Turning Down Tucker Max
By Ashley Gork
November 18, 2009
Continued
A relationship continued between Tucker and myself for a number of months. He then informed me that he was coming to East Lansing for a book tour. We planned to meet there. As the days pushed on, I got one last e-mail from Tucker. Within, he gave me his phone number and said that the interview would take place in his hotel room. He was serious. A serious asshole.
Tucker is who he says he is. There is no facade. When Tucker says, "My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead" he is telling the truth. In case you were wondering, I didn't show up to his hotel room that night and I never got my interview. Instead, I have plethora of knowledge on what it means to be an asshole. Following these simple warning signs and you too can avoid such a situation
How to Spot an Asshole:
1) If the guy has had more than six drinks before nine o'clock, you got yourself an asshole.
2) If the guy whistles or hollers at another girl when you are with him, you got yourself an asshole.
3) If the guy wants to know your measurements before he decides to meet you, you got yourself an asshole.
4) If the guy doesn't know how many women he has slept with, you got yourself an asshole.
5) If the guy steals the crutches from a disabled person, or gets drunks off of absinthe and drives into a donut shop, you got yourself Tucker Max.
So ladies, be careful out there. There are a lot of assholes that we just don't have the time to deal with. Make sure you treat yourself as the top priority in any relationship because no guy is worth it. As for Tucker, well let us all just pray that, they do actually serve beer in hell. I know they got a bar stool saved for him. Asshole.
ALSO IN LEADMag.com