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MESSAGE BOARD Archive January-April 2005

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Friday, April 22, 2005 -- 18:10:32 (EDT)
Name: Mary Craig --
Location: Salt Lake City, UT United States
  • Dear Paula,

    It was really good to be with you all in Denver over the weekend. I am especially glad to hear that you were able to see and feel the wonderful light in Simon's eyes from the pictures you saw. You can see even more of his sparkly spirit on this Web site. I highly recommend the Audio/Video Memories pages.

    I am very glad that Theresa and her family have people like you surrounding them. It makes all the difference.


  • Friday, April 22, 2005 -- 11:27:16 (EDT)
    Name: Paula Hale --
    Location: Aurora, CO United States
  • Mary, I'm glad I got to meet you and share your spirit at Rebecca's grave on Sunday, April 17. I could feel your strong spirit. I pray that you continue in the strength of the Lord during your life and with the memories of Simon. I was taken by the light in his eyes in the photos you shared.

  • Thursday, April 21, 2005 -- 00:03:11 (EDT)
    Name: Ellen Hanson --
    Location: Cape Cod, Ma USA
  • Hi Mary, thanks for bringing us on your trip to Colorado and to meet Theresa and family. I love the photos! Bless your angel and your family. Love, Ellen

  • Wednesday, April 20, 2005 -- 21:06:58 (EDT)
    Name: Kris Hopkins
    Location: Clinton, NY
  • Your entries from early April are really beautiful, Mary -- I admire your honesty in recounting the painful moments as well as your generosity in sharing some of the wonderful experiences you've had in recent weeks. In particular, I found what you wrote about your visit with Becca's family in Golden, CO to be both touching and uplifting -- and the graveside photos were just perfect. Simon and Becca are fortunate angels indeed, to have families who honor their memories so faithfully and creatively.

    Sending warm wishes,
    Kris and family

  • Wednesday, April 20, 2005 -- 12:41:37 (EDT)
    Name: Angela Thomas --
    Location: Tiffin, OH USA
  • How lovely to see Theresa's photo and Becca's grave on sweet Simon's site too. YOu are absolutely amazing! With continued love, friendship and prayers,

  • Tuesday, April 19, 2005 -- 07:44:07 (EDT)
    Name: Lee Williams
  • Good to catch up on your feelings and thoughts with the clock. You have enriched our lives with your ability to share in this grieving process.
    Enjoyed seeing your folks here in Baltimore and look forward to seeing you in Oberlin - come to Crystal if you can. Love, Lee

  • Wednesday, April 13, 2005 -- 10:54:20 (EDT)
    Name: Lindsay Gross Wilkinson
    Location: Kentwood, MI
  • Hi Everyone!
    Well, we were back in Ann Arbor this past weekend for a bit of an extended stay. On Friday I went for a walk through family housing with our new daugther, Harper. Andre was still in Ohio. I spent quite some time standing at the outer fence of your old space, near your blooming crocouses. My mind was flooded with sounds and sights of Simon. I heard lots of laughter. I heard requests and protests for what ever it was that was so important to do. I cried, as I'm crying now - for me it was a very powerful way to connect with the loss of Simon.

    I also want to share with you that we are planning on being there for Simon's memorial service in Ann Arbor this summer.

    Lastly, I haven't lost sight of the fact that I want to get a copy of the picture of the boys running through the rain to you. I haven't been able to make it work w/the technology in our home, but it will happen.

    Take Care, Lindsay

  • Monday, April 11, 2005 -- 12:19:32 (EDT)
    Name: Jacqui --
    Location: Oakton, VA
  • Mary, I've been thinking about you a lot recently and checking in periodically to see how you're doing. You seem to be bearing up very well, remembering what's not always easy to go back to, processing it for what it can teach you and moving on to the next piece of your grieving/healing. As always, I admire you and your strength tremendously.

    We're now having to pull together as a family to help my father make the most of what time he has left given his worsening colon cancer. If we can be a fraction as selfless, loving and level-headed as you have been, I feel confident Dad's last months will be about the best they possibly could.

    Take care. We love you.

  • Monday, April 11, 2005 -- 12:14:43 (EDT)
    Name: Mary Craig --
    Location: Salt Lake City, UT United States
  • Dearest Kathy,

    Your post the other day was absolutely not offensive! At least not to any of us. The truth really never can offend.

    Marina's loss of one of her best boyfriends is right up there with my loss of my son. Now Miriam is my only child who isn't dead. That's huge. And every one of us in that equation has a big, personal role to play and a radical redifining of ourselves that will take place over the time that stretches out ahead.

