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MESSAGE BOARD Archive November-December 2004

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Friday, December 31, 2004 -- 16:06:07 (EST)
Name: Dotty Seiter -- Email:
Location: Hamilton, MA USA
  • Hi Mary,

    Good to hear your voice on the eve of the new year. Wonderful drawings! Wonderful smooch from Miriam!

    Here's to a full, rich new year!


    Monday, December 27, 2004 -- 16:23:43 (EST)
    Name: Madi, Lexi, Lawrie and Curt
    Location: Seattle,
  • Thanks for sharing your words, your thoughts, your feelings. You all are and have been in our thoughts and prayers.

    Love, Madi, Lexi, Lawrie and Curt

    Sunday, December 26, 2004 -- 12:29:39 (EST)
    Name: Dotty Seiter -- Email:
    Location: Hamilton, MA USA
  • Thinking of you all today, too, knowing this is another anniversary . . . Sending much love, Dotty

    Saturday, December 25, 2004 -- 18:02:01 (EST)
    Name: Sally
    Location: Seattle,
  • Thinking of you all today...sending much love,
    Sally, Jim, Sarah and Amy

    Wednesday, December 22, 2004 -- 13:38:21 (EST)
    Name: Kris Hopkins -- Email:
    Location: Clinton, NY
  • I was really moved by your entry on the 16th, Mary -- all those lovely moon memories you shared ... as well as the still-painful associations you mentioned. Grief ebbs and flows, doesn't it -- and not on our schedule, but on its own....

    We continue to think about you. And we send special, soft, caring wishes for Christmas -- may the holiday season glow gently for you, with moonlight and votive-candle light and, perhaps most precious of all, love light.


    Monday, December 20, 2004 -- 09:04:49 (EST)
    Name: Liza Burger -- Email:
    Location: Ithaca, ny
  • Hi,
    Just saw a copy of the book on ebay for a "buy it now" price of $20. You might also check I didn't know this was such a hot item!

    Sunday, December 19, 2004 -- 06:18:56 (EST)
    Name: Dotty Seiter -- Email:
    Location: Hamilton, MA USA
  • Mary,

    <> has a copy for $30.00, but you might want to start by seeing if you can find the book through interlibrary loan first. Our tiny local library has been able to find just about any book I've ever requested, including a children's novel published in the 1920's, which they found for me in a Texas library!


    Sunday, December 19, 2004 -- 02:56:04 (EST)
    Name: Mary Craig -- Email:
    Location: Salt Lake City, UT United States
  • Liza,

    I'm intrigued about the book "Walk When the Moon is Full". I've checked our library--it's not in the collection. I checked Amazon. Wow. They are offering 4 used copies of the paperback at $49.95 and up!

    Any other ideas about getting this title, anyone?


    Saturday, December 18, 2004 -- 16:41:50 (EST)
    Name: Liza Burger
    Location: Ithaca, NY
  • Hi Mary,
    Drinking in your update on Simon's site today was a beautiful way to wind down after an afternoon of craziness in the world of holiday shopping. Thank you. We have a wonderful book that you might be interested in-- one that we've read often to the girls, and now they sometimes read it to each other. It's "Walk When the Moon is Full," and it tells the story of a mom and her children venturing out each month on the full moon.
    Thinking of you with love.

    Saturday, December 18, 2004 -- 16:14:58 (EST)
    Name: Dotty Seiter -- Email:
    Location: Hamilton, MA USA
  • Mary,

    Truth to tell, I don't much like this time of year, what with the cultural holiday hyperventilation and the paucity of daylight, but your entries at Simon's Place -- one of my favorite places -- are gifts beyond measure. I, too, am one to search out the moon again and again; now, I find Simon there. Today, I see that you've added more entries to Simon Says. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Indeed, a Christmas gift.

    Hugs to all of you.

