredictable plot, especially at the end, and some cool high profile buglar action...rachel wouldnt have liked the movie because they paired up an old guy (sean connery) with a much younger woman (the beautiful and talented catherine zeta-jones)...i personally didnt have a problem with this because i am not as shallow as rachel...i think 2 people can fall in love regardless of their age, physical apearance, race, or the number of cavities they have...just joking, rachel isnt shallow, shes deep...i cant tell you how deep but let me just say there are no "no diving" signs...and if her water looks a little yellow its because people keep pissing in it...you like symbolism dont you?...well you wont find any here, rachel is a simming pool...you know how guys in the army give their planes female names and then refer to them like "yeah i was flying over tralmalfadore when she lost one of her engines and i had to make a crash landing with her"...well, thats what i do with swimming pools, i give them female names and refer to them like they are women "yeah, i was doing a cannonball into her when i realized she didnt have any water in her...she didnt like that and i felt it"...actually, i refer to all things like they are women "yeah, my glass is empty, could you fill her up?" or "you have a beautiful house, how much did you pay for her?"...back to rachels views on movies, she just doesnt like how its socially acceptable for an old guy actor to be with a young girl actress but not the other way around...i think it has to do with how women and men value different characteristics...men value youthful, healthy women because at mans most primative level all he wants to do is find a healthy mate so he can impregnate her and spread his genetics....women, since they are the ones stuck with the pregnancy dont want a man thats just gonna impregnate them and leave...they want someone who will be a provider and protector for them...this is why women are more likely to be with an older man than men are to be with an older woman...women like older men cos they are more experienced and should be better at being a provider and protector...i realize i am talking in generalizations here and also that i am talking about people at a more basic level than we live at today but this is my page so i can do whatever i want with her...yes, civilized men and women have advanced beyond acting soley on our primative instincts but they are still with us and influence us...

[ 6 / 0 5 / 9 9 ]

helplessness heres a funny story...kinda...well not really...but, in the summer i often house sit for people...i stay in their home while they are on vacation and feed their dog, bring in the mail, etc...ok so im house sitting at this one place on this one night and im getting ready for bed and i remember that i need to water the roses...so, i go out the sliding door and close it behind me and ut oh, the security bar falls down, locking me out...oh shit...please say there is another door open...so i run around the house checking all windows and doors only to find they are all locked....so heres the situation: its about 11pm, im locked out, im wearing only my boxers, my car keys are inside, the phone number of the woman who has the extra house key is inside, and my own house is miles away...i panic for awhile trying to think of a way out of it...i figure that im gonna have to somehow call my sister who could give me the phone number of the person with the spare key because they used to work together...i decide the best thing to do is go next door and ask to use their phone...but in my boxers? at 11 o'clock at night?...that would be uncomfortable...so, i crawl thru the doggy door to get into the garage and start looking for stuff to wear...luckily i find a sports jacket and some old work pants...i put them on and look retarded and go next door and ring the door bell....a woman hesitatingly opens the door and asks me who i am...i tell her the situation and she gives me a little quiz to make sure i am who i am and then she graciously lets me in...i call my sister who gives me the phone number and i call the spare key woman and she comes over and everything is ok....but, what would i have done if i didnt have my sister to call for the phone number?... t h e . m a t r i x i went and saw the matrix yesterday...pretty good movie based on an incredibly cool/interesting/thought provoking concept...i say only "pretty good" for the overall movie because i thought it kinda dragged at the beginning and the end...and because there was no nudity...no just kidding...anyways, the basis of the movie is that artificial intelligence takes over the earth and they force all humans to live thru the matrix (a computer system) rather than the physical world...this raises the question of is a computer generated reality a valid reality?...what defines reality?...is a life in the matrix meaningless just because it does not take place in the physical world?...hmmm...another concept that was briefly introduced is the idea of humans being a virus...unlike every other animal on the planet, humans dont reach an equilibrium with their environment...we just keep expanding and expanding until we destroy our environment and eventually ourselves...just like a virus...