    Please keep sharing. I'm interested in putting up a section on the site to collect some commentary from children about Simon's life and death and their experiences of the loss.

    Any chance you guys want to meet up in A2 in June. What a bummer that we didn't know we were both there in March.



  • Monday, April 11, 2005 -- 00:24:44 (EDT)
    Name: katharine duderstadt --
    Location: san antonio, tx
  • Dear Mary and other visitors to the site,

    I hope the previous message didn't sound too rude...having quoted eight year old Marina directly. Kids have a way of bringing out emotions without protocol, (but perhaps I as an adult should be better about editing). Simon's spirit indeed follows all of us in unique and powerful ways. The butterflies are beginning to arrive to Texas among the bluebonnets and daisies. We think of Simon and of your family.


  • Saturday, April 09, 2005 -- 01:40:50 (EDT)
    Name: kathy duderstadt --
    Location: san antonio, tx
  • Hi Mary!

    I am up late once again and visited this site. Marina made a blunt kid's comment today..."My closest boy friend who isn't dead is Alan." She has so many memories of Simon...and others that she has lost. It's amazing.

    It is hard to visit this site because I remember Simon as a vivacious kid chasing Marina, Isamu, and Lev.

    I was not with you during the times that were so hard. I am thankful to all of the people who were.

    I am glad that you are giving yourself the opportunity to grieve and am impressed by your journal entries. I would love to read more of the entries of the times at Northwood. Hopefully some day you will share them.

    It turns out that we overlapped in Ann Arbor for a few days. (Actually I went to Northwood and walked around on March 18th remembering our time there. It looks great.)

    We also went to the dinosaur museum. (The last time we were there was with Simon.) Jane loves dinosaurs and ran around the big exhibit room roaring.

    We think of you all often. Marina would still like to come out to Salt Lake City and have Miriam teach her how to ski.

    Love, Kathy

  • Friday, April 08, 2005 -- 01:50:14 (EDT)
    Name: Mary Craig --
    Location: Salt Lake City, UT United States
  • Dear Patty,

    Thank you so much for telling of your visit to Simon's Place and what it meant to you. It means a lot to us to hear your thoughts.

    You have given me the idea to share some older journal entries, and I have done that in an April 7 update on the WHAT'S HAPPENING page.

    It is exciting to me to think of you at this early stage of parenting in Ann Arbor. There are so many great resources, and I'd love to name a couple, in case you haven't encountered them yet yourself.

    Gari Stein for music lessons (now is a good time to call and get on her list). Audrey Simon for infant massage (I think your daughter is still young enough for that). Linda Britt for daycare (hard to get a spot but worth asking). All of these fine ladies are listed in the phone book.

    Also, you may already have met Brenda Slomovits, who supports families in the NICU at Mott. She is married to San of the music group Gemini, and they had their own experience with a baby born early (now a blossoming ten year old).

    As your daughter gets a little older, be sure to check out Gemini and Wild Swan Theater, two of our all-time favorites.

    Have a lot of fun,


  • Thursday, April 07, 2005 -- 00:25:59 (EDT)
    Name: Patty --
    Location: Ann Arbor, MI United States
  • Dear Mary,
    You don't know me but I ran across Simon's website (while searching for a mommy's group in Ann Arbor on the internet) and become absorbed in the life of Simon. (I was especially taken by the Sing When the Spirit Says Sing video.) What an amazing little boy he was! I had a daughter 4 months ago and due to an early delivery she was kept at Mott's for several days. I have to say, those were amongst the hardest days I've ever experienced in my life. I can't image what you have had to endure, but you have done it with such grace and pure love. (My daughter is doing well now.) I went to bed at 5:00 am this morning and my husband woke just as I slipped into bed, he asked where I'd been and I told him a bit about Simon. He and I spent the next two hours watching our daughter sleep. When the sun came up she opened her eyes and gave us the biggest smile and later gave us her very first laugh. Later in the day we went to Border's and looked up the Raffi cd with Sing When The Spirit Says Sing, while sampling the CD I held it next to her ear and she smiled a beautiful toothless grin. I thought of Simon, and you and Miriam and Markus. God bless you all. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  • Wednesday, April 06, 2005 -- 00:01:56 (EDT)
    Name: Mary Craig --
    Location: Salt Lake City, UT United States
  • Dear Lisa,

    I remember you, Mary, and Jakob well! And I know there's another child, but can't call up the name right now. I think we have a book that you once gave us and inscribed. If it weren't already dark in Miriam's room, I'd try to find it right now!