    Love, Dotty

    Friday, December 17, 2004 -- 13:13:32 (EST)
    Name: Quentin -- Email:
    Location: Ann Arbor, MI USA
  • My wife, Barbara, and I went to Alaska over Thanksgiving to visit my son, Edward, his wife Melissa, and my two grandchildren Nolen (18 mo) and Max (3 mo) in Fairbanks. Their condo faces south with many big windows on that side. It was odd to watch the sun rise at 9:30 and set at 2:30 out of the same window. But a more amazing thing was to watch the moon rise and stay up for 19 hours along with the planets which were all low in the sky but very visible. The moon looks bigger near the horizon. My son and daughter-in-law kept asking what we wanted to do while we were there but seeing all of them was my reason for coming. We did drive to Mt. McKinnley, Denali, and saw moose in the road for whom we had to stop and then later caribou. I got to pet some sled dogs too. In the airport there was a little girl practicing her violin while we waited for the plane. I showed her my instrument and told her how much I enjoyed hearing her play. She had a pretty small violin. I hope Mirian is doing well with hers.

    Edward got to show me his Chinook helicopter that he will be flying in Iraq. I got inside and looked at all of the stuff. These helicopters are usually unarmed, although they can hang machine guns out of the doors.Great:-( We are worried about him going there. The thought of him be killed or hurt there is daunting. He has a lot to live for back here. I was a little short on knowing what to say so I told him to take care of himself and that I love him.

    Teaching the 3-4 year olds is going fine. The class size is usually only 5-6 which is easier. I always think of Simon while I am there. I am sure that seeing Simon's toys is hard. May be Miriam sees them as being hers now. I am sure she would help you in deciding what to do.
    Love Quentin.

    Tuesday, December 14, 2004 -- 15:15:03 (EST)
    Name: amy -- Email:
  • Missed seeing you at the Pres/Provost's holiday party! I can but imagine how difficult the holiday season is--please know that I'm thinking about you all and wishing that you find joy in each other and in your new community this season--


    Saturday, December 11, 2004 -- 10:22:25 (EST)
    Name: Kay Beaton -- Email:
    Location: Park City, UT
  • Hi Mary, Markus &amp Miriam
    I was at Trolley Square shopping a few weeks ago, and paused at the Spagetti Factory for a reflective moment thinking of Simon and wishing you the warmest healing thoughts. Sorry we missed the Gemini concert (we were in California) but from the posts I see that our family MUST make the next event! And I would be happy to photography it for you! Peace &amp Hugs! - Kay, Kirk, Heather &amp Tyler

    Friday, December 10, 2004 -- 17:18:27 (EST)
    Name: Luz Garcia
    Location: Salt Lake City, Utah
  • Mary, Marcus, and Miriam,
    I just wated to let you all know that we have missed Simon so much. Miguel is now in second grade and oftentimes wonders about Simon. Most of the time he remembers something and you can really see his face light up, then he will make a comment and stay quiet for a little while. It's been hard for him. For all of us I guess. Miguel was happy to visit Simon's grave last month. We'll plan to visit him for Christmas.

    Take care,
    Luz, Julio, Miguel, and Julito

    P.S. Julito has asked for the Captain Underpants Book Collection for Christmas (and a toy). He loves the books.

    Thursday, December 09, 2004 -- 00:26:11 (EST)
    Name: Sally Olson
    Location: Seattle, WA
  • I like to imagine - if there are trees in heaven - my dad raking up a big leaf pile for Simon to jump into.

    It was good to be with you in Oberlin.
    love, Sally

    Wednesday, December 08, 2004 -- 11:30:32 (EST)
    Name: Jacqui -- Email:
    Location: Minneapolis, MN
  • Yes, some of us read your last posting all the way to the end!

    We discussed Simon, his wonderful spirit and your incredible sharing at our Thanksgiving table this year. You've given - and continue to give - tremendous gifts to us all. I hope that you're still able to take support/comfort from us in return as you face these difficult milestones.

    A big, holiday hug to you all!

