\\randomSPACE\r a n d o m

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`l o c a l`		`g l o b a l`
Search for guitar tabs		U of M Engineering Homepage
\| m u s i c \|		Pearl Jam MP3s
p r o f i l e		The Shugashack
p h i l o s o p h y ?		HTML info
`nothing`		Problems with Win95?
c o n v e r s a t i o n s		SPACE pictures
f u t u r e l i n k		f u t u r e l i n k

so, what's the point of this page?...this is my present self asking my past self what i was thinking when i created this...1998 lars, what's up?...can you believe i'm still here?...i mean that i'm still this pathetic?...but i'm going to have to ask my set designer to get some explosions and gun fights going on here because quite frankly, this page is boring the ____ out of me...i've seen more interesting things written when i accidentally dropped something on my keyboard...
Thoughts, ideas, and information...

Things people will always complain about => the weather, referees, their roomates, politicains, the opposite sex, the lack of quality sites on the web (i get 10 complaints a day about this site)...
hey, dont click this

Possibly the greatest magazine ever => Bikini, check it out if you can find it, it's real funny...my sister got me a subscription to it for christmas and i have yet to recieve a single magazine...i think i might have to talk to their supervisor...oh, the supervisor's not in right now?...how about the manager?...no manager?...that's chaos...no wonder i havent gotten my magazines...
The Orbit Guide to Suicide

/ r a n d o m / o p i n i o n s / o n / i n s i g n i f i c a n t / t h i n g s /
On ketchup bottles...
Ok, I am sick of going to restaurants and having to deal with a full glass ketchup bottle...do restaurants not realize that ketchup just does not like to flow out of a full glass bottle?...it is quite annoying waiting 20 minutes for your food and then 30 minuites for the ketchup to come out of the bottle...Heinz used to brag about how long it took for the ketchup to come out of the bottle...what were they thinking?... I know that plastic bottles are not as elegant as glass ones, but something has to be done about ketchups tendancy to stay inside glass bottles...we can not change the laws of physics(ketchup doesn't flow from a full glass bottle because it would cause a partial vacuum), so why not change the bottle?...I do not want to have to get the ketchup out of the bottle with a knife...there is an easier way, it's called a squeeze bottle... the only reason I can think of for still using the glass bottles is for their looks, have we become a society that chooses looks over function?....oh...we have?....and we've always been that way?...um, nevermind then...
Ok people, i have learned how to get the ketchup out of a ketchup bottle without breaking it:
1. tilt the bottle at a 45 degree angle
2. repeatedly hit it halfway between the opening and the bottom until the ketchup flows (see diagram)

On gas stations...
Have you noticed that prices at gas stations are accurate to the tenth of a penny?....it's never $1.13/gal it's always $1.129/gal...is this really necessary?...does that tenth of a penny make the gas seem so much cheaper?...if you are like me, you don't even look at the price...I mean, gas stations don't really have to fool us into buying gas do they?...it is kind of a necessity for cars...and who cares about a tenth of a penny anyways?...who cares about a whole penny?...if the gas stations want pennies they should go to one of those fountains that people throw their change in, or one of those donation boxes you sometimes see at restaurants like McDonalds...huh?...you're not supposed to take money from there?...ut oh...
More on this subject
/ r a n d o m / o p i n i o n s / o n / r a n d o m / t h i n g s /
On speeding tickets...
This one hits right at home because I just got a speeding ticket, please excuse me if I get overly emotional...Speeding tickets are complete bullshit...everyone speeds...you have to, speed limits are way too low...tell me, is it really necessary to have cops enforce things that have a built in incentive? don't understand what I mean by that?...me neither...lets try an example...If I run a red light, there is a good chance I will get hit by another car... do you think I want that to happen?...only if I sprain my neck and can sue for 12 million dollars...no, I don't want to run a red light because I don't want to get hit by another car...the police, I guess, think that people aren't worried about getting hit by other cars, so they feel they have to give us tickets to keep us from running red lights... which would you rather have, a $75 ticket, or a smashed up car and a serious injury?...I'll take the ticket...what then is really stopping me from running red lights?...the fear of the ticket, or the fear of wrecking my car and maybe my life?...there is already a huge built in incentive to follow traffic laws...you don't follow them and you put yourself in danger...so really, traffic tickets are just given out to help cops pay for their donuts...tickets are handed out in an unfair fashion because everyone breaks traffic laws and only some get tickets...I say, loosen up the traffic laws and increase taxes if the cops can't afford to buy their donuts... when I got my ticket last week, I was driving on a country road with no other cars in sight...I wasn't squealing my tires and taking turns at 90mph...I was just driving along at what I thought was a reasonable speed...I don't want to run off the road...I don't want to crash into another car...the police don't need to convince me that I need to be careful when I am driving...I know this...
Another problem with traffic cops...Because they are cops, they are immune to tickets even though they break traffic laws as often as you and I...so they don't understand how much it sucks to get a ticket...they are handing out punishments for breaking laws that they break every day...in other words, they are complete hypocrites...burn in hell traffic cops...burn in hell... instead of mad cow disease, why couldn't we have something useful like mad donut disease, I think that would knock out 95% of traffic cops...oh settle down, I'm just kidding you traffic cops...

i was wrong
ok, when i wrote the above thing on speeding tickets, i guess i forgot how stupid people are in general...from what ive heard and seen lately, i think people would run red lights and drive at extremely unsafe speeds routinely if it werent for traffic cops...my only complaint then is about the way traffic tickets are handled...if someone decides to fight their ticket in court even tho they know they are 100% guilty they will often get a reduced penalty or get the ticket thrown out all together...whereas the person who queitly pays their ticket and takes responsibility for their actions of course gets no sympathy...in other words, the american justice system sucks...
How to get out of speeding tickets

Rules of Decency
Section I part A.
If you borrow something from someone, RETURN IT. I don't care if you just borrowed a damn toothpick, when you are done with it, GIVE IT BACK. Is that so hard? It's the least you can do, when someone loans you something they are doing you a favor, DO NOT be any more of an inconvience to them than you have to be. Try thinking of someone besides yourself for once (No, Cindy Crawford and Brad Pitt don't count). I live with, and have lived with people who:
A) Like to take things without asking and never return them (aka stealing).
B) Like to borrow things and then never return them (aka stealing).
And, I find it really, really annoying.
Continued on Page G9 ...arent newspapers annoying?
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this is no where near completion, and right now, im gonna go play some hockey

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