    Thank you for telling us about the crocus patch and the gazing globe sculpture outside Heidi's classroom. We had not yet learned of this touching tribute to Simon, and we're eager to learn more!

    I know that Simon touched many lives at the Ann Arbor Open School during his kindergarten year. I am glad to know that he is still remembered there.

    Perhaps you can be one of our helpers in spreading the word about the events we will hold in June in Ann Arbor. It would be wonderful to see many of Simon's friends and teachers and families at the memorial service on June 3 and the benefit concert on June 5.

    We'll be in touch!


  • Tuesday, April 05, 2005 -- 16:42:01 (EDT)
    Name: Lisa Kiel --
    Location: Ann Arbor, MI USA
  • Mary, Miriam and Markus,

    My boys are roughly the same age as your kids. We go to 1st UU A2, and my kids attend A2 Open. Mary, we also attended LLL in the evening occasionally at the same time when the younger ones were wee.

    Yesterday when I was picking up Jakob at A2 Open I noticed that a beautiful, colorful, thick patch of crocuses were blooming in the warm sunny spot underneath the gazing globe sculpture placed outside Heidi's classroom in Simon's memory. It made Jakob and I stop in our tracks and think about Simon. And talk about things that are not always easy to talk about, but good to talk about.

    What a beautiful tribute to Simon and your family you have created here. Really, someday this should be a book. You are such a gifted writer.

    Take care, Lisa

  • Sunday, April 03, 2005 -- 21:05:00 (EDT)
    Name: CA Williams
  • All,

    Glad you had a good trip to Ann Arbor. We went to Laguna for Rowan's spring break and got to see Mike, Lise, Danielle, Adrienne and Jake. They were all remembering fondly our time there in Salt Lake with you. Already thinking about next year. Been getting some good spring skiing in Marcus? I am still getting the full functioning back of my ankle did some bad turns swimming in Laguna. Had a great time trying to surf again with my friend Jennifer I caught three good waves and stood once for about 3 seconds but boy is it fun having that wave move you along. I can really understand the addiction. If I lived in that climate I think I would be fully hooked too. Can't wait to go again. We think of you and Simon often and now I associate the full moon with him too. Our best to you three and the cats. Love to have a meal with you. Go to the Red Iguana for us! Yum Yum. Good luck with the planning for the Ann Arbor memorial.

    Love, Annette

  • Monday, March 28, 2005 -- 14:37:38 (EST)
    Name: Katrina Zook --
    Location: Laramie, WY
  • Dear Mary,
    I'm glad you and Miriam had the chance to spend time together back in AA. It is also the city of my birth! Lester Monts was on my dissertation committee at UC Santa Barbara and continues to be a close friend and mentor. This is truly a small world. I think of you and your family daily and continue to be grateful for your updates. Love, Katrina

  • Monday, March 21, 2005 -- 14:25:28 (EST)
    Name: Jill Elliott --
    Location: Ann Arbor, MI USA
  • Mary, thank you so much for your visit today at WDI. Your time over lunch was such a blessing for those of us able to meet with you. I understand the demands of a short visit at a city in which you once called home, and I'm so grateful for your time to come spend a meal with us. We look forward to the June 4th and 5th events here!

  • Tuesday, March 15, 2005 -- 08:16:02 (EST)
    Name: Jean Watson --
    Location: Canton, OH USA
  • Hi Mary, Markus and Miriam - just thought I'd drop a note letting you know that I think of you daily and check the website frequently just to stay in touch and get a feel for how you're doing.

    Love, Jean

  • Tuesday, March 08, 2005 -- 13:21:01 (EST)
    Name: JoNell Lee --
    Location: Lynn Haven, Florida USA
  • What an absolutely beautiful, heart-wrenching tribute to your son. Simon was very special and I know you miss him. God bless you. Jody

  • Monday, March 07, 2005 -- 23:46:52 (EST)
    Name: kathy duderstadt --
    Location: san antonio, tx
  • Hello Mary,

    I was grateful to read you last entry. Thanks for writing it.

    We have a game-boy thing too (Nathan bought it)...Marina has used it maybe 6 times in fhe past two years. To her it is rather useless. She prefers to put on makeup and pretend she is a secret detective.... and then get on the web and solve some mystery through the Disney website.

    Thank you for putting the video of Simon, Marina, and Miriam on the website. It brought back huge memories. I have found a hard time responding to it.

    I need to dig up some of our videos. I have one, for example, during a parade on your wedding anniversary (i.e. Halloween). I think you were a cat, Markus was a big bear, and Simon was...well...let me see if I can dig it up...because I know he was digging in the sand on the video.