    Tuesday, December 07, 2004 -- 13:57:04 (EST)
    Name: Shannon Rice -- Email:
    Location: Ann Arbor, MI
  • Dear Mary,

    I think about you often. After Simon passed I kept meaning to send you a card to let you know how sorry I was and that I was thinking of you. But I could never find the words to tell you how deeply saddened I was by everything your family went through. I still come back to Simon's website to check in on how you are all doing during this very rough transition. I find myself thinking of my brother and father, who both died from cancer. And while I am saddened, I am also comforted by many of your words as they echo many of the feelings I have had, and to some extent still do have, when thinking of my own family. Please know that we are still thinking of you, whether you feel like writing or not!
    much love,

    Thursday, December 02, 2004 -- 23:14:51 (EST)
    Name: Kris Hopkins -- Email:
    Location: Clinton, NY
  • Nothing much to say, except that I'm thinking about you all and wishing you well. Hope the rest of the Gemini visit last month went beautifully!


    Monday, November 29, 2004 -- 19:28:13 (EST)
    Name: Lee Williams
  • Mary and Markus - it was wonderful to read about Gemini coming and singing to Utah for Simon. I am so glad it worked out so well. I think of you often and know when the 10 of us family gathered here for Thanksgiving we also thought of you. Thanks for sharing so well. Lots of love, Lee

    Saturday, November 27, 2004 -- 14:22:01 (EST)
    Name: Beth Hospadaruk -- Email:
    Location: Ann Arbor, MI
  • Mary, Markus and Miriam,
    I was just thinking about being thankful and all the things I try to remember to be thankful for. I'm thankful that all of you and Simon too have a place in my life. I'm thankful that you started a fund to honor Simon. I'm thankful that you chose to share our Ann Arbor Duo, Gemini with Utah, we know Simon would be so proud. I'm thankful for your website and to learn how you are coping with not having Simon as you enter this holiday season. I am truly thankful form the bottom of my heart. Beth

    Wednesday, November 24, 2004 -- 15:30:46 (EST)
    Name: Jennifer Click -- Email:
    Location: Falls Church, VA
  • Mary, Markus, and Miriam
    Wishing you a Thanksgiving filled with peace, love, and warm memories of your Capt. Underpants.
    Love from Jen, Carolyn and Evan

    Wednesday, November 24, 2004 -- 06:09:21 (EST)
    Name: Dotty Seiter -- Email:
    Location: Hamilton, MA USA
  • I am grateful for Markus, Mary, Simon, and Miriam in my heart.

    With hugs,

    Monday, November 15, 2004 -- 20:02:37 (EST)
    Name: Liz Martin -- Email:
    Location: Salt Lake City, UT
  • I had to post to echo Rachael...sharing Gemini with us has been such a tremendous gift! They are AMAZING. It was hard to get my kids out of the house on Saturday afternoon for the concert; but they were won over instantly and anxious to see Gemini again at the auction and at Intergen the next day.

    My Ian has been singing "This Little Light of Mine" all weekend...and was thrilled to learn that it was one of Simon's favorites too.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! xoxo.....

    Monday, November 15, 2004 -- 18:12:37 (EST)
    Name: Muffy -- Email:
    Location: Salt Lake City, UT USA
  • Hi Mary, I'm afraid I just got your message about the concert. Sorry to have missed it -- we were out of town anyway! But thanks for thinking of me. It reminded me that I want to make a donation to Simon's memorial fund. Let's have coffee soon, or lunch. Muffy

    Monday, November 15, 2004 -- 14:02:17 (EST)
    Name: Rachael Coleman -- Email:
    Location: Salt Lake City,
  • (((Mary, Markus, Miriam and Simon))) Wow! Gemini is great! Thank you for sharing them with us. We had prior commitments on Saturday so we weren't able to attend the concert, but we were able to share the short set during the intergen service yesterday morning. The kids were naturally drawn up front to be part of the show. It reminded me of Pete Seeger shows with all of the youngins gathered around the musicians' feet. Last time I saw Pete Seeger was in a Unitarian church back in Albany with my friend Ali and our children. I hadn't thought about that in years. Memories of that day flooded over me while San and Laz played. I felt the gift of memories coming directly from your sweet boy. Powerful stuff. Thanks so much for touching my life.