[ 6 / 0 1 / 9 9 ]

Here's a test for you, i recieved the following email today, you tell me if its real or fake: Hello: We here at Miller Brewing Company, Inc. would like to help bring in the new millennium for everyone. We like to think of ourselves as a progressive company, keeping up with our customers. We have found the best way to do this via the Internet and email. Combining these things, we would like to make a special offer to our valued customers: If this email makes it to 2,000,000 people by 12:00 PM on New Year's Eve of 1999, we will send a coupon for one six-pack of any of our Miller Brand beverages. In the event that 2,000,000 people are reached, our tracker/counter, embedded in this message, will report to us with the list of names and email addresses. Thereafter, each email address will be sent an electronic coupon which you can print out and redeem at any Miller Brand beverage carrying store. The coupons will be sent as soon as 2,000,000 people are reached, so the sooner, the better. Enjoy, and Cheers, Gary D. Anderson, Chief Marketing Director Miller Brewing Company, Inc. http://www.millerbrewing.com Here's another one for you, what should Ms. Zajechowski do? Ms. Zajechowski, Thank You for the email. We at randomSPACE appreciate each and every individual in our audience. We work very hard to bring you a little entertainment with our randomSPACE website. Our devotion takes time though, and time is money. As I am sure you noticed, there are no advertisements at randomSPACE; this is why we need you, a loyal viewer, to help us out. Please take this time to make a monetary contribution to randomSPACE so that we can keep it online and you can keep enjoying it. Please send me money now and then forward this email to all of your friends if you have any...it doesnt matter if they have never been to or heard of randomSPACE as long they are rich, generous, and gullible... Thank You, Lars Jensen - randomSPACE Inc., President Send Cash To: P.O. Box 8347 Ann Arbor, Mi 48103 ANSWERS: (hold upside down to read) ok, the first one is obviously fake...you think Miller is going to send out 2 million electronic coupons for free 6-packs?...you think Miller could even figure out who this email is forwarded to and how many people it has been forwarded to?...dont think so, this is just another case of someone trying to fool people into spreading this hoax around...Now, the second email looks pretty legitimate to me...the last line is a bit suspect, but seeing how there are no advertisements, it does seem reasonable that the randomSPACE site would need money to cover operating fees...i would recommend that Ms. Zajechowski, and you viewers at home, send me, uh i mean randomSPACE money...

[ 5 / 2 9 / 9 9 ]