    We are going back to Ann Arbor next week for the first time in a year. I hope to walk through Northwood IV and say a brief hello to memories.

    I hope to visit with Melanie and family as well...

    Do you know the name of Deborah's new baby?



  • Sunday, March 06, 2005 -- 19:46:54 (EST)
    Name: Sally
    Location: Seattle, WA
  • I feel really aligned with you, on this 7th anniversary of Simon's death.
    I took Amy and a friend to a playground this afternoon. I was sitting on a bench reading when I heard a dad call "Simon!". I looked up and saw a boy, probably about 6 or 7 years old, with curly brown hair. I gasped and tears sprang to my eyes. My reaction was so emotional and heart-aching. Then I came home, checked this site, and note that it has been 7 months today. I feel especially connected, my missing him so close to the surface as yours must be every minute.
    He and you are in my heart and mind.
    love, Sally

  • Wednesday, March 02, 2005 -- 14:38:48 (EST)
    Name: gari stein
  • hello to you all...thank you for the pictures of the beautiful birch tree over simon's grave and the beautiful pie. I think of you everyday and am so glad I still have pictures up of you all..simon's blue cup with his name is still in my cupboard...sending you lots of love always...Gari

  • Wednesday, March 02, 2005 -- 06:07:48 (EST)
    Name: Dotty Seiter --
    Location: S. Hamilton, MA USA
  • Mary,

    Thank you for more Simon Says!

    Hugs to all,

  • Wednesday, February 23, 2005 -- 23:04:46 (EST)
    Name: Rebecca --
    Location: Oberlin, OH USA
  • Dear friends, Markus, Mary and Miriam,

    It's been ever so long since we've written, though you're in our hearts constantly. We send you lots of love. Schuyler remembered Simon the other night, and we had heartaches and good family hugs in remembrace of our sweet boy. You see, moments like these remind us that Simon is always with us because our memories are always with us. We are grateful for this reference point, even as we are aware of how difficult your journey is, continuing without him. We honor that, too, when we remember him.

    We miss you all so much.
    Sending kisses, hugs, smiles, memories, hope and reverence,

    Rebecca, Randy, Emma and Schuyler

  • Tuesday, February 22, 2005 -- 21:53:36 (EST)
    Name: Mary Craig --
    Location: Salt Lake City, UT United States
  • Dear Emma,

    It's really good to hear from you. Do you like the picture of you and Simon on the Web site?

    I liked Simon's hot cocoa party, too, even though it was a little crazy with so many kids. But I really liked the way he organized it and made all those phone calls to invite his friends.

    I was at Simon's grave today. There was a new grave near his grave. I also saw three deer close by.

    I think a hot cocoa party at the cemetery would be a really fun idea. I keep waiting for enough snow so we can make angels at Simon's grave.

    Do you want to make a plan for a party? Let's talk!



  • Tuesday, February 22, 2005 -- 20:22:21 (EST)
    Name: Emma Smid --
    Location: Salt Lake, UT U.S.A.
  • DEAR MARkus, mary and Miriam,
    I loved Simons hot chocolate party
    it was so so so FUN!!!We miss him so so
    so much!!!Maybe we could go to his grave sometime with hot chocolate?
    LOVE Emma Smid

  • Sunday, February 20, 2005 -- 18:15:22 (EST)
    Name: don --
    Location: chapel hill, n. caroline usa
  • dearest simon's place you have no way of ever knowing me but we were most likly family. my father's mother was also a Craig. way back in 1823,as agriculture fall here,part of the family moved on to the fertile valleys of ohio.other's moved on to wisconsins.your tragic life struck a cord in me and i would like to communicate with your parents,if they have the courage. don

  • Wednesday, February 16, 2005 -- 14:56:45 (EST)
    Name: Bill W --
    Location: Madison, WI UDS
  • Good afternoon. You don't know me and I hope you don't mind me writing a few words. I just wanted to let you know that I found this site because we share the same web-guru and I wanted to see some of his other work. I thought you should know that Simon's life and story have had a very profound and specific effect on me this afternoon - my wife gave birth do our daughter, Madeline, last May and I have struggled (as I have most of my professional life) with the issue of work-life balance, especially as it pertains to spending more time with Madeline, and putting in more reasonable (hopefully someday less than the 60 or so I do now!) hours at work. What used to keep me "sane" was the thought that Madeline will always be in my life, so it's o.k. if I work more now, and perhaps spend more time with her later. Learning about Simon has changed that thought, for obvious reasons. Life IS precious, and the children that come into our lives may only touch us for a short time and only God truly knows how long that time while last. I feel your sorrow, Simon seemed like a wonderful, wonderful little guy and I'm certain you miss him dearly. I thought you'd like to know that however distant and unknown some people may seem to you, there are those like myself who will benefit greatly from his legacy, if only to be reminded that the joy of a child is more precious than most people will ever know. Thank you and may you soon find that Simon's happy memories overshadow your grief.