    August went straight to the book table to get a Gemini CD which went into constant play once we got home. I was so glad to find out that my kids haven't outgrown children's music just yet. At least for this week I think we'll hear Gemini more than Sgt. Peppers.

    Brightest of blessings! Rachael

    Sunday, November 14, 2004 -- 22:13:31 (EST)
    Name: Kris Hopkins -- Email:
    Location: Clinton, NY
  • Thank you *so* much for sharing something about the Gemini visit this weekend. What a heart-warming and uplifting visit that must be -- not only for your family, but also for all the SLC folk who are (some for the first time) coming to know Gemini! And what a wonderful first project for Simon's memorial fund! I'm sure you all will be tuckered out when the activities are over, but the love and good music that will have been shared in the meantime will no doubt have done everyone who's been touched by them a *world* of good. And by writing about it, you've even managed to share a little of it with those of us who can't be there in person. So thank you again.

    Well, gotta go say good night to my birthday girl (Emily turned 14 today!). The funny thing is, I can remember -- as though it was just yesterday -- when Emily was Miriam's age.... (If I didn't send them earlier, happy belated birthday wishes to Miriam, too!)

    I wish you all a wonderful Gemini visit. And Mary, I wish you lots of enjoyment as you work on your Gershwin, Kern, and Porter songs!

    Sunday, November 14, 2004 -- 22:04:23 (EST)
    Name: Williams
    Location: Oakland,
  • Mary, Markus and Miriam,

    We thought about you a ton this weekend. We had a chance to go to Carmel and stay in my cousins house where you four stayed in March. Hadn't been there since you were. We thought of you probably walking down to the beach and watching the waves like we were. We walked to the Bakery this morning and then came back from Ocean Street by way of the beach. It was a bright sunny morning and the wind was coming from the East behind us so as the waves broke with the early morning light a spray would go up backwards and get lit up. The waves were huge and crashing hard. The dogs were running around loving their freedom and we found Rowan's huge sand mountain built the day before still intact. It was a good morning!!

    Looking forward to seeing you in February
    and lighting Simon's candle in person with you. So glad your time with Stan and Laz has been so full.

    We love you!!

    A, S, R

    Thursday, November 11, 2004 -- 10:29:57 (EST)
    Name: Caroline Helton -- Email:
    Location: Ann Arbor, MI USA
  • Hey Mary, Markus and Miriam,

    For some reason, as time goes on, I think of Simon and you all more and more, as if it's taken me 3 months for the enormity of your loss to begin to sink in. I also have a hard time thinking of something to say or do for you all that can help. I recently heard a line from a play that I think rings true. The character was describing the loss of his child when he said that there's nothing more lonely than being a childless parent, and that being a parent doesn't necessarily make you happy, but that it makes you whole. For what it's worth, I wanted to share these lines with you because I found their perspective meaningful. Keep singing, going to the ballet, mourning, putting one foot in front of the other, loving each other, which you have done so very well, and know that we're out here trudging along with you every step of the way.