i cant think of anything to write about so here's another email...background: i wrote this girl melissa an email and then hit ctrl+c instead of ctrl+x which deleted the email instead of sending it like i wanted...so, that sucked...after breaking a few things and waiting a few days i rewrote it...all you need to know to understand it is that CAEN stands for the "compuer aided engineering network" at UofM where me and melissa were working at the time... I could tell that you were a little choked up at work about the email that you never got...so, this is a mental copy of the email i deleted instead of sending, now you know when you make copies with a copier the copies are always a bit distorted compared to the originals... this is no different...or is it?.. giving me your email address may be one of the biggest mistakes you've ever made... almost as bad as you going in the 15 items or less lane with 16 items...i know that a 6 pack doesnt count as 6 items, but 2 things of yogurt do not count as one, even if they are the same kind...maybe you went into the lane with 15 items and then you saw a candy bar that looked good or pack of gum and added it to your pile, nope, sorry, cant do that...what i usually recommend to people is that they never go into the 15 items or less lane unless they have only 14 items, this gives them a little leeway...so, you made a mistake, thats ok, i wont hold it against you...it happens to everyone...like me, i think i made a lot of mistakes on my probability test...the only probability i can seem to figure out is the probability that i will fail the class, and its pretty high...probability is a brick and im drowning slowly... thats why im dropping out of college...ive got a job at McDonalds all lined up, and my parents said i can live in their basement till im 42...ok...you come to the Mcdonalds im working at and i wont charge you for the food...that way you can slip me the money on the side and i can pocket it for myself...actually, i dont recommend that you ever go to McDonalds... unless you want to play in the balls...here, let me ask you a computer question so you can charge this time to CAEN: if my moms uncles brothers sisters moms dads sons daughter has 12 kids, how many brothers do i have?....wait second, that wasnt about computers...oh well, i wont tell anyone if you dont... here, this is all im trying to say, if youre nice to me(and im not saying you havent been, cos you have...everyone i have met at UofM has been really nice...ok, i have a problem with putting too much text in parens...you better go back and re-read this sentence except skip everything in parens this time....and next time you get an email from me and you see parens, just skip them completely, it may sound harsh, but this is ridiculous, parens are not made to handle this amount of writing) i will remember this...and when i am president of Intel, i will get you a job...sweeping floors...making at least what you make at CAEN...well, i might pay you less, but the benefits would be real good...like you could use the bathrooms for free...only on your lunch break of course...which would be 15 minutes, so i hope you can eat fast...hey, what the hell are you doing?...quit reading email and get back to work, my trash can needs emptying...ah just kidding...im going to be nice to you so you will let me clean your office when you get one...but if you only pay me what i make at CAEN, i will be forced to steal shit out of your drawers...sorry...i wouldnt steal anything of sentimental value tho...well, i might, but id replace it with a fake one...so you'd never know...until you picked it up...or looked at it... you'd think that with this amount of writing i could have said something meaningful... but i havent... the Gettysburg address was just 5,647 words and the Constitution only 3,457 words, this email is 102,306 words, and yet i have not accomplished a fraction of what those other documents did...and you may wonder why...and i am just going to tell you what so many of your professors have probably told you before that made you want to kill them...well Melissa, i know the answer to that question, but i want you to think about it and figure it out yourself...do you have to go to class?...got homework to do?...dont let me keep you from it...ok, so this is not the same email i sent you initially, that one is lost forever...stop crying you are embarassing me...ok, i better go and let you go...is this strange?...it might be i dont really know what it is, but i'd like to know if you would tell me... ive got to go to the laundromat now cos i just found out the dryer is broken a little too late...later

[ 5 / 2 8 / 9 9 ]

Muscians that should have paid attention in highschool theres this song by the new radicals called "someday we'll know" that goes like: Someday we'll know If love can move a mountain Someday we'll know Why the sky is blue Someday we'll know Why I wasn't meant for you well, id just like to point out that we already know why the sky is blue...i learned it in 10th grade physics, its cos of the way light from the sun scatters when it hits the particles in the earths atmosphere...and love cant move a mountain, the only thing i can think of that could move a mountain is a large amount of explosives...but that wouldnt move the mountain in one piece and im not sure if thats what he was after...ill have to contact him to see exactly which mountain it was that he wanted to move and if he needs the mountain to be in one piece or what....oh yeah, and i dont know why he wasnt meant for you...i guess you two just arent compatible... Ketchup packets these things suck...there is no need for the fast food places to hide these things behind the counter like people want to steal them...yeah, i want to spend 10 minutes every meal squeezing ketchup out of little packets so i can save $1 a month by not having to buy ketchup...when you buy fries at a fast food place you should get a little thing of ketchup like those little containers of sauce you get with chicken nuggets...fast food places should still give out the ketchup packets so that we can have hours of fun putting them under peoples tires so that when they drive away they run over the ketchup packets causing them to splatter all over...if youve ever had this happen to you, it wasnt me...there are lots of people who do this and a lot of them happen to look like me...so, you better get your facts straight before you start accusing me of things...