  • Tuesday, February 15, 2005 -- 13:36:30 (EST)
    Name: Mary Craig --
    Location: Salt Lake City, UT United States
  • Dear Friends,

    I had just finished typing the below message with news about Deborah Gurt's new baby, born this morning. Then I looked in my email and found a message from my mom that Joanna Tabbutt Krauss (my cousin) gave birth on February 11 to Chloe Jane Krauss. So, both the babes that came "in utero" to Simon's service in August have now arrived, within days of each other.

    Blessings on the families and the new wee ones!


  • Tuesday, February 15, 2005 -- 13:24:49 (EST)
    Name: Mary Craig --
    Location: Salt Lake City, UT United States
  • Dear Kathy,

    I was glad to hear from you, but I'm sorry to hear that Marina is feeling sad about missing Simon. In a fun twist of timing, it turns out I was just editing a little video clip of Simon, Marina, and Miriam. I posted it yesterday. It's in the year 2000 section.

    Please let us know what Marina thinks about the video. It really helps me to go back and see Simon in action. It helps me remember how wonderful he was, and that usually makes me less sad about missing him and more glad about knowing him.

    I am also wondering if Marina and any other friends of Simon might want to try being pen-pals. What do you think of that idea? I think we could find a way to set that up, and since they're all learning to write at school, they might enjoy the project.

    I had no idea about Deborah's baby, and I just couldn't write that. So, I picked up the phone and called them. Katherine (Marek's mom) answered and told me, no, I couldn't talk to Deborah because she was in the hospital. I worried for a moment, and she told me, "She's just had a baby this morning." All is well with mom and babe, although the labor was difficult because the baby's back was turned toward Deborah's. Marek came home while we were talking and was able to add that the little guy is 7 pounds, 12 ounces and 20 inches long. They will let us know when they've decided on his name!

    It feels good to be in touch with the old Family Housing crowd.



  • Monday, February 14, 2005 -- 00:33:04 (EST)
    Name: katharine duderstadt --
    Location: san antonio, tx
  • Dear Mary, Markus, and Miriam:

    You are all such an inspiration for life as you travel through unknown lands for myself and Marina.

    Marina's birthday was Monday (February 7th). She turned eight. She received a portable DVD player from her grandparents and now it is hard to get her to bed with us knowing that she is really asleep.... Otherwise it was a very low key birthday.
    I spent the day sleeping and didn't get around to wrapping her presents before she returned from school. She didn't seem to mind. She received lots of cool stuff....and so did Jane. (I love to shop at the SuperTarget dollar aisle).

    Two days ago Marina woke up crying and said that she was very sad. She had a dream that Simon was still alive. She said that she really missed Simon. We told her that we missed Simon as well.

    You are all still a part of our hearts and dreams.

    As I look at the news about the art exhibit in Central Park I remember the kids running around and hidiing in the sculpture on the diag which you made possible at the U of M.


    p.s. Has Deborah had her baby?

  • Wednesday, February 09, 2005 -- 19:10:22 (EST)
    Name: Lee Williams
  • Mary - it is good to read your web page. Glad Ann and Norm could be there for a visit - enjoyed the pictures of you all. Love, Lee

  • Wednesday, February 09, 2005 -- 01:30:27 (EST)
    Name: Sally
    Location: Seattle,
  • Hi Mary,
    I'm checking in, too. You write so well about the grief. I miss Simon, too.

  • Tuesday, February 08, 2005 -- 23:21:02 (EST)
    Name: Kris Hopkins --
    Location: Clinton, NY
  • Dear Mary, Markus, and Miriam,

    It's been so long since I've written -- not because I haven't wanted to, but because I just can't seem to find the "right" words. Every time I visit this site, I'm moved by your continuing story. But this part of your journey may be harder in some ways than even the roughest parts of the cancer journey itself. I'm sure many of us would love to whisk away the pain for you. Yet we know, as you know, that it's yours to bear, just as your love of Simon is yours to treasure forever. The two go hand in hand, inextricably intertwined ... like the thorns and the rose....

  • Monday, February 07, 2005 -- 13:52:17 (EST)
    Name: Dotty Seiter --
    Location: S. Hamilton, MA USA
  • Mary,

    You say, "Still, I value the chance to come here and write my story, and I am grateful to those who are checking in."