    All our love,


    Wednesday, November 10, 2004 -- 22:42:19 (EST)
    Name: Jennifer Sharpe -- Email:
    Location: lyndhurst, oh USA
  • Hey Mary - i was just reading your recent update and i saw that you are starting ot make plans for simon's birthday, i think that is a great idea. My best friend's, friend, passed away from cancer about a year and a half ago and this past october was his birthday and i took her to the cemetary where all his friends and family gathered and they had candels, said prayers, and had a bunch of balloons that they wrote little messages on and sent them up.. i thought that was so sweet, so thats a good idea i think if you'd like:-)

    i hope all is well &amp miriam feel better babe! :-D i'll see you &amp your mom in a week or so!

    love to all
    --jennifer sharpe

    Tuesday, November 09, 2004 -- 21:45:58 (EST)
    Name: carla -- Email:
    Location: ann arbor, mi
  • mary, marcus, and miriam -- just wanted to send a quick note to let you know that I think of you and simon often. there is so much in ann arbor that reminds me of you all and gives me warm memories. -- carla

    Tuesday, November 09, 2004 -- 10:31:04 (EST)
    Name: Donna Ainsworth -- Email:
    Location: Ann Arbor , MI
  • Hello all,

    I'm glad to read that will continue for a very long time. The heartwrenching journey, Mary's eloquence and honesty, Simon's courage and sweetness, the outpouring of concern so many, many people are a witness to the joy and sadness of life and the strength people have to find deep within themselves to go on. One of the things I especially love are Mary's words to Simon, listening to him and helping him to process what's happening--you are such a great mom. I'm also very moved by the support your own parents have given you.


    Monday, November 08, 2004 -- 11:33:17 (EST)
    Name: Dotty Seiter -- Email:
    Location: Hamilton, MA USA
  • Connection Haiku

    The big work of grief --
    feeling loss, and at a loss
    for words, but speaking.


    Monday, November 08, 2004 -- 10:32:56 (EST)
    Name: Jean Watson -- Email:
    Location: Canton, OH USA
  • Hi Mary and family,
    I saw your parents a few weeks ago in Oberlin at a church reception for my parents 50th wedding anniversary (!)and shared a teary hug with your mom. It was great to see them - it's probably been 10 years since I last saw them to speak with, so this was wonderful. What lovely people they are, but then again, you already know that. :-)

    Give yourself a hug from me.
    Love, Jean

    Saturday, November 06, 2004 -- 19:04:46 (EST)
    Name: Liza
    Location: Ithaca, NY
  • Hi Mary,
    Sending a big hug today and a little bit of "connection" to you. You, Markus, and Miriam are in my thoughts often. Mike made a trip to a (fairly) local German butcher yesterday, and we were thinking of you all and the wonderful meals we shared together in family housing! He returned with many different varieties of bratwurst, landjaegers, sauerkraut, and knoefles (sp?)-- time for a feast! xo Liza

    Saturday, November 06, 2004 -- 11:23:14 (EST)
    Name: Mary Craig -- Email:
    Location: Salt Lake City, UT United States
  • Dear Everyone,

    YES. The big answer to Katrina's question about whether we want to read your messages here is YES.

    With the turn to a new month, I was planning to archive the October files, tidy things up on the site, and post an update. So, when I first saw Katrina's message, I stopped my urge to write right back.

    Well, nearly a week has passed, and I've been unable to find time/energy to do the Web work.

    I do look at the message board, probably daily. There are stretches where no new messages come in, so when there is a message, I feel connection.

    As I've learned in my grief group, finding ways to feel that connection--most importantly to Simon but also to others--is the big work of grief.

    So, I sure hope I get around to some of the updating I envision. For now, please, all of you, know that your outreach to us means a lot. Every card that comes (often with the starting phrase, "I've had this card on my desk for a month now, but it's been so hard to think what to say.") means so much. We, too, often don't know what to say. I think it helps that we are all trying together.

    With love,


    Monday, November 01, 2004 -- 11:35:31 (EST)
    Name: Katrina Zook -- Email:
    Location: Laramie, WY
  • Hello Mary,
    Another season is upon us here in Wyoming, lovely snow last night and it's currently in the low 20s. I'm sure SLC got the same. I think of you every day as I know each day brings new challenges in dealing with the loss of Simon. I don't know, does it help you to read these messages? I just want you to know, as I'm sure do all the other senders of messages, that you are thought of and held close in our hearts. Love, Katrina


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