[ 5 / 2 2 / 9 9 ]

the following is part of an email i sent to my sister after she came back from colorado and said michigan sucked...so often i think we tell ourselves "oh ill be happy once i get this" or "ill be happier once i get to this point in my life"...then we get that thing or get to that point in our life or whatever and we find out that things are just the same as theyve always been...the following has nothing to do with this...im just saying... Michigan does not suck, and quit complaining about the weather, that is what old people do, you have more important things to worry about.......there are plenty of things you can do in Michigan, you have a river 300 ft. from you that you could canoe in, and if you are crazy like me you can swim in it too, there are beautiful sand dunes 3 hrs away, hiking at Silver Lake along the potowannabe trail, must I go on?.....why do you never do these things?, well, because you live here, if you vacationed here you might think it is a nice place.....yeah, Colorado is better, but Michigan is pretty damn nice too, the world is a beautiful place....you know when you find something that you think is so perfect that you want to be insured that you will never lose it, like if it is a pair of shoes you want to buy 2 pair so that when one pair wears out you will still have another.....and then 10 years later you find a picture of yourself wearing those shoes and you think, what the fuck was I thinking when I bought those shoes?.....cos since then you have bought 23 pairs of shoes which you like 46 times better than those, and I guess if you get better and better at buying shoes with time, you will be about perfect at it by the time you are ready to die, but I am going to dig your body up 10 years after you are buried just so I can laugh at your stupid shoes that you were buried in that you liked so much that you would hate so much if you were still alive....I am going to be buried barefooted, so don't even think about it, because you would probably end up stealing my watch while you were laughing at my shoes....and hey, I would have given you that watch if you had just asked.....why didn't you just ask?....or maybe you meet some guy(girl for me) that you think is so great and you don't know what you would do if you ever lost them but a year later you are wishing that you had encouraged him to drink and drive instead of discouraging him so that he would be dead now.....and at one time I think there was a point to this....and I think I have just remembered it....throughout life, your likes and dislikes change, sometimes you find things(like Colorado) that you think are so damn great and will make you happy, but just live there for awhile and maybe you won't have the weather to complain about, but you will find something, like maybe all the damn tourists who get in your damn way on their way to hiking, biking and rafting, things you havent done since 2 weeks after you got there...so quit your god damn complaining and get on with your life, I am sure that you will fall in love with Denmark when you go there too, but let me tell you something, that is not love, that is lust, you don't care about Denmark or Colorado, YOU just care about YOU living there....damn selfish Americans...just never happy...I want this I want that.....did the Native Americans complain about the weather or where they lived?.....I dont think so...the problem is that it has gotten too easy to travel the world, now instead of being grateful for what we have we are pissed about what we dont have, if the Chipawah Indains had taken a trip to Hawaii they probably would be pissed that god(or whatever they believed in) had put them in Michigan too..... my sister is now happily residing in the state of colorado.

[ 5 / 2 1 / 9 9 ]

alright, pop quiz hot shot...youre sitting in your car at an idle and you notice your tempurature gauge says your engine is close to overheating, what do you do?...what DO yOu DO? a) pull over and turn off your car as soon as possible so it can cool down b) rev the engine c) ditch the car and steal yourself another one that doesnt have problems with the coolant system the answer is actually b)...by revving the engine you increase the circulation of the coolant system and therefore its effectiveness at cooling your engine Getting amusement from the less informed- if you ever get an email like the following, theres a pretty good chance you can disregard it as bs: Subject: URGENT, READ NOW!! This is from a friend of mine who is a Guide for AOL, and I’d trust her with my life, and even my computer! Anyway, if she says it’s genuine... it IS. Bobbi- Ok this is extremley important. There is an exec going around called Funprog.exec it contains the CIH virus. If you receive it DO NOT DOWNLOAD IT. But here is the worst part of it. This virus is being sent out from names you know. Somehow they found a way to use other peoples screen names and send out mail. If you are an aol user and you get mail from anyone on aol including me that says @aol.com after the screen name DO NOT DOWNLOAD that piece of mail. It will not be from that person that you think is sending it to you. AOL is very aware of what is going on right now. please do not download anything. I rather all of us be safe than sorry, until aol fixes this problem. Please foward this letter to all your friends....... why? windows would not execute a file called "Funprog.exec" because *.exec is not a windows executable file type "AOL is very aware of what is going on right now" - the author doesnt want you to think you need to contact AOL because then youd find out its a hoax basically its telling you not to accept any email from anyone using AOL which makes no sense...the harm is never in downloading an infected file, but in executing one "Please foward this letter to all your friends" - here is the authors motive, they want to see how many people they can fool into emailing this hoax to other people...this is why you see the emphasis like "URGENT" and "extremely important"...basically it is an email aimed at tricking the computer illiterate into not accepting email from AOL people and to send this email on so that it can spread around to everyone..AOL is targetted because most people on AOL dont know a damn thing about computers and the 3L173 hax0rs like to mess with them for fun...even if it were legitimate, warnings like these are pretty pointless cos it is never a good idea to run an exe from an unknown source, and if you want to be safe you should virus scan any *.exe, *.doc or *.xls before you run/open it on your computer... id also like to point out what bad english this email uses...