    I say, "And we ARE checking in."

    With love.


  • Monday, January 31, 2005 -- 12:46:32 (EST)
    Name: Katrina Zook --
    Location: Laramie, WY
  • Dear Mary,
    The inclusion of the video clips adds a depth to the Simon's Place experience, especially for those of us who did not know Simon personally. I am drawn to them so often as they allow me to continuously empathize with your loss, never lose sight of what is most important in life, and know even more about your extraordinary child. The experience of mourning with your family and also marveling at the bright light that was and is Simon will have lasting and indescribable effects on so many people. Thank you for your work to this end and for sharing something so unspeakably precious. Love, Katrina

  • Sunday, January 30, 2005 -- 14:25:14 (EST)
    Name: Dotty Seiter --
    Location: S. Hamilton, MA USA
  • Mary,

    I like the tidy, orderly boxes in which you've placed the video clips chronologically; equally, I like the fact that you are not entering the video clips in chronological order -- they pop up the way memory does, with a life of its own. Thank you, and thank you.

    Love to all of you,

  • Saturday, January 29, 2005 -- 11:39:17 (EST)
    Name: Lindsay --
    Location: Kentwood, MI
  • Mary &amp Markus,
    Thank you so much for getting the video clip of Simon enjoying the photo album up on your website. . .I watched it a few times and can't wait to share it with Andre (he's in Ohio for the weekend). Andre, I'm sure, will enjoy seeing Simon's joy at the memories they created together. I loved seeing Simon's excitement over the picture of the boys running in the rain together. The combination of their carefree play in the rain and the sunlight shinning so brightly down on them has always made it one of my personal favorites!

  • Wednesday, January 26, 2005 -- 21:21:09 (EST)
    Name: Mary Craig --
    Location: Salt Lake City, UT United States
  • Hi Blan and others,

    Here's a Web link where you can download the free Quicktime player. You should be able to find a compatible version for your system. You don't need the version that costs money. Let me know if it works!

  • Wednesday, January 26, 2005 -- 18:57:33 (EST)
    Name: Blan --
    Location: Dublin, Ireland
  • Hi Mary, could you let me know what software I need for the video/sound clips? At the moment, I cannot access them.

  • Monday, January 24, 2005 -- 23:07:36 (EST)
    Name: Cathy West --
    Location: Modesto, CA USA
  • Dear Mary -
    I've followed Simon's story on the N-blast listserv for a little over a year now. My own son Nicklaus was dx with NB (stage 3) just over 2 years ago, when he was only 2 days old.

    Today when I was reading the N-blast posts, I followed the link to Simon's audio/video clips. With my just-turned-2 year old survivor on my lap, we listened to your sweet Simon sing the ice cream song. Over and over and over again. With one bud of my iPod earphones in my ear, and the other in Nicklaus', we listened to that precious boy sing and sing and sing. And I listened to Nicklaus say "Again! Again! Again!" all afternoon long - until his daddy came home from work and could take over the mouse-pointing duties for me.

    Simon touched my son in such a clear, sweet way that it brought tears to my eyes over and over today. I just had to write and tell you that your son is still touching the lives of people you've never even met. And to thank you for sharing him with my family.

    All my best to you and your family. We'll never forget Simon - even though we never knew him.


  • Monday, January 24, 2005 -- 19:52:56 (EST)
    Name: Gari Stein
  • Hello, it has been sooo long since I have written, but not a day goes by that I do not think of Simon and all of you. I have been sooo busy grandmothering and now getting ready for my son's summer wedding. Sending warm wishes for love and peace to you all. Always, Gari

  • Monday, January 24, 2005 -- 13:37:29 (EST)
    Name: amy --
    Location: ann arbor, mi
  • Mary:

    I think about you often, especially as we are deluged by snow after snow--the most I've seen in the 6 years we've been in Ann Arbor. I loved seeing the videos and was struck by how much Simon looked, at age 3 or so, like Miriam! I hope you will continue to see him through her. I was so touched by the 2003 entry about following your heart. I can envision you blowing up his quote to cherish daily. What a wise boy, who was taking care of his mother....

    PS: Ran into the Hammermeshes in Israel and then again on our return flight! We shared our thoughts for you and your family.

  • Sunday, January 23, 2005 -- 19:48:43 (EST)
    Name: Connie Strayer --
    Location: Carlisle, PA USA
  • What a beautiful and lovely site. Simon must have been great.

  • Tuesday, January 18, 2005 -- 21:38:22 (EST)
    Name: Kerri --
    Location: Billings, MT USA
  • Words are so measly and inadequate. As I fight my own personal battle with cancer,and gaze upon your Angel Simon"I feel strength for the next chemo,peace amisdt the pieces and courage to contiue to trust God to be my Rock. Oh how I send love and blankets of life your way .

  • Tuesday, January 18, 2005 -- 10:27:33 (EST)
    Name: Jean Watson --
    Location: Dover, OH USA
  • Thanks for much for the video clips. For those of us far away it's a wonderful way to get a glimpse of the family. It's especially meaningful for me since I never got to meet Simon in person - I only knew him through stories from your parents to mine, and through this website. What a beautiful little boy.

    Love to everyone. Jean

  • Saturday, January 15, 2005 -- 16:47:25 (EST)
    Name: Joanna --
    Location: Brewster, Ma
  • Great videos they were very fun to watch. They loaded very quickly and were very clear.

  • Thursday, January 13, 2005 -- 21:56:37 (EST)
    Name: Linda Britt --
    Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan USA
  • What bittersweet joy to watch the videos! Thanks for providing them. And bravo, Mary, for your letter to the editor! Well done. xoxoxo

  • Thursday, January 13, 2005 -- 14:58:50 (EST)
    Name: Lindsay Wilkinson --
    Location: Kentwood, MI
  • Love, Love, Love the videos you have added to this website. . .what a joy to watch! It wasn't too many months after the spieluhren video was shot that Simon &amp Andre played together for the first time. Thinking of you all, Lindsay &amp Family

  • Wednesday, January 12, 2005 -- 13:35:19 (EST)
    Name: Amber Dimkoff --
    Location: Jonesboro, GA USA
  • Dear Mary,

    Thank you for continuing to update the web site. I feel connected to your grieving process and appreciate being kept up-to-date.

    The video footage is wonderful. I am, at the moment, eating lunch at my desk at Spivey Hall. Hearing Simon's music just seemed to be the natural thing to listen to in my surroundings. What joy your and Markus' love of music gave Simon! How Miriam is benefiting as well!

    Much love,

  • Tuesday, January 11, 2005 -- 23:04:43 (EST)
    Name: Sally
    Location: Seattle,
  • Saw the videos clearly and loudly! Wonderful images and memories. Thanks for sharing them.
    love, Sally

  • Tuesday, January 11, 2005 -- 22:10:06 (EST)
    Name: Beth Hospadaruk --
    Location: Ann Arbor , MI
  • Just what I needed tonight. Thank you for the film footage of your two angels. You are all in my thoughts often and am so glad to catch up by visiting Simon's Place. Best wishes for 2005 from Ann Arbor,

  • Tuesday, January 11, 2005 -- 15:54:26 (EST)
    Name: Jacqui Shambaugh --
    Location: Oakton, VA
  • Loved the film clips!
    All the best,

  • Monday, January 10, 2005 -- 19:25:23 (EST)
    Name: Dotty Seiter --
    Location: Hamilton, MA USA
  • Yay! Spieluhren &amp Tschuess! I got to the video first by following Trina's suggestion, and now, with the typo mended, I can get there through the intended link. And what wonderful life I find there!

    Thank you for your ongoing sharing.

    Thank you, too, for linking us to your feisty comments on "Nameless-wife syndrome." Exactly: what's up! I'm currently working one-to-one with a high school student who wants to improve her essay-writing abilities. In shaping a definition of what constitutes an essay, we both liked the statement of an instructor who said, "Any time writers write to express a point of view, they write essays. For example, writers write essays when they write letters to an editor." As soon as I read your letter to the editor of the Salt Lake Tribune, I passed it along to my student. Perfect!


  • Monday, January 10, 2005 -- 18:54:42 (EST)
    Name: Mary Craig --
    Location: Salt Lake City, UT United States
  • Dotty and Trina,

    Good catch. I just fixed the bum link to the new video of Simon and the music boxes. Sorry about that--just a typo. I'm glad that, typos aside, the technology is working on the receiving end to see my little snipits of a wonderful life.


  • Monday, January 10, 2005 -- 15:27:11 (EST)
    Name: Trina Eyring --
    Location: Salt Lake City, UT
  • Mary,
    I was able to view the videos of SImon and Miriam. I first clicked on the link and got the same message as Dotty. Then, I clicked on the picture of Simon and the video ran fine. He's so cute and I'm glad I got to see this video of him when he was younger!


  • Monday, January 10, 2005 -- 07:55:56 (EST)
    Name: Dotty Seiter --
    Location: Hamilton, MA USA
  • Mary, when I click on the link for the new video clip, I get the following message:

    The requested address:
    does not correspond to any file that is currently available on Please double-check the URL or try the search box below.