[ 5 / 1 7 / 9 9 ]

i think it is important for people to realize how much of their perception of the outside world is shaped by the media and to question whether or not we should be forming our opinions on our surroundings based on what we see on the nightly news....a lot of terrible things happen every day and the media can only report on so much of it...whatever the media focuses on will also be focused on by our society...for instance, if the media decided to report on every racially motivated crime then society would probably form the opinion that racism is a big problem...but, if the media were to ignore racially motivated crimes we would have no reason to believe racism is a problem in our society unless we witnessed it first hand...by watching recent media coverage one might be led to believe that violent crime is at an all time high and teen violence is getting out of hand....but what is the reality? "According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation's Uniform Crime Reports,-- the crime index rate fell for the 6th straight year in 1997, and is down almost 17% from the rate of 1991. (The UCR crime index includes seven offenses: homicide, forcible rape, robbery, aggravated assault, burglary, larceny-theft, and motor vehicle theft)" it is very hard (perhaps impossible) to get unbiased information and most people dont have the time or the patience to even try...what this does is give the media a lot of power over how we view the world outside of us... society is now searching for something they can blame violence on but there are so many variables in our society that it is really impossible to link violence to any specific aspect of it...many studies have been done trying to link video games, violent tv, unemployment and poverty to crime without any convincing results...some day people may be forced to realize that it is not music, games, or movies that are making us violent, we are violent by nature...some of us more so than others, there will always be people who are mentally sick who will carry out violent crimes...im not saying we should just accept violence and just say oh yeah, whatever, it happens...but lets place the blame where it belongs, on the people...if we wanted to track down the cause of violence i think we'd make more progress analyzing the biology of the human brain rather than trying to analyze society as a whole... "There are some grave moral issues here that need to be dealt with, and the last thing we want is to get the government involved."

[ 5 / 1 5 / 9 9 ]

i have to tell you guys something...i am one with the devil and this website is my empire of darkness and evil...i tried to hide it from you but my born again christian cousin found me out...what tipped her off? well, i listen to marilyn manson...pretty stupid of me to admit this, i mean, if youre running a crack house you dont put a sign out front...that would reduce the poperty value of the surrounding homes, lets be thoughtful of our neighbors...even if they do borrow your stuff and never return it....in june 1996 i sold my soul to the devil for $10...i tried to price it at $14.99 but the devil is a stiff bargainer and he happend to have a 30% off coupon valid for the month of june, who would have thought...i even tried to throw in a free water bottle made of unbreakable plastic with a bendable straw and spill-proof top normally worth $35 (prices may vary, some restrictions do apply, offer only valid in 49 states, sorry nebraska) or let him pay in 3 easy installments of $4.99 but he still wouldnt go for the $14.99...maybe i should have thrown in a coffee grinder, damn, hindsight is 20/20...anyways, ever since june 1996 i have been regularly sacrificing chickens and any other small animals i can get my hands on...please dont tell my parents about this, they think our cat died of natural causes...and same with our dog...but let me tell you, that was an accident...kinda...

people, um, whatever.