    : (

  • Monday, January 10, 2005 -- 01:48:06 (EST)
    Name: Leslye Herrmann --
    Location: Milwaukee, WI USA
  • Dear Mary,
    Thank you so much for letting your old Wes friends know about Simon through the class notes. I had time tonight to read through your amazing website after Stefan and Alek went to bed. I'm exhausted and crying, but I can't go to bed without writing first.
    I am so sorry, Mary. I am so, so sorry. I wish I had a chance to know Simon. I can see him playing Captain Underpants, with Stefan &amp Alek being George &amp Harold. Tra la laaa!
    Thank you for creating this website for all of us who care about you and your family. You provide so much information to help us understand Simon and his death, and in the process, provide guidance on life. Seeing how you have created this supportive community woven of family, friends from across time and space, church, and music is inspirational. I am revising my New Year's resolutions to include making a bigger comittment to the Uni church (there's something about the lack of specificity of Unitarianism that makes showing up seem so optional -- it's easy to lose sight of how the family could benefit if we got involved) and to sing more. Don't reinvent your life too much, Mary. From here, it looks like you have the important things sorted out already. With warmest wishes for a peaceful and healing 2005, Leslye (and David, and my parents, who were so saddened by your message as well)

  • Thursday, January 06, 2005 -- 15:00:05 (EST)
    Name: Mary Craig --
    Location: Salt Lake City, UT United States
  • Dear Matt,

    I have just come back from a visit to your site for Julien. I have scanned what I can to get a sense of your story since last spring. My heart and lungs contort with that horrible pull of grief as I absorb your writings about Julien's last days and your life since then. I am so sorry for your awful pain.

    Your time in the hospital after Julien's death was vivid to me in your descriptions. I have wondered how a hospital death can end gently for the family. I resonate with your account of holding Julien's body for seven hours. We also took time with Simon's body at our home, although we came and went from the room throughout the day, kissing him and touching him, attempting to register the stiffening and cooling of the body, to help us somehow comprehend his dying. I am glad you could stay so long with Julien and that the hospital was so supportive.

    I had a special pang when I read that Naomi had held and nursed Julien every day of his life. I breastfed my two children for 3+ years each. I can't quite picture the sadness of a child's death as the point of weaning, which is, in itself, such a delicate dance of separation.

    As I read your site, I was a little unsure about your whole family. How old is Jake? Are there others? Like Naomi, I do yoga and find it hugely helpful.

    Today is five months since Simon's death. I have sensed that I am emerging from numb and beginning to feel the true depth of my pain. So far, my grief seems to be measuring itself in doses that I can tolerate. I am learning to trust the numbness and trying not to rush things along.

    When I submitted my update to the Wesleyan magazine, I heard back from a staff member at the magazine. There she was, inputting my letter, and her own first-born had died of neuroblastoma twenty years earlier. She wrote to this message board on September 29, 2004 (scroll down to find links to the archive). Her name is Cynthia Rockwell.

    I know that we will all keep sharing our stories, as we must, and that we will continue to find these amazing connections to other people "out there".

    Blessings to your family as you ride out the winter and approach your March anniversary.


  • Thursday, January 06, 2005 -- 12:40:23 (EST)
    Name: Matt Paul --
  • Mary, I read about Simon's death in the Wesleyan magazine today. My wife, Naomi Mezey, and I both went to Wesleyan (class of '87) and unfortunately we share something else in common with you: our son, Julien, died of leukemia on March 29, 2004 at age 2. I have received countless cards and e-mails of condolence and I still cannot adequately write one. I can only say how deeply sorry I am to have learned of your terrible news. Julien died 9 months ago. I count the new moon each month like you mentioned in your journal and I still cry every day. Reading your website is painful and moving for me as we keep a website for Julien from the hopeful beginning of his treatment until he died and we continue to update it. The website has been an incredible source of comfort for us ( and I will be checking in on you and your family as I check my website and some of the other families we met during Julien's treatment.

  • Monday, January 03, 2005 -- 19:11:13 (EST)
    Name: Dotty Seiter -- Email:
    Location: Hamilton, MA USA
  • Simon singing! Peppermint! Pistachio!

    : )

    Sunday, January 02, 2005 -- 10:33:03 (EST)
    Name: Cristina -- Email:
    Location: ann arbor, mi US
  • Dear Mary, Wonderful postings. I too will be watching the moon. I wanted to tell you that Miriam is so beautiful!!! Thank you for sharing the lovely pictures. Cristina (I joined WDI after you left but still so many people here know you and I feel I know you too